What should I do?

She is still a child herself and is probably looking for adult guidance to navigate the male in her life. Best wishes

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I would have a relationship with her for the sake of the children. At the end of the day, itā€™s not any of the kids problem. But thatā€™s their sibling and I think itā€™s nice of her to still want them to have a relationship especially after the abuse. She could just say ā€œscrew if I want nothing to do with him or his sideā€ but sheā€™s not. At least attempt it and if it doesnā€™t work, at least you can say you triedšŸ’œ

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How old is he? Doesnā€™t that make him a predator

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Please allow it. My sisters and I didnā€™t get to bond with our younger sister from another mom (estranged father) until she was 12 and we were 15 and 16. While we have a close relationship now, I sure wish we could have memories from childhood too. :two_hearts:

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Honestly, stay in contact. Iā€™m in a similar situation.

2 kids of mine, 1 with other girl. (mine are 8 and 5, hers 7 months). Bio dad and second girl are technically together, but itā€™s alot easier being her friend than an enemy. The kids will grow up knowing their sibling. Biodad sure as hell doesnā€™t see them, but me and her try to get kids together at least once a week. If sheā€™s not a druggie or bad influence on the kids mental health, Iā€™d be all for the kids having a relationship. Itā€™s weird water to navigate, but eventually youā€™ll find a groove for you two.

Let the siblings have contact PLEASE. I met my sister when I was 17 and she was 16 and we can never get that time back.

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That is a tough situation especially if she knew He was in a relationship with you but on the other hand none of the kids should be punished and they should know each other I was just tread lightly with herļæ¼ļæ¼

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17 is still a child, your ex certainly knew better. I would stay in touch with her so they can see their sibling, are your kids old enough to understand?

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It could be to get back at him on her part or her is trying to arrange it so he can show up at the meeting

Iā€™m sorryā€¦ first offā€¦ how old is he if she is 17??? Is there a dramatic age difference? I feel for all of youā€¦ but it isnā€™t the childrenā€™s fault ā€¦ itā€™s your kids dad

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Let the kids see their sibling? Itā€™s not their fault. Whatā€™s the issue? Her age is irrelevant here. It has to do with the kids. Not her age.

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Maybe sheā€™s hoping youll guide her in some sort of way. Being a mom young is hard, being a young mom under her circumstances is even harder.

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If your willing to meet them in public places only I say there is no harm in it the kids should know the sibling. My dad was a p.o.s I still wish I knew my brother and sister from other women

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It is not the childā€™s fault at all, its the parents. But since heā€™s not living with you and yā€™all arenā€™t married, Iā€™m not sure Iā€™d be ok with them getting to know each other, unless the dad has the kids in his care and wants to have them together, but I wouldnā€™t try to do it if itā€™s just you, unless the kids get older or are older like 16+ and want to be involved in that childā€™s life. Donā€™t stress over it nor deal or worry about that right now. And I find it kinda crazy that she would talk to you about that right now and she hasnā€™t even had the child, but then again she is 17.

have a relationship with her and welcome her. if she is 17 and left a DV situation that speaks volumes. sheā€™s strong. the siblings deserve to know each other. in my opinion.

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Iā€™d keep in contact. Not the kids fault that their dad is a pedophile (Iā€™m assuming heā€™s over 18)

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Regardless of the situation, sheā€™s a child and she and her child may benefit from having a relationship with you and your children. I, personally, would not only allow but encourage that relationship.

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Okay whatā€™s DV? Domestic violence? Divorce?

Your children should have an opportunity to get to know their sibling. The fatherā€™s behavior has nothing to do with the children.

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Have contact w/her because of the kidsā€¦but go by ur rules

I met my brother at 30. And 2 sisters I canā€™t get that time back ā€¦ let them

Think of the children on both sides, theyā€™ve done nothing wrong!

I would for her sake and her childā€™s sake alone. I think a positive adult relationship would be a benefit. And a bonus your children can know their sibling

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I would deffo stay in contact, sheā€™s done nothing to you? And your children can know their siblings then xx

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I grew up not knowing one of my sisters. I didnā€™t meet her until I was 15 and we have no relationship. Let them know their sibling. Iā€™ve always had some pain because my parents kept me from her.

