What should we do?

l get paid over $ 153 per hour working from home. l never thought I’d be able to do it but my buddy makes over $ 18345 a month doing this and she convinced me to try. The possibility with this is endless.

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I wouldn’t ask her bc she may not give you the info if she doesn’t believe you. (Unless you have a DNA test)…is there a sibling* or parent* or cousin of bio dad you guys can reach out to and get this info? If so I would go that route.

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Dna test if proven then he needs to tell them/ask them about family history on his dads side. Good luck :crossed_fingers:

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She will need to know because of the settling of the dad’s estate. Give her time to grieve then break it to her

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l G­e­t p­a­id over $ 115 per h0ur working f­r­o­m h­o­me. l ­n­ever ­th­o­ught ­I­’d be able t0 do it but my buddy makes over $1969­7 a m0nth doing this and she convinced me to try. The possibility with this is endless.
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I say it’s not y’all’s place to tell her. Also trust me you really don’t need medical history anymore. Medicine is changing and so is the technology. Just let it be. Unless you need to ask then don’t. Let that man’s lie Rest In Peace

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I recommend finding a different family member of bio dad. Sibling, cousin, aunts/uncles, etc.

Waited til he was dead and now want to ask?
LET. HER. BE.
Why cause a woman more grief? It’s too late now. Find someone else to ask.

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I say leave the woman alone!!! You should have made contact with bio dad before his death.

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Throw a shrimp on the barbie

l get paid over $180 per hour working from home. l never thought I’d be able to do it but my buddy makes over $19306 a month doing this and she convinced me to try. The possibility with this is endless.

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Why would you open this door? Health problems come from everywhere. There is likely nothing that can be learned from exposing everyone

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He’s dead he doesn’t care. Get the info and move on. Let them deal with what they need to deal with.

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Why wait that long? Now your just gonna hurt the spouse. You had a chance to ask the man yourself. That’s on you all for waiting till he died. You should’ve confronted him years ago. Why worry about it now 40 years later? I think your just wanting to stir up trouble. Cause if it was for health reasons you would’ve asked years ago.

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Let sleeping dogs lay. Meaning let it be. Should have been done when he was alive.

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Not exactly what I’m going through but I’ve never met or seen my real dad either and I’m not trying to get any money or be hateful towards him he missed out on my life I didn’t miss out on his but I would really like to know my medical history of his side so I know what to expect when I get older

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Lifelong partner but not wife? Women are not stupid… I’m sure she knows he cheated in past. Keeping his son a secret his sons whole life that’s messed up. Who are you protecting? He’s dead… I mean how did she not know? That would mean your husband was not close to his dad at all and If that’s the case … really no reason to talk to her about it at all.

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I feel for this situation but it is important that he know this info

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After 41 years it just don’t matter. Let it go.

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Also… you don’t need to know his medical history. Leave it be. He should have tried being in his life years ago. If his dad is the one that didn’t want contact then your husbands mom should have handled things when he was a baby. Let the lady live in peace… if your husband doesn’t have his last name and they weren’t close then that could seem like your looking for more then medical info… like inheritance and could cause major problems. Just let it go. Now a days you don’t need to know all your families medical business…

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Do what you need to do for your family. Is the bio dad listed on your husbands birth certificate if so you can get into without involving the wife

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l get paid over $180 per hour working from home. l never thought I’d be able to do it but my buddy makes over $19306 a month doing this and she convinced me to try. The possibility with this is endless.

Go to This. https://AmazingWorking707.pages.dev/

Not everyone saying not to open that door . He didn’t give a shit when he cheated . Do it and who cares if you expose a cheater :joy:

I wouldn’t say anything. I would get a medical professional to do a medical screening of all medical issues possible, or do something like 23andme to get the information you’re seeking. I honestly wouldn’t say anything.

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Why hurt the poor woman more?

There’s a bunch of genetic testing he can get done on his own with out opening a wound on that poor woman in her time of grieving. Yall knew that was his dad well before he passed, you could have reached out to him then. Leave her alone.

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There is an option on ancestry DNA to find out what you’re susceptible to getting, what runs in your family.

41 yrs seriously should of ask the dad long ago about medical history. Lil late to worry now… I assume ya have kids already. If your husbands father signed his birth record you dont need his wife for info.

