Hi, I’m asking this question for a friend at work. He currently has an 8yr old son that lives in Tennessee and my friend lives in Florida. His sons mother is an alcoholic and is becoming progressively worse. His son tried calling him yesterday to tell him something happened and his son sounded scared. His sons mother interrupted the phone call and wouldn’t let them talk. Now she’s not letting him talk to his son at all. There is no custody agreement since they were never married but she did file for child support and he is current on that. I have him calling about legal advice today on how to get his son out of the situation but I don’t know if anyone has dealt with this before and can offer any advice. I just want to help his son and he’s worried for his son at this point.
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. What should my friend do?
Given the distance, might need to call either the school and have the guidance counselor talk to the child or child protective services
Have him document everything
Tell him to call cps on her.
Child protective services!!!
Call cps for a wellness check. Reach out to the sons school. Call a lawyer amd go visit the son
^^^ All of the above.
Any time something like this happens, you call the police immediately and demand a safety welfare check!!! This should be common sense!
He needs to go to the city where she lives and request a civil stand by while he goes to physically check on his child’s welfare at her house or he needs to get child protective services involved and ask them to do a welfare check for him as he is worried for his sons safety and essentially doesn’t have the right to just go and take his son. In this instance CPS can help him more than hurt him.
Call Child Welfare and have them to a welfare check on the child immediately. He could ask for immediate removal of this child in his mother’s care. Start getting this documented and then take legal action to get custody of the child.
Go pick the child up take him bk to ur house tel police n Solictor u are keeping him until a court date is set regarding custody
If he feels his son is in danger or at risk of being harmed he needs to report to child protective services. If there is family or a friend near by he should ask them to check in. And book a ticket to go see son in person, make sure he is safe
Maybe a call to Child Protective Services wouldn’t hurt.
Yes call the police department and have them go Dina welfare check but like asap.
Technically there is a custody/visitation agreement because that’s how they base child support on the number of “days” and income. He needs to petition that court in writing letting them know she’s withholding communication. And that’s something you can get in writing in a court order. If he’s concerned he should contact the child’s local protective services.
Get the wife’s local child welfare department involved!
Call CPS, get a welfare check
I would say get the guidance counselor AND leadership at his school aware, they will be able to provide ideas advice on next steps and whether they recommend him coming that way to get his son… Contact a lawyer ASAP and document EVERYTHING. He may want to start the process of custody etc as well. Blessings💗
When his son called…scared…he should have called local police for a welfare check. Why are people so afraid of that? He knew she was an alcoholic but has allowrd her to have his son…he should of immidately had an order in place…for custody visitation or her to get help. I dont get why people are afraid of using the courts. That’s what they are there for. My ex was abusive and I wasn’t afraid to use all my court and legal options to keep my child and myself safe
I personally would drive to my child’s home or school and put my eyes on my son and make sure he is ok. I was in this same situation up until almost 4 years ago, living two hours away from my son while his dad had custody. His alcoholism got worse and essentially his dad left him with his mom and I moved in with my ex mother in law so my son had at least one parent around. Sadly my baby daddy died almost a year ago which thankfully gave me my full custodial rights back after fighting to get my son back for almost 6 years. Just want to mention I was never deemed unfit, incapable or unwilling to raise my child. His father was a master manipulator, had the money for a lawyer, and convinced a few people to lie for him in court to make it look as if he had been the one raising our son the entire time when in fact I had done everything for him from the time he was born until his father and I split up. He was awarded custody based on all the lies and then essentially handed all responsibilities of raising our son to his mom and his new wife, a woman he met after we broke up, while still living in MY house and only married her the week before we went to court because his lawyer told him it would make him look better to the judge. The step mom also spent that entire time trying to convince my baby that she was his mom and that I only gave birth to him, like I was a surrogate or something. They tried to alienate me and essentially erase me from his life for almost 2 years. His father literally said he only wanted to gain custody to say he WON, and he said this to several people including in messenger to my sister the day he was awarded custody. In the end I got him back but not until after our son watched his dad drink himself into oblivion, beat the shit out of his grandmaw and step mom, and abandon him. Don’t let it go that long before he takes action.
He can always call the police to do a wellness check for short term. Best for him to get legal advice especially since its different states. He can always report this to social services and tell them he is in process of trying to get custody but he is fearful of his childs well being. Depending what is found, there could be weekly checks
Definitely contact the school and the guidance counselor see if they can talk to the child and call cps
Report abuse and neglect. File for full custody.
Poor kid. I agree with everyone else. Call CPS for a wellfare check. Im usually the one saying ‘no. Don’t jump the gun n call cps’ but in cases like this u gotta. U Kno something is wrong but have no clue what it is n the mom isn’t allowing communication so he’s gotta do everything in his power to protect his son. Which the being so far away calling cps is his only option to make sure he’s keeping his son out of harms way. I hope all turns out ok n that the child is safe for now
He needs to petition the court for custody asap
Call child services. And not anonymously
Cn he call and have a well check done?. If the child is with anyone other than mom, he can go get him. If there is no custody order he may have equal rights. Depending on your state.
