My mother doesn’t think I should put my childs father on the birth certificate…and I am torn because he is upset about the thought of not being on it…we are not together anymore but he wants to be there for baby…the issue is, he is with someone that I am not comfortable with and If I put him on the birth certificate then he will have rights to baby and I personally do not want this girl around my child…what should I do? can he do anything legal if I do not add his name? I also don’t really want baby to have his last name…can he force me to make sure she does?
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He can take you to court for dna test and once confirmed he is father than he will have rights anyway so you leaving him off won’t make a difference because legally he has steps he can take to ensure he sees the baby.
If you don’t, all he has to do is take you to court, take a DNA test, and the courts will add his name. If he is not a danger to the child, stop trying to make plans to keep his child from him just because he has moved on.
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Make sure you’d be comfortable explaining your decision to your child when they’re of age…
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It’s a child not a car to be titled. Your child deserves to have the father on the birth records. Your child also deserves to have a relationship with both parents. If you truly feel the girlfriend is a danger to your child then tell the courts but if it’s just that you dont like her then that’s not reason enough to hold his child from him .
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I didn’t have my daughters father on the birth certificate and she doesn’t have his name. He wasn’t ever going to play an active role in my daughters life but I always made sure my daughter knew who her dad was. You do what is best for you and your child. When you are happy with the situation you can fill in forms and the dad can be added. Your not denying him as your child’s father. Your just protecting your family. Like I did.
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Legally he can do a DNA test and will legally be able to be put on the birth certificate. All it takes is taking you to court and very little you can do about their significant others unless it’s proven she’s dangerous and even then cam be difficult. If you can control who’s he’s with then he should be able to control who you’re with. He’s has rights.
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You don’t have to give your child his last name, but he has rights to his child. Making him fight for those rights will result in harder coparenting in the future….
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There are a lot of single mothers that wish their child’s father was in the picture. Same for single fathers with no mother around. I can’t understand why someone would want to deny a child’s right to have a relationship with either parent. There are a lot of parents who don’t want to be involved, but it sure sounds like this one does. Not only is it unfair to the other parent, but it’s unfair to the child. Denying the father because you don’t liked his girlfriend is very petty and shows that you are so bitter, that you are worried more about yourself than you are your child. Best to put your feelings aside and do what’s best for your child.
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Yall should have grown up before playing house
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You really should have did some growing up before getting pregnant. He has just as much rights as you do to that baby 
. He can fight u in court and u have the possibility of loosing atleast 50% of time with the child. You also have no say about who is around the child while the child is with their father 
the judge will even tell u that one.
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I wouldn’t put him on there, if he wants to be apart he can take the steps to doing so. Then he will also be made to pay child support. It might be a blessings or a curse. Mine was a blessing 19 years ago.
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Wow this is crazy- he wants to be involved, take care of his child, be on the birth certificate and give her his last name. That sounds like a man trying to be a dad. Maturity is needed here- don’t be a baby momma who brings drama. Be mature and unless she’s harming your child or dangerous- let him be with whoever he likes just as he should do the same for you. Being a parent is a big responsibility but being a great mom is a honor, lots of love, and doing what’s best for the child even if it’s not what you want. Your life is no longer about what you want. Its about giving your child the best life possible- having a father is a part of that best life.
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You should put his name on because your child deserves to know who their father is, they won’t thank you for leaving him off when they’re older. Legally he can ask you for a dna test and then gets put on anyway. If you’re not comfortable with this person being around your child then tell him, put steps in place that you both agree on for when this person can start to interact with your child. Better to be adult about it otherwise there will just be animosity down the line which will cause arguments
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You should grow up. You should co parent as it’s in the best interest of the child. Whether you put him or not, he can petition the court for a dna test. Where’s that leave you? Bitter Betty. Nobody likes a bitter Betty. 
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Your in for the fight of your life. Even if you don’t put his name on the birth certificate all he has to do is get a DNA test and get his name put on the BC. You legally cannot stop him and what he does or who he is with when he has the baby you cannot do anythung about it just as he cannot do anything about who you are with.
