What should I say to my stepdaughter?

The vapes going around the schools these days all have nicotine in them which is obviously addictive! Be careful they are illegally being dealt.

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. What should I say to my stepdaughter?

1 Like

Be aware that if you go down too hard on her, she will still try things and just not tell you. That’s worse. Maybe educate her on the risks which should help her to make better decisions rather than feel belittled.

90 Likes

This is where are you a mom or a friend comes in. A friend will not say anything even if they feel that a choice or a decision is harmful. A mom or a parent will sacrifice that child hating them not trusting them etc. etc. for their well-being for their health both physical or mental whatever, because that’s what parents do. It’s good that she trusts you but unfortunately she views you as a friend not as a parent. But on the same token this is your choice you can choose to be more of a friend to her or you can choose to be more of a parent to her me personally i will always be a parent first personally I would say some thing. :woman_shrugging:t2:

85 Likes

Ask her how she felt about it. Ask her what she did with it. Ask follow up questions. That’s great that she’s comfortable telling you things. She told you because she wants to talk about it

61 Likes

I personally think it’s great she came to you!! Don’t use this as an opportunity to scold her. Use this as an educational opportunity. Sit with her and show her the dangers of vaping and how addicting it is. Just don’t berate her because she won’t come to you about anything else if you do. You can be a mom and a friend at the same time. :heart:

33 Likes

I love how most everyone is going off acting totalitarian here when in reality we all know if a teen wants to do something they’re going to do it. No amount of parenting can stop it. We’ve all been there and went against our own parents just the same.
Wouldn’t you rather be aware of what they’re doing or not doing so you can have some sort of handle on it and trust between you and the child? The other parent needs to be involved for sure. I’m not saying it’s ok but if she’s being honest enough to come to you now if you treat her like a criminal she’s not going to come to you again. Diplomatic and eloquent approach here. This will decide how she will act in the future with things she knows she shouldn’t be involved with.

26 Likes

Please don’t overreact as she’ll only fight back. Yes, she is in the wrong but please, please don’t let her down by shutting her down. If you’re not careful with the way you handle this it may be the last time she comes to you. It’s tricky because you’re the step parent. We don’t know how long you’ve been in the picture and if you’re more on the parent or friend side. A lot of us react in the moment, take a deep breathe and act accordingly to your specific situation.

28 Likes

I feel as though there shouldn’t be secrets like this kept from her parents, especially your partner. I don’t think he/she would continue to trust you if you’re keeping secrets about his/her daughters well-being from them. Jmo

19 Likes

It’s good she trusts you but you are also being taken advantage of. She wants it kept between you two because she will get in trouble. Vaping is illegal until she is 21 (here) and you should talk to her parents.

15 Likes

Please say something to her. I am a 65 year old smoker with bi-lateral lung cancer. The test time I was in the hospital for pneumonia I told my respiratory therapist that I thought I would try vaping to help me quit smoking. He told me NO ! He would rather me smoke than vape !!! That vaping is so much worse on your lungs. So please, please tell her not to smoke or vape. I am terminal and my time is limited. Please do all you can to persuade her that it is not worth it. :pray: I pray you get through to her. I wish someone got through to me. God Bless. If anyone who reads this smokes…please stop. Life is too precious to blow smoke .

12 Likes

Vapes are for tobacco and or marijuana use so for a child, yes that’s very bad and should speak to the other child’s mother and the principal

12 Likes

I mean some vapes don’t have nicotine in them at all. You can buy flavors with a zero mg.
Still she’s 15 and it’s a parent first decision that you and your partner need to be on the same page with.

11 Likes

Could you research together what the effects of vaping are? As a mama of 4 I know that unless she doesn’t want to vape or what ever she does you won’t be able to stop her she has to make that choice. Don’t judge. Love her always no matter what. Keep her confidence. Blasting her out to her parents isn’t going to change her mind. Be there to help her learn what is healthy for her body for her soul. Honestly if she vapes or not doesn’t change her beauty inside and that is what matters.

