What should my fiances kids call me?

My fiance and I have six children between us (4 from me and two from him. None together). My kids call him DD instead of dad. My question is, what could his kids call me? I don’t want them to call me by my first name because I have a soon to be two years, and I don’t want to confuse him and have him end up calling me by my first name because they do. I respect their mother and do not wish to have them call me anything close to mom. Just something other than my first name. Any suggestions?

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GiGi. But may sound like a grandma name.
Maybe have kids think of a name.

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My step daughter calls me by my name. I have a one year old. We’ve already begun the ‘difference’ talk. She also has a step dad and step brother.

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Your regular name and explain the difference to your child

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Mine calls me Tiffy and gets mad when other kids call me that :joy:

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I let my bonus daughters decide. They called me by name till they decided they wanted to call me mom.

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My fiancé’s daughter calls me Ashley. I’ve known her over 7 years. I’m totally fine with it. It’s her choice. Oh. We also have 3 children together and they have NEVER been confused about what to call me. Ever.

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my steps call me by my name. but I call them bonuses.

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Jessica, thats what my step kids call me, and my name is Monica. Leanah

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Whatever is natural for them

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My oldest calls my husband Jordan and dad. It hasn’t confused our 20 month old. Just let them decide what they wanna call you! She started calling him dad once she was ready but still calls him Jordan on occasions

Kids dont get confused by other people calling you by your name. Literally nobody else they ever know calls you Mom…they understand.

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I seriously doubt them calling you by your first name will confuse your little one. He already knows your his mom. Other adults will call you by your first name and that won’t confuse him so why would it confuse him if other children do?

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Your kid would probably be fine, and it’s good for them to know your real name in case of emergencies!!!

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Whatever they are comfortable with, all my kids called me by my first name at some point and I dont have step kids. I taught them too in case they ever get lost or happens they wont tell people my name is mom or mommy they actually atleast know my first name.

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Children learn quickly what to call the different people in their life. They should call you by your name unless you have earned a pet/living name.

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I grew up with my dad and step mom and always called her mom or mommy because she raised me since I was 5 years old and she was always more of a mother to me then my biological mom. Its whatever the kids decide to call you unless you wanna talk with your husband and the kids mom see what they say

My name is Tara, and my bfs daughter has always called me Tata.

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What about Mimi?! Mimi and DD! :joy:

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Kids really know and see more than what we give them credit for. My bonus daughters call me mom by their own choice of course but his ex wife refers to me a momma missy especially to their younger sister she has. Maybe something of the sort. I know you said you were uncomfortable with any form of the name mom but do consider how much of an influence you are to them.

They can call you bonus mom.

You dont really have a right to any other name but your first unless they choose something 🤷

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make a nickname from your name! My stepson calls me “KeKe” my name is Kennedy!

My step kids call me my name, I told them they can call me whatever they want, id never force them to call me anything they didnt want to. My 4 year old will slip and call me becca but ill just correct him and say “who am i to you?” And he will immediately say “mommy”. :joy:

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My step daughter calls me Amiee or step momma, always been her choice, however my daughter has called me Amiee a few times and I had to correct her but she knows better now.

Wouldnt it confuse your baby even if they called you something different? You ok with your son calling you anything but your real name? Just curious how that would work cuz you dont wanna confuse your son . I dont think it would matter if they called you your name honestly. Even if you choose something different it’s still gonna be something other than mom so just keep it simple and just use your name in my opinion. I mean then your child would call you mimi or whatever lol n I think it’s best if your child learns your real name too n just let him know that to him your momma

I would just have them call you by your name :woman_shrugging:t3::woman_shrugging:t3: there is always the chance that anything your step children call you your child will pick it up… Just do kind redirection :woman_shrugging:t3::woman_shrugging:t3: So if they call you “Stepy” your 2 year old could still start calling you “Stepy” instead of mom

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Ask them to each pick something & vote on it

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You don’t tell them to call you anything. If they wanted to they would. If my step mom had told me to call her something else I would likely have been insulted🤷‍♀️

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Your two year old will call you whatever nickname they chose just as easily as they would if your stepkids called you by your name. Let them chose and then just teach your two year old that they always call you mom. This is with any relationship :woman_shrugging: my husband refers to me as honey, so my 4 year old called me honey today. Aunt Kirsten is an adult that we call Auntie, but his teacher is Miss, not Auntie

Ask them what they want to call you.

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Talk to the children’s mother, and see if she has any suggestions.

My bonus kids just call me by my name and my 2 almost 3 year old doesnt call me by my name

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If u and the kids mother get along well enuf u cld leave that one up to her. Just let her know it’s bc of the baby I’m sure she wld understand since she is a mother herself.

Momma… why not just mom. You dont have to take there mothers place they. Could call you mom jr.

I have two bonus kids who call me my first name. My 2 year old only occasionally calls me Tonya but since my step kids refer to me as mommy when they are talking to her it’s not a big deal. My rule is they can call me what ever they feel comfortable with as long as it is respectful.

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What’s wrong with calling you by your first name? They have a mother, therefore they don’t need to call you anything but your name.

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My step son called me mama Vandy. I do not allow children to call an adult by their first name alone.

My son calls his step mom… Mama Susie…

The kids in the neighborhood call me mama V…

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Your name until they (if they) decide to call you something else.

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I wouldn’t expect my mans son to call me anything but by my name. If my son does it id just correct him, even my son calls my mom “mama” from time to time cayse he hears me call her mom. Then my mom just corrects him 🤷. Just correct your little one. My son is almost 2.

My kids call their step mom miss shanice. My step kids call me by my first name.

Just call you by your first name make it easy on them

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By your name or what they chose ,I don’t reckon it confuses your own

I call my step mom by her name ive known her since i was 7… my father and step mom ended up having two boys and they call her mom

I have 3 children of my own and 4 step children. My youngest was 2 when we began our family and I have never asked my fiancé’s children to call me mom. Our babies know who their momma is and while my little one has called me by my first name, it has only been less than a handful of times in the last 2 years. I just remind her that I’m mommy to her and we go about our day. I don’t think we give little ones enough credit sometimes. I really think this concern is unnecessary and you should put your mind at ease.

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Depends what your name is maybe a nickname version?

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Been here. I have a 1 yr old step daughter who calls me Emmie and sometimes momma but with the older ones 6&8 I let them choose. They live with us full time and mom’s not really in the picture but I just found it easier on them to choose what ever makes them comfortable to call me

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Let them come
Up with a nickname, have that talk and involve them. Or just as they want to call you. Never ask them to call you mom.

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They choose not you, so your first name until they decide they wanna change it.

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My younger brother was two when my dad and stepmom began exclusively dating and they got married a few years later. She was his daycare teacher so it was just natural that he called her Ms. Bonnie. Her kids never got confused and it never bothered her. It’s great that you’re respecting the mother and that is very mature of you. If it would help, maybe you and her could talk about it together?

What ever they want to or feel comfortable with. Not really up to you

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My boyfriend has two kids and when we first started dating I always corrected them when they called me mom. I felt like it was disrespectful to their mother, whom I’ve known for ATLEAST 12 years now. I was there when their youngest was born. Not just at the hospital but IN THE DELIVERY ROOM. (Hell be 10yrs next year) Then they started calling me stepmom. Which I told them wasn’t entirely accurate since their father and I aren’t married. But that one seems to have stuck. Every once in a while they still call me mom but it doesn’t bother me anymore. Their mom and I still have nothing but love and respect for each other and shes always quick to say how highly the kids talk of me and how much she appreciates my role in their lives. Between that and numerous talks with their father about how I should just let them call me whatever they prefer, I’m no longer bothered when they call me mom, but rather thrilled that they think that highly of me.
I say, let them call you whatever comes naturally to them. There’s no reason to add confusion by correcting or insisting on another nickname.

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My kids always called my husband by his name and when we had 2 together they called him daddy. They never got confused. Also, my kids called their step mom by her first name and she had a 1 and 2 year old at the time (as well as 3 older) and her kids always called her mom.

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They can call you whatever they want; that’s their choice/comfort level, not yours. Your own kids won’t be confused, you have friends and family members that call you by your first name and they still call you Mom…no different.

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My stepdaughter just uses my name. I never thought to do anything different and my kids just use their stepdad’s name.

Ask them what they feel comfortable with

Use your initials twice, like your fiance. AA or BB, etc

Have them come up with a nickname

I’ve got 4, he had 2 and I had 1 before we had 1 together. I’ve been around since one of my bonus was born. They call me Jay. Both of mine have asked why they call me Jay, I explain they have a momma, I’m their Jay. It’s still special and kids are smarter than we give them credit for

My step daughter calls me Steppy. Combo of step and mommy.

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I don’t know why everyone is having an issue with this question. She doesn’t want them to call her mom because she’s afraid of overstepping. And of course she doesn’t want them to call her by her first name, those are her kids, because they are a family. Would you want your kids to call you by your first name? No you would not.

To answer your question mama, maybe take your name, and make a nickname only they call you. Like if your name starts with a K they could call you Kiki, or something like that!

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So what are you going to do?.sit them.down and say you can’t call me.by first name you must call me…? Strange. Your youngest will call you mum. You correct the little one.

That’s rude af. They should call you by your first name, unless they choose otherwise.
My son calls his step dad by his name. He also calls his step mom by her name.
I call them both bonus dad/bonus mom because that’s what they are.
I’ve known my step mom since basically birth, and I call her by her name as well.
I don’t think you should make the kids feel like that have to call you anything other than your name. That would make them feel uncomfortable, in my opinion.

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It’s not really up to you. They should choose what to call you. If they want to address you by your name then so what. If your youngest starts to call you by your name just correct it and say no I’m mom

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I knew someone who ended up being called “smom” as in step mom. It worked for them.

My kids call me Mama and my step kids since they are older they call me Ma.

They will chose what they want to call you. My daughter calls my boyfriend daddy and decided to do that on her own

They should call you by your name.

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I have 6 as well 3 for him and 3 for me they call me by name or the youngest calls me mom but we have custody of them all

I’m so confused. But first of all I LOVE THAT YOU RESPECT THEIR MOM! You just don’t hear people say that very often. My question is, if you’re worried about your baby calling you something besides mom, how would it make a difference in what they call you? He’s going to pick up on it. My bonus kiddos have always called me Brandi or when introducing me to their friends, it’s “this is my step mom.” :joy: Don’t force anything on the kids, just take it day by day. Your baby will still call you mom either way. Good look and congrats! :heart: *Brandi

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Do you have a name that can be made into a cutesy nickname? My mom is named Judith but my kids call her Juju (she’s my stepmom). FYI I call my stepmom mom and my real mom doesn’t mind because my stepmom is very much my mom. Also my son who’s fully my flesh and blood has called me Stephanie ever since he learned my real name isn’t mom so sometimes you can’t help it lol.

Aunt (insert name). I don’t know your own culture but African culture here in Nigeria you don’t call anyone older than you with 5years with dia name we call them bro/sis. Anything more than 5years we call them Aunt/Uncle. We call our Mum friends Mom and our Dad friends Daddy. I think it very disrespectful to call you with your name as you are taking the role of their mother

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My kids came up with the name smom for their fathers 2nd wife.

My kids have an amazing step mom…so when my son was smaller he asked if he could call her mom…without any hesitation I said of course…come to find out he said “mom you are my MOM… and she’s M.O.M!..which stands for My Other Mom…

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I had a step dad and stepmom call my stepmom by her name my step dad’ dad . My mom and my stepdad had kids my dad and my stepmom had kids don’t remember any of the kids ever having a problem

Join a step mom group!!!

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That makes zero sense let them call you by first name

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You youngest is going to pick up on what ever they call u regardless… That’s up to you to explain but I’d be letting them choose what to call you… Bit strange telling them they have to refer to you as a specific name but you don’t want them using your actually name.

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My step kids call me Crystal and my daughter calls my husband by his name. My stepson was 1 when we started dating and he has only called his dad by his first name a few times but we corrected him every time.

