Meh. Just wait it out. You have already told her you support her, which is huge! Time will tell if it’s a phase. My 20-year-old son has identified as a bunch of things; it’s all good.
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I’ve known for a very long time I wasn’t straight. It’s rarely a faze more so it’s just sexuality evolving over time. If it is then no harm no fowl. She’ll learn more slowly.
Just let her do her. If she figures out she’s not then she eventually figures that out. Just let her know that you will always live and support her no matter what and that she can always come to you. Clearly she feels comfortable enough to come to you and tell you that she’s gay, so if something does change she will hopefully feel just as comfortable to let you know that as well. You’re doing good, mom, keep going.
Let it be. They can know that early. Help her to be careful and feel safe in expressing it
I had crushes on girls and boys from a young age, I suppressed it and never acknowledged I might be gay or bisexual. Here I am as a bisexual at 25, engaged to a man. I missed my opportunity to explore my options because I was too afraid to admit to myself that I was into women too. Let her do what she wants or what she thinks she wants, what’s the worse that could happen?
I knew at 13 that I was gay, even had a girlfriend. I was forced to suppress it and only dated men for YEARS.
She’s not too young to know. She could definitely be experiencing some peer pressure, though. Just let her be. She will figure it out.
My first crush was when I was 4-5 years old. It was much more common for kids back in the day (before 90s) to feel it but not understand what it meant bc we didn’t see it around us or have that support. Now they can see it around them or on tv and realize “hey, that is how I’m feeling… that is what these feelings are!” I think you should worry less about if her friend may be “influencing” her and trust that she knows what she is feeling, and what she needs to go through to figure out who she is in her journey. Phase or not. Growing up is all about “phases” and trials Jmho
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I relate to this with my 13 yo and growing up in the south, being different is VERY hard and honestly my daughter won’t have many healthy outlets. I set an appointment with a counselor who specializes in sexual identity/teenage issues/etc. only because “I” am not a professional, her friends are not professionals… there will be very tough feelings that I want to get her the resources to deal with in a healthy way. I wanted to find someone to help guide her not necessarily towards what she thinks she is identifying with but towards looking into her heart and mind to help her in identifying herself. At this age they want to figure themselves out so early but there is so much to figure out that they haven’t even been through. Honestly my daughter has identified with male characters and personalities since she was a baby and I was a mom with her heart set on having her take ballet like me. I’ve learned she really is born as her own person and my job isn’t to navigate her into who I want or think she is but help her navigate herself honestly and healthy. My job is to stand there with my arms open. Your doing a great job already by loving her no matter what and letting her know that.
Dont question if she knows. She knows. I knew then. I didnt come out until i was 23, mainly because of my family and opinions similar to yours, and i really wish I had earlier. She knows. You knew you liked boys, aand its no different for her. She knows. Dont question it. Its not your judgement to make.
Even if it is a “phase”, who cares? It’s still a part of who they are. I wish my parents had encouraged me more as a child rather than saying things like “it’s just a phase” and “you’ll get over it”.
I would not worry about it if she is gay or not gay she is still the same person.
Just let her be her and she can then make her own choices as she grows.
Tell her you love her no matter what she chooses.
xx
Replace ‘gay’ with ‘straight’ and you’ll realize how bizarre this question is
I’ve known since I was younger than that that I’m bisexual. I actually knew I liked girls well before guys. It was just the normal attraction you start to notice. I always thought girls were beautiful I had a couple crushes but I hadn’t really seen other woman together so I thought there was something wrong with me till my mom’s friends came to visit from out of state and I realized some people are just afraid to say anything like I was.
How did you know you were attracted to men? Because that’s what you were told was normal or because you had a crush in first grade? 🤷
At 11 years old at 13 years old even at 16 years old these kids dont know what they are. My daughter told me when she was 13 she was gay amd we told her we support her in decisions but also explained that being that young you dont know . Guess what now shes almost 15 and shes definitely not gay.
My cousin was gay for 7 years now shes not. It could be a phase it could be how she feels but in my opinion no one knows who they are till their adults.
it could just be a “phase”, sexuality is fluid, there’s a possibility for it to change,. Thats for her to figure out and for you to support.
Exactly I’m going through the same thing with my daughter and at her age I had no idea I was into any one. Mine came out as pan. I told her we would support her no matter what. But I want her to make sure in her heart of hearts that it is true. I know lesbians that even in their late 20’s didn’t realize they were bi or pan! I feel a lot of young kids are “jumping on the band wagon”. But because we are their parents and not them we can never truly know what they are feeling or how they feel. All you can do is support them 100% and their choices and decisions!