9 Likes

I would talk to her explain your concerns and make her talk to her dad about it! And you just sit with her during that time let her dad handle the parenting stuff but also let her know that there are somethings that need to be talked to her parents about but you will be there for support. Also remind her dad that she did nothing wrong and that she is telling him about it so they can discuss the consequences of using them then leave it up to her and her dad if they tell her mom! Then your not breaking the trust and you are standing up to her dad for her!

8 Likes

She’s manipulating you and she’s testing you to see how far she can go. I’d nip it in the bud real quick.

If I’m providing for you and you’re living in my house, you’re abiding by my rules. Don’t like it? Leave 🤷

11 Likes

Really? Uh yes say something to her and her “parents”. :roll_eyes::woman_facepalming:t2: take it away and all of the above she isn’t 18 yet.

8 Likes

15 is definitely to young for this kind of behavior. I feel this is something all parents involved should be aware of.

7 Likes

They can be dangerous and addictive. Depends on what the Vape juice is. A lot of kids are getting refillable vapes and putting in homemade stuff. That is scary. Nicotine is addictive and needs to be stopped immediately, cbd isn’t too bad but it’s still Vape. Plus the solution in there alone is bad for the lungs in excess. It is basically inhaling soap. Glycerine in soap. Plus if they burn a coil then they are inhaling burnt stuff. I would talk to her after doing a little research to make sure you know what you are talking about. You could tell your man and yall just talk between the two of you how you can address it without loosing her trust. Ultimately you want her to feel comfortable coming to you when she is in trouble or danger knowing home is the safe place.

4 Likes

Talk to her. And let her know you want things to stay between you guys (most things can) but I would get her to give it to you to get rid of it or have her give it back to the friend.

6 Likes

Vapes aren’t horribly dangerous but, like everything, they have risks. Being a teenager is hard and it’s good to be able to know that there is an adult you can go to when you need them. I wouldn’t say anything. Cause next time a friend may give her something that is dangerous and she won’t go to you in fear of getting in trouble. Educate (not lecture) her on things as they happen. Her getting in trouble over something minor will keep her for asking for help when something major happens.

4 Likes

Personally, if she felt confident confiding in you, then it should stay between you. You know your daughter best, raise her to know when things are wrong. If you trust her and she trusts you, she would say no to her friend. And her friend and her habits are between her and her parents, not you.

Your main focus should be if your child took the offer and vaped, which I assume she didn’t if she went straight to you. You could break her trust over getting involved with someone else’s family which isn’t your responsibility. If the friend is lying to her parents, that’s their problem, not yours and she will eventually face the consequences

4 Likes

While you want your daughter to come to you and trust you, I think it’s a good idea to talk with her first explaining the matter and the importance of looking out for her friend as well and having a talk with those parents and child together. You would do it if it were alcohol or drugs. Certain matters do need to be addressed and confronted. Maybe the other child’s parents don’t know and should be made aware as well.

3 Likes

It depends if it was a tobacco vape or just the flavours. A lot of kids are buying the non tobacco ones and using them now. Especially teens around here. My partner vapes as he quit smoking using it and now they sell all flavours without the nicotine and you get it separate to add in. You have to be over 16 (sorry 18 Uk) to buy the nicotine shots, same as with cigarettes.

5 Likes

I would lay the mom guilt on and explain the damage is does health wise. And I would tell her that she is worth more than that. She deserves a beautiful, healthy life without poor health and addictions. Make sure she knows she does not have to follow her friends to be cool. It’s much cooler to have self control and pave your own way. If she doesn’t receive it I would have to tell dad.

3 Likes

Well it’s illegal. So I’m thinking it’s good to deal with it now before she gets addicted.

10 Likes

This is so tough, because it’s excellent that she feels so comfortable to come to you with things, and you don’t want to break that trust. I would definitely stress how dangerous they are and how they can be addicting just like cigarettes.

