What should I do?

Recently my daughter (11yo) told me she is gay. I do not have any issue with that, but my question is, How can they know for sure? …I’ve been thinking it , like for example, her best friend likes anime, and my daughter got into it because of her…I do like anime, and metal music and stuff like that, but she wouldn’t give it a chance when I asked to try to watch/listen something with me…after she got into anime like her friend was when she decided to give a try to what I do like…so, her best friend says she is pansexual, could be that my daughter is saying she is gay because she wants to be “cool” as them? What should I do? How to know it is for sure and not a phase? When she told me that I gave her a big hug she knows no matter what I’ll always support her, but dont know if she has in mind one of my advices I have always say to her…“Do what you want and be who you want to be as long is what you want and not because you want to follow everyone else”…I don’t wat to make her feel confused/bad etc…So, Should I let her find it on her own (if it’s maybe because of her friends)or should I involved more somehow?Thank you!


Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. What should I do?


Personally I don’t think the label matters! As long as she knows nothing has to be set is stone and she’s accepted for who she is it will all work itself out. As she learns more about herself even into adulthood she may redefine her preferences but for now as long as she is supported by those around her and not discouraged from non-hetero relationships she’ll be okay. I wouldn’t worry too much about whether you believe this is coming from her, if it isn’t then it’ll come out in the wash later on but it’s her journey and for now support is the best thing you can give her x


What I told my daughter. Who is 11 and told me the same . I said I support you no matter what. But know you are young and your feelings may change over the years and that’s ok too. I support whoever she wants to date as long as they are nice to her. But if they aren’t nice then I got issues…


I think it’s time that “coming out” is a non thing. I want my children to just come home with whoever makes them happy and be happy and safe in the knowledge we dont care what sex they are!


My son is gay and he knew it at 11 but didn’t tell me until he was 20. He suffered for years with insecurity including going to church a lot and praying his little heart out (for fear he’d be rejected). I wish he had told me. I still get heart pains when I think of his struggle. He’s now 47 with a beautiful husband and a precious adoped son.


I would just leave it… if she turned round and said she was straight there wouldn’t be a big deal made of it. Just let her crack on. If she likes girls she likes girls. 🤷


I was boy crazy at that age but it wasn’t until I was like 25 that I realised I was pansexual. I was pansexual all along… just didn’t I know how to express it or what it was. I’ve literally never cared about anyone’s gender or gender identity if someone is attractive theyre attractive …and it was neat to find out I was perfectly normal.


I came out as a lesbian when I was 13. Years later I realized I was in fact bisexual, and I only thought I wasn’t attracted to men because of my sexual assault. Once I healed from that, I realized I did like guys. But my point is, she may think she’s lesbian right now but In a few years she may realize she identifies as something else after doing more research and learning more about sexuality and herself or she really is gay and it won’t change! It’s completely normal though.


When did you know you were straight. Were you straight because your friends were straight or did you feel something different within you?? I’m just glad she could tell you and feel your support…good work mom or dad


I knew at a very young age I liked girls along with boys :woman_shrugging:t4: still holds true to this day! Support your baby


My oldest, now 16, came out every Thanksgiving with something. One year she was Ace, one year she was Pan, I think last year she was Demiromantic pan-platonic? We just tell her every year that we support her no matter what.


When was your first crush? I was 8… I knew then what my preference was


Don’t tell her it might be a phase. If it is, which most likely isn’t, let her figure that out. Just be supportive. I will say, ppl DO tend to know their sexuality during middle school age so it’s not unusual she knows she’s gay at 11.


Since when are 11 year olds having sex, woah slow down, have the responsibility talk. sex shouldn’t be just for pleasure, there are others feelings like love involved, reproduction and sexually transmitted diseases. Sex isn’t just a bodily function, it’s a responsibility.


I kissed a girl on the bleachers in 1st grade and found my sexual orientation(bisexual) a bit later in life. Give your kid room to explore and ditch the “how do you know?” mentality. Give her room to explore and she’ll know for sure in time.


You are overthinking this. My daughter is 13 and says she is pansexual but when she was 10 she had a major crush on a boy. Don’t worry about this thing ( unless they are having emotional issues). This will sort itself out over time. Focus your time on making sure she has the skills she will need to make it in life.


Why does it matter if it’s a phase or not? It might be, or it might not be. The age she’s at now is a confusing time for children, they have so many different hormones and feelings rushing through them. The best you can do as a parent is support her no matter what.