Have him call the local police department for a welfare check
The father can call child services and the local police to do a wellness check.
He should have immediately called the police! Not go to work and confide in coworkers!
If he’s on child support he has paternal rights. Have a welfare check done and start filing for custody in the county his son lives in here in Florida.
I would advise the boy to call 911 as well and tell police to call my dad , and go get him , if there is no custody in place he can go and get him ?
Call police for well check
Personally I would have called the police and CPS to check on the child’s well being. Also file for custody through the friend of court
I hope the path to justice is swift and that his son is safe and well loved.
He sounds like he needs a family lawyer in this mess…so he can get custody and maybe prove she is an unfit mother
Call child protective services and maybe the school to give them heads up.
The most important thing said on this thread is to… go back and document EVERYTHING day,date,time, word for word, pics from social profiles,etc. from as far back as you can remember. THIS is what will help you in the long run!! Right now you can do a welfare check. Call his school and talk to a counselor to speak with him about what’s going on at home and from there IF there is any concern they will get the ball rolling!
He needs to call the police in the area and ask for an emergency wellness check. Depending on what they find during the check, CPS may be involved. Such a difficult situation for your friend, my heart goes out to them.
Contact legal aid. They will know what to do. Also get Cps involved. Do an immediate wellness check. Document everything. Facebook posts. A legitimate real reason and proof. They are required by law to follow up.
Call.local.police for welfare check
Call the police for a well check, then make a call to CPS
Contact or talk to police or child protection service get your child livening with you
I’d be calling for wellness checks
Idk how it is in those states but I believe in pa when neither parent has filed for custody, he can go and pick up the child and not be in trouble for doing so. Definitely get cps and cops involved if you feel child is not safe. The more marks on file the better it is for the dad to get custody.
Call cps and the police.
Call child services and file a report, that’s about all he can do from Florida. If they decide to remove the child from the home, he may be able to have him come live with him but I’m not sure since he’s out of state.
Call CPS and file a report you can also call the school and let them know what’s going on they will also do an investigation if he feels the child is in danger call 911 and have them go do a welfare check
Welfare check with child services
Keep a Diary of everything,
Get a well care check on them child ASAP
Call child protective services and inform his school of situation…good luck
He can call the sheriff’s office to do a wellness check and go from there
I’d call police and CPS for welfare checks. Then I’d arrange with legal aid an emergency custody order and go get them.
You can just go pick him up and take him home with you since there is no custody agreement. Well check from cops and child protective services will help but then you are at their mercy for decisions. Honestly I just go pick him up from school and take him home with you
Why is there no custody agreement and why is he living in another state? Long term, he should be filing for custody but living in another state away from his child isn’t going to make that easy. He should call social services or the police if he thinks his child is in danger. Don’t wait for something bad to happen.
He needs to get a lawyer and file an emergency custody petition,
Call Child protective services and also the police to do a welfare check!!
I guess a lot has to do with if the fathers name is on the birth certificate, and if he is on the child’s information at school. Get it in court their needs to be rules to follow. But it seems strange that there is no custody agreement if he is paying child support. I don’t understand how that can happen.
Well check and report to dhs. It’s literally all that can be done. About put of state if the child is taken from the home the child is then a child of the state (CINA- child in need of assistance) and can’t leave the state. The father would have to go to Tennessee if he doesn’t want the child in foster care if there isn’t a family member in the state to take the child. If and when the mother loses custody then and the case is closed then the child can leave the state. If he picks up the child without a custody agreement and there is paternity established then the father has all rights to the child and can go get the child. But he needs to talk to a lawyer about state lines as I don’t know how any of this will work in that case.
Send him a nanny cam in a bear or something where she won’t suspect then call CPS, tell him to tell the truth even if she threatens him.
Have him go file for emergency custody in the state the child resides in
Make sure he is documenting everything and as everyone has said, do a wellness check with DCS (thats CPS in our state). If he is contacting a lawyer as well he is doing the right things and that will look good for him to gain sole custody with what is best for the child. My best friend works for DCS so I heard of MANY cases. If the child is in deed in danger and needs to be removed immediately, he should be the first to be called, make sure he has immediate way to get to TN to get his son.
File for emergency custody pending a CPS investigation and a mental health and addiction screening. He is going to have to do that in the state the child resides. Being as he fears for his child’s safety the court is required to act. I would also suggest he request a guardian ad litem who will act on and speak on behalf of the child since he is too young to do so himself. Whatever he decides he needs to act FAST. Regardless of relationship status one should always have a legal custody agreement when the relationship between parents ends.
