Don’t analyze it. Embrace her and make sure she knows she is loved and accepted.
I think that this generation has been given the ability to question their sexuality.
It doesn’t matter if it’s a phase or not. Just support her. And kids do tend to follow their peers at that age but sexuality isn’t usually one of those things. Pansexual isn’t the same as gay. Also maybe the friend she’s hanging with is a girl she likes? Maybe why she’s getting into those things.
I think I had a stroke trying to read this
How did you know you were straight? Was it a choice for you? Give your daughter some credit for knowing who she is and love her unconditionally.
It is very simple what you do. Let her find out on her own.
I would just make sure she knows that you’re a safe place to talk and figure things out.
You don’t want her to hit teenage years and go into the closet. Often there is only room for one in that closet and the rest of the world gets shut out.
Just take a breath and love your child no matter what.
Thats for her to figure out. Your job is to just support her in any way she needs and to love her.
What matters is you accept her in all chapters of her life 
Make sure she knows you support her in all “phases” & chapters…
Who cares if it’s a phase or not support your kids in their life
Number 1, God should be first in your life. To do this, you need to follow his word, because he is the only constant in our life that never changes. Seek Jesus first, all else will fall in place. Never forget your eternal life. This life is short…
Let her find it out on her own, but until then just be supportive. If you try to be more involved & constantly tell her it is just a phase & it actually isn’t, she will always resent you for that!
All I can say is accept everything she believes to be true . If not she will swear you did not stand with her like my daughter did now that she is 21 things are much different and she has a boy friend. She still likes girls though only now she is in love lol! Keeping life real and stay happy for her every step of the way or she will rebel.
Another fake story…they all seem to have the same ring…help mama. Stop responding and see how quickly they disappear.
If you didn’t know at 11 that you liked boys or not, I think that’s odd.
Yolo let her play it out and live the truth that feels right to her.
Ignore it and let her find her orientation . It’s not like you can do anything bout anything anyway
Really at 11 shouldn’t be even thinking like that duh
Just keep doing what you are doing and being there when she needs you. You sound like a great parent 
Holy crap! When I was 9 gay meant happy and carefree. I think we have all gone bonkers!!
I’m sure she’s confused right now, she’s young.give it time.
Let her be who she wants. Let her know you’re there if she needs you but this is her journey.
Only time well tell. Just let her work it out and support whatever she chooses.
We have to go back to real parenting. Bi, Pan,Trans, whatever how- do we not expect children to follow “trends” and be confused? I’m confused and annoyed at 50. 11?
whether she makes this decision for now, or for certain - at this age kids are learning who they are, what they like, and yes being like their friends - just support her. let her know that no matter what she decides, you will love her regardless.
Don’t draw attention to anything, just continue loving and supporting her. Things will be how they will be in the end.
She’s 11, let her figure it out for herself in time, just be the anchor point for support x
Who cares if it’s a phase or not? Let her be happy whatever that means and support her!
Its also the trend. But idt you can know fully until u kiss someone.
How did you know you were straight? No one questions straight kids
Pray. Listen and give her your opinion. She too young. Be alert
Same way they know they’re straight, yet nobody questions that.
Let her do her even if it is a phase/because of her friends she will know you supported her regardless and that’s what really matters
Just love and support your kids. It’s not hard y’all.
If your daughter told you she was into boys would you say “how can she know for sure?”
You are doing great Mom. She is loved and safe. What an amazing thing!
I wouldn’t do anything. If it’s a phase it’ll pass
If you make an issue it becomes an issue…I think too young to really know yet! …
Let her figure it out. She’s young. Just be there as support
Let her decide she’s told u just be there for her,
If they can be open with parents-cherish that and keep your door open.
Let her be. Just be there for here.
What are kids this age addressing this matter? It’ s amatter for later!
gee some people should not be fruitful and multiple, never ever
Love her. Just let her talk.
When did you know you were straight? She knows.
How did you know you were straight? Same thing.
Just ride it out and see what happens.
How did you know you weren’t gay?
I would just go with it, my eldest son said he was bisexual when he was around 14, he’s 19 now and knows he’s definitely gay, it’s made no difference at all and he’s just worked it out on his own, I think they all do eventually. I do think there’s a fad going around now though.
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Leave her alone she will find her wsy
11 umyear okds have no idea what their claiming they are
How did you know you was straight ?
My daughter is 11, and has known for as long as she could remember that I’m an ally. In 2nd grade, she had her first girl crush. In 3rd, she said how she was gay. When she was 10, she told me how she still liked boys. I told her it’s ok and that means you’re bi. We have embraced her completely, she has rainbow attire and a bi flag.
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This entire thread breaks my heart. 
Wtf is going on in this World?
Just seen this exact post on a different forum 
I knew I liked girls by the age of 6. I didn’t like boys too until I got older. Her sexuality might change or might stay the same it’s not something you have to be certain about. It doesn’t really much matter. At least I’m not sure why it does to you. If it is because she’s trying to copy someone she’ll figure it out pretty fast when she goes to kiss a girl and finds she either likes it or doesn’t. It’s funny you’re using hobbies to compare it too.
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My eleven year old is I to the anime thing all the sudden and seems like all the anime have relationship things going on and she isn’t even interested in boys or girls but I feel the anime is making her curious about relationships
It doesn’t matter if she knows for sure or not yet, just let her be her for now and eventually she will work out whether it’s a phase or who she is 
I would just let her know that it’s fine to explore and figure out who she is but not put a title on it right now. She doesn’t want to feel pressured by titles or friends… teach her about safe ways to explore. Be open with the conversation. Also tell her no matter what her choices are that you will still love her and support her.
Yeah it’s all so confusing now … I know guys who were always gay ,others who were gay first but then had kids and then went back to being gay but now the same person is not gay anymore …on the other hand I have friends who have tried the "usual " way and realized that they don’t like it after actually experiencing it and stayed gay 
so my personal belief is that you know which you prefer …once you have tried both 
and it must come naturally…but that’s just me
Having said that, you are the 3rd mum who has brought this up… there is a huge drive to push all these different versions of sexuality and you are right in being concerned about whether the interest is influenced… I really don’t have an answer for you … I wish I did. I just know that the world is messed up and not how it used to be…
How did you know you were heterosexual? Sexuality is fluid, some people know exactly what and who they like and others, it changes as time goes on and that’s ok. As long as she knows she is supported and loved, that’s all that matters. I thought I was bisexual when I was 11 cause I knew I found both genders attractive but as I got older I realized pansexual fits me best, it doesn’t matter what you identify as, what’s under the clothes, if I like you, I like you and that’s that 
Does it matter ? At 11 she isn’t going to be sexual active well hopefully not so let her be who she wants to be and if it a phase then it is and if it isn’t then it isn’t.
I also thought I was gay but it took me to be 22 with 2 kids and engaged to man to finallly realise admit it so just support her through anything in the world 
Why the hell does it matter who a little kid has a crush on? Maybe she is just saying she is gay because she has a crush on her friend or she just wants them to think she is cool? She will learn more about herself and sexuality as she grows up. Tell her that you support her and whoever she loves. She is a child, her mind doesn’t have to be concrete yet on who she is, all she was doing was telling you who she thinks she is right now. Maybe in a few years she will realize she is bisexual, or heterosexual and it was just a phase of her friendships. As long as she isn’t sexually active with any adults, just leave it alone. You knowing whether it is a phase or not is unimportant, the only thing that matters is that she knows you love and support her no matter who she has feelings for.
Bi woman here! As soon as I started getting crushes on boys, I had them on girls too. You just know haha Just keep accepting her no matter what as a mother should!