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It is their sibling. Put the shoe on your foot. Itā€™s isnā€™t the kids fault. Also, how old are the kids?

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Isnā€™t sleeping with someone underage illegal or an I missing somethingā€¦ I would support her 100% and put that guy behind barsā€¦

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Sheā€™s not really done anything wrong. Fell for the wrong bloke just like you did. Be her friend and see how it goes. The kids will probably love having a sibling and they deserve to try and get to know each other.

I would leave it up to the kids if they want to have contact or stay in contact with their new sibling. Theyā€™re feelings are all that matter right now . If they want to then fine let them. If not, donā€™t force them to stay in touch.

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Let them this situation isnā€™t your fault

Welcome her into the family as much as possible as for him police station

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Tell her to fuck off really i dont need anyone giving stress to ny child

I 100% would stay in contact. Thatā€™s their baby brother or sister. She is a victim here!

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I donā€™t see why so many are saying it is just the manā€™s fault? This woman knew better and slept with a married manā€¦long enough to get pregnant. Noā€¦i wouldnā€™t have anything to do with her or the kid. She shouldnā€™t have slept with a married man and should have used birth control. When kids are older ,they could have choice to see the sibling. If this happened to me,i would not want to be around the husband anymore or his side chick. Shouldnā€™t have to deal with the consequences of his actions. 17 is old enough to know better than to sleep with a married man and how to use birth control.

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I think your kids would resent you in future for not allowing them to know a half sibling. That is their blood also. Be amicable and let them know their sibling. Same goes for the innocent child who was born who wouldnā€™t know their siblings. Let them know each other and have a bond. The children are innocent.

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Thatā€™s their sibling until the day they dieā€¦ā€¦I had to make that choice a long time ago too and I obviously chose my sons brother

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I would let the kids keep in contact with her because itā€™s not the kids fault and none of them asked to be here but theyā€™re siblings and you donā€™t want your kids coming to you one day upset because you didnā€™t let them know their siblings growing up

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I have a half brother that I didnā€™t meet till I was 16 he died last year Iā€™m pissed I didnā€™t have them years knowing him :woman_shrugging:

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Unless he has harmed the children, they shouldnā€™t be kept from him. The issues you have with your baby daddy arenā€™t not your kids fault. & they should be allowed to know their sibling, under circumstancesā€¦ what he did was in no way okay, but the kids shouldnā€™t be punished for itā€¦ imoā€¦

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Her age and their fatherā€™s actions does not make that child any less their sibling. What a selfish question

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No. If the kids when they are adults want to reach out fine but not as kids.

I think the kids benefit with a relationship with a sibling and also from their motherā€™s willingness to consider their best interest in the situation.

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My ex did something similar. He doesnā€™t see either of his children but we all have such a lovely bond now, he gave us mums a friendship and my daughter a sister, jokes always on him xx

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Itā€™s not the childrenā€™s faultā€¦ Honestly, she was a child too so not sure if you can even blame her. Try to make it work.

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Let the kids keep contact and in certain states, thatā€™s statutory rape.

Of course stay in contact at the end of the day it isnā€™t the baby faultā€¦

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Keep in contact for the kids ā€¦

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itā€™s not the childrenā€™s fault. let them be a part of each others lifes.

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Iā€™d welcome her with open arms at the end of the day shes just a kid too and that baby is your kids sibling . Its unfortunate and really fucked up but Iā€™d try to put those feeling behind me for the benefit of the children . . The husband tho can kick fkin rocks lol

Stay in contact. Iā€™d want them to stay in contact with their siblings as long as she comes to you or you meet up.

