I gave my baby up for adoption when i was 15 years old and i think about her all the time…i saw her once when she was a baby but her parents didnt wanna confuse her so i didnt see her again…they do keep in contact though and send me photos…she is about to be 10 years old and has been curious about me and i want to send her something for her birthday…something meaninful but i have no idea what…thoughts?
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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. What should I send my daughter for her birthday? - Mamas Uncut
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Mother and daughter pendant . Our something engraved that says always in my thoughts and my heart .
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Something engraved is always very special
A journal with an engraving
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Maybe there’s an adoptive journal you could fill out about yourself. You could include pregnancy stories and why you picked her parents.
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First find out if her parents want you to. Then ask them if you can send something and maybe make a small scrapbook about yourself
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i would ask her parents , it’s in their best interest to know what’s going on. thankfully my parents did that for me when my biological parents reached out.
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My daughter just turned 10 and I gave her this.
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Maybe a photo album. Pictures of you… biological family members etc… IF the adoptive parents are ok with that… I have a ten year old adopted daughter who is becoming more curious so this would be an appropriate age for something like that if the parents are on board
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Send her something of you, something that might have a family connection from you to pass to her.
Maybe a picture of you and a note she can open maybe when she’s 18 to help her understand the situation better 
And of course like a necklace. 
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Charm bracelet you can add to throughout life
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Maybe get ideals from her adoptive mom
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Do you have anything from your childhood you could send her? Along with another gift if you would like.
A very nice heart necklace
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Ask her parents first but maybe a book about mom or something of yours that’s special to you.
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Make her a photo album … from when you were a baby upwards then leave spaces for you both to make new memories xx 
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A locket with yalls pic in it if u have one
A family heirloom? a necklace with your birthstone and hers?
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Yeah definitely run it by her adoptive parents. Make it meaningful with something that you love that way she’ll remember or think of you when she sees it like a rainbow or a color or an animal something personal
I would have a Bear made , maybe out of something of yours ,and holding a heart . And a card that lets her know, she’s always in your heart and if she is ever thinking of you ,she can hug her bear and know that at that moment you’ll be thinking of her too,that you never stopped thinking of her ,and that you’ll always love her , she’ll forever be in your heart .
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I think a locket with a picture of you, or you and her when she was born in it.
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Maybe a lock it with your picture in it
There are a ton of companies that make personalized books, there are some about adoption where you can enter in info or what you want to say or even a message in the beginning or end. Also could do a heart charm necklace that way you both get one piece to share connection. Like stated above I would talk to the adoptive parents and make sure this is ok with them.
A homemade soft blanket
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Oh that’s a hard one I thought they didn’t wanna confuse her should U send anything
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Ask her adoptive parents first!
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A heart locket with your picture. Tell her she’s always been in your heart.
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Locket necklace w pic. Or scrapbook to see pics of u. Or family heirloom maybe? Maybe a personalized blanket even kinda a comfort item? Or build a bear 
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I would ask her parents if they are comfortable with you getting her something, if so ask for ideas from them, since they know her best
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I would have a conversation with her adoptive mom about this first and see what she would be comfortable with.
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Send her a journal. To write in. You keep one too. Write in it each day about you,her,your family. Your childhood. Tell her everything you would if she were there. give to her when she graduates high school. This way she will know you better than just meeting you. She will know some of yours and her history.
Also,remind her you both sleep under the same moon and stars. You are thinking of her always and will love her til the end of time
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A Pandora bracelet and then u can continue to send charms through different milestones of her life .
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As a child who was adopted, I wanted nothing more than a gift from my biological parents. But as an adult, I appreciate that my adoptive mom didn’t allow it. There’s a lot of heartache that comes along with the gift. And a whole lot of questions and self-hatred thoughts such as “why wasn’t I good enough or why didn’t they love me enough?” Not saying that is the case, but it might be more damaging to send something than not. Especially if you don’t have a relationship with her.
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Card with a charm (bracelet), dreamcatcher…something simple but thoughtful. She’s just 10, dont want to overwhelm her. Just my thoughts. Best wishes to you 
I’d personally do something like a pretty necklace. They have these cool ones where you hold them up and theyll show a special poem or message. Or those one bracelets you can little charms or brackets for. I really wouldnt do anything mother daughter centered bc adopted mom would probably be upset and then you risk not getting updates or pics. It’s sad to have to think this way.
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A memory book of you and your family members, show her what she doesn’t know about her bloodline… Or something special of yours.
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Yes, like others said, ask her parents first. Also, I don’t believe sending anything “mom” on it or hearts will be ideal. You are not her “mom”, just biological, that’s it. Her adopted mom is her mom. It would be so disrespectful to the actual mom to get her daughter something like that.
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A picture of you when you were 10 years old and a letter about the things you liked and what prices were back then, etc. Maybe your fave band, best friends name, likes and dislikes. I also like the idea of a photo album of immediate family members and a little bit of info about each person IF the parents are okay with it.