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I was 6 when I knew. Fake liked boys until I was 28!!! All to keep my family happy when I was falling apart. She doesn’t need labels, nobody does. Just let her love who she loves and support her every step of the way
“Pansexual” isn’t exactly gay, it just means you find all humans beautiful regardless of gender, age, weight, body shapes, it’s not even really a sexual thing… at age 11 I wasn’t really sexual but was starting to be curious, I really think these days the gay pride is pushed into kids to be cool or something, but I wasn’t looking for a partner when I was 11, so I think that’s a big decision to make at that age when you’re not sexually active yet, maybe a better to wait,
but thinking about my “gay” friends, they’re pretty confident in their feelings throughout their lives, so I wouldn’t doubt her or say no you can’t be yet, if she really feels that way, embrace her, even if you disagree with your child, you have to learn how to cope with their choices.
Leave her be to sort it out on her own. She’s young. She has her entire life to decide. I wouldn’t worry. It’s just whatever for the day. This is far too much thinking here.
It is what it is. Today, tomorrow, or 10 years from now. Just support her.
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Experimenting is normal. And not all pre-pubescent girls want to have conversations with their parents.
I knew I liked girls when I was like, 8, same with boys. I experimented with both when I was a teenager. Come to find out that I’m more pan than bi- I don’t care what gender you identify with- I’m attracted to a person for who they are. Your soul, your sense of humor, the core of what makes them- them.
People who think it’s asinine for kids to be talking about things like this are the same ones who don’t want to have the birds and bees talk with their kids. Kids, especially in this day and age, have the world at their fingertips- and friends who will answer their questions if you don’t. Talk with them. Let them know you will be loving and supportive- regardless of who they’re attracted to. That is the surefire way to keep them coming to you when they feel the need to talk.
Ask me about it. I have four. I am 99% certain they talk to me about the difficult topics because I don’t shut them down when they bring it up.
People forget that girls get “those” kinds of feelings quite early on… It’s what our body does to prepare us for periods and birth… Sad as it is to say but it’s a fact… Talk to them about feelings they are having keep an open dialogue just don’t ask things you wouldn’t want asked yourself… People think that if we talk to kids about sexuality early on they are gonna run out and become promiscuous. Then we have a bunch of people who have no clue who they are or what they are feeling. If we can’t talk about it openly then we will never learn to find ourselves…
Acceptance and understanding, if it’s a phase then she will let you know when she knows. As for trying things out with her friends and not her parent, that’s normal, don’t take it to heart
Your instincts are right on. While in College there were “Lipstick Lesbians,” where they tried it on…but left it after graduation.
How do you know it’s not? If you support it, you support it even if you don’t understand it. Ask HER why she came to that conclusion. Maybe she will share with you her feelings on it.
I told my daughter at age 12 that if she is that is okay. I love and support her no matter what. But that I think she is too young to put that label on herself and that I reccomend she do a little more growing and discovering who is she before she just decides she this one thing.
How did you know you liked boys at that age. Its just one of the natural things you can’t explain but just know
They know what and who they are in the same way you know what you aren’t. It’s not for you to understand or question.
Support her.
She’ll figure it out. They’re ALL something these days…it’s the “in” thing. 
We moved back to my hometown and after starting school my daughter came home, grandly announced that she was “bi”…and wanted me to meet her “new girlfriend”.
“Whatever, your sexuality is your business and your choice…at least I know you won’t get knocked up!” I told her.
Followed by “As for your girlfriend…I’m sure she’s a very nice girl and all…but I’m sorry, I can’t allow the two of you to date.”
“But WHY?!?” they exclaimed, completely devastated.
“Because we don’t date our COUSINS!!! Allow me to introduce you to my cousin Crystal’s daughter…which makes you cousin’s, as well!!”
Sigh I love telling that story!! 