The real question is, does it really matter what kind of sexuality your daughter have? Let her figure it out by herself and just be there to support her on her way. 
It’s the new thing to do!! I know one person letting her son turn into a girl. He wants attention from his dad!! Long story
Just let it go but be supportive and let her know you understand her thoughts and feelings may change over the years but no matter what you love her for her. As long as she knows that she will always be herself and won’t be afraid to continue to confide in you. My mother tried changing me believing it was the school and the students influencing me, I always liked both since early on but didn’t show it until high-school. I’m still the same way 10 years later. Yes I have a child and am engaged to a man but doesn’t mean I’m straight. Who just wants to be straight anyways and always slap a label on everything? Ya missing out 
My 11yo came out to me 2 months ago she said she just really likes this girl and she’s really pretty and she wanted to be her gf and I said that’s cool. She still has alot of years in front of her to experiment and figure out who she really is
I would tell her you support her no matter what, but I would also tell her she doesn’t have to label herself according to social norms and that she doesn’t have to label herself at all. She just loves who she loves. It really is that simple. I don’t really understand people’s needs for putting themselves in boxes. Boxes limit your potential for life and happiness.
Just let it go. It’s not hurting anyone. Let your daughter figure out who she is on her own just be there to support her every step as I know you will. Good Luck Momma.
I was 7 when I knew I was gay and I still am very gay today. Listen to her and acknowledge what she is saying, support her. Sexuality is fluid, and on a spectrum her preferences may change and develop differently as she grows older, but what amazing parents you must be to have her telling you at such a young age. Amazing
You don’t do anything but support your kid. It’s not your thing to figure out so let her figure herself out.
She’s 11… she doesn’t quite know yet she is still trying to find her feet in the world and explore who she is. I wouldn’t be concerned at all. But it’s great she is becoming aware of who she is and also that she is comfortable enough to share that.
If she thinks she is right now, let her explore that. Maybe she will kiss a girl and realize it isn’t girls she likes. Or just not that girl. This is the beginning of a very confusing journey for her and I’m really glad she has a supportive parent in her corner. So you may have to change which color grouping you represent from time to time. At least you’re willing to do that and be there for her new journey. Thanks for being a good parent.
Kids are still finding themselves out at that age. I would just leave it and she will figure herself out on her own. She just needs reassurance that she has support and unconditional love.
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Who cares what pronoun is used - just support whatever she wants to do or whoever she wants to be with. No need to try and understand.
WTF is pan sexual I’ve never heard such shit
When did you decide you liked the opposite sex?
Did you decide to like the opposite sex to be “cool”?
Answer any questions honestly. Then she will comfortable asking later if her feelings change.
Why would you need to do anything? It changes nothing so therefore nothing needs to be fixed. Let her figure out all that and just step back while just giving support and a safe place to go and talk.
Let her figure it out herself. If it’s a phase it will pass on its own
My middle daughter is gay. My youngest (kindergarten) was going around declaring she was gay too for awhile. 
Just let things work themselves out
Your child is ecploring their identity. No one knows anything without exploration.
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Relationships are about the personal connection, sex is secondary.
I think it depends on the person and what you feel appropriate for that age… my son is only 2 yrs old right now so I don’t have personal experience by any means, with my own children. You should be proud and happy that she felt comfortable coming to you and I understand where you’re coming from. (I know these days, we shouldn’t look at it as a phase, but I also think that we should be able to have open conversations with our children about sexuality and what means what SO that they aren’t so confused. And it is a confusing time. For a time, I wondered if I liked girls. But I think (FOR ME) it was just a “phase” because I watched my friends be open about what they felt and in my head I knew I liked boys, but saw how beautiful it was for my friends to come out and be different. I was straight the whole time and never “came out” but wondered. I also don’t think kids should have to “come out” to their parents but society.
) but when my sister in laws kids came out, her son came out about a week before her daughter. They are about two years difference in age and he’s older, so when her daughter came out, she wondered the same thing. Was it because of what’s around her or does she actually feel that way? From that experience with my sister in law and her kids (both came out at 13&15, I believe) I think it’s best to just let it be. Let her experience what she wants (obviously age appropriately) and if she decides in however much time that she’s straight, then so be it. If she doesn’t, it wasn’t a phase. I just think it’s more reprehensible to tell her she may be going thru a phase than to just accept it and further accept it when it’s her decision and not based off a friendship or anything like that. Just let her be her and whoever she decides that is, and obviously so far you are doing wonderful if she felt comfortable enough to come out to you (phase or not). We all worry about whether our children are doing things to be “cool”, so in this sense it’s not necessarily dangerous and if I were her, I just think I’d rather my parents let me figure out if I’m doing it because of my friends or not. I’m straight and like I said, my son is only 2. So take what I said with a grain of salt but just wanted to put it out there. 
good luck mama. And enjoy her while she’s still 11. The second I turned 13, I was a shit show. So before she takes a 180 on attitude, enjoy her as much as you can and show her support and be there for her struggles. 