1 Like

The first problem I see here is “she always tells me to”. Aren’t you the parent? :woman_shrugging:

6 Likes

Unfortunately, the younger you are when you become addicted to vapes the harder it is to quit because it rewires the pleasure center in the brain. Perhaps do some research with her. There are some good shows and documentaries, I believe even on Netflix, that cover the changes in the brain that occur with vaping. If she’s going to start let her make the informed decision about her body knowing the long term consequences.

1 Like

15 is such a hard age. There’s a fine line between them listening and acting out and being sneaky. I’d express that you’re really thankful she came to you and was honest but also explain the dangers of vaping (even though she may not fully comprehend). It’s hard because kids do what they want and you can only do your best. But definitely keep it between y’all or she won’t come to you again for something that can be even more dangerous. I’m so sorry you’re put into this position.

Well why did her friend give it to her?. Does she Vape sometimes. Was her friend just asking her to hold it. Vaping isn’t the best thing. But I wouldn’t come down too hard on her because she did tell you.

Yes their suppose to be more dangerous than cigarettes according to my doctor. Which got up set with me when he told me this and i told him okay then i was going back to smoking cigarettes. But a 15 yr old is probably only experimenting so dont go over board on her. Just point out that if she smokes or vapes her body may end up craving it and will drive her crazy if she dont satisfy this craving. So unless shes a millionaire not to start it cuz its a dirty habit that she could spend that amount of money on something else and have something to show for her hard earned cash she spent…

1 Like

The fact that she felt comfortable telling you is amazing. I’d make sure she knows the dangers of it & try to help her figure out why her friend was vaping. She may not have used it, or just experimented.

Just know - if she wants to be in the military or have a security clearance any use of any substance underage (or ones that are illegal) is considered illegal drug use & can prevent her from getting cleared. I’d hate for something so insignificant to cause such a major issue in my child’s life. :two_hearts:

I’d be honest with her completely. I would lay it all out that you love that she feels comfortable telling you things and you don’t want that to change but that you need to be honest with her dad because this is something serious. I feel like telling her upfront that you are going to tell dad is going to benefit how she reacts. Explain to her that you’ll tell him together and that you’re only looking out for her and that she’s not in trouble for being honest

My 12 year old step son had two vapes I found in his pillow case. I flipped my lid and his dad knew and didn’t care. I will not tolerate that in my house and they were thrown away and he was grounded. My nephew gave them to him but he hid them from me knowing he would get in trouble so therefore he knew it was wrong

Well considering you can’t buy that kind of stuff legally until 21 now and the fact that anything like that is unhealthy and starts bad habits I wouldn’t keep it between us. Yes she stepdaughter but imagine if you have a child and the stepmom is keeping this secret from you. I’d be upset

You need to express how you feel about it and let her know that you will be sharing this information to her parents because it’s for her well being.
It doesn’t matter if what they are vaping is nicotine or not this will just lead to other things… hate to say it but clearly she’s being influenced by her friends. “Show me your friends, I’ll show you your future!”

Honestly, I wish someone had told me how addicting nicotine was. When I was 14 I started smoking because it was “cool”. She actually came to you about it. So sit down and have a conversation about how addicting it can be, how hard it is to quit once you’re used to it, how it can quickly become a coping mechanism and spiral out of control. Ask if if she is vaping herself and let her know the sooner she quits the better if she is. Besides it being the “cool” thing there’s generally reasons someone starts for example coping with stress. Don’t shame her for telling you.