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Are you guys trying to get something from him now that he’s dead? I know your saying you need medical history, but you could have gotten it while he was alive if you were that concerned. Leave the grieving widow alone.

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this is good one - probably one of the best posts theyve shared in à while

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23 & Me and leave her be :pensive:

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What about the guy what about how he feels he’s human for 41 yrs he’s been a secret his mom should fix this not on FB I have been in a kind of similar situation.

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I wouldn’t tell her because I’m sure she will be mad and devastated. But as his child your husband can request a death certificate from the state his dad passed in which will give the cause of death.

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The whole point of this is not to expose the cheating aspect but there is potential for it. The point is to get medical history and learn more of the father outside of the negativity that he has given his son an those who have told him to speak up. This man knew of his son the entirety of his life. His son asked for medical information prior to his death on a number of occasions. The son approached the father when he was 18 to start trying to get to know him an was always shut down. The fathers primary fear was that his girlfriend would find out an that was why he didn’t give any information out. They were never married so whatever he left behind I’m sure will go in an estate sale. Which is fine bc none of that is what’s important. Medical information and learning of the man himself is what’s important. The potential for having a relationship with her is also important. Genetic testing isn’t full proof and is really only beneficial if you know both parents medical history to know what you’re looking for. There are children involved that this information may help bc they have unexplained health issues that are not linked their mother nor their fathers mother so it is possible that it is from their fathers bio father which is why he would like to know this information. An hopes to have a relationship with the girlfriend bc to her he had no family left and that’s why there was no funeral. So to learn of the son and his family may bring comfort to her to know he had family and he has grandkids.

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Are you sure she didn’t know?

It’s so hard to tell what would be “right” for everyone. I would want to know

Why didn’t he seek him out before to get the info?? It seems fishy to me.

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l get paid over $ 190 per hour working from home. l never thought I’d be able to do it but my buddy makes over $ 17899 a month doing this and she convinced me to try. The possibility with this is endless.
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Just tell it if you must. But be clear and be kind about it.

So medical history matters 41 yrs later? You have gone this long…now all the sudden important? Bs…

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Do you fr think the widow is gonna want a relationship w her dead man’s affair baby?:joy::joy: fr? That’s wild.

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I would approach a sibling and let them tell her… but that’s just me

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My husband was adopted. I bought him 23 and me and it has options based on dna of health issues he may be likely to get

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For those asking why ask now that he’s dead, my father has leukemia I have a whole bunch of irregularies in my blood lately and my dad will not give me the medical history. You bet should he die I’m gonna be all over with that trying to get the medical records

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Why would you want to upset a grieving widow?
Rather purchase a DNA kit for each member in your family, there’s a number of them available and they are brilliant. Personally we used 23andMe.
And for all you know this might make the link between your husband as his siblings as you are notified of possible siblings or extended family…

I would say sooner then later! If they weren’t married you can help her keep what is hers! Be kind, be understanding, let her know your only after medical history not his estate. Let her know if there is anything you can do to help her, your here. Don’t be pushy, don’t be rude! It is a lot for her to process while she’s grieving. Let her know if she has any doubt you are willing to do a DNA test.
Good luck

Assuming his life partner knows the bio Dad’s family medical history and that she would wish to share that with your husband, after finding out about him, I think is a big question mark. What makes you think the life partner doesn’t know about him anyway? Since the bio Dad spent his whole life not recognizing him, doesn’t it stand to reason he might have told his partner and they jointly agreed to not parent? I wouldn’t go in with a lot of expectations of her cooperation.

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Write to her first to ask if you can meet to talk

Is there a way he could request his dad’s medical records now that he is passed instead of telling her? Honestly idk the best way to go about it but if u gotta tell, do what you gotta do for your family. He obviously didn’t care.

Don’t tell her. Just try to get to know her. Ask her about him. Become friends

You just want to tell her. Period. Save all that other bullahit for someone who would have taken action a long time ago as opposed to when someone is grieving. Grow up already and keep it moving for the love of god. Take good care of yourself and each other and maybe you won’t end up with health issues/problems. But, maybe you should call Jerry Springer. He sounds more like your answer to this drama. If she doesn’t accept the invitation to the show, leave her alone.

I know that you’ve got genuine concerns.

But just imagine, when your spouse is dead, you’re grieving and someone pops out of nowhere and claims that he is your dead partner’s son.

I suggest you to find another way without destroying another grieving person.