In the state of Georgia if the father is not legitimize or his name is not on the birth certificate he has no legal rights to that child even being on child support he needs to have a well check done and get cps involved before it does get worse though
First thing I would do is tell the school all about it they have cps that works there daily then call the police he can take him and nobody can do nothing sense it is no coustody involved and keep him then go file for coustody …They will drug and alcohol on every one first thing …then go from there …but if you can get him take him nothing they can do till court …good luck. prayers your way …
Good idea for immediate atty consultation! I would think child protective services might be of assistance too. This is sad. Does the mom have herself have any parents?
He needs to go pick the child up for a visit. Take the child to his home state and file emergency custody
Call the cops to do a welfare check
That is the best way to go! Get a lawyer and try to get custody. ￼
Can he call the local police there for a wellness check? Explain the situation?
He needs to do a wellness check, and he needs to go to court and do a custody arrangement. It doesn’t matter if you’re married or not, he has parental rights, and children support and custody/visitation are separate. If she’s the custodial parent with full custody at this point, if he were to take the child it would be considered kidnapping and he could go to jail. He has to go through the legal process and if she’s putting the child in danger he could file for emergency temporary custody first, then go before a judge. He needs a lawyer and to get things started.
He needs to contact DSS & file a complaint & an emergency custody order IN Tennessee. Sadly, bc the child is a resident, he can’t just take him. But he can do it legally.
Call the police in that area for a welfare check!! School check and yes get a lawyer!!!
First - call police for a welfare check, request a return call when they are done. Then get in the car and head to Florida
Call for a wellness check and call cps in her area. Also, file for visitation and custody arrangements. Obviously there’s an issue and this boy needs protected
Call CPS and the police
Please help right away. This just happened to a relative. They kept calling and it was too late. He was killed by his grand parents. Child abuse!
I’m going to get my kid.
Welfare and file for emergency
Call your local child protection agency and tell dad to file for an emergency order
Tell him to go get his son and he don’t have to give him back unless she goes to court
He needs to call CPS and the police, I’d be on my way there as well for that welfare check.
Go get the kid, file for emergency custody and file for permanent custody after that
Call CPS in her state and call the cops to do a well child check asap! He should have done that when his baby called.
He needs to go to the county where the child resides and file for emergency temporary custody. And present any and all evidence.
Ask cps to do a wellness check. Begin there. Or DSS. Even the area’s local police department.
He needs to get an attorney and have him file for temporary custody on the ground that the home he is currently in is unsafe because of mom’s drinking problems.
You have to have proof that child is in danger and not just she’s an alcoholic… being that he is in a diffrent state and can’t see if the kid is being abused. A wellness check and a call to CPS. Call the court house on her area and ask what you need to do next. Start texting her, see if she’ll slip specially when drunk. And that’s proof as well. There’s apps (some states u don’t have to tell the other your recording conversation… can Def. Record your son calls without permission.) Tell him to write everything down time dates he’s called and she denied him… tell him to call everyday. Text her EVERYDAY and seek out a lawyer.
Go to tn, and go to pick up the child with police and dfcs. Dfcs can investigate and do a temporary order if it’s needed. He will want a tn attorney as well.
If there’s no custody agreement how is he being forced to pay child support… These questions aren’t for fb
I would first call police for a will being check on the child Andi would file for emergency custody and go get him
If I were him I’d get my ass in the car and drive up to wherever they live in Tennessee and make sure that child is safe and well! And if you can’t do that then he needs to call the police and have them go check on that child
I would be on a plane so fast. Agree with everyone else, he needs to call the police and CPS immediately and inform them that his child attempted to inform him of some type of danger he’s in and now the son is cut off from communicating.
I’m IN Tennessee. They don’t play when it comes to children, at all. If you know what county the child is in then you need to call the police in his county for a welfare check (I was told any welfare check with a child involved gets added to cps and their involvement is up to them) AND call the local CPS office and ask them to do a welfare check as well based on the call received and that no one is able to contact the child now.
I would def be worried considering the child called and sounded scared. I’d have a child welfare check done to make sure he’s not in immediate danger. Tell them he is the father and if he needs to be removed he wants to take him into his home. I’d do that ASAP
He should have established rights or 50/50 custody in the beginning, going to be an uphill battle.
If he actually now has the drive to fight for his kid as well as the resources, he needs to get in contact with a lawyer that specializes in father’s rights.
If he’s not 100% motivated then he shouldn’t bother , tbh ounds like you’re more upset than him.
He’s probably seeking attention (petty) from you while covering the fact he is a shitty dad that should have fought for his kid from the beginning.
I agree with Victoria Evans.
Call CPS for a wellness check. Then automatically file for emergency/temp. Custody in the county the child lives in. You should be able to have those documents mailed or even emailed and then faxed back. The sooner the better. Also file a parenting plan so they can schedule a hearing. Keep track of every phone call. Every detail. Make sure you have proof. Depending on how old the child is, the judge may be able to speak to the child and get their testimony on the matter. Hopefully the mother hasn’t scared/manipulated the child into not talking.