I would think that it should be their decision what they want to call you. My step son calls me by my name and I also have a 2 year old. If he calls me something other than mommy we will address it and give it time but your step kids shouldn’t have to call you anything they don’t want to because you don’t want them to

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Your name is fine. My son is 3. I have two step children. They call me Anna and my son calls me momma. Reiteration and explaining help. The kids will say, go tell momma. But refer to me as Anna when they talk to me or others. Its not difficult!

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My step kids call me mom but when their bio mom and I are together or if they are talking to someone who is family etc they call me momma T to distinguish with mom they are talkimg about lol. Thier mom and I are friends and she was ok with them calling me that. The kids asked her themselves and I made it clear long ago I would not and will never try to take her place. We have a great relationship.

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Your name is what they should be calling you. You will have to explain the difference either way.

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Maybe they can call you a nickname. I know a couple where one is Mommy/Mamí and the other Mom. Another option may be to use the name from another language.

My daughter was two when my now-husband and I started dating. I introduced him to her using his first name, and over time she started calling him his childhood nickname that close friends and family called him. Eventually when she was about 4-5 she would call him daddy every once in a while, like she was trying it out to see how we would react. She’s 9 now and he is Daddy all the way, and her bio dad is Dad. I think the most important thing is to let them figure it out and do what feels right to them. As your bond with them grows over time they may very well want to call you some version of “mom” while still having a solid mother/child relationship with their bio mom.

My 2 stepson call me by my name I have children who are 2 4 and 6 they all call me mum and know I’m not my stepsons mum. I think your name will be fine x

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My SILs step kids call her “momma rachel”

Jimu have them call you Jimu (Chinese word for stepmom)

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What’s the difference in calling you by your first name or something other than mom? Your 2yo will end up calling you the other name and it’s up to you to correct him and teach him he calls you mom.

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My step children call me by my nickname
Then I had kids and they still call me mom
Sometimes they joke and call me by my nickname but they know it’s mom
I don’t think your child will get confused

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My older sister is 11 years older than me and has a different mom than I do. She was 4, I think when our dad and my mom got together so she always called my mom Mom and her mom Mom. Whenever I was around her mom, I knew she wasn’t also my mom but my mother also made it a point to teach me that she’s my only mom and will always be my only mom.

When our dad and my mom split up, he met another lady and married her when I was 16 years old. I call her by her first name because she had no real hand in raising me. I thought I was grown :joy:

I think it’s just more what the kids are comfortable with - my sister was comfortable calling my mom Mom but I’m uncomfortable calling my stepmother anything but her name. I’ve even tried and I don’t like it. :grimacing:

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I always called my stepmom by her name, her daughter never got confused by it, so long as you explain to them☺️ x

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I mean I can’t say definitely that your kid won’t call you your first name, but none of mine ever have. My 8&11 yos really just started to comprehend I’m Steph in addition to Mom. Mine are 4 6,8,11 they call me mom, my wife Maranda and sometimes Ma. They call their dad, dad :joy: and his wife Megan. Hell sometimes they call me and my wife Megan :joy: it’s an accident but :joy: they never call anyone mom or mommy intentionally though it slips occasionally. Idk what else they could possibly call you. My kids have never tried to call anyone other than my wife and I mom so it’s never been a big thing for them. We don’t coach them, they just say what they want. I wouldn’t love if they called their step mom, mom, but it’s never been an issue or come up so I don’t stress it because I wouldn’t make them stop anyway, they know how they feel about people.

Mine call me by my name or mom depending on the day and situation(we have been together 12 years now)

Have them use a nickname like MiMi or something if you don’t want just your first name :slightly_smiling_face:

I met my oh when step son was 1. He’s now 14 and was the only person in my life to address me all the time as Catherine. I never use my full name. Now how ever we have upgraded to “crazy caf”. :rofl: he decided what to call me not the other way around.

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My step daughter calls me “colie” just like everyone else does family/ friend wise and my daughter will sometimes say Colie but she is 2 and doesn’t understand who that is, she calls me mom otherwise.

Ask them if they are old enough… Give eachother nicknames

My husband’s kids called me momma Beck and the grandkids called me mamaw becky