What should I have done in this situation?

On Saturday myself and hubby had a great day out with another couple. We done a pub crawl and came back to ours at a reasonable hour as we were out from early. At 1am another one of my husbands friend turned up at our door (uninvited with his dog) so drunk he could hardly stand and he drove!!! We could not get rid of him (risking him driving again) so he ended up staying over. We eventually got him to bed but me and hubby didn’t realise his friend got up and continued drinking (all the bottles of spirits from our drinks cabinet were emptied by him). When I woke up and saw the state of him and how much he drank I made breakfast to try and sober him up but he got sick all over my bathroom – which I had to clean up! Obviously we couldnt let him leave and drive home coz he was so drunk!! I tried making him coffees to sober him up but he got verbally abusive with me, telling me if I don’t let him have a drink he was going to do something bad to himself – I told my husband not to get involved because his friend is a big guy and i didnt want a fight to start. He got pretty scary at me in my own home so I told him I was going to ring him mam to pick him up but he left before I could do that. What I didn’t know was that he had his car key on him and turns out he drove home in a terrible drunken state. Myself and hubby had work early on Monday morning so him staying another night wasn’t an option (which is why I was going to get his mam involved). Now apparently I’m the worse person in the world according to him and he is tarring my name among our circle of friends. Can I ask what you guys would have done in that situation and was I wrong?

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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. What should I have done in this situation?

Tell everyone the real story. Even if he’s around. Everyone will see you we’re just trying to be a good friend. Next time record him if he’s acting up.

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You guys did right by trying to keep him and others safe by not letting him drive.Sounds like he has an alcohol abuse problem and is very inconsiderate.If he was tarnishing your name even sober then you and your husband need to just cut him off.Any true friends of yalls in the group will see right through him and know that you were only trying to be helpful.People can only be helped if they want to help themselves and it doesnt sound like he does

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The min he got verbally abusive I would of called the police n told them to pick him up. That way he wouldnt be on the road n also would of been out of ur house. Dude needs to get help. Like yesterday

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I would’ve called the cops immediately.

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Your husband should have been handling this situation. Has for what he thinks about who cares what a drunk as thinks

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Well if he did that to you he’s probably done it to another of y’all’s friends so I wouldn’t even worry about it! If he was that bad it’s no secret

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I’m worried about his dog!! The guy has a very serious problem!!

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I would have called him an ambulance he obviously needs some help

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Tell your story, have your husband support it and add his story. Real friends don’t treat people with disrespect like that. Also if your other friends are dropping you over his lies, don’t let it get to you. They will realize it soon enough.
Obviously This guy is a mess and it’s either going to kill somebody while drinking and driving or causes own demise. People will find out soon enough because he’s going to find somebody else to do the exact same thing he’s done with you guys.

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I would have called the police the minute he became mean!

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Tell them all the truth.

You did more than ENOUGH!!!
He was very disrespectful!!!
The truth is the truth no matter how it’s told & 1 overnight to sober up us more than enough!!!

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Next time he shows up at your door have him come in and call his mother right away. Don’t care what time it is. If she can’t call either a taxi or the cops to take him home. He has 0 business in your home any more, but to prevent someone getting hurt it’s a pit stop. That “friend” might have something going on- but that doesn’t give him any right to act any type of way towards you. Drunk or not.

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I would’ve called the cops then given him his keys… that’s just me. I don’t handle that disrespect. And here’s the thing you need to cut off that friendship immediately. And also anyone who believes him as they’re not your friends either. Bye toxic people.

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You weren’t wrong in any way shape or form.you did your best. He needs help but he is not your husband or your responsibility. He is not a friend, cut him off, PERIOD. I guarantee the people he is bad mouthing about you to have seen or experienced similar behavior from him, don’t worry about them. If they dare to ask tell the truth otherwise don’t concern yourself.

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Should have called the police and let them handle it

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Your other friends know he’s the issue. I’m sure he’s done the same to them.

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You were way nicer then I would have been. I would have called the cops on him. No friendship is worth that.

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Totally should have taken pics of his drunk ass and the disaster he left in your bathroom! But I’d be sure that everyone knows that part of his story!!!

Called the police. He was not invited to your home.

I personally wouldn’t worry about what he says. Anyone that believes negative things about you aren’t your friends anyway. He’s an idiot and you’re probably not the only ones he’s behaved this way with. If they ain’t paying your bills screw what they think. You’ve got better things to do than worry what a bunch of bored adults are gossiping about.

