You don’t know where the door is???
2 Likes
My Mother left my Father in 1959 for this same reason, i was 3. I never saw him again until I was 19. Nothing had changed. Get out while you can. He needs help, and only he can do it.
1 Like
Go to an Alanon meeting and meet other people who are the family of alcoholics.
Couldn’t be me!! 
You already know what to do!
13 years I went through this. I wouldnt leave. He got killed in a car wreck. I am now remarried to a wonderful man who treats me right. I regret the years I spent with my ex.
Uh leave, he’s gaslighting you and you don’t deserve it and neither do your kids
Get rid of him or if you have some where to go leave as soon as you can
You leave…that’s what you do.
I’ll put this plain. It won’t get any better, so LEAVE. I don’t care if you love him, LEAVE. He’s abusive. A drunken abuser is an abuser, period. It’s not the alcohol, it’s HIS BASIC PERSONALITY COMING THROUGH. He’s saying exactly what he’s thinking while he’s sober, the booze is just an excuse
1 Like
Leave red flag call dv
Men like him project all their hated qualities on to others they especially like to put people down who are better than them because it makes them feel good to see you suffer and doubt yourself, loving them more only gives them more power you need to distance yourself from him stop doing everything you’d normally do for him are focus on yourself and building yourself back up he’s the problem not you he just needs you to think you are.
Figure out a way to leave
He isn’t worth your grief. He isn’t wonderful even when not drinking because he isn’t doing anything about his addiction. LEAVE.
Life is to short to live unhappy. You will be proud of yourself later. No one deserves to be treated that way. It may seem hard now … The pay off is rewarding. You know what to do. You got this!!
1 Like
He is a narcissistic drunk. You have 3 options 1. tell him he needs rehab and to quit drinking or your leaving if he doesn’t. 2. Just leave you desever more then he has to offer anyway 3. Do nothing and let him continue on this path of tearing you down and blinding you from your true worth… Obviously us telling you to leave isnt going to make you leave. So I will say I hope you choose the option that is best for you and your family
2 Likes
leave him or kick him out until he joins AA and stops drinkin
Bottom line… He hates himself.
Stop doing for him, make an exit plan
No amount of good behavior is enough for me to put up with that. I’d say you go get you that stripper honey. Don’t come back.
Why put up with that??? 
You know EXACTLY what to do!!!
2 Likes
And your still there
You leave. That’s what you do.
2 Likes
Oh I would be so out if you have some one to stay with I leave if not make a plan to get out as soon as you can it’s not worth your life get need more help then you can give it only gets worse
1 Like
What you’re not changing, you’re choosing. Right now, you’re choosing to stay until you choose to leave. He’s not going to change, so you’re going to have to. Get your ducks in a row and GTFO.
4 Likes
Leave, you’ll see how much you can blossom without the negativity❤
It won’t change until you leave or he chooses sobriety. You can’t make him stop. I am 2 years out of this bs and it finally ended when he got physical, and the neighbours called the cops. 1 year no contact order slapped on him. Kids and I moved out of province
2 Likes
Look at yourself, you have succeeded where he failed. Know your worth. Tell him to sober up or get out.
Get your money up and leave. I wouldn’t even give him notice. Just go and let him take care of it all by himself.
LEAVE
That’s what you do, you leave. You put yourself first, stop accepting his behavior in the name of love, get some therapy (it takes A LOT), and live your life. Right now he chooses alcohol and abusive behaviors, and himself what do you choose?
I hope you choose a peaceful heart and fulfilling life free from him.
1 Like
Move on. Or make an ultimatum either he stops drinking and saves his marriage or stops his marriage to save his drinking. Guaranteed if you show him you accept it once he will keep on doing it.
1 Like
Run and fast. Try to get him to go to AA. If not tell him you’re leaving before he hurts you physically.
That’s the hard part about loving an addict. They deflect all accusations and avoid accountability so they can remain in active addiction.
It’s not narcissism. They feel guilt and emotions. They just can’t control the addiction.
Honestly, the best thing you can do for him is stop enabling him. Let him hit rock bottom. Serve him with eviction papers and put a protection order against him. Make him be a homeless alcoholic. See what happens then.
2 Likes
You have tried, now leave him.
Whats the next level of his alcoholism? Physical abuse? Dont stick around to find out
2 Likes
Either leave or stay that’s up too you
Know your worth
Ppl treat you how you allow them to. Not blaming you but if his an alcoholic, can’t keep a job etc. WHAT DOES HE BRING TO THE TABLE??
I can’t imagine much!
Do you have kids? Are they watching this nasty behavior, thinking it’s okay to treat your spouse this way? What if you have daughters? Do you want them to grow up, excepting an abusive partner?