I keep in touch with my daughterā€™s half sisters. Even flew us out to see them. Theirs a reason yā€™all left that man, donā€™t let the kids suffer over adult drama

So let me tell you my situationā€¦ My 2 little ones have a different dad than my oldest. I found out my oldest had a sibling 3 years older than himā€¦ So I found the mom and we all became friends since they were little. my 2 little ones donor, who they have no contact with got another girl pregnant while we were still together and she had a baby boy. My 2 little ones refuse to have any contact with him. I gave them this adviseā€¦ Your half brother did nothing wrong and it is up to you if you want to have any relationship with him. It would be nice if you did because he is your family. But they still refuse, so I donā€™t force it. I will mention it every once in a while to remind them but I get not response from them.

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I think if you allowed the kids to make their own decision about seeing their dad, you can allow them the same courtesy for the sibling.

However, I would encourage a relationship with both. Check base often and make sure theyā€™re still solid on their decisions and support them if they change their mind.

Children should know their siblings, she sounds pretty mature in that line of thinking

Yes. Siblings is all they will have one day. Donā€™t keep them away. They will hate you for it later.

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Since you feel the kids are old enough to make their own decision not to see their Dad then itā€™s probably safe to say they are old enough to decide if they want to stay in touch with the half sibling as well. As his ex wife, I wouldnā€™t have any desire to stay in touch with her or the drama between them that will probably come from it all but if you can stay a safe distance away, be assured she wonā€™t create havoc or involve your kids in adult issues (even though she is a kid too) or she doesnā€™t try to involve you in the child rearing or want to ā€œdropā€ the kid off to ā€œvisitā€ itā€™s siblings expecting any of you to babysit, then do whatā€™s best and most comfortable for your children. But since the MaMa is a child raising a child Iā€™d be careful not to become the ā€œother motherā€ for them. None of it is any of the kidsā€™ fault and it would be wonderful if it went smoothly. :woman_shrugging:t3:

I meanā€¦ itā€™s their sibling. Yeah, your husband got a teenager pregnant. Thatā€™s an issue on its own. But her baby is their siblingā€¦

Yep, be the bigger person and allow the relationship between the siblings. Itā€™s not the babyā€™s fault nor your kidsā€™ fault. They will appreciate the maturity you displayed with this when they are older

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Be easier to try and nurture a relationship for the siblings now than when they are older and want to know each other.

Depends on the age of the children.

Honestly she sounds like sheā€™s in a similar boat and wants to make the best of it for the kids. Iā€™d keep in touch so the kids can know their sibling

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The people saying no should really be ashamed of their selvesā€¦
Why canā€™t the siblings know each other?
They canā€™t help they have bad parents!
And your telling me nobody can be grown up enough to at least let the kids have a relationship?
You donā€™t have to be best friendsā€¦
You think I care any about my husbandā€™s baby mama?
Heck noooooooo do I act mature and grown so the kids have a loving family and not a set of parents acting like behinds!? Yessssssā€¦
People these days really shock me on how little they can be adults!

Itā€™s not the kidsā€™ fault! Itā€™s not the girls fault either. She was young and dumb and probably fell for some lies and such. Glad she got out before years passed. You are older ā€¦. She may need a friendā€¦ seriously, especially if he did similar to you!!! Sisterhood is real and powerful and family is familyā€¦ let the kids become friends

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Heā€™s gross what grown man goes for a 17yr old , I wish men like this would do time, what does a 17yr old have in common w a grown ass man smh ā€¦ not a damn thing :unamused: ā€¦ makes you wonder how far he will go , yea that would be a no for me especially if kids donā€™t want to be around him why put pressure on them to know their subling right now

It wouldnā€™t hurt anything to at least give it a try

Donā€™t make the kids suffer cause of adult mistakes. Let them decide what the want to do.

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The kids did not ask for this. Donā€™t keep them separated from a sibling. You will end up looking like the bad guy.

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If sheā€™s mature then Iā€™d befriend her so the kids could know each other. I tried to do that with my exā€™s other baby mama but I found out she was talking crap about me being nice to her so I said ā€œf itā€ but it seems to be better for everyone involved when the moms (at least, if not everyone) get along.

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Let them see their sibling. Itā€™s not got nothing to do with the kids!

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Iā€™m assuming your kids are a little older since they have made the decision not to see their father. I would ask them what they want to do. If they want to keep contact to have a relationship with their step sibling or not.