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Do a group a message, write in a way that he isn’t put down, what he did is disgusting I’m sorry you had to deal with that and he needs to apologise. I’m sorry but your husband needs to step in here and say never to speak to my wife like that. When all she was doing was trying to help you. Also he isn’t welcomed at your house

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I would have called the police. :woman_shrugging:t2: If your circle of friends take his side without hearing your side of what happen then they aren’t good friends.

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I’m at the point in my life where my house is not a party spot. If he didn’t leave, made a mess and got scary I would have called the cops or mom like you said. It’s not your job to parent him. I would also ask him to pay you back for all the drinks he had at your house uninvited.

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You did what you could, he chose to drink and get plastered, in my opinion I’d stop being friends with this person.

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Tell his irresponsible ass to get to rehab…what a joke

I would have called the cops when he became mean, it’s one thing to drink and come over uninvited but he also drove plastered and was mean in YOUR home. I’d tell him he wasn’t welcome if he’s gonna act that way, nobody is gonna disrespect me in my own home idc who it is

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I would tell him he’s no longer welcome in your home until he gets himself some help. He sounds like an alcoholic.

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I will call the cops to come to bring him home

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He’s ashamed and embarrassed and trying to turn the attention to you. I would do as stated above, and send a group text calling him out on his behavior and asking the other friends In your circle how they would’ve handled the situation.

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He is obviously a raging drunk…nobody listens to him.

I would have called the cops on his a** I don’t care how drunk you are you don’t come in my home and threaten me puke on my floor and drink all my liquor while I’m sleeping and get away with it Let him say whatever he wants. You just let everyone know What that man did in your house and to you and I’m sure they’ll change their minds real quick. You did nothing wrong he did. Sounds like he has a major drinking problem and needs a wake up call before he ends up drinking himself to death or from drunk driving. He needs to get some help. It’s probably not the 1st time hes done something like this to friends and family so I wouldn’t be too worried about it. You didn’t make him drive home drunk he chose to do that do that after he threatened you he couldn’t stay in your house anyways it was a dangerous situation somebody was gonna get hurt get hurt he could have just walked or waited for his mother to come pick him up but he chose to drive you didn’t make him.

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That wouldn’t be my husband’s friend anymore if some man threatened me in my own home

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Let him drive and call the police. You wanna play stupid games, you win stupid prizes. When he is sober, id also have another conversation with him about his behavior and explain to him that that behavior and disrespect won’t be tolerated in my home ever again. If he’s drunk, and needs to continue drinking upon showing up, he can go somewhere else that isn’t my house. That is no friend to act that way, drunk or not, isn’t an excuse. Theres just some things you don’t do. You need to know when to quit. Dude, grow up.

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Called the cops when he got behind the wheel.

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Youre always the worse person to an addict if youre not enabling their addiction. People with sense should know this and not think anything of it… the ones that dont on the other hand, probably arent worth your time

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Let’s be honest any one who knows you and is actually your friend won’t listen to anyone who bad mouths you and if they do then there not your friends anyway …. Send him an invoice for all the booze and ban him from your house

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I would have rang the police to remove him, he wants to think himself lucky you didn’t take that route!!!

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Never mind about that idiot…what about the dog? When an if you see him again when’s he’s sober tell him off. It’s obvious he’s a raging alcoholic.

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Verbally abusive :rage: He would’ve got his a$$ whooped by my husband :woman_shrugging:

I would have called the police.

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Nope… I wouldn’t allow it. I wonder how your husband would react if one of your friends behaved so rudely?

He has a problem, but it’s not with you! He’s a shell of a man. I wouldn’t be too concerned about what other people thought of your actions anyways.

He would have only been in my home long enough for the police to arrive….he’s not a friend anyway if he’s not apologizing constantly for his actions!!!

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Only thing I would have done differently is call the cops the minute I realized he was driving drunk. And he would not be darkening my doorstep again.

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No you were very considerate he was not should be thankful for such good fruends

Wtf if your “friends” are believing this guys bs then they’re NOT your friends in the first place!he was wrong and you put up with him too much I think. Is there a cab or Uber that could have gotten him. Shoot since he stole your alcohol you could have called the cops and they would have taken him off your hands and put him in the drunk tank to sober up. Or just taken him away and out of your house. This guy is not a friend. His actions were over the top and if your “friends” can’t hear your side and understand that then “bye felicia”

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Any of your “real” friends should know you were RIGHT!
You owe that man nothing!!

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Called the cops. True friends don’t listen to garbage and this “friend” isn’t much of a friend if he sobered up and didn’t come apologize for his behavior and instead blamed you.