I’d start a plan on how to leave. Sounds like he would be the one to go because he can’t afford shit jobless. Ring in the new year with the badass you are and take the trash to the curb!!!
Typical alcoholic blames other person. It won’t change it will get worse, you should leave now before you lose your sanity.
1 Like
Every one is giving you basically the same advice. It may not be what you WANT to hear, but it’s what you NEED to hear.
You need to have a good look in the mirror. If you are not happy, then make an exit plan. If you have kids, I want you to really think “is this how I want them to view a relationship? Is this good for their health?” If the answers are no, you need to leave. It will be HARD, but you can and will be able to do it.
1 Like
You have 2 choices 1: stay and be an ass and be constantly abused or 2: leave, start a better life for yourself, he’s not gonna stop drinking for you
Know your worth. What would you say if you had a daughter asking you these questions.
2 Likes
Record it so when it’s time for the divorce you have some ground to stand on.
2 Likes
Pray. Know that this is not your husband talking and it’s the alcohol. Anoint your home and pray,pray pray. Do not give up. I understand exactly how hard it can be. You love him, then do not give up on your marriage. You are strong and understand what he says is absolutely not true and this is the devil trying to steal your marriage. Take back what’s yours. Find outside help, someone who has been through this that can help more. My church is amazing and always has people for help and support. I’ll pray for you and your husband
It’s time to leave … he’s abusing you big time
2 Likes
I feel you ! so sad when they turn to booze, hurts all you have worked for. Name calling is the worse. we start to believe that we are the problem. Booze kills the soul. xo, If you are able to leave you should. It will be good for your soul.
1 Like
When I read these, I try to give advice about working things out- but this- no, you need to leave.
I’m all for drinking. But if he can’t handle his emotions while drunk, he shouldn’t be drinking and since he’s already let you know how awful you are (which I’m sure you’re wonderful), then do yourself a favor and leave him.
1 Like
Oh no no no. No way in hell I’ll ever put up with an alcoholics abuse again. Not ever. Nope. You answered your own question. He berated you to make himself feel better about his own short miserable existence. You cannot fix someone that won’t fix themselves and it absolutely won’t get better no matter how hard you try or what you change. Walk away.
He’s abusive and you need to leave before it escalates. Talk to lawyers and file, collect your proof, therapy, job and childcare or necessary. Even talk with a domestic shelter for a plan to leave.
Time to walk away ,stop being his co dependent,make him grow up
Abuse and disrespect. Leave!
File for divorce. Make him leave the home. My experience with drunks when they are drunk they speak the truth about their feelings he provably resents you for working at home and him not beeping able to hold a job. No one deserves to be told they are worthless and that is verbal abuse which will lead to physical abuse. My ex husband was the same way toward me when we were together I am disabled because of one drunken attack he destroyed my back.
Leave. You don’t need or deserve that bs
My ex was just like this. I didn’t want to leave him…oh, I didn’t want to leave him, but things ended up becoming so bad it wasn’t really my choice anymore, and now I wish I’d left him when it still fully was.
Let his sorry ass go!
You leave. That’s what you do. Get the hell out and save yourself!
1 Like
Oh my, anyone who is mean when drinking, is just faking nice while sober.
Go talk to a divorce lawyer and have yourself and kiddos setup to leave.
You can give him an option (ultimatum) to get help with whatever issues (mental or whatver) he has or you are leaving, but only if there isn’t any threat or history of physical violence.
But if you are the bread winner and not financially reliant on him, leave him sooner than later. It’s better to be alone and take care of your babies in a healthy environment than to be abused and show your babies its okay for him to treat you that way.
3 Likes
It’s divorce time, why are you allowing it to continue?
You know exactly what to do.! Put him out or leave!!! Nasty drunks at speak their truth
1 Like
He gets sober or you leave
Leave…its time to go.Its never going to get better.
3 Likes
It’s simple… Leave don’t walk run
2 Likes
pls leave if you’re able!!
RUN DON’T WALK.
Mental abuse Never goes away. Bruises do.
EITHER WAY GET THE HELL OUT…
1 Like
I was married to someone just like that and it’s so nice and peaceful on the outside I finally left after 21 years and life is too short to be so unhappy after I left its So so much calmer. You can do it.
1 Like
This is a him problem not a you problem. If he doesn’t get help things will never change and if you don’t say tell him to either get help or your outta there he will continue his toxic behavior! I know it’s hard but it has to be done give him the ultimatum either get help or we are done and then actually do it! Otherwise you will be defeated all the time and life is too short to spend with an ass with as drink in hand 
Ever thought about recording him while he’s doing that? Play it when he’s sober. And leave.
4 Likes
Move out. Cut off contact unless and until he gets MAJOR help with his addiction and his behavior. That’s at least a year’s worth of intensive therapy. Don’t accept that bullshit treatment. Pack your bags today and go wherever you have to go.
