She is still a child herself and is probably looking for adult guidance to navigate the male in her life. Best wishes
I would have a relationship with her for the sake of the children. At the end of the day, itās not any of the kids problem. But thatās their sibling and I think itās nice of her to still want them to have a relationship especially after the abuse. She could just say āscrew if I want nothing to do with him or his sideā but sheās not. At least attempt it and if it doesnāt work, at least you can say you triedš
How old is he? Doesnāt that make him a predator
Please allow it. My sisters and I didnāt get to bond with our younger sister from another mom (estranged father) until she was 12 and we were 15 and 16. While we have a close relationship now, I sure wish we could have memories from childhood too.
Honestly, stay in contact. Iām in a similar situation.
2 kids of mine, 1 with other girl. (mine are 8 and 5, hers 7 months). Bio dad and second girl are technically together, but itās alot easier being her friend than an enemy. The kids will grow up knowing their sibling. Biodad sure as hell doesnāt see them, but me and her try to get kids together at least once a week. If sheās not a druggie or bad influence on the kids mental health, Iād be all for the kids having a relationship. Itās weird water to navigate, but eventually youāll find a groove for you two.
Let the siblings have contact PLEASE. I met my sister when I was 17 and she was 16 and we can never get that time back.
That is a tough situation especially if she knew He was in a relationship with you but on the other hand none of the kids should be punished and they should know each other I was just tread lightly with herļæ¼ļæ¼
17 is still a child, your ex certainly knew better. I would stay in touch with her so they can see their sibling, are your kids old enough to understand?
It could be to get back at him on her part or her is trying to arrange it so he can show up at the meeting
Iām sorryā¦ first offā¦ how old is he if she is 17??? Is there a dramatic age difference? I feel for all of youā¦ but it isnāt the childrenās fault ā¦ itās your kids dad
Let the kids see their sibling? Itās not their fault. Whatās the issue? Her age is irrelevant here. It has to do with the kids. Not her age.
Maybe sheās hoping youll guide her in some sort of way. Being a mom young is hard, being a young mom under her circumstances is even harder.
If your willing to meet them in public places only I say there is no harm in it the kids should know the sibling. My dad was a p.o.s I still wish I knew my brother and sister from other women
It is not the childās fault at all, its the parents. But since heās not living with you and yāall arenāt married, Iām not sure Iād be ok with them getting to know each other, unless the dad has the kids in his care and wants to have them together, but I wouldnāt try to do it if itās just you, unless the kids get older or are older like 16+ and want to be involved in that childās life. Donāt stress over it nor deal or worry about that right now. And I find it kinda crazy that she would talk to you about that right now and she hasnāt even had the child, but then again she is 17.
have a relationship with her and welcome her. if she is 17 and left a DV situation that speaks volumes. sheās strong. the siblings deserve to know each other. in my opinion.
Iād keep in contact. Not the kids fault that their dad is a pedophile (Iām assuming heās over 18)
Regardless of the situation, sheās a child and she and her child may benefit from having a relationship with you and your children. I, personally, would not only allow but encourage that relationship.
Okay whatās DV? Domestic violence? Divorce?
Your children should have an opportunity to get to know their sibling. The fatherās behavior has nothing to do with the children.
Have contact w/her because of the kidsā¦but go by ur rules
I met my brother at 30. And 2 sisters I canāt get that time back ā¦ let them
Think of the children on both sides, theyāve done nothing wrong!
I would for her sake and her childās sake alone. I think a positive adult relationship would be a benefit. And a bonus your children can know their sibling
I would deffo stay in contact, sheās done nothing to you? And your children can know their siblings then xx
I grew up not knowing one of my sisters. I didnāt meet her until I was 15 and we have no relationship. Let them know their sibling. Iāve always had some pain because my parents kept me from her.
It is their sibling. Put the shoe on your foot. Itās isnāt the kids fault. Also, how old are the kids?
Isnāt sleeping with someone underage illegal or an I missing somethingā¦ I would support her 100% and put that guy behind barsā¦
Sheās not really done anything wrong. Fell for the wrong bloke just like you did. Be her friend and see how it goes. The kids will probably love having a sibling and they deserve to try and get to know each other.
I would leave it up to the kids if they want to have contact or stay in contact with their new sibling. Theyāre feelings are all that matter right now . If they want to then fine let them. If not, donāt force them to stay in touch.
Let them this situation isnāt your fault
Welcome her into the family as much as possible as for him police station
Tell her to fuck off really i dont need anyone giving stress to ny child
I 100% would stay in contact. Thatās their baby brother or sister. She is a victim here!
I donāt see why so many are saying it is just the manās fault? This woman knew better and slept with a married manā¦long enough to get pregnant. Noā¦i wouldnāt have anything to do with her or the kid. She shouldnāt have slept with a married man and should have used birth control. When kids are older ,they could have choice to see the sibling. If this happened to me,i would not want to be around the husband anymore or his side chick. Shouldnāt have to deal with the consequences of his actions. 17 is old enough to know better than to sleep with a married man and how to use birth control.