Please try to navigate slowly you don’t want her to not trust you. But also things can’t be hid from your partner and her other parent. Maybe a family meeting is needed. Talk to her first and explain that keeping secrets from her parents can’t be done. Good luck momma

i’ve been vaping since i was 17😂 my mom knew if i really wanted to she couldn’t stop me, so she told me risks and left it at that. i actually stopped for a year while pregnant. it’s not that addicting if you only smoke 3mg nicotine lol. Plus if you or her parents smoke then it’s kinda hypocritical

Tell her how u feel about vaping just as u would about sex or drugs try to let her know u are not trying to replace her mom but just as a concerned person she will want to continue to confide in u if she knows u are not trying to replace her mother but be there still as someone to talk to no child wants to feel as though u are trying to replace a parent its a fine line to walk in between being a parent and step parent

There are more people going in to get their lungs looked at who smoke vape than cigarettes smokers or elderly. I had my lungs tested and they said it has skyrocketed on ages 18-25 year olds with health problems because it’s easy to smoke those non stop all day.

I’d tell her to give me the vape. And if you’re close, explain why, and that when shes 21 if she wants to vape so be it. :wink:
However, it’s tough to keep our teens from making mistakes, but it’s a good learning experience.

I would tell her that it was not safe, it’s good that she told you but she has to tell her parents too. Give her a set time that she has to tell by, or you will have to tell them for her. Her safety is too important

Be a mom … I know that it’s a fine line and is hard for stepmoms but whatever ure values r in nicotine need to be consistent in what that is … it s hard for ALL kinds of moms at this age … :pray::pray::pray:

My son had the same scenario. Knowing about it & supply 0% juice for it keeps your child safe and off of other stuff. They lose interest in things quickly so probably short lived anyways.

Don’t say anything to anyone else but voice your concerns! She will no longer trust you if you tell on her! Keep that trust! But she is definitely old enough “to talk to like adults” so talk to her!

At 15 they will do what they want to do anyway. You have been trusted so give her your opinion and don’t pull ur punches. Maybe make sure she doesn’t vape too much MG and make her see it costs money and wouldn’t she rather buy clothes etc. Give her the wise advise she can’t think of for herself

Is she using the vape? If so her dad needs to know. That or just talk to her about how dangerous it can be and make her give it to you

don’t be the parent in the situation. Talk to her and tell her that you really care about her safety, and that it’s illegal for her to have and you are concerned of her well being. Tell her she can either give it back to her friend that gave it to her, or she can give it to you between you two. If she doesn’t want to do either of those things, then tell her you have no choice but to involve her parents in this because it’s not something that you can take care of alone

1 Like

I would explain to her that 1) it’s actually illegal for a 15 year old to vape and 2) explain the damages it can do to her body, you have to decide if you want to punish or just forget it and let her do whatever. However I would mention it to her father or mother because if something happened to her they are the ones who have to make legal decisions.

Talk to her about your concerns. It sucks but if you say something she’ll never trust you with anything again. Be open and honest about what you feel, think about it. Look up info and talk to her. If it was something bigger I would sacrifice friendship for parenting tho.

Also untill 18 … IMPV… You are a parent… not a friend … for I get being a step parent is hard…I have 13 step kids… but you can’t treat them different then you would your own cause they will (in my case) take that and run and blame you for anything cause you picked your kid or an another adult over them cause “your friends”

If she can’t do it in front of her dad, then she shouldn’t be doing it. PERIOD. AIN’T NO FRIENDS. You going to cause problems with your husband and her Momma! You better Step up and put the line in the sand. Be firm, let her know you love and care about her but this is not flying with you. Get a backbone before you be in more hot water than that child.

Parents should have already discussed that.
She knows give her trust and respect to decide on her own.
She will not do it may try but will just put away.
If not sit down and explain the damages with books or Dr’s.
Advice .
Kids truly don’t know.
When kids come to you thats great
Just explain to her they not good for her and why.
Don’t scold
She sounds like a pretty smart kid.

Eh that’s a no from me. She’s way to young. As a mom who is divorced from my kids dad, and their is another woman in their life, you should not keep secrets from her parents. You’re there to set a parent example, so you need to parent first and friend second.

