My husband is an alcoholic, and is wonderful when he’s sober but horrible when he’s drinking. Well lately he’s been under a lot of stress and drinking non stop. Well the other night he was being hateful then nice. So we’re laying there and he wanted me to rub his hair which I did and then told him I had to use the restroom as I still wasn’t feeling good. Well that set him off and he started bashing me telling me I’m worthless, stupid, a bitch, how I don’t even turn him on anymore and he’ll go screw a stripper because at least they know what they’re doing, how I’m to stupid and lazy to get a job outside of the house (I work from home) but yet he won’t hold a job down. He tells me I can’t do anything right or won’t do anything for him, yet I wash his clothes, make his plates, food, and whatever. He says I’m the problem of why we fight, that if I would just shut up things would be fine (when I try to state something I get told to shut up or I’m trying to flip it to him and not see that I’m a piece of crap). I honestly don’t know what to do anymore and feel so defeated.
Leave. He needs a Mommy, not a wife. AA might help too.
Sounds like a typical narcissist to me. 
He needs to give up the drink or you need to get out of there
Leave. You deserve better. He’s narcissistic and manipulative
Stop putting in effort let him be a dum dum by his self
Either he gets help or you leave.
Only 2 options…
You deserve better and he does too.
Freak the fuck out on him and make him leave!!!
Get out as in NOW!
You deserve better and sometimes better is alone
It’s not going to get any better, you’re his wife not his slave or his mother
Get out simple as that
Honey he needs to go!
Ive been with alcoholic i my experience he would have never changed. You deserve better sis. Also try to leave while hes gone to wk or somewhere. That will be a fight too
U can get a stripper too lol
Leave! You are in control of yourself not him! Do NOT give him power to make you feel those ways or belittle you! You can do it! Seek a counselor if need help leaving 
You think he’s going to wake up one day and change? No. Leave.
What do you mean you don’t know what to do do? You better get out of that situation now!
Walk away. That’s the best thing you can do for yourself. He will never be happy. You are wasting your time.
Love …
Let him go! I’ve been in your situation and it’s not worth it …
He either needs to improve himself for you or you make the choice to leave.
No one should have to endure verbal abuse … it plays with your mind
I was always told drunk words are sober thoughts. Leave him. You deserve so much better. Narcissist really know how to make others always seem like they’re wrong when in fact it’s themselves. He is unhappy with his life that he has to be so hateful to you so he feels better about himself. Just leave and don’t look back.
He is stating what he really feels about himself. Leave before he hurts you and or your children. He needs help,but he is the only one who can do that.
Sadly this is what alcoholics do. Its never their fault and always yours.
You can stay and try to help him get sober but if he wont admit he has a drink problem thats a waste of your life.
If hes willing to admit hes an alcoholic, stop drinking and attend meetings/therapy…theres a chance you can still rebuild your relationship.
Best decision I made was taking my child and getting a new life as a single mom …it saved his life. He got sober and we tried again
Dont put up with his behaviour. You already work from home so find somewhere else to live.
His drinking is not your fault…
Best way to help an alcoholic is leaving. They won’t change. They are so damn rude, won’t keep a job, won’t attempt to get back their license, tell lies about themselves or other people, gamble real bad when they have the chance, make you go broke, take someone’s shit an sell it and say are they are the victim. At least that’s my experience with one 
Leave him.He will not change you cant make him stop drinking.Everything he has said to you.Sorry leave now dont let the door hit you twice.
Go be happy on your own…So sad to read this.You deserve better.
What an @ssh*le!! Please leave him. You don’t deserve this.
On top of him being an alcoholic, he also sounds like he’s a narcissist. Ive been down that path 13 years ago, was the worst 2.5 years of my life. He ruined me as a person, left while i was pregnant, leaving me to raise my Son alone. It took me a long time to recover from all the verbal and eventually, physical abuse that I endured because of him. I suggest to run. Leave as fast as you can. There’s really no saving him, since he can’t see where the REAL problems are. Don’t waste anymore of your life with someone who cannot see your worth, because eventually, you won’t be able to see it either. Save yourself.