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What does your heart say?

Be the Bigger Person and stay in touch with her for the childrenā€™s sake. Who knows, you may even become friends!

I do not see an issue with the kids having a relationship, they are siblings and always will be .

Stay in contact. The kids deserve to know their sibling, even if itā€™s kinda hard for you.

Iā€™m sorry youā€™re in the situation youā€™re in thošŸ’•

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Whether its in therapy or sittin around a campfire with friends your kids are gonna be talkin about this when theyā€™re adults, so you should consider the fallout for you if you dont take the high road and let them know their sibling, Shakespearian as it may be

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Awwww that poor child. I would definitely keep in touch. Sheā€™s a victim n shouldnā€™t be punished.

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I would. They deserve to know each other.

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itā€™s not the childrenā€™s fault, but your a grown woman so follow your heart

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I donā€™t think itā€™s her fault, heā€™s a predator. Iā€™d let the kids know their sibling.

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If you see the child keep it to public places.

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All Iā€™m going to do is give advice on the sibling situation because I feel like we all know what your husband did was wrong.
I personally would let my kids have a relationship with the other kid. Itā€™s not the kids fault what the parents have done. If you and the other mom can put it behind yourself while the kids are together then I say go for it.

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Be the bigger person. Allow them to have a relationship with their sibling. Plus sheā€™s still a kid herself. He should be ashamed of himself. Heā€™s a pedophile.

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The kids donā€™t know the difference let them see eachother

The kids are always innocent. You should keep in touch, so they can know each other. :heart:

It is not the childrenā€™s fault. Be the better person.

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I found out about a month or so ago that my ex has another child. I immediately set something up for my kids to meet their sibling. Itā€™s not about the parents. The kids should know each other.

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Let the kids know each other. Itā€™s the right thing to do.

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Iā€™d ask your children what they think and leave it up to them. They are old enough to say they donā€™t want to see there dad so they can choose to see there sibling. It must have taken her a lot to reach out and ask you this so she is trying to be a grown up here. She did wrong as he was with someone but I bet he fed her lies and at 17 she probably fell for all of them. Keep in touch with her she may need a grown up to help her in the long run with the baby.

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l get paid over $135 per hour working from home. l never thought Iā€™d be able to do it but my buddy makes over $21791 a month doing this and she convinced me to try. The possibility with this is endless.

Details HEREā€¦ https://homejobonlinew0rk13.neocities.org/

First of all, SAY WHAT? Lol
Second of all, yes but definitely under your own supervision.

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Stay in contact so the kids can know their sibling dont punish the children for his wrong doing

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Let them know each other, you donā€™t want them to grow up and fall in love with each other not knowing they are related. A very close friend of mine just found out she dated her brother and thank God they hadnā€™t done anything but date each other.

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I wouldnā€™t tell her your personal life stuff but I wish I had grown up with my other siblings.

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I would never deny my kids the opportunity to know their sibling. I would most definitely let them know their sibling, not their fault that their dads a crappy person .

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Well, A) I wouldnā€™t keep the kids from their dad unless he was abusive or an addict. B) Iā€™d allow the siblings to see each other. Kids deserve to know their family.

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So we just gone ignore the fact that the girl is 17 :thinking:

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Let the kids be siblings.

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Sheā€™s the victim here. Leave him out of all of it. Donā€™t punish her and the kids for his screw up.

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Let the kids know their sibiling the kids were not the ones who hurt you

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I feel it depends. Is she going to keep contact with him? Are you okay with that if she does? Did he know she was 17? Was it sexual abuse? Thereā€™s lots of questions only you can answer. I personally would explain to her that if she needs anything to let you know but that we can feel out for her to be around the kids. Yes you want siblings to know each other but you have to put your kids first. She has to put her baby first now too. Hoping you both can come to a agreement that blesses all kids involved. Praying he gets way he deserves. Praying that the young mom has a safe and healthy pregnancy and delivery. Praying for your momma heart and for you to make the best decision for your kiddos. Iā€™m so sorry you, her, and the kids are going through this

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