FYI…she’s had a few boyfriend since then. You really don’t need to overthink things. lol
I’m bi and I told my mom that in middle school and she said she didn’t believe me, kind of like you’re doing. I’m still bi. And my mom and I simply don’t talk about it because she thought it was a phase and I didn’t want to deal with the convo ever again
my 9 year old granddaughter is like that with fads…I think the most important thing you can do is let her know that you will always be in her court and she can change her mind [in case it is a phase] and it will be fine. I get confused, I am older, but when I was at school I don’t remember knowing about being gay until I was much older…now I wonder how many kids did I go to school with who were always having to be in hiding…knowing you are there and in her corner is a big thing.
I don’t have a problem with that but let me explain in about 20 sentences why I have a problem with that lmao
She is too young to know that
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Wonder how many comments here was wrote by people with degrees in psychology or mental health… also brings up the question if the comments was opinionated and worded to excuse or defend themselves and their opinions. Kind of like when you tell yourself things to feel better. You start telling others the same things as a coping method.
I knew by the third grade that I was definitely not straight lmfao
Would this be a question if she said she was straight?
Be supportive let her grow up. Regrettably far to many children are indoctrinated to bueve that they have to make a decision about thier sexual identity no matter their age or maturity. Why can’t the LGBTQ groups understand this?. Let kids be kids. There is plenty of time to make mistakes and corrections later in life.
Just stay out of it. You did all you were supposed to. The rest is her story
Just be supportive and let her figure it out herself.
That’s for her to figure out and for you to support while she explores.
Same. Now she’s 17 w long term boyfreind
Counseling! Change of place earliest
My question is would this parent “worry” if the kid said they were straight? No. It’s not a phase, it’s not “trying to be cool”, some people are gay.
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How did you know you were straight and not just doing it because your friends were?
Because you knew yourself better than anyone else.
Just like she does.
Maybe it’s not her doing it to be trendy.
Maybe it’s her identifying because previously she didn’t have the ability to connect her feelings with the term.
Trust her.
Even if it changes later, sexuality and understanding it is a journey.
The first 16 years of my life I identified as straight. All I knew is I also secretly really liked girls. But I didn’t really have the terminology until then to identify myself as bi.
Now I know that I’m sapphic bisexual. I lean towards preference for women, but I’m married to a man whom I love very much.
Sexuality is NOT at all so straight laced thing.
But I promise you, if you diminish her understanding of herself rn by suggesting she’s following her friend, she probably will not trust you in the future to tell you things like this.
Don’t think of it as trying to be cool. Think of it as her trying on that identity for size. Maybe it’ll fit and that will be it.
Maybe she’ll find she’s bisexual. Or maybe she’ll find that she’s biromantic but asexual. Or aromantic. Or any of a million different identities. Or more than one.
Hell, I’m 30, and I’m still discovering.
I say bi right now, but I’ve been leaning more towards demisexual, and found that I’m she/her, they/them. Not just she/her.
Just trust her. Let her take the lead on this journey. All you have to do is love her regardless, and it sounds like you already do that well. <3
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This upsets me because you wouldn’t be questioning if “it was a phase” if she was talking about a boy at school.
So why are you questioning if “it’s a phase” when she likes girls.
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Why do you have to “do” anything? Just support her if it’s a phase like you think then she will grow out of it, if not then she won’t. What does it matter if it’s a phase or not?
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Sexuality is a journey and she is still young. My friend also introduced us to “being bisexual” but our whole friend group dated both after that, and I wouldn’t consider anyone’s Sexuality as a phase, even though I don’t think some of them date women now, they still like women and dated them in the past.
She’s 11. Just let her be a kid. Children r easily influenced at that age. Me personally would just be like “ok honey, that’s fine with me.” It’s either a phase or a copying a friend or she could really be gay. Doesn’t change anything for me no matter the direction she goes. Just support her and move on. 
Just let her ride it out, I used to be the town lesbian now my brain tells me I’m a dude and I’m married to a man. Sometimes we say we’re one thing when we could be another, there’s no real way to know if it’s true until they figure it out themselves
Attention… That’s all she wants.
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