My daughter 12 just came out to me as gay as well. Our jobs as parents are to let them findselves. Either way my love is unconditional and sexual orientation won’t come between that. It could be a phase. Or it couldn’t. Let them figure it out.


good answer. Leave her too it. Answer questions or have discussions if she wants them.


Was in a similar situation. I told my child they may feel differently in the future and to not get hung up on a label. Let them know it’s always OK to change their mind at any point. If you had any phases yourself talk to your child about it. Tell them your own journey and connect that way. You are doing great!


You support your kid. No matter what.


It’s 2021 and people still think “did SOMEONE ELSE turn my kid gay?”


Let her know that it’s fine to explore but not pop a title on it right now. She doesn’t want to feel pressured by titles… teach her about safe ways to explore.

Be open with the conversation. Or even if you have a friend that can talk with her more openly.


Honestly if this was me I would just be there for her. I don’t like labels so technically I am cis gender pansexual in a heteronormative marriage with a cisgender male. (Boring yes sorry). But even stating my label makes me shake my head, I’m just Kori 🤷 let her be her and don’t get caught up in labels :heart::100:


I knew at a very young age that I wasn’t straight. And for a long time I thought I might be gay and really wasn’t all that interested in boys and thought their penis’ were weird… the first people I ever “slept” with were my best girlfriends in junior high… I’m very proudly bisexual and have only been in serious long term relationships with men but that has never made me question if I like one sex more than the other.

Be proud that she felt comfortable enough to tell you!!! My parents knew but I never actually came out until I was 15. Just support her, let her experiment safely and age appropriately and you’ll be fine mama :sparkling_heart:


How did you know at that age that you were straight? You just know


She’s 11. She’s trying to see what fits for her and figuring herself out. She’ll go through phases, trends, etc. It’s just the process of her getting to know her. Nbd. Just support her and help her with questions she has and live your lives.


You do exactly what you did-you let her know that no matter what you’ll love her. Maybe it’s a phase, maybe she is gay, maybe she finds out down the line she’s something else. I’m so glad that, no matter what, she has a mom that loves her unconditionally!


Ummmm. Many people go through phases of trying to figure out their sexuality. It is normal. It doesn’t matter if she has the correct word for her sexuality or not. You should give her talks about sex and love of all kinds and that labels don’t matter but if she needs one to discover herself then you are happy to help her. Teach about her body. And when she’s old enough, about safe sex with women. School will teach her about heterosexual sex so you are there to fill in the gaps. It doesn’t matter if something is a phase or not because regardless, this is her life. Show your support, don’t question her validity.


My 11 year old just told me she was Pan too… I tried explaining what it means… but she thinks it means you have love for all people… so… let her be “pan”…


I had a niece that I helped raise and she went through that phase. She insisted she was gay and had been involved with her best friend. I told her that I didn’t think she was gay however I thought she was horny and that was the big attraction. I was right and I believe that it’s very common with tweens and young teenagers. They then get confused about their own sexuality. Just make sure that she is using all the necessary precautions with everyone. Good luck.


Do nothing. She will figure.out in time what her preference is


You are doing your enlightened best. Since she says she’s gay, rules for boys apply to girls. It’s a tough call, and she may have girlfriends that aren’t gay, but when she gets to dating age, if you wouldn’t let a boy have a sleepover with her, then think before you allow a girl to have a sleepover with her. You can’t dictate her life choices but you can set the ground rules for your own house.


Would you ask any of this if she told you she liked boys? No probably not. Even if it is a phase let her live through it, it will help her figure out who she is and what she really wants.


She might be a little young to be absolutely sure. I can’t help but find it a little sad nowadays that eleven year olds are concerned about their sexuality (stay young kids :cry:) but ultimately it shouldn’t matter what she is, what she isn’t or if she changes her mind or realises she’s wrong in a week, a month, a year. Just support her and make it so she can confide in you in regards to how she’s feeling.


At that age sex sound not be an issue. Let her enjoy being a child


Support your child in their discovery of who they are, and who they are not. My 12 year old also came out to be as lesbian and now is non-binary, and I fully support them and their identity. When my child tells me who they are, I listen, and make sure they have a solid understanding of who that is, with or without labels.
I create a safe space for them to explore all the different ways of “being”, and make sure they feel safe in knowing that could change as they grow and learn, and it could also not change. The point is, love them when they tell you who they are. They will feel safe to exist in your space and allow you into theirs. That’s all we can do as parents, right? Love and appreciate our children for who they are, even as that develops and changes. I want my child to know they are safe, loved, and welcome just as they are in this world, no matter if they “really know” or not. That’s for them to decide and discover with my support, with proper education and self growth, not for me to question. :rainbow_flag:


Who cares, it doesn’t matter, let her figure it out


I’m soooo fed up with this narrative :roll_eyes: nobody questions “how” straight children “know” they’re straight!! Why is it that it’s such a question when a child is gay/queer?? I remember my parents getting all giddy about me having crushes on boys when I was literally 4-5… nobody questioned it! she’s literally almost a teenager, if she says she knows, then she KNOWS. Just accept it and move on. If she changes her label or stance on her sexuality later on in life, then you’ll face that hurtle when it comes.

