Ive been with my man for 5 years we have a 1 year old baby girl . He was in rehab because he was doing pills he promised he would change and be better person , ever since he been out , we barely have sex , we don’t cuddle at night , he hasn’t said he loves me ,he don’t look at me the same anymore , I tried to be sexy the other night , he said not right now I am watching tv it’s to early to go to bed , umm wtff ? Before he usto get all excited for sex, he goes out all the time , when he needed he’s friends they were never there for him , but he always hangs out all the time with them , I’ve been there since day 1 supporting him, and he treats me like s*** , he don’t help me clean , always playing video games , he helps me financially, but idk what to do , should I leave him ? I do love him so much
As a recovering addict myself, I am a totally different person sober vs clean. Everything changes, because it has to. Maybe he doesn’t know what to do either. Imagine getting clean and not being interested in your significant other and now what? I hope that’s not the case, but seems it could be. This isn’t who you were just in a relationship with. You were with him physically but not the same person mentally. Its hard but real.
Also, when people get clean they want it to feel different, but you have to change the environment usually. Nothing changes if nothing changes, all that changed is he stopped using, usually going back to same exact situation or environment can be a trigger. But don’t ever feel like you are the problem, addiction active or recovering is a slippery slope that needs a lot of attention. I hope you can figure out what’s best. Always remember, the kids are affected the most. Whatever you are going thru, they are too. Good luck!!
Have you tried talking to him about how your feeling? Also talk to him about his rehab experience and what he may be feeling and going through. Getting sober is very hard, it takes an emotional toll and sometimes it takes a psychical one that he may not be telling you about.
He seeing other women…
Love REALLY isn’t enough sometimes. Don’t be giving too much of the benefit of the doubt.Watch for signs and red flags and believe what your seeing. Sometimes we don’t WANT to see what’s in front of us, so we ignore it and tell ourselves we’re being paranoid. Well honey, that GUT instinct is never wrong. If something feels off, it is.
You already know. Make a plan. Don’t get pregnant, take your child and start a new life. He already has.
When it comes to recovering addicts, the road can be very difficult after getting sober. It takes years to get back to yourself per say. Best bet would be speak to a therapist that has experience in addiction that could work with both of you.
Run, go, take that baby and make you a life you want to live and you’ll eventually find the man who fills in the spaces for you and your daughter, probably not the first one you meet, maybe not the 15th, take your time and build your own. You can do it!
Talk with him tell him how you feel and give him time to talk also no screaming etc. yall are adults and have a child together so regardless of you in love or needing to move on make sure to work together for you child. in the end you want your partner to be happy and that’s with or without you
He never loved you he probably felt good with you because of the pills he used to take… Now he doesn’t even know what to feel… I say give him time to figure himself out if he realizes he does love you he will come back
Girl. I’d call it and you do you and your baby.
He obviously has no trouble putting his wants and needs first, why can’t you?
I mean, honestly, if all he does is provide financially, you don’t need to be with him for that.
I’d send his ass packing. And yes, I’m speaking from experience and walking away was the BEST decision I’ve ever made.
He’s working on his sobriety. You gonna have to put your feelings at bay and focus on him, and I mean the sober him. That rush of sex might be too much for him to process when he’s trying to deal with what triggers him to use. Slow down baby girl. It’s time to walk beside your man.
If he’s hanging out w/ the same friends, he’s doing the same things on the DL. If he’s not, then some people just aren’t the same once sober. Either way, you are not growing together as a couple anymore. Staying will only lead to resentment and if allowed to continue, outright hostility towards each other. Sounds like the resentment is already settling in. I would suggest as amicable a split as possible. I would also suggest taking time to figure out who you are as an independent woman before jumping into another relationship. I hope this is helpful. Stay blessed.
Every women deserves to feel loved, enough, and overall happy 
Just got angry … again with mine tonight about this. I practically threw myself at him trying to cuddle, he don’t even put his hand around me. I even asked before we went upstairs if he wanted to go up and cuddle. I don’t understand it. No kissing nothing like wtf be a man why TF are you not doing these things. I get so beyond angry
Drugs can cause brain damage and can stunt emotions including arousal. Right now he isn’t making the happy chemicals in his brain. He’s try to just keep going like in depression. Some of my ex-medications have stunted me emotionally and it’s considered a traumatic brain injury. They have a page on here to help.
Typical of addicts just clean…
Karmic relationship, leave him
Guys are friggin WEIRD to put it mildly…ask him wtf?? Lol
Alot of guys not all some have trouble getting hard after stopping the pills. Maybe he feels insecure?
Girl if you really love him ! Understand him it’s not always about cheating he need help . Before trying do all those stuff he needs to get help . You as a wife support him being addicted it not a easy thing they need a lot support . A lot support a lot patience trust me . Try to go with him find the help try to look for human skill resources for recovery for addiction
Do you know what kind of pills he was taking ?
Leave him and run. Trust me. This is not love
If your asking a question, you already have the answer.
Seems like he is selfish. Why would you want to stay with someone who shows no desire for you… seems like you will be doing everything trying to get him to bite and give the bare minimum of affection. Do not settle for that bullshit. the bare minimum is not enough to get by. your heart should be full and secure.
its tough, but i think its time to move on. he never loved you if all has changed since giving up the drugs. you casn do much better. take care.
It took me three years to get off and my problem and I done the same thing he’s doing you got to hang in there go to snap out of it eventually Wayland took me three years to get back together with my wife and now we’re together and we’ve been together for 42 years do all I can say is hang in there for a little while if you don’t change within a year leave them find somebody to love you
This sounds like depression, it often hits after overcoming an addiction. It is a lot to adjust to trying to live life without that crutch. It may be worth him seeking therapy.
Hes a drug addict and is using you.
I have lived this story. .
Leave. He doesn’t love you and I can prove it to ya
Tell him no next time he wants something or asks for something.
You do everything for him that’s why he’s there.
He is incapable of loving
Until he really works a program and gets clean you are wasting your time.
Your heart will get over it I promise.
I left my ex, I decided to move away for a little while to break the cycle.
Before I moved i met someone else. I now call that man my husband. We just celebrated 3 years of marriage and welcomed our son in February.
You will find it. I promise. It seems crazy but you need to let go so better can come.
Feel free to message me.
Anyone can message me if they need to talk
But unfortunately you won’t leave until you are done.