If she was your biological what would you want. As a parent, we spend a lot of time with our kids upset with our boundaries. Don’t start keeping important things from her dad. What if he found and she told him that you knew and didn’t say anything (which teens are keen on doing when they get caught up) then, how do you look to him? Just tell her, I that you don’t think those are safe and talk to her dad about it. Yall don’t need to go hollering and carrying on…but definitely address it. You’re a parent now. Not a buddy…some talks about boys or girls stuff you keep between you two. Not bad habits that could lead to other things. It’s ok for her to be mad. She will learn to trust that you will do what’s right.

I would discuss this with her parents then all of you come to an agreement on what should be next. If this was my son and his step mom kept this from me I would be furious. I’m js as a parent. I’m also a step parent and I would definitely discuss this with her mother and father and figure out the next move or ideas on what to do.

Less dangerous than smoking unless you live in America then big tobacco says its worse… I say let the kid do it at least she is being honest with you and not trying to hide anything. Dont betray that trust because when she starts doing other sketchy stuff she wont trust you enough to tell you if she gets in trouble or some other problem. She is a teen and i remember one thing about it. If I was going to do something I did it.

My kid said same and also kids are snorting shit up their noses at Fairmont park ,my daughter had to end a friendship cuz she was not comfortable with that she said ,so if anybody has kids at Fairmont and the kids are hanging out at the park ,heads up they are doing that and a lot more at that park I have had to call the principal down to talk to these kids and how dangerous this is getting with drugs and vapes !!! Who knows what they are putting in their bodies!

Personally I think it all depends on how she handled the situation. Did she do anything with the vape or say no thanks and hand it back? Her father should at the very least know because he has a right to (leave it up to him if the mother needs to know. I think she does but I don’t know your situation).
Make sure she knows that it’s illegal for her to have a vape at her age and the consequences of not only possessing it but also using it.

If she is getting legitimate juice from a store whether there is nicotine in it or not its not dangerous the kids that got hurt and collapsed lungs using vapes that had juice in it that wasnt regulated if that makes sense

My god i freaked out when my daughter told me 2 girls in her school grade was vaping??? Seriously 12 years old i just couldnt believe it :woman_facepalming:t2:

You tell her they are dangerous and cause a plethora of health conditions and you can’t just let it be without warning her because you care about her and her well being. Then you let it be. Because you can’t do anything more.

I’m not saying it’s good or bad. But if it’s something she continues with, get proper education on the batteries. If they aren’t maintained properly they can blow. It’s NOT common you just need to take care of them.

Did she try it or was it just given to her and she told you because she choose not to partake? Did you take the vape away? If so those things will always find their way into the school id educate her on the dangers of them and leave it at that

Here’s an idea. Read the label and find out what’s in a vape. Research the damage that can be permanently done to a young person’s lungs. Then, present your findings to your child as if to an adult, with the exception that he or she is forbidden to use one until of age, just like cigarettes or any another controlled substance. How the kid feels is moot. Your job as a parent is to make decisions that they are not mature enough to yet.

Very dangerous. Talk to her yourself and say how bad it is for her. If it happens again tell her you will tell her Dad

Regardless you should be talking to her dad. But I agree u should ask follow up questions. Did u take it. What did u do with it. She is a kid and will get over it. You need to be a mom first and foremost. Obviously you are concerned and do not feel right about it so when it’s serious like this you best believe the right thing is usually the hardest choice. U have to talk to ur husband ask him what he thinks let him know u were asked to not say anything. And maybe he can talk to her or her mom and even say he over heard it because then it’s not on you but the situation is being taken care of! Atleast that’s what my sister does when my neices come to me sure I don’t wanna break their trust but I also have to draw a line when it’s something so serious. Smoking vaping drinking skipping school ect is all something that needs to be corrected asap.

Ummm when it comes to sex,drugs,alcohol, and nicotine then it is your job to say something and be a parent. It may not stop them but it could help them realize it’s not worth it to start.