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Does it really matter if shes sure or not? People experiment, change their minds, sexuality is fluid at a younger age. Let her be what she wants now, she may change her mind later or she might not. Either way you shouldn’t care!

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You can always ask her specifics i guess. :rofl: I wouldn’t look too much into it. Her sexuality might stay the same or change over time, it is her journey. As long as you love her unconditionally, nothing else really matters. :two_hearts:

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Well girl I think you need to pray a lot and give it to the Lord


Just support her choice. At such a young age she is probably just figuring out who she is. Support goes a long way. If she ends up not being gay then she knows you always got her back

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My daughter (11) is currently identifying as bisexual. Says she’s dating another girl. She is very open about it.
I don’t think you need to do anything.
Support her and be there for her during this journey. Answer any questions as best you can as you would if she were straight.

It seems sexuality is being explored so much younger now. And with the LGBTQ community so widely accepted now i think it’s great our kids are able to speak out so honestly now when 10years ago would have kept it a secret.

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Literally just leave her alone to figure it out. Regardless it shouldn’t matter :raised_hands:t2:

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Hey,sounds like my exact story…however, being a teacher, it the “in thing” however, I will love and support my daughter but do think kids are drawn in from ademe and wanting to fit in. I know in time she will discover the real her and we will support her all the way!

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She’s expressed she’s gay and she is quite young but she might not know exactly what she wants yet. Just be aware she doesn’t follow the grain and let her explore eventually ( age appropriately) because that’s the only way she’s going to figure out who she is and what she wants.

I knew I was interested in men and women at 10, the same way my brother knew he liked girls at 10. I’m 27 now and still am attracted to both, have dated and loved both. It wasn’t a phase. But even it is for your daughter why not just be supportive and living during every moment and not worry about trying to define her for yourself and just let her discover herself for her?

Well, I didn’t tell my mom right away cuz I knew I liked girls but my generation growing up it wasn’t okay and having anxiety and depression I didn’t wanna b judged. So I had to experiment and see. And yep I knew then I was gay fr. Everyone is different I feel like.
I love me and I don’t care who don’t like it. It’s my life not theirs.
Didn’t tell my mom til 10th grade.

Just don’t say anything to her and leave it. She’s still so young to really date anyone right now but when she gets older prepare yourself for her to bring a girl home just in case. She’ll figure it out, your opinion on her sexual orientation is not needed, wanted, or appropriate. If you really feel that strongly about it put her into counseling with a pro-LGBT therapist so that she can talk to a third party about it and they can help her with anything she needs and they’ll talk to you and guide you through how you can be supportive.

Baby, it’s not a phase. If she told you, she knows. There’s no making that shit up. I knew at 12 I was bi. I don’t think she’s pulling your leg or trying to be cool, she’s trying to be open with you.

She’s at the age where she’s questioning her sexuality. It is more public and socially acceptable for the most part to be out and gay. I knew at a young age that I liked both girls and boys. I hear people say how does anyone know so young? I explain it to them, just as you knew when you were younger when you got butterflies about a boy or a girl that you liked. Things may change she may identify differently later but as for now that’s what she’s recognizing in herself. I’m proud of her for knowing herself at such a young age and feeling enough love and support from you to be able to come to you with this. No matter how accepting people may or may not think parents and loved ones can be you just never know. That’s why most put it off until they’re older. Not because they don’t understand and recognize their feelings within themselves. But because they finally come to an age where they can possibly deal with the rejection of loved ones. Being able to love themselves and move forward with their truth.

Just my thoughts .
I wish you and your family the best. Be her Ally and biggest supporter.

If you don’t care that she is gay then this whole post is overthinking. She doesn’t have to be sure at 11 but if that is how she feels now support her no matter what.