I’ve been there!! For me it didn’t get any better. He’s mean and verbally abusive to you, he doesn’t work. What do you need him for? He’s taking all the happiness and everything good from your life. I was always told a drunk speaks the truth!!
1 Like
Run run far and fast and never look back
1 Like
he’s obviously talking about himself and reflecting it on you unfortunately
he needs help with his drinking and you need to leave. plus he needs to deal with the rest of his stress and anxiety in his life in a healthy manner- not by drinking it away. you deserve better- don’t give him the power to destroy you and waste your life.
And ur not worthless or a piece of trash that thing u call a husband is tho xx
Leave. If you can’t, have him removed. This is escalating. And your literally gonna wind up dead. So get the hell out while you still can
1 Like
The only good advice is… and I speak from experience, is either you leave or he leaves. No one should live with that abuse. please put yourself first. Love yourself enough to get out of that situation. Move on
This sounds like my ex, it turned into him bashing me physically in the middle of the night, till I was unconscious, and he drove off with our very young baby, while under the influence, police had to bring the baby back to me, ended up super nasty court battle for 3 years, and a tonne of abuse and death threats, till he was forced to get clean, or have no access to our child, once he was sober, life got better for both of us.
Leave… Like today! It isn’t going to change, it will only get worse. You deserve much better.
1 Like
WOMEN RUN. Leave please. Or kick him out. Just get away. Next will be you getting physically hury.
3 Likes
Easy decision. You have a good chat with him and tell him no more alcohol or you are done. He needs to choose. If he chooses you, then he needs to also go into a 12 step program. You should also join a group for those that deal with alcoholics.
Refuse to be his verbal punching bag any longer. You deserve better.
If there are kids involved, kick him out until he can prove himself. Break the cycle now.
2 Likes
GTFO…he’ll only get worse and treat you worse!
2 Likes
LEAVE ASAP, he will never change and you are wasting your life! You deserve to be happy!
1 Like
Tell him there the door good luck with the stripper that’s emotional abuse
Divorce. Stat!
They don’t change. No matter how much they say they will. No matter how bad you want to believe it. He. Won’t. Change.
Believe me when I tell you, to gtfo! Don’t allow someone to waste any more of you precious time on this planet. You deserve to ve loved the same way that you love!
1 Like
Leave until or unless he gets sober and then make him do the work to get back in your marriage. His stress doesn’t make it ok to says that shit to u
Why women put up with men like this I will never understand.To say I don’t know what to do…, Leave before you become his punching bag.
3 Likes
Yeah… that totally qualifies as family violence 
There’s no question you have to love yourself enough to say enough!!!
Does he remember the next day? If not,record him.
1 Like
This sounds SO similar to my ex. Except it slowly moved into getting in my face, pushing his finger into my chest and screaming with his face literally pressed into mine, to actual physical abuse to doing it infront of my son. Honey, my advice is leave. Just rip the bandaid off and get OUT. He will freak. Say sweet things, say awful things. I caved two separate times and went back because when he was sober, he was my dream man. Drinking though, turned him into satan himself.
I will say this though. I’m two years out from that mess and the verbal abuse haunts me still to this day. More than the physical. What he is doing to you will mess with your head. You should not put up with this. That is NOT the right kind of love…or even love at all!
Why are you still ther
3 Likes
Dude. He sounds like a major loser. I would divorce the ass.
Have you ever thought of stopping what you always do for him and let him see what you truly do for him? Honey try it. Then when he says you do nothing he will know truly why you Do Nothing…… good luck
1 Like
I will never understand why people tolerate this. Let my husband call me stupid one damned time and see what happens. You are worth more. You deserve more.
That’s abuse. I would ask him to leave or call the cops to have him removed. I would never tolerate a drunk cuz it will only get worse…run and don’t look back. When he’s sober don’t forgive I don’t understand why women do that, love yourself first and know your worth!
2 Likes
He’s a narcissist, things will get worse. If you can get out then get out.
1 Like
AlAnon (for spouses and family) would really help you.
1 Like
Run before you end up on first 48
3 Likes
His words towards you are a big reflection of himself. He needs some help. Maybe try couples counseling. Don’t let his words get you down. Please.
1 Like
Typical drunk narcissist! Boot him out!!!
1 Like
So my fiance is a recovering alcoholic. I left him, couldn’t deal with it anymore after 5 years. He did an outpatient rehab program for over a year. He had to show me he wanted this family. He became very verbally abusive during fights when he was drinking.
Simple. It’s you or the alcohol. You see him drunk again, get a divorce.
1 Like
Leave him… that how he feels, but doesn’t speak it until he is on that liquid courage!!!