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I’m sorry, I feel bad for that dog. Cause if he’s verbally abusive to a human drunk, I can only imagine what he does to that dog. Next time call the cops on his sorry ass.

I would have driven him to his house at some point

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Let him crack on with it, you tried to help some people would have left him to it! Next time call the police, better he spends the night in a cell than perhaps killing someone on the road.

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I would have kicked his butt out the moment he started getting abusive.

You know you were right

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I would have called the police especially after he was being verbally abusive

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He’s an addict and could of killed someone. I would of called the police when he left drunk. You could be criminally responsible letting him leave your house drunk if he killed someone. Next time don’t answer the door.

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Well for one it would have been a fight the second he disrespected me in my house because my husband gives 0 ZERO F​:face_with_symbols_over_mouth::face_with_symbols_over_mouth::face_with_symbols_over_mouth: s who or what or where you are when it comes to me . Two my husband would have dealt with that whole situation I would have never had to get involved. He probably would have just drove him home 🤷

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Your circle of people more than likely know this bloke. Y’all probably aren’t the first people he has done this too , so I wouldn’t worry about is spewing mouth. If he ever sobers up I would tell him that because of his disrespectful behavior that you are cutting all ties with him but wish him safety and the best of luck in life, and stick to your guns. Life is hard enough without this sort of shenanigans going on.

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I would take his keys first
Try to get him to lay down. If that did not work I would get a friend or family member to come get him
If that does not work call the law
They will lock him up and keep them safe
They will be up any way and they know how to handle them.

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Call him out and say exactly what happened. It’ll turn around on him and he’ll look the fool. He drove to your house, unexpectedly, drunk. Proceeded to drink all your liquor while you were sleeping. Vomited and didn’t clean it up. Then got verbally aggressive with you bc you tried sobering him up. When he couldn’t get anymore liquor out of you, he decided driving drunk again was a good idea. Put him on blast since that’s where he took it. I would also ditch him as a friend. Whether he’s an alcoholic or not, he’s not a good friend.

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I would’ve called the police at the first sign of him being belligerent. He showed up unannounced, expected you to mommy him, and got angry when you weren’t grateful for the opportunity. Next, he would no longer be welcome at my house at all. If he wants to try to repair the situation and you’re good with that, that’s one thing but he isn’t showing any remorse at all for what he did and I wouldn’t let my SO treat me that way so I definitely wouldn’t let one of his friends. With the circle of friends, I wouldn’t say anything about it to any of them. Don’t offer up negative gossip. If they ask, you can explain what happened but anybody that will listen to that kind of stuff about a friend and not at least ask that person what happened isn’t a friend.

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That guy would not be allowed back. He could have really hurt somebody driving in that state smh. Your hubs should have loaded him up and drove him home or called an ambulance. Sometimes people just need a night in the drunk tank to realize they’re being an ass

No you weren’t and he needs to grow up and accept the consequences to his actions

You weren’t wrong. I would have called the police the minute he left drunk though, and had him pulled over before he killed someone. Let him talk. If your circle of friends, knowing how he is, are mean to you because of what he says, they weren’t friends to begin with. Forget them and get new friends.

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He is an alcoholic and is going to need detoxing before he kills someone or himself or both when he is driving while intoxicated. Try to extricate yourselves from him and keep telling your friends what you did to help and how he behaved. You two event kvetch backwards for this guy who did not deserve it.

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Definitely would’ve called the cops after the next morning. And the disrespect, you can only help so much

I would’ve called the police and got his ass busted for drunk driving.

I’d then be cutting all contact with him as he certainly would never set foot in my house again

Yuck. I’d be dropping him as a friend.

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Next time call the police, I would also tell him he owes you for what he drank and not to come over anymore. If he comes to your home especially drunk, call the police

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I would have called the cops and kept his dog. I’d tell my side of the story to the “friend group” and then go no contact. Don’t let him back into your home!

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Sounds like that dude needs JOB and less drinking and being immature

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You weren’t wrong. I would just explain the situation, if needed, to your guys circle of friends. And leave it at that. Don’t drag it out or talk bad about him. If he shows up at your house again just call him a cab or whatever it is to get him home safely, don’t let him in your home again if he’s drunk. I think you and your husband deserve and apology since he got sick all over the bathroom, he drank all your guys alcohol, and got ugly with you when you were only trying to help

Sweetie, don’t allow him back in your house. I come from a family of alcoholics… Let him tarnish your name, you weren’t in the wrong for trying to sober him up. However, instead of calling his mom I’d have called the police and have him spend some time in the drunk tank. Sometimes that’s what they need. I hope he gets better. And don’t worry about him tarnishing your name

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When he threatened to hurt himself, I would have called his bluff.