I think your kids would resent you in future for not allowing them to know a half sibling. That is their blood also. Be amicable and let them know their sibling. Same goes for the innocent child who was born who wouldnāt know their siblings. Let them know each other and have a bond. The children are innocent.
Thatās their sibling until the day they dieā¦ā¦I had to make that choice a long time ago too and I obviously chose my sons brother
I would let the kids keep in contact with her because itās not the kids fault and none of them asked to be here but theyāre siblings and you donāt want your kids coming to you one day upset because you didnāt let them know their siblings growing up
I have a half brother that I didnāt meet till I was 16 he died last year Iām pissed I didnāt have them years knowing him
Unless he has harmed the children, they shouldnāt be kept from him. The issues you have with your baby daddy arenāt not your kids fault. & they should be allowed to know their sibling, under circumstancesā¦ what he did was in no way okay, but the kids shouldnāt be punished for itā¦ imoā¦
Her age and their fatherās actions does not make that child any less their sibling. What a selfish question
No. If the kids when they are adults want to reach out fine but not as kids.
I think the kids benefit with a relationship with a sibling and also from their motherās willingness to consider their best interest in the situation.
My ex did something similar. He doesnāt see either of his children but we all have such a lovely bond now, he gave us mums a friendship and my daughter a sister, jokes always on him xx
Itās not the childrenās faultā¦ Honestly, she was a child too so not sure if you can even blame her. Try to make it work.
Let the kids keep contact and in certain states, thatās statutory rape.
Of course stay in contact at the end of the day it isnāt the baby faultā¦
Keep in contact for the kids ā¦
itās not the childrenās fault. let them be a part of each others lifes.
Iād welcome her with open arms at the end of the day shes just a kid too and that baby is your kids sibling . Its unfortunate and really fucked up but Iād try to put those feeling behind me for the benefit of the children . . The husband tho can kick fkin rocks lol
Stay in contact. Iād want them to stay in contact with their siblings as long as she comes to you or you meet up.
I keep in touch with my daughterās half sisters. Even flew us out to see them. Theirs a reason yāall left that man, donāt let the kids suffer over adult drama
So let me tell you my situationā¦ My 2 little ones have a different dad than my oldest. I found out my oldest had a sibling 3 years older than himā¦ So I found the mom and we all became friends since they were little. my 2 little ones donor, who they have no contact with got another girl pregnant while we were still together and she had a baby boy. My 2 little ones refuse to have any contact with him. I gave them this adviseā¦ Your half brother did nothing wrong and it is up to you if you want to have any relationship with him. It would be nice if you did because he is your family. But they still refuse, so I donāt force it. I will mention it every once in a while to remind them but I get not response from them.
I think if you allowed the kids to make their own decision about seeing their dad, you can allow them the same courtesy for the sibling.
However, I would encourage a relationship with both. Check base often and make sure theyāre still solid on their decisions and support them if they change their mind.
Children should know their siblings, she sounds pretty mature in that line of thinking
Yes. Siblings is all they will have one day. Donāt keep them away. They will hate you for it later.
Since you feel the kids are old enough to make their own decision not to see their Dad then itās probably safe to say they are old enough to decide if they want to stay in touch with the half sibling as well. As his ex wife, I wouldnāt have any desire to stay in touch with her or the drama between them that will probably come from it all but if you can stay a safe distance away, be assured she wonāt create havoc or involve your kids in adult issues (even though she is a kid too) or she doesnāt try to involve you in the child rearing or want to ādropā the kid off to āvisitā itās siblings expecting any of you to babysit, then do whatās best and most comfortable for your children. But since the MaMa is a child raising a child Iād be careful not to become the āother motherā for them. None of it is any of the kidsā fault and it would be wonderful if it went smoothly.
I meanā¦ itās their sibling. Yeah, your husband got a teenager pregnant. Thatās an issue on its own. But her baby is their siblingā¦
Yep, be the bigger person and allow the relationship between the siblings. Itās not the babyās fault nor your kidsā fault. They will appreciate the maturity you displayed with this when they are older
Be easier to try and nurture a relationship for the siblings now than when they are older and want to know each other.
Depends on the age of the children.
Honestly she sounds like sheās in a similar boat and wants to make the best of it for the kids. Iād keep in touch so the kids can know their sibling
The people saying no should really be ashamed of their selvesā¦
Why canāt the siblings know each other?
They canāt help they have bad parents!
And your telling me nobody can be grown up enough to at least let the kids have a relationship?
You donāt have to be best friendsā¦
You think I care any about my husbandās baby mama?