There’s a reason they are supposed to card your to buy vapes, cigarettes, and other tobacco or nicotine products. They aren’t safe for kids

A vape, can be dangerous If it is nicotine due to addiction possibilities or if it is being excessively used and is salt nic. The dangerous part of vaping on the news last yr was due to fake marijuana cartridges that had vit e oil in them I believe it was. So it wasn’t the actual nicotine juice. Nicotine juices are being heavily regulated now with a new bill that came into effect these past few months so the juice if nicotine and bought from a vape shack is not dangerous in the effect that they will need hospitalization. Just in addiction standpoint, or excessive use of salt nic juices can cause a bunch of issues as well. I also recommend making sure nobody smokes a juul which is salt nic, it made me extremely ill from using it excessively and the most addictive thing I’ve ever used.

So I don’t have an older daughter but I have an older cousin that has confided in me about things and I really try to use reverse psychology :sweat_smile: she looks up to me so I always talk about drugs being stupid and making you homeless and give her better alternatives. Smoking weed isn’t as bad just don’t make it turn you into a noob and such. I would just talk to her, my cousin asked if I could buy her a vape and I flat out told her no and that if I did she would end up with a hole in her throat talking like the lady in the commercials lol

Coming from a remarried mama, if my husband knew my child was doing something illegal and didn’t tell me we would have a serious issue. That’s a trust in my relationship not so easily gotten back so be careful there. Depending on your partner they could see that as an overstep as well. I trust my husband to make parental decisions but if your choosing to allow a minor to harm themself your not acting as a parent.
Now on another token I was the teenager who did drugs, smoked, did everything I shouldn’t of. My mom was insanely strict. I spend most of high school in some form of jail or treatment for addiction… I can’t tell you how much I hated my mom then. I ALSO CANT TELL YOU ENOUGH, now, HOW SHE SAVED MY LIFE. I know this because I’ve had many of my close friends die since because no one wanted to be the bad guy who’s kids hated them. My little sister took the same road and my mom chose to not come down on her. Guess which one of us is a success and which one is still homeless and doing drugs well into adulthood? I understand nicotine isn’t the end all for many ppl but this is the time to make a choice about which parent you’ll be. You can’t be both and those saying you can either got extremely lucky with their kids or don’t really have any. You can be their friend and their parent when they are grown. That’s the time for that.
I say tell your partner! And have a serious talk about the choices she’s making and the friends she’s hanging around because you become the company you keep.

My friend works at a school and caught a kid w a vape n when the police tested it it came back as meth so I would definitely be on top of that situation

Dangerous or not… illegal for her age. And if she has it in her possession and she’s with an adult …IN SOME STATES the adult gets a charge

We don’t know whether she is with you save the father at all times or with her mother most times so it’s hard to say as she is your stepdaughter.

So are you her mom or her best friend? As a mother and a step mother, I would 100% not be okay with my 15 year old vaping.

Honestly, I’m a stepmum to two now twenty odd year old girls. When they were younger they told me things they didn’t want either parent to know and it was always responded to with advice, guidance. I didn’t break their trust because they wouldn’t tell me anymore if I did and they confided some pretty heavy stuff. I spoke to their dad about the topic of me telling them things a long time ago and his exact response was 'Don’t. If they feel you are someone to confide in who’ll be a mother figure when giving them advice, then don’t ruin that. At least we know they seek out someone to talk to about this stuff that isn’t a friend of the same age."
If she is confiding an experience, and opened an avenue to talk about it then be a stepmum. Give the advice. Teens will do what they want to do whether their parents approve or not. If you tell and it escalates to drama, they won’t tell you anything worse when they need real help.
Vapes are rife among teens although most of them are using the non nicotine flavours. It’s not ideal and for most its a trend to look good or feel they fit in. Same as smoking, trying other things. There’s no specific data to say if non nic vaping is harmful yet and overall studies have shown nicotine vaping is less harmful than cigarettes. Although in 2018 they found inhaling vape (non nicotine) can cause lung inflammation and sore throat. So it’s not ideal.