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Ask her parents…maybe bracelet where you can add a charm each year.
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A locket with a picture of you and a pic of her in it
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I’m not trying to rude or mean!!!
Okay I’m gonna be the rude one here because my aunt has adopted kids and so do I. 1 she isn’t your daughter anymore you gave up that right once she was placed up for adoption. 2 ask her mom permission first as they may not be comfortable with it. 3 if shes wondering about you make it something about you. A journal of why you gave her up, your situation, your thoughts while pregnant, the struggle of the choice you made. Include pictures so she knows your face. I’m not at all trying to be mean but if my daughter’s bio mom came around calling her her daughter I’d be upset as I’m her mom, I raised her I was there and made all the sacrifices. Before calling her yours please make sure her mother is okay with it. Giving birth doesn’t make you a mom, being a mom is being there, making the sacrifices, sleepless nights and long days.
A locket or bracelet
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You might want to ask her parents permission first! Do not cross boundaries! She is their daughter, whom they’ve been raising! It’s their call! As an adoptive parent myself, if you make contact or send gifts without my permission and without discussing it with me FIRST as her mother, then you’d be cut out and a restraining taken out. Might sound harsh but it’s not your call, you said they don’t want to confuse her so honor that!
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I would talk to her parents first. Find out if it’s okay with them because everyone handles situations like this differently
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A photo locket would be cute
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A necklace or build a bear
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Send fun stuff from Claire’s. Some items with her initials., journal, necklace, hair stuff, jewelry.
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A locket with your picture in it.
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Draw her a picture of things. Flowers, rainbow, hearts, stars, things you like.
Send her nothing, you gave her up and leave it at that.
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Do you know much about her? Maybe a charm bracelet with her favorite things? Oh, or a charm bracelet with some of your favorites, or yours and hers together even? You can keep adding to it forever. You could buy it now anyway and if the parents don’t want you to send it, just continue adding to it until she’s 18 or comes to find you. If you have pictures from her birth, there’s lots of things you could have made.
She probably doesn’t have much real jewelry, you could buy her a necklace or ring with her birthstone. Engrave it with something special or her birthdate.
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As an adoptive mom the one thing I’ve asked my kids birth family for is family history.
Like a family tree. Along with letters to them and like about their pregnancy and birth and for the time they had them when they were little.
(My husband is related to the kids.)but I’ve even sent them books bc they said they’d do it and never have.
But I wanted these for the kids along with pictures for the kids so bad. Bc my oldest always had so many questions and he’s the only one we weren’t related too.
But sadly none of my kids birth parents wants anything to do with my kids.
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I’m sure she would love to know about your likes and interests… but together a scrap book of all about you in it… likes/dislikes/accomplishments/dreams/aspirations etc… then you can get hers special necklace/bracelet/ring of something so she can wear it at all times.
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A blanket with her name embroidered on it?
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I think charm bracelet would be nice and that way every holiday u can send her anther charm to go on it. But diff ask adopted parents 1st. I adopted children myself just including them will help them feel ok about all this too. It’s hard for them as well I’m sure. Good luck.
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You say she has been curious about you? Did her parents tell her she was adopted? Im sorry, im just wondering since you said you’ve stayed away, it was an odd statement. In regards to your question, ask her parents what would be appropriate.
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Do you know what she likes?
I’m an adoptee and the truth of the matter is that you are her mother as well. So don’t let anyone make you feel less than for that. Anyway. If she’s curious of you give her a memory book of some kind with all your family and ancestry information. Your favorite colors, songs, bands, style of clothing. What you were like as a kid. What your parents were like and grandparents were. A book of all the stories you love. Any and all info that you might not think she would like to know. As an adoptee I wanted medical and family history. I wanted to know my lost family. Also. Adoptive parents should listen to adoptees. If they want to alienate their kids, then keep them from their blood family. Most every adoptee I’ve heard from they are curious. Only a insecure person is worried about “crossing lines” with contacting “their” kids. Adoptees are humans, not possessions. We are not a cure to infertility or a present to be opened.
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I would first talk to her parents before you send her gifts. And I would avoid anything from “mom”. She already has a mom. After you talk to her parents I would determine what if anything, is an appropriate gift for her. A nice bouquet of flowers would be lovely if gifts are approved.
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A build a bear
No joke. Everyone, esp little kids love build a bears. Go thru and pick the one that feels right. Make the wish on it’s heart super meaningful. Pick out clothes that just speak to you. Then write a little note explaining all the choices you made about it and why.
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Maybe a necklace with a charm heart, you could put a photo of when she was a baby and a photo of you in so she knows she was always in your heart?
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I’d do like a pandora charm bracelet and every holiday/super special occasion, send her a new charm!
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Talk with her adoptive mom first
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A locket….