He’s delusional because of the alcohol. Unless he stops drinking and changes his attitude it won’t get any better…
What would you tell your daughter?
He won’t change until he wants to. As long as you stay, he has no reason to.
So, film his behavior & play it back when he’s sober, then tell him that her either gets treatment or he needs to leave.
Go to AL Anon. They will help you live your life either with or without him.
Insecure,narcissistic asshole he don’t get help now ! Leave him sounds like you are the provider without you he will have nothing! No one deserves this !
Bye bye to the man 
My husband called me a bitch 1 time in the 10 yrs we’ve been together, I made it clear that was unacceptable and he respects my boundary… it’s almost as if he loves me and wants to see me happy
You deserve better, you do not deserve abuse, I lived it for years, stress is just an excuse, give him an ultimatum and stick to it, either stop and get help, or you’re out of there, my ex drank for years, was both physically and emotionally abusive, I left him, he did get sober, sad thing is after he got sober I realized I didn’t know the man I had given years of my life to, good luck dear, you can do it or accept possibly years off abuse, your choice 
Leave the jerk. They don’t change it only gets worse been
Leave 
you don’t deserve to be abused
Please leave, it’s not your fault hes an alcoholic and you dont deserve the abuse. I’m so sorry you are going through this.
Walk away. Kids pick up on it all. I’ve my kids full time as had remove from the dad as an abusive alcoholic and addict. I stayed 11 years. Its deliberating on your health also I’ve just been diagnosed with ME. It’s exhausting and doesn’t get better, it gets worse as they know you’ll stay and take it.
Leave your worth more so much more
Time to leave… alcohol reveals the truths that go unspoken… if he says it while drunk… he means it. 
That man’s a piece of shit, straight up. And those men will never stop treating women so horribly until ALL the women decide to stop putting up with it, including strippers. They’re never gonna change until there is no women who want them, and no strippers for them to pay, and no porn for them to use to get themselves off. It all comes down to the women and when they stop letting men use them.
Girl, you are wasting your time on someone who doesn’t really love you, when you are drunk the truth comes out!!! Someone is out there waiting to love you! Get out!! He doesn’t deserve you!! Good luck
It’s called mirrored image. I dealt with this with someone for years. They blame you for all the insecurities they carry within themselves. Somewhat narcissistic. Alcohol addiction is extremely hard to overcome and sadly even if they become sober, long term, they still have alcoholic tendencies. My best to you whatever decision you make. 
Well you have to understand that you are in a abusive relationship first of all and he is controlling you you need to get help for yourself to decide what your next step should be
U work, stop buying his alcohol!!
Nah don’t tell him to get help just leave he isn’t worth your time or energy I was with a addict for 2 yrs they don’t change unless they want to
Yeah for 6 years my ex husband did that too, and he ended up trying to kill me and currently has felony strangulation charges pending in court. It doesn’t get better it gets worse. Get out while you can. You can’t make someone change and they won’t change if they don’t want too
You need to leave. His description of you sounds like he was describing himself
Sounds like he is battling severe depression and anxiety and he’s projecting his insecurities and flaws into you. I’m not saying your husband is a bad person, but sounds like he has some narcissistic tendencies and is trying to manipulate you into staying at his level. My best advice is to really nurture yourself when he’s like this and ignore him almost like he doesn’t even exist. Totally grey-rock his ass. Give him an ultimatum (only do this when you’re SERIOUS and when he’s sober, not drunk.) I’m praying for you.
Ps- don’t wait forever for someone to change. Give yourself and him a deadline. Let’s say, 6 months— so June. If he doesn’t have his shit together or at least attempting to make efforts in changing… run and never look back! Someone who genuinely cares about their partner & family will try their hardest to make their feelings heard and values respected. Stay strong.