Hey super mama, hugging her and telling her she has your support is the best thing that could’ve happened. Even if it was a phase (rarely is) she’ll always remember that you had her back. Let her feel everything out on her own
My entire childhood friend group came out before we hit senior year of high school. One by one we’re all in our mid to late 20’s now and it clearly wasn’t a phase. We’re all still out and proud to this day
Just be there whenever she wants to talk and when they decide to date be supportive. Explain consent and what boundaries are.
Mum i would just let her follow her path but keep an eye on her. I would explain how at their age feelings are changing all the time.
Love them like they are!! Don’t you want to be loved like you are? Or do you want someone asking you questions all the time about your life ? Love them for everything and anything that they are!!!
Honestly my 12 old son is going through something similar. I’m just gonna roll with it. I think my aon is confused and doesn’t know exactly what he’s talking about. I think he has ideas, and I’m not belittling him or making him feel invalid, im just explaining, along the lines of “you don’t need to identify as a girl to wear make up” because he wanted me to change his name at school to a girl name. Amd I said i.wouldnt
No need to Label at any age. We are individuals with separate needs/wants. At 11 yo we all go they finding ourselves. Just support her. Listen to her. Make time to spend with her! Be more involved!
11yr old doesn’t kno shit. They can repeat ideas even an explanation of it but doesn’t mean they understand it. why children’s favorite everything changes so often
Ooh…shes 11…think ya might want to be involved in your kids life…way to young to know anything…if she was gay you would already know…guide her through fads with steady hand and sense of humor.
My daughter was the same growing up. We had heaps of fights over it. Kids those days don’t care who loves them male or female. My daughter is now dating a male
I’m gay, I knew when I was about 5/6 that I was different, wasn’t until I was a teenager that I knew what it was.
I’m an older mom. My children 17-24. My latest advice is stating the fact that until you’re in your 30’s everything looks appealing. Knock yourself out. Take the time to find out who you are.
She is who she is. Research says kids know when they’re very young so it’s not strange that she told you now. She may even have known earlier but taken her time in telling you because she was concerned about how you’d react. Don’t cement those concerns by asking if it’s a phase. There are many sexualities out there and these days children are aware of them and can better label their emotions. There have always been LGBTQIA+ people in the world. If she came to you and said she was straight you wouldn’t have this concern. If you imply that it’s a phase you’re telling her there’s something wrong with it, and there’s not. Just keep supporting her.
If it is a phase, so what? Looking back she’ll only remember you being loving and supportive. That’s all you really can do. If you even slightly suggest that it is a “phase”, it will all go south. I promise you that. Just keep being supportive and let her figure it out for herself.
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Have a grown-up talk with her. Tell her you love and support her but she is now responsible for her choices and as you’ve told her before, make sure those choices ARE HER CHOICES…not being talked in to something she isn’t sure about in life but choices she feels are right in her heart, her gut and her brain…and btw the heart, gut and brain do not always make the same choice…so now that she is becoming an adult make sure she considers the benefits and consequences of her decisions like an adult. That is what life and responsibility is all about…decisions and dealing with the good and bad that come from those choices you make no matter what the question.
How did you know for certain you’re your sexual orientation?
Kids know themselves. They know if they like boys, girls or the whole spectrum!
Being a parent of a daughter who went through about everything you could go through I figured out early that if I smiled and agreed with her and made a big deal out of her and told her how beautiful she looked with her black lipstick and black room bedspread and all this other stuff she went through so many stages of not great things. If I smiled and told her that I loved it it seemed to disappear a lot quicker. I know it doesn’t make much sense but sometimes they are looking for a reaction from you and I want a negative one so if you act very positive and you’re backing her up on all these little different trials then it’s like on to the next one because that didn’t faze mom. You could at least try it and see
We all expect kids to be “straight” but i had my first crush at 7 on my bestfriend who happened to be a girl, my parents were vary much agesnt it, i had to stop being her friend and i never saw her again and to this day i still think about her.