And as the momma of 2 adopted boys who were kept from me, who are now 17 and 18 and hate me without even knowing me… do everything you can to be in her life if you can be! I wish I had fought harder but i didn’t want to disrupt their lives. Now that they are grown, they think it was my choice and resent me for it. Do what you can now!
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Personally, I love the jewelry options for daughters on the Bradford exchange. Also, maybe a snow globe that plays a song with a personalized message on it? Include a hand written note.
Thank you for making a hard decision at young age. You gave her life with another family. God bless you! Tell her about you ,medical history and a scrap book of your life &then some gifts that she has interest in.
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Are her parents okay with it?
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I would do a charm bracelet with one charm, a family tree… and a note saying something about “a branch to your heart” lines. Each Birthday you can send her a new one to let her know you care. Maybe the next one being her birthstone with a note about her birth. Just a suggestion. That way it’s not trying to impose on her relationship with her adopted family.
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Matching bracelets or anklets
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But it would be a good idea to ask permission of the adoptive parents first.
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Shes 10, keep it simple. Family history etc is great for when she’s older but at 10, she’s likely to go “ooo ahhh” for an hr or 2 and then push it aside. Keep the personal details for her 16th when she’s mature enough to appreciate and process it.
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A nice necklace with a meaningful charm
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If she is curious about you that means that she knows that she has two moms ( the adoptive one and you )Have you meet her ? It’s a possibility for you to go visit and spend a date with her and her family ? I do not think that any material thing will be more thoughtful than knowing you ,maybe a letter or as many had suggested a necklace or a bracelet with a forever love charm .
I will talk to her parents and ask just out of respect and to avoid any confusion about your intentions ( I’m just saying this because we do not know how is your relationship with her parents ) if you have a good one they will help you out
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A special porcelain doll
Maybe a family heirloom (for her parents to put away obviously) and a heartfelt letter (age appropriate of course) to explain why you decided to give her to them
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Possibly reach out to her adoptive Mother and ask her if she would be comfortable with you sending her a gift. If she’s ok with it, ask her about some of her interests and ask for ideas. If her Mother decides it’s not best to send anything, unfortunately, you should respect that decision. You don’t want to jeopardize potentially having a relationship with either of them in the future. It’s a tough thing to swallow and follow through with, but important. As a woman who has given a child up for adoption, the child’s mental well-being is always the focus. Best of luck to you 
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A photo album with identification so she knows who’s who 
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Talk to her parents. First find out if they’re ok with you be sending her a gift. Then find out what to shes into. Then go to Etsy. You will many special gifts there.
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Maybe open a trust fund for her
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A pic of you…at 10 yrs old! Maybe a locket that holds a pic or two. Maybe a letter of love.
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They have friendship lamps where when you’re thinking of them you touch your lamp and hers changes colors to.let her know you are think of her and vice versa kind of a way to always be there with out being there
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What about a scape book with pics and a little bit about each member of your family and a special letter from u in it
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I would send her a picture of yourself and a letter telling her a little bit about yourself she’s going to be 10 so make it age appropriate but that would be meaningful and I’m sure she would appreciate it especially since you said she’s curious about you
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My mom gave my brother and sister up for adoption. They also sent pictures and letters to us. We would send letters, pictures, I would make them little crafts, my mom would draw them pictures etc.
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A Birthstone necklace or ring . Pics of Bio family.
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A necklace with a heart pendant
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A necklace, a letter from you, photos of you
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A locket with your picture
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ask her adoptive parents
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If that was me I wouldn’t do anything before talking to the adoptive parents. Just because she’s starting to ask questions doesn’t mean they are ready for you to be involved
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You need to ask her parents. It should be their call.
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I would ask her parents first if that would be ok.
If you’ve gone pretty much no contact and you decide to send a present, she’ll be utterly confused. Especially if she doesn’t know who you are.
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How about you start a chest of things for her. I do not feel you should send anything right now, she is too young and her parents don’t seem okay with it. But they are keeping you updated and maybe at a later time when she is older they will feel okay to explain things. So maybe make a chest of jewelry, home furnishings, pictures, etc… For now. That way when she is older and can understand more, you have things she can use.
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I am a firm believer that every child has a right to know who their biological parents are…not everyone feels the same way…but out of respect… Yes…you should see if the adoptive parents are on board with you sending her something etc. I don’t think you should just sending something without them okaying it first…Does she even know she is adopted? Because if not…your going to need her parents to be on board for it to be In her best interest in the long run of things…especially at the young age of 10…
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Small family album with history of where she came from
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I’m assuming she’s already discussed this with adoptive parents or she wouldn’t be asking what to send?
Her question was what is something meaningful she can send?
I wouldn’t send anything personal about you unless the parents said it’s okay… for a 10 yo that’s a tough one. Maybe a small gold necklace with her name or initials or a locket with a special newborn photo of her?
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A letter with a necklace. Maybe her birthstone or something.
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A piece of jewelry that she’ll wear forever and keep close.
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