Get out while you can or he seeks help then you may stay
Love yourself more and walk away… you can’t cure an alcoholic
You do not deserve to be abused.
Those boots are make for walking. Get to stepping
Speaking as a ex alcoholic n still married to one.as long as you continue to stay,n allow him to speak, n treat you like shit.n make you feel worthless, n you keep forgiving him .BELIEVE ME HE WILL CONTINUE N IT WILL GET WORSE.
pack his clothes put out side and lock the door,
My ex was just like that. Leave him. It only gets worse
It will only get worse from there. Always. Start thinking of ways to save money without him knowing and stay alert. He’s using alcohol as a way to escape his responsibilities and blame you for him not being able to do them. That’s on him not you. Best of luck with what you decide. Just know that you can live without him and you deserve a lot better than him.
Run girl, run like the wind and don’t look back!!!
The marriage is over
Leave. Leave. Leave. You deserve to be treated well and that doesn’t mean making yourself miserable for a piece of shit that doesn’t deserve you. Leave. Stand up for yourself and go.
I’m so sorry but you are in an abusive relationship.I grew up with an alcoholic parent and uncle I can tell you that an alcoholics always tell the truth. I watched many fights and arguments between my parents and aunt and uncle it’s not ever good…You need to get rid of him bc he doesn’t seem to be trying to stop and it’s only going to get worse you deserve better…
Make a plan…tell only close friends. Then if you truly love him offer rehab and help or your gone. If he gets abusive instill your plan. If he doesn’t mind leave
He’s gaslighting you. You could physically see him do something, and he will turn it around to make it your fault. He’s abusive and manipulating you. This is NOT your fault. What is your fault, is keeping yourself and your children in that environment. I assume you have brought the issue up to him before, and it hasn’t solved anything. What that says is that he doesn’t love you, your children or himself enough to get sober. So, you can either stay and endure the mental and verbal abuse, and wait for it to escalate to physical abuse, or you can leave. I do hope that you choose to leave, for the sake of your well being and mental health as well as that of any children. In the mean time, stop doing for him. He obviously doesn’t appreciate or value what you do for him, so stop. If he tells you that you’re worthless and useless, show him worthless and useless. When you do laundry, do yours and leave his. When you cook, make enough just for you and the children. When you’re cleaning, clean your own mess and leave his. While doing all of that, set yourself up with an exit plan. Leave and don’t look back. And I PROMISE you that if he tells you he will change, you’re just setting yourself up. He may change… for a week or two, but then it’ll be back to exactly how it is right now. That’s how abusers keep control over those that they abuse.
A drunk person speaks with a sober mind unfortunately
See a lawyer. Change the locks when he is out of the house and tell him you want a divorce. No one should allow anyone to treat them like that. It is the alcohol speaking his truth.you deserve better.
I’d give him an ultimatum!!! He gets help and gets clean or he gets out… you are enough!!! Don’t ever let anyone make you feel otherwise x
LEAVE! You deserve way more than that! This post really got under my skin because I had an ex that acted like him. If it didn’t revolve around him his narcissistic ways would just rain down on me and just like you made me feel defeated. You can’t make people like such happy. Remember you happiness matter, you’re worth more than the treatment you are receiving! My advice is Stop doing everything you do for him and leave. Occupy your time with things that make you happy and continue to boss up! Verbal abuse is real too hunny
Do you want to be living like this when you are 70? Leave now and make a better life.
Get out with your life while you can hun, Hes an adult and he should know if he cant stay decent while hes drinking he needs to not drink alcohol, there is no excuse for this behaviour of his. You are not at fault here love, you are most definitely not the failure in this sitiation at all its him hes the problem and drunk body is the truthful mind that speaks out. I dont think this is a safe situation at all hes being very emotionally,verbally and mentally abusive and that is never okay and shouldnt ever be tolerated.