I wouldn’t LOSE MY CHILDS TRUST FOR ANYTHING! But i would say def dont do it honey its bad for you. What good comes out of smoking? Let her make the choice

You need to bring it up again and tell her you’re concerned. Google the dangers and show her. Tell her you love her and wouldn’t want anything bad happening to her. Tell her you don’t want to have to tell dad but if it’s a safety concern and you think she’s going to continue to do it then you’ll have to. On that same note you probably should tell dad if you can tell him without him flipping out because it is his daughter and it may cause problems if you keep him out of the loop and he finds out on his own. That’s a difficult situation because she feels comfortable confiding in you but you have to let her know it’s not acceptable behavior. I’d also tell her that’s no friend!

Tell her not to start. Tell her they are dangerous . Look up and give her the stats on.how many teens who vale end up with severe lung problems some so bad they need transplants.

Cig vape or weed vape? Both are bad but obviously one is worse. It’s so common for kids to pass vapes around at school now this isn’t something I would break the trust over, there are way more important things you’ll wish she had told you don’t break the trust. Definitely tell her dad about it and you two can work it out so she won’t know you told him, that’s what my husband and I do with his kids.

Also I think that people saying oh don’t be to hard on her I understand to a point but it is against the law. She knows it’s wrong and that’s why she said don’t tell anyone. She is 15 still a child and has rules. This is where you set boundaries. We have a bunch of sh1t head teens running around getting into trouble because the parents don’t wanna be too hard on them putting a message out that yes this is wrong but it’s okay I don’t want to upset you so they don’t think about consequences because there are none. Would u rather her be mad at you or your husband for keeping secrets about behaviors that are not acceptable? I say tell ur husband she will get over it you know deep down inside what the right thing to do is.

Yeah throw it away. Nothing more. I don’t know about now but the chargers use to catch fire a lot when they charged. I could see that being an issue with teens hiding it behind stuff. I know my kid keeps an extension cord in his bed under stuff animals. It always freaks me out.

You’re her step mom not her friend, if it involves her health, you need to speak up!

Kids are going to experiment no matter what you say. As the parent you stick to your rules and expectations regardless of their reaction. It’s your job to teach them, guide them, keep them safe, and learn how to follow rules. Stand your ground on the issue and that can be done in a gentle yet firm way. Too many parents aren’t being strong for their kids and it shows. You are their parent first.

Similar senerio happen at a local school here. The vape had THC in it. Police was called in, all the parents. Definatly something to be concerned about.

You need to talk to her about it. Most vapes in the school are the THC ones.

In this situation I’d pick friend more, I was her at one point… and if you scold her she will only access more… safety and advice.

Educate her on it and tell her she is better than to pick up an addiction

Did she use it? What did she do with it?I’ve heard it’s a thing. I work for a school & we just had cops come with a k9… vapes were going around. They look innocent but are dangerous. I would have a task with her about smoking & the dangers.

Even therapists have to report certain things. This is a thing you’ll have to talk about to put a stop to it.

I personally say any thing to another adult tell her your concerns because if any thing more serious happens prob won’t tell you coz you betrayed her trust in you

As far as i knew vapes are made for to stop smoking. And if used in cortertly they can harm you

I was smokin weed at 12 … I think we all fail to realize that it’s 2021 & all the kids are vaping … there’s much worse things going on that kids are doing !

My step son did this and I told him in the future to not tell me anything he doesnt want his Dad to know. Then I told his Dad to discreetly approach it. You’re the adult not the friend.

Tell her father and decide together what to do. If my kids step mother or step father found it is want them to talk to me about

Did you ask her if she tried it, if she likes it and intends to keep it or didnt like it or what? Have an honest convo about the dangers and financial costs. Dont make it a forbidden fruit

Explain the pros and cons of smoking, and of vaping

Then see if she’ll say if her friend knows where she even got the vapes at, as you have to be an adult to purchase them?