Next time call the cops

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No you were not he needs to go get help and I would let everyone know what he did and I would have called the police that is wrong of him

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Normally I would not involve the police but I that situation for your safety as well as his I would have. They would have either taken him to the ER to be checked out for his safety or had him spend time in the drunk tank ( not sure they even call it that anymore) to sober up under close supervision. He needs to grow the hell up and be a manager not a little child throwing a tantrum because he did this to himself. You and your hubby were only trying to protect him and others from a horrifically would could have been a tragic drunk driving situation.( my uncle was a very bad alcoholic but the sweetest man drunk or sober. He was driving drunk and a man stepped out infront of his car on the road. The only thing that kept him from life in prison was the suicide note the man’s wife found). It changed my uncle’s life sadly for the worst. He died of a heart attack trying to detox on his own. I only share his story so it may save another’s life.
Many blessings to you and your family.

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Sounds like he has a drinking problem might need some sort of intervention because I know drinking and driving this gets the law and you did what you could but definitely defend yourself and your name because he doesn’t want to take responsibility of nice to wake up and do that

Call. The. Cops. IDK. If. He. Disowned. Hubby. Your. Safety. And. Peace. Of. Mind is. Paramout. I. Was. Married to a. Drunk
I. Know. How. It. Feels.
My. Sympathy

I was in that situation with one of my brothers shirt of calling the police nothing I could have done no family around me and he had kids with him which I didn’t know until he got to me house his wife and I spent a harrowing night on the phone It took him hours To get home and the stories m my nephew told us we’re horrendous they had an accident but nobody was hurt If I had it to do over I would have called the police

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I would have called the police the second he got belligerent and refused to cooperate or leave.

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Your a good person - you did good. I personally would’ve put him out when he got abusive/ threatening to hurt himself and called the law. He was gonna do what he wanted anyways- he had his keys. I feel sorry for the dog.

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I would have immediately called the police they would have sobered him up quickly.

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Talk to his mam tell her what happened…or get a better group of friends

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I would of made a facebook post tagging him and all of your friends shaming him. Next time someone shows up that drunk, ring the police and not his mam. Post on FB this same exact post and tag him and then tell him he is no longer welcome at your home. How nice of you to put up with a drunk. I wont even deal with a drunk, someone shows up to my house drunk, and I call the police right away. Miss me with that :poop:

Your group of friends probably already know he’s full of shit. :tipping_hand_woman:t3:

Hell no. I would have called the cops.

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Clearly not your problem. He is an alcoholic and I would steer clear of him. Tell your husband he is no longer welcome at your house.

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You did more than I would have.
Personally id have called the police and reported him for drink driving , theft and aggressive behaviour. Friends who believe him over you are not real friends…I wouldnt bother with them tbh.

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What you should have done was phone the police.
Otherwise I can’t see why you should be treated as the bad one.

Drive him home or call the cops. Who cares what he is saying about you.

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You did fine people with addiction issues like to blame everyone else but the addiction. You will drive yourself crazy trying to make sense out of nonsense. Know in your heart you did the best for the friend one day if they get cleaned up and in their right mind they will see you were trying to help the best you knew how.

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Your patience and ability to show care for someone so disruptive is commendable. You can speak your side of the story, or you can let those “friends” weed themselves out of your life because a true friend would come to you before drawing conclusions about you. I’d tell that guy to stay the hell away from you after causing so much stress. It’s over now, but handling it moving forward is what counts. He sounds like he needs help but that’s not your problem or prerogative. He should stay away from you until he (if he) gets help. No more drama for you.

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He’s an alcoholic you cant make him stop drinking but I would have called the police because he could have killed someone.

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Obviously you weren’t wrong… calling police would be right, next move. He shouldn’t be licensed. If he killed someone you could be charged.

Throwed a basin water over him

You can’t reason with a drunk

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Or I’d wait for a get together and blast him in front of everyone. I’d tell how drank every bottle in the house, drove drunk and could’ve killed someone, became beligerant like a child and got mad after he puked all over my bathroom and I tried to help him.
Nah. Y’all are too nice. Next time, film him and play it back.
What is he, 12? Personally, after I blasted his business, I’d warn police abt him driving drunk and he would never be around me or mine again. He’s a ticking time bomb. And if you can’t level his sorry behind, call me.
I got you.

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