Leave. He’ll either get sober and fix things or he won’t. If you stay he has no consequences and will continue to drink. No amount of history or love will make him get and stay sober. It’s his decision and his battle. You take care of you.
You have the choice to stay or leave. If you choose to stay, you can’t be surprised or hurt or upset when the ride on the carousel doesn’t stop.
That’s a real easy one-GO NOW!!
My dad is an abusive alcoholic, I’ve been thru way more abuse from an alcoholic than one should . I know how they can be.
This is your husbands personal battle and there is nothing you can do besides direct him to a rehab. No matter how bad you want him to get better.
Alcoholism is not a quick fix , it’s a terribly long journey, usually taken years to get sober if they get sober at all.
Please do not weigh yourself down with his demons or take his abuse any longer .
I never suggest someone to “leave “ on these post bc leaving is easy advice to give to anyone and sometimes we can’t just “ leave “
But this one you should get out of , if you can’t leave then make him get out . You don’t want years of this .
There’s nothing wrong with you and you’re doing nothing wrong, other than putting up with abusive behavior. He accuses you of the things he hates about himself. It’s too painful for him to face his perceived failures so he blames you instead as he thinks you’re strong enough to take it.
Get out. Tell him once he has been to therapy to learn to like himself better, and once he has joined AA or another program and gotten sober you will return to him. Keep your word and hold him to at least 6 months of sobriety before you return.
Having said this, he may choose his addiction over you, so be prepared for that. If you have kids together, get them up in therapy and allow only supervised visits.
Use tough love you can’t keep enabling him
Leave! Tell him that he needs help and you are gone.
What the fuck!!!???
That’s horrible!!
Divorce his drunk ass.
As a wife of a recovering addict/alcoholic… there isn’t anything you can do or say to change him. I’m sure he is a wonderful sober man, but the issue here is that he has no plans to be in recovery and sober.
My heart goes out to you, but it’s time to leave the marriage and move forward. He may turn his life around…. But he may also choose not to. Either way you don’t deserve to be subjected to that.
Leave. You’ll never be able to enjoy life with him.
Get out. You don’t have to live like that at all. Kick him to the curb.
Divorce and get the hell out now
Is this even a question ?
He’s reflecting his worthlessness onto you.
Sweetie, you need to leave. He’s an alcoholic. He’s an abusive alcoholic. You deserve better. Your child or children deserve better. He’s mentally, verbally and emotionally abusing you. Abuse is abuse. Your kids don’t need to see that or hear that. Leave and don’t look back.
Girl! Throw that whole damn man away! That man is emotionally abusing you & gaslighting you. Run!! You deserve better!
I find it interesting how so many run from problems. 90 percent of you are quiters. Talk him into counseling. Don’t give up on him. If you are not in danger. Encourage him. Maybe that’s his problem the world gives up on people to easily.
Get out I know someone who went though this he will only get worse
He needs to end his drinking problems or you will have to leave that situation. I’m sorry. 
Leave or kick him out he will never change and has probably already cheated
He deserves to get served divorce papers 
Everything he is saying to you, he feels about himself. It’s called projection. And you don’t deserve it.
Oh that’s a quick answer I’d be outta there asap, that’s an an easy one. Why would you want to stick around to be put down every chance he gets, you deserve so much better. Just think you could be with someone that treats you like a human being. 
Well you dont really need our opinion do you🤷♀️
Find a place to go and leave. I’m so sorry you have been in this painful position. Being alone is way better than Being abused mentally. You deserve better.
You’re being abused. Leave… I know it’s hard to do, but leave for yourself, for your children…. Be safe and Merry Christmas
You know what to do girl
He quits drinking or you need to leave. I’d leave period if my husband spoke to me like that but I know it’s easy to say that when not in the situation. Sending hugs. He needs to go to therapy and quit drinking. Talking to you that way is completely out of line and abuse
A drunk man’s words are a sober man’s thoughts. No stripper would have him.
Leave. It won’t get any better.
Sounds like he was talking to HIMSELF.