I had to hide the fact i liked girls for a vary long time after that. So just be saportive. She might be gay she might not be or she could be pan or bi. She will figuer that out when she is ready. Just be their for her
I think you’re doing a good job. At that age I feel like kids are really just exploring different things and starting to figure out who they really are. My thought is, as long as it isn’t actively dangerous or endangering other people, let them figure it out.
If its a phase its a phase she is young but despite what many parents like to think kids do know who they are and with supportive parents they arent afraid to be themselves
You’re old, get used to it. Harsh but true. I think kids have to be different in order to help define themselves. Could be food, music, clothing. Have you ever wondered why each generation has their own style?
Keep being supportive as long as it’s not hurting anyone or putting herself or anyone else in danger wether it’s a phaze or not she will figure out for herself in time
As long as she knows that she can tell you anything and you’ll love her no matter what - that’s all she needs to know
Like you said it doesn’t matter. Maybe she’s hit her exploration stage. Just be supportive which it sounds like you are.
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Leave her to it she will figure it out on her own I knew I was gay from a very young age it was very confusing it took me years to tell my family and when my mum said it was a phase it broke my heart and now I’m 30 and out and proud but the amount of people who don’t come out because they are worried about what their friends and family might think is heartbreaking she was brave enough to tell you so leave it at that and just support her
support her unconditionally unless it’s hurting her or someone else. she will have many influences throughout life and change parts of her identity many times, just like we all do. the only thing that matters is that she knows that’s OK and she has your support. you will never know what’s going to “stick” and what’s a “phase” really. just listen and support.
Just let her make her own story. If she changes her mind, she’ll tell you. But she has to do it all in her own time.
I stopped reading the rest because IT DOESN’T MATTER. DO NOTHING. Just love her
I was around 5 years old when I knew I was different. Then around 10 I figured out what that meant. Just let her do what she feels! You’re amazing for supporting her!
Just be happy that at 11 she had the confidence to tell you. That reflects in your relationship 
it may change as she hits puberty and adolescence. Just be supportive and encourage her to be open minded xx
My advice: Support and move along with your day! We need to explore and learn who we are , what makes us happy. Some discover themselves at 5 and some not until they are in their 50’s. All you need to do is love your Baby, support her choices and educate her as to go about “sexual/relationships” safely.
It might be worth reading / reaching out to others who has been through similar things. It might help put some of your questions / fears to bed
Just love her and roll with it. She will figure it all out someday.
Imagine how amazing her journey will be knowing you love her unconditionally as she discovers herself. She won’t experience the heartbreak and fear so many queer kids endure because their families are unmitigated douchbags.
Give her space to figure out who she is. It takes a lifetime. Thats what you should do 
How did you know you were straight? The same way she knows she’s gay and if it’d a phase so what let her enjoy it
Should you let her find it on her own? In all honesty, what choice do you have? Just be patient while she figures this out. It will all work out in the end. It always does. 
Let your daughter be herself and if she is hey let it be as long as healthy safe and happy… my daughter will be 13 Sunday and similar situation… you know… just be there and love and support your child … let them love … that is a big problem in this world… lack of love!! Welcome to messenger me anytime if would like to talk!!
I taught high school and there were so many that thought they were then the next you know, they’re not… they just need time to see where they are going!
She will figure it out in due time, whatever her sexuality is.
She knows when she knows. I’m still figuring things out at 26. But I knew when I knew at a younger age. Be supportive and if she finds another label to suit her better, support her. You are on her sidelines.
I dont think it should matter its a different world these days love is love nobody should be shamed or criticized for who they are into girl or boy its all just the same thing love to me.
Its simply experimental years, she’s not going to settle for the first experience…she will sort it out. Plenty of time x
Just support her in finding her way! Only she knows what’s right for her so let her find that person and make sure you are there for support at each stage!
Support your daughter any way you can. If it IS just a phase, no harm done. If not, your daughter will know that she can come to you about ANYTHING, and know that you won’t judge her and she has all of your love and support. I knew I liked both girls and boys by age 8 or 9, but I didn’t know what it meant. My grandmother was raised as a catholic, and even though I knew what a gay person was, I didn’t fully understand until I was much older. I came out as bi at 13 years old. I had some support, but not enough to fully be myself and explore my sexuality.
All I read was first line. She knows. Support her. Support her with all you have to give. If something changes, support that too. That’s all you need to do as a parent.
The best thing you could do is just be supportive and let her figure it out. If you ask her questions about it being a faze or are you sure you’re not just doing this to be cool, you might alienate her. Just be there for her and just chill. She’ll be fine. 