Just let her be she will know for sure when she knows labels don’t matter at any age

In my teens I thought I’d might be gay snogged a few lasses here and there but it never amounted to anything and I found I liked boys more than girls ( not just in the dating sense ) lol I had friends who where boys and as I got older seemed to feel like I got on with them well. I figured out my sexuality myself I was already bullied alot and kept things like that totally to myself. She will figure it out just support her what ever she decides or wants to do xx

Don’t give it a second thought. Does it matter that much to you honestly? My 12 year old told me she was bi, but as I said to her, I don’t see why it’s a big deal. I don’t see how she feels like she has to announce to the world that she likes boys or girls is even a thing. Why fuss over dating preferences? If my 12 yr old brings a girlfriend or boyfriend home when she’s older, I don’t give a rats a*** what gender they are as long as they treat her right.

If she brings home a groomer on the other hand there’ll be a significant issues.

I’m sorry- I am gonna have legit the worst backlash from this but being gay is your attraction(sexual attraction) towards others. This girl is only 11 years old.
How can she know that she’s entirely gay when she probably hasn’t even begun to explore her sexuality?
I honestly believe that the media convinces people that they’re gay. It’s so popularized, publicized, and all other sorts of things.
Don’t tell your daughter she can’t be gay- she very well might be.
Let her know that this is one of those things she probably doesn’t entirely understand yet.
Tell her it’s okay to like boys- and it’s okay to like girls. Just wait until she’s experienced more to finally confirm her decision for she is at an age she doesn’t understand so yet

Just support her pet her make her own decisions pertaining to her preferences… I knew by then I liked boys qnd girls too but was to afraid to say anything to anyone… heck I still don’t talk much about it

my daughter has just turned 10 and identifies as gender fluid and a lesbian. neither of which i have an issue with and support her either way. we have said that may change in the future but if it doesnt thats ok. my only issue is labels. She is mildly autistic and likes to be labelled or put in certain categories. shes also very grown up and “developed” for her age and most of the kids shes around dont understand what shes onabout so makes it a little harder. my advice is to leave them to it, but be supportive as and when needed, phase or not x

We all adore our kids and honestly I don’t know if it’s just a phase or it will stick but unconditional love and giving your child age appropriate information is key to helping them on their journey of self development. Answer her questions, explain what relationships should be like and how she doesn’t have to label herself at this age xxx good luck xxx

I think it’s more important for you kid to figure this out for themselves than for you to figure it out for them. We can teach them how to be safe but we can’t keep them from making mistakes or getting hurt.

Just let it be. If she is trying it out. But if it’s real she needs to feel that she is accepted by you regardless of her sexual orientation. Love your child. Don’t take her to a doctor or a priest or anything just love her.

Just love her…I have 4 beautiful girls and found out recently that 3 of them are gay. What a shock, yeah then 1 gets a boyfriend, ( Pansexual i found out). I had no idea what was what until they explained their feelings to me. Just be there and be gentle and be willing to open your heart and mind as much as you can.:sparkling_heart:

Leave it be mom…

If it is a " phase " or something she’s just trying out it will pass on its own after time

If it isn’t & you start talking about her not doing stuff just because others do she will definitely feel unsupported & possibly lash out…

Best to let them sort some stuff out for themselves

My daughter decided this when she was about that age and now she claims a sexual she has zero interest at all they’re going to go and change their minds over and over again just like we do. But I’ll tell you this I thought the same thing when I was her age and I still think it. I just look at it like this either way it’s none of our business so let them think whatever they want and feel what they want

Ask yourself if you would even be asking these questions if she had told you she was straight. Would you be worried that it might be just a phase or would you just wait it out to see if she turned out to be gay after all?
In short, yes, let her figure it out for herself.

I think sit with her and talk it out with her and explain the different types of sexuality. Because sometimes they follow friends but normally they know from their small I have a brother and sister who are gay who I knew from we were small were different I just didn’t know y or what it used to be taboo but I knew.

Honestly she’s at a time in life where she’s probably questioning things, like whether or not she likes boys, or girls, or both or neither. Let her figure it out, don’t push the issue she will figure it out and I’m sure if she has questions she’ll come to you.

Just support her and stop questioning why she is like this. If your ok with her being gay then you be asking how does this happen and blaming her friends and saying it’s a phase so what If it a phase.
It’s not for you to judge as mother just be there and support her thru it.
The issue is you asking what do u do
You do nothing give her hug tell her love her and that it’s ok

omg i’m going through this right now my 16yr old just told me the same thing ad she’s never been w a male or female this week has been tough for me so i’m definitely going to b reading all the comments i’m just as lost lol

If she told you she thinks she’s gay, it’s taken her a fair amount of courage to come out and say that, even if you guys are close.

