As I sit here, currently 5am with a coffee and my vape I’m realizing I’m falling into depression. I’m a very overweight girl, have been my entire life. I have lost and gained weight so much over the years and before I had my daughter I got to 94 kilos down from 123 kilos… my husband and I were separated at the time and though I loved him and wanted to work on things with him I was FEELIN myself per say. I lived in a little house with my 5yo son and life was falling into place. We decided to give our marriage one last go with promises and commitments. We moved into our new house a year ago and found out we were expecting our second child (conceived while not together, and on contraception). Despite our initial shock and overwhelming feeling of emotions we were quite happy as the pregnancy progressed. Right now my daughter is 5 months old and though I love her dearly and could not ever imagine not having her in my life, I am absolutely over having another baby my weight is now 110 kilos, my husband’s promises have never seen the light of day and having a baby that is constantly challenging my emotions has put so much pressure on my mental health… We are moving to our new home that my parents helped us purchase in less than two weeks and I am no longer excited. I am depressed about my weight, my marriage and having a baby. I’ve had shitty thoughts during the day like wishing I could turn back the clock. Then get massive mum guilt because I love her so much I am defeated and find myself crying on a daily basis because of these factors. And not being in love with my husband anymore is making me resent him but I still want to keep trying. I really don’t know what to do and feel like I need a rant, sorry for the long read.