I knew I was attracted to girls as well as boys in middle school but only ever focused on the boys because that was what I knew as normal. I’m so glad kids are talking about it more because those attractions and awakenings happen then and that’s when the societal worry and shame set in to squash it as well. She probably just feels encouraged by her friend also feeling that way and she’s curious. If it ends up not working out just remind her none of the labels matter and sexuality is a constantly flowing and changing thing as we get older and learn more about ourselves. Everything is a “phase” at 11, no one knows exactly what they want in those formative years but that doesn’t mean she’s wrong or doing it only because of her friend. Just support her journey. Remember it’s not a big deal either way, she may very well know she’s had crushes on both and now knows how to identify it. If not no harm at all for being open minded.
Teach her about sexual health and safety and let her figure the rest out
It’s wonderful that your daughter at 11 years old feels comfortable enough to tell you she’s gay. The fact that she knows you love and accept her this way tells her that if she decides in 2 days, 2 years or in high school that she realizes now that was just a phase or she feels differently she will come to you and tell you. Don’t over think, or try to figure out is she really? Trust her to tell you because you love her no matter what. Good going Mom!!!
You should read The book of Romans in the Bible. The first two chapters would be a great start of her education on the subject. You should find a good church that teaches out of the Bible and raise your daughter in it so that you can do your level best to keep your daughter from going down the wrong path. I pray for you to have the strength and courage to do the right thing for your daughter:pray:
Just think, “would any of this concern you if she had said she was straight?”
Let her find it on her own. She will be happy she can come to you and tell you whether or not she is. If it’s just a phase let it be. My sister came out to me and she is afraid she will not be accepted by our parents she told me she wasn’t sure what she was and I said that’s fine you will know when you know. I also have a daughter who has seen her auntie do this and I told her I support her either way.
I knew my daughter liked girls around the age of 5. She would see girls on tv and say they were gorgeous. She is 16 now and still feels the same about girls. When a person knows, they know. No matter the age.
People can change who they are all the time… let them figure out things and just go with it… make sure you are always there for them because once you start to question them and make them feel invalid is when they stop talking to you… just go with the flow
Let her find her own way. She may change her mind, and she may not. The important thing is to tell her you love her no matter what.
Oh i dont know, i always knew my daughter was gay, she came out at 19, she was scared to say anything, dont know why, i said oh good finally you say something, and then we laughed, then she said mum you knew, i said yes
Go with the flow, I’ve had to with my middle child coming out as trans and big. I love him no matter what!
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Just let them be themselves if it is a phase then let it be, if not then it’s still fine. Just let people be people
Let her find out on her own, let her know that you support her and are there for her but say that you encourage her to be whom ever she wants to be 
Just be glad you’re the kind if mum that has kids who confide in you. The rest will take care of itself.
Would you have responded the same way if she told you that she is using drugs or now in a gang of robbers?
I knew my baby was gay Lawd when she 7/8 she tries to hide it had boyfriends the whole nine I just waited she told me on her 16th birthday all nervous like I have something to tell you mom don’t be mad I thought she was gone tell me she was failing school she says I’m gay I was like oh I already knew was just waiting for you to tell me. Never bothered me idk how I knew but I just knew she wasn’t comfortable as a girl she was so awkward. I say don’t judge let them figure it out to me it seems to be a fad but some kids truly know what they like and don’t like so don’t knock them
By 11 while I may have thought a girl was pretty or beautiful I didn’t have crushes on them like I did on boys.
Let her be who she feels she is, tomorrow she may feel different but so long as she feels supported she will always be herself
My daughter (11) came out as queer and we had a pride party! We invited all her friends and played a “guess the pride flag” game and we used it as a learning experience to teach all the kids about different sexualities. They were all so curious and keen to learn! And they all were discussing which they were or which they might be. They’ll figure it out and I’d much rather my kids know they never need to limit themselves to one gender, that’s the story society pushes and we have to actively fight that to give our kids a fair go, to properly support them on their journey, without shame or fear!
Kids are raised in a heterosexual society, they should know that there are other options! Of course it’s up to them to figure out what’s right for them, but to say they’re “confused” or going through a “phase” just further confirms the hetero narrative.
Let them be kids and educate them to never limit themselves! No matter what you think their motivations are 
I think exactly what you’re doing is perfect. There’s no “playbook” for us parents. All we have to go off of is what we’ve learned over our past experiences. It’s a weird world we live in today, and unfortunately, we have to bob and weave on occasion outside of what we know to be the “norm”. You’ve instructed and guided your daughter to make decisions that she feels are right and not what she feels everybody else wants her to do. I think that’s all you can do.