She might not understand where her sexuality is going just yet, but you’re doing the right thing by being supportive and letting her make her own life choices.

I knew in first grade I felt things for women, tried to fit in at 16 with my friends and dated a horrible boy, got pushed into sex and wanted to fit in and ended up pregnant so again I didnt fit in lol. I finally accepted myself at 22 and it’s been so much easier since doing so. You absolutely can know young. I was told it was wrong then it was a phase. If only I was accepted by my loved ones then.

Sounds like you are, deep down, judging her and hoping she isn’t really gay
How did you know you like men?
And, anyway, it’s ok to not be sure. To think you are one thing and then figure out some time later you are actually something different.
Support her now, she will know how she feels.

I had this convo with my 11 year old. I told her that it’s fine, but let’s not focus too much on your sexuality right now. Focus on being an 11 year old. We can have this conversation in a few more years.

She was fine with that and is happy :blush:

She must be grounded immediately and forced to watch old episodes of “All in the family”. She will be back on track in no time.

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It’s trendy. Especially with the anime scene. I wouldn’t make a big deal of it. She’ll figure it out.

Give her a safe space to express herself. Let her have her phase and if it turns permanent then you didn’t sacrifice a good relationship with her by making her feel like she doesn’t have freedom of choice. If it ends up a phase then what’s the harm? She needs you to allow her to make mistakes, choices, life direction without you trying to dissect it or tell her how she feels is somehow wrong. So what if she is doing it to be cool? No better way to find out you’re not a lesbian than trying it out and not liking it lol

My daughter did the same thing a little while back and she’s about the same age. So I asked her do you want to have sex with women. She said no. Well I said to her if you have no interest in having sex with a woman then you are not gay. I told her it’s okay to love women and it doesn’t make you necessarily gay. I told her I love my best friend Joey but I’m not gay. The problem is with all this propaganda out there about buying gay it confuses a lot of children they don’t understand the true meaning of being gay or being bi. I have no issue with someone making those choices in their life but something’s got to be done so that it stops confusing children so much. Honestly though I don’t know what could be done differently so that it doesn’t confuse children. But we definitely need to figure it out.

I originally thought I was straight, then bi, but I found out that I’m actually pansexual. It might be a phase, but it also might not. I would just support her as you always would and let her explore herself (in a safe way because she is still only 11.) She is allowed to be attracted to people but definitely would set some ground rules and maybe talk about safe sex for all types of sexual encounters. Because kids will find a way no matter what. But they need to know that you will always have their back

Perhaps she did like the anime but because it’s different she didn’t want to admit it, then she got friends that made her feel comfortable? This also works for her sexuality. Maybe she has found some friends that really allow her to be herself?
You’re response to her has been great, now keep those sores open and let her continue to come to you as she navigates life. If you question it, you’re instantly shutting the doors.

You shouldn’t do anything, just live as nothing happened, no matter her preference , it’s her body what she will do in the future with it, phase or not

I worked in a girls home and I can tell you that they ALL explored because there were only girls around 24/7. I am still close to most of the girls now that they are adults and yes most of them are in straight relationships. Does that mean they weren’t “really” gay? No. Feelings are feelings and sexuality is a spectrum. I hate when people use the word phase. it’s how she feels now. Even IF it’s not how she feels later.

At 11 it might be a phase ask her to give it time until she’s older and hormones and feelings are stronger
It’s a shame she even thinks about this at her age

i would just let it be. nothing needs to change with regards to how you treat her
if she is just trying to fit in or is really gay. she will work it out for herself eventually. :heart:

I think at one point in life you are trying to figure out who you are … 11 is a little young to know what you want but with that being said . let Her figure out what she wants but, also guide her when she needs help . I personally think it’s a phase I’ve had several friends kids that have been like this . in the end they find them selves and all’s good

“How to know it is for sure and not a phase?” answer: you can’t. you won’t know if its “for sure” because the only person that can be “sure” about ur daughter’s sexuality is ur daughter. Regardless, why are you worried about whether she is ‘actually gay’? is there a reason she has to be sure about her sexuality right now? shes 11. If it is a phase, she and you will know in time. but in this moment in time, she likes women. no need to wonder beyond that.

I’ve been going threw same thing with my 13 year old daughter & it started around 11 as well. I had same questions as you. So I sat my daughter down & asked her questions on why she felt she liked certain characteristics of people instead of their sex. Then just let her be her. Support & live her. She will figure it out who she is with time…

I remember being 6 and having a crush on Will Robinson from lost in space. I remember having a crush on a boy in the second grade. None of that was sexual. Innocent crushes. Once puberty hits and the hormones are raging you know which side your bread is buttered.

Looking back I was always gay. Even going back as far as 11-12. When the family found out in my teens I was told by a family member “how do you know you’re gay when you’ve never had a boyfriend?”. :flushed: I feel like that’s fairly self explanatory but anywho. I took it as they weren’t supportive so spent the next 4-5 years in meaningless relationships with guys and so on. I finally came out at the age of 24 but always remembered what the family member said. Most recently that exact family member said I’m kidding myself, I’m bi-sexual because I had relationships with guys. Ummm, no no. I’m pretty sure I know in myself that I am in fact gay but thank you for your comments and opinions which did nothing but confuse and terrify a young teen who thought her family would disown her.
You may thing a child of 11 could never possibly know but you need to let it be. Let the child figure it out and be there for support, not criticism. This world is hard enough. Dont be like my family member who made me feel inferior and like I was made wrong. Accept and support. It’s that easy!

I was around eleven or twelve when I developed a crush on my girl best friend. So, I would imagine she probably knows she has an attraction to girls already. Sexual identity can change throughout your lifetime, but it’s not a big deal. Just give her all the sexual information she needs to be safe and then give her space to grow and identify herself.

I would tell my child I will support them no matter what and when the time comes to explore that ill be there but at that age thats not what they need to be worried about right now school friends having fun being a kid is whats important thats the last thing that should be on my kids mind

My stepchild came out as gay in her teens. At 22 she seems to be more “bi”. I wasn’t convinced she was gay when she told me because she’s always liked boys and she’s had reason growing up to be fearful of men. Bottom line, everyone is exploring and learning about themselves. I didn’t accept my bisexuality until I was in my 30’s because I was stuck in societies box. I would not treat it as an issue at all. Just let her be without hindrance or judgment like you have done all along. Love is love after all. My granddaughter experimented with girls and personally I thought it the safer alternative to experimenting with boys!

I say just support her as she is now and as she grows and learns more about her feelings if her thoughts change then just continue to support her… I think it’s the same with kids so think they are totally straight and eventually realize that may not be true as they grow and develop. All you can do is grow and develop with them and support them and answer questions they may have to the best of your ability

My daughter came out last year… she is a 13yr old national figure skater… i love her for accepting her authentic self… most adults cant do that… if somewhere down the lane it changes… then thats fine to… i love her regardless

Some kids will do things to be trendy or for attention. Either she is doing that as you say or she really is gay. If she is doing it for attention, no harm. If she really is gay, again, no big deal. Just support her, don’t judge and time will tell if it’s a phase for her or if in her heart she just knows what’s who she is. Either way, she isn’t hurting anyone so I’d just let it be. She felt safe coming out to you and what you choose to do and how you react will mold any future interactions between the two of you and how much she will trust you with anything else big in her life.

Sexuality is as fluid as it comes. And regardless of whether she’s doing this because she wants to be like her friend or she’s having maybe a feeling she cant explain all she needs to know is that you’re there and you support her no matter what. I wouldn’t recommend crying too much or trying to convince her she’s pretending, there’s no point in that it’s only going to hurt her. Just let her know that you’re there for her and always will be.

She probably knows. My mom thought I couldnt know for sure when i was 13, she said that i was just very close with my friend (the girl i said i had a crush on) and that I dont know what “sexual feelings” are yet. And maybe I didn’t totally know what sexual feelings were, but I knew I liked this girl as more than a friend. I told my mom she was probably right, then I had to come out to her all over again 10 years later when i found myself in a serious relationship with a woman. I identify as bisexual. But I knew I was interested in women when I was pretty young, even if I didnt totally know what that all meant.

Going through phases… They try everything out until they come to realization. Keep it in mind but don’t startle or jump to decisions. Like the mini skirt or hippie clothes… We all had our phases… Parents eating gold fishes or piling in a car or phone booth. Testing the waters I call it… Today marijuana… CBD… Assorted body tattoos… Fantasy hair color… Yeah… Lighting a fire under your feet. But be there when it comes to love no friends drinking and suicide… Pay very close attention. I’ve been there in my phase my children and listening to my grandchildren…

I’d say either way let it be. Be supportive and just unconditional love. I can’t imagine being a preteen/teen in this complicated world where you have to define everything so much deeper.