Heck noooooooo do I act mature and grown so the kids have a loving family and not a set of parents acting like behinds!? Yessssssā¦
People these days really shock me on how little they can be adults!
Itās not the kidsā fault! Itās not the girls fault either. She was young and dumb and probably fell for some lies and such. Glad she got out before years passed. You are older ā¦. She may need a friendā¦ seriously, especially if he did similar to you!!! Sisterhood is real and powerful and family is familyā¦ let the kids become friends
Heās gross what grown man goes for a 17yr old , I wish men like this would do time, what does a 17yr old have in common w a grown ass man smh ā¦ not a damn thing ā¦ makes you wonder how far he will go , yea that would be a no for me especially if kids donāt want to be around him why put pressure on them to know their subling right now
It wouldnāt hurt anything to at least give it a try
Donāt make the kids suffer cause of adult mistakes. Let them decide what the want to do.
The kids did not ask for this. Donāt keep them separated from a sibling. You will end up looking like the bad guy.
If sheās mature then Iād befriend her so the kids could know each other. I tried to do that with my exās other baby mama but I found out she was talking crap about me being nice to her so I said āf itā but it seems to be better for everyone involved when the moms (at least, if not everyone) get along.
Let them see their sibling. Itās not got nothing to do with the kids!
Iām assuming your kids are a little older since they have made the decision not to see their father. I would ask them what they want to do. If they want to keep contact to have a relationship with their step sibling or not.
What does your heart say?
Be the Bigger Person and stay in touch with her for the childrenās sake. Who knows, you may even become friends!
I do not see an issue with the kids having a relationship, they are siblings and always will be .
Stay in contact. The kids deserve to know their sibling, even if itās kinda hard for you.
Iām sorry youāre in the situation youāre in thoš
Whether its in therapy or sittin around a campfire with friends your kids are gonna be talkin about this when theyāre adults, so you should consider the fallout for you if you dont take the high road and let them know their sibling, Shakespearian as it may be
Awwww that poor child. I would definitely keep in touch. Sheās a victim n shouldnāt be punished.
I would. They deserve to know each other.
itās not the childrenās fault, but your a grown woman so follow your heart
I donāt think itās her fault, heās a predator. Iād let the kids know their sibling.
If you see the child keep it to public places.
All Iām going to do is give advice on the sibling situation because I feel like we all know what your husband did was wrong.
I personally would let my kids have a relationship with the other kid. Itās not the kids fault what the parents have done. If you and the other mom can put it behind yourself while the kids are together then I say go for it.
Be the bigger person. Allow them to have a relationship with their sibling. Plus sheās still a kid herself. He should be ashamed of himself. Heās a pedophile.
The kids donāt know the difference let them see eachother
The kids are always innocent. You should keep in touch, so they can know each other.
It is not the childrenās fault. Be the better person.
I found out about a month or so ago that my ex has another child. I immediately set something up for my kids to meet their sibling. Itās not about the parents. The kids should know each other.
Let the kids know each other. Itās the right thing to do.
Iād ask your children what they think and leave it up to them. They are old enough to say they donāt want to see there dad so they can choose to see there sibling. It must have taken her a lot to reach out and ask you this so she is trying to be a grown up here. She did wrong as he was with someone but I bet he fed her lies and at 17 she probably fell for all of them. Keep in touch with her she may need a grown up to help her in the long run with the baby.
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First of all, SAY WHAT? Lol
Second of all, yes but definitely under your own supervision.
Stay in contact so the kids can know their sibling dont punish the children for his wrong doing
Let them know each other, you donāt want them to grow up and fall in love with each other not knowing they are related. A very close friend of mine just found out she dated her brother and thank God they hadnāt done anything but date each other.
I wouldnāt tell her your personal life stuff but I wish I had grown up with my other siblings.
I would never deny my kids the opportunity to know their sibling. I would most definitely let them know their sibling, not their fault that their dads a crappy person .
Well, A) I wouldnāt keep the kids from their dad unless he was abusive or an addict. B) Iād allow the siblings to see each other. Kids deserve to know their family.
So we just gone ignore the fact that the girl is 17
Let the kids be siblings.
Sheās the victim here. Leave him out of all of it. Donāt punish her and the kids for his screw up.
Let the kids know their sibiling the kids were not the ones who hurt you
I feel it depends. Is she going to keep contact with him? Are you okay with that if she does? Did he know she was 17? Was it sexual abuse? Thereās lots of questions only you can answer. I personally would explain to her that if she needs anything to let you know but that we can feel out for her to be around the kids. Yes you want siblings to know each other but you have to put your kids first. She has to put her baby first now too. Hoping you both can come to a agreement that blesses all kids involved. Praying he gets way he deserves. Praying that the young mom has a safe and healthy pregnancy and delivery. Praying for your momma heart and for you to make the best decision for your kiddos. Iām so sorry you, her, and the kids are going through this