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Not wanting him on the birth certificate just because he is with someone you don’t like weather it’s for good reason or not is super petty! How did U think co parenting would work? Don’t be like that! And if you do I hope he’s a good enough man to fight for his right as a parent! I have children and I absolutely can’t stand thr father my kids are all older now and have the own opinions of him that I didn’t put in thr head! Trust me keeping your baby away from him for just the reasons u listed is super petty
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It’s really insane to me that you would deny a father that clearly wants to be involved. It’s his child. Making him fight to exercise his rights as a father is really shameful behaviour on your part.
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Tell your mom to mind her dam business!!! The child is yours & your ex NOT hers. I personally think he should be on their he is the father but it’s not my baby either. You have to do what you think is right & don’t worry what everyone else thinks. Trust me it will be easier to just add him. If he wants to he can take you to court, get a DNA test & his name will be on it anyway by a court. Why go through all that!? Put him on & guess what if he does nothing for the baby as that child grows up he/she will see what parent was/ is there & who is not. That you don’t need a name or a piece of paper for. Good luck! FyI he has rights to the baby whether he is on their or not. Don’t hold a grudge because he has moved on & you can’t stop him & the girlfriend from seeing the baby if there are no issues. As for the last name you can give him your last name.
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So real life is you don’t have to put him on the BC. However; he can easily take you into court, establish paternity & if you cannot prove he’s a danger to that child you’ll most likely be told to sit on a stick & spin essentially. If he’s an active father then you will look badly in court when you tell them you refused to name him as the father because you didn’t like his GF. In terms of custody & visitation you are going to be told that you don’t get to control who he is around on his time & vica-versa. You need to look into your state laws because more & more courts are granting 50/50 to parents so I would tread this carefully because it can backfire on you really quickly. I know people have had papers written up as soon as the child is born so that way neither parent was being denied access. Do what’s best for your child but also know you won’t always like it either. It’s not about you, or dad, it’s about that child.
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He needs to be on the birth certificate. All he has to do is order a paternity test to put it on there. It’s just going to make you look petty.
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I feel this is a little selfish… just because he has another partner doesn’t give you the right to push him away from being a father even if you don’t like his partner. if you don’t put him on the birth certificate he can go to court to be put on it
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This is exactly “why” individuals like you should think about who you lay down with before bringing children into this world. Then you’re going to be complaining he doesn’t help you with support and will be out here applying for assistance because you’ll then be stating you’re a single mother by choice not because the father doesn’t want to be in the picture. Smh.
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My mom never put my father on my birth certificate. He was in and out of my life then he wanted to my meet my daughter when she was born and I said no he wasn’t there for me what give him the right to meet my daughter 
but at the end of the day I wish he was on my birth certificate 
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It will cost him but he can be put on the birth certificate.
It’s not exactly cheap either.
DNA test fee,court fees, attorney fees
He will have to pay for all of that
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Honestly. You’re only hurting the baby. Just let him know when you’re in labor. It’s up to him to be there for the birth certificate signing.
My son’s biological father wasn’t put on his birth certificate but the hospital made me put my ex husband’s name on it.That was 31 years ago!!! The biological father was extremely abusive and I wasn’t going to put him down as the father.
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So you want to deny him his rights because you don’t like the new girlfriend? You sound exhausting already and you need to learn what co-parenting is. That baby is half his and you can’t deny him his rights because you don’t like the girlfriend and trying that argument in a courtroom won’t get you far without proof that she’s a danger. You can only control who YOU allow around baby not him. For your child’s sake grow up and put what’s best for baby first even if you don’t like it. Remember you’ll be explaining to them when they’re grown why the dad isn’t around.
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You don’t have to give the baby his last name. I think the baby should have your last name especially if you aren’t married. He can go to court and petition for a dna test to be put on the birth certificate. I’d probably just go to court to have some type of custody and visitation in writing. Generally speaking though you can’t dictate who he can bring around his child. Unless you can prove they are a danger or something. You can try to have it put in the court order about no significant others allowed around for say 6 months. If they will even do that but then after that amount of time you can’t do anything about it.
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He may be able to petition the court for your child to have his last name and have his name added to his birth certificate. So even if you don’t do it now it can be done later on. He absolutely can take you to court to get a dna test done and when that’s established he can ask for visitation. You won’t have a say in whose around your child when he has the child.
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What wouldn’t you want his name on by just cause the other girl this is nit about her buy about farther and baby he has every right to b in bc
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Unfortunately you didnt do your pre-conception research, there is a big difference between a sperm bank donor and a living, breathing, walking around donor as you are bound to soon find out
Hyphenated the babies last name. Do yours first and his second. Then you can choose to just use your last name. Just babies legal last name will be both.
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I mean, not putting him on her birth certificate will likely result in a court battle. You’re better off establishing a healthy co-parenting relationship, creating a parenting plan together, and just putting him on the birth certificate.
Whether or not you like your child’s other parents current SO should never be a motivating factor in keeping someone from their child
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If you don’t you have to fight him in court where they will do a dna test then give him rights and shared custody. And if you can’t afford a lawyer then it’s going to be a pain to go threw
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You don’t have to give baby his last name but if he wants DNA and it comes down to him being the father they will automatically add him to birth certificate
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Oh yes he can. He can take you to court. Ask for a DNA. If he is father. The court makes you put his name on the birth certificate. At least he wants to be a father.
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It would save you a ton of money to put him on it. He can take you to court, get DNA test, and get his rights. You need to express your concern to him about his girlfriend but unfortunately, there’s nothing you can do unless you can prove to the court that is she is unfit to be around the child.
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Why start off her life on such a bad foot with her father? He wants to be in her life. But you want to immediately deny him bc of a new girlfriend? You are bringing an innocent and helpless life into the world, get some perspective.
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He’s the father the only question is . Is he a decent person that will be safe around the child that’s it nothing else . This is your child’s father all drama and petty shit aside I promise be the bigger mother then the hurt women for your child all day every day !!!
He can get a DNA test to prove paternity and have rights… not putting him on the birth certificate just because you don’t like his gf is pretty shitty… kid deserves to know who their parents are whether they are together or not
The last name can be yours no problem. The man does have rights to his child and keeping your child from there Dad over a gf or jealousy isn’t right at all. If she is messed up and on drugs ok but if you just don’t like her or are jealous you are being petty and selfish.
Him not being on the birth certificate does not absolve him of responsibility nor does it mean that you can keep him from his child. All he needs to do is petition the court for custody. If he’s not deemed unfit, he will get visitation at least, and partial custody at most and the courts will work out child support… All leaving him off the birth certificate does is make him do a little more work to be in his child’s life. If he wants to be a father, you can not stop him. In our state, after 5 years of zero contact, you can petition to sever a father’s (or mother’s) parental rights.
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He can come for his rights. Especially is he wants to be active with the baby. You could save yourself a lot of headache by adding him to the birth certificate and start the motion of getting a custody order in place. I know it sucks to not like the person or people that he will be around with the child but unless they are a pedo you don’t have much say in who he has around the baby. I would try to get some sort relationship with them working to save a lot of digging
You don’t have to give child his last name even if he is on birth certificate; go to lawyer get custody paperwork started with reasonable visitation. You can have specifics put in there which lawyer can explain. If you feel the female is a threat and have legit proof then provide that. If not there’s not a whole lot you can do but get over the fact he moved on.
You do realize even if you don’t put him on the birth certificate due to your own selfish reasons he can always take you to court and file for joint custody and after a dna test shows he’s the fathers there’s nothing you can do if a judge says 50/50 custody.
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He can go to court and request a dna test to have him added. He doesn’t really have a say on name. He can go to court for visitation since he is the father regardless of whether mom likes dad’s new girlfriend
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Depending on what state you’re in birth certificate does not give the father rights.
Either way if he wants to be a father he will take you to court and get rights it’ll just be a longer more expensive process.
You don’t like his girlfriend. Is she a danger to the child? If it’s not a matter of safety then you shouldn’t stop him from being a father because you dont like her.
Once her is on the birth certificate, you have legal rights for child support for life…even if he gets a DNA; it proves that he is without a doubt the father; which could be a good thing since he will be in the child’s life for 18 years; if for any reason that he refuses to pay, you have the upper hand in the situation and the courts will order him to pay child support…even if his s. o. Is in the picture.
It may depend on your state. In NY, you can put whatever name you want on the birth certificate and leave off the fathers name. But all he has to do is apply through family court to have it added. He will have to prove paternity if you deny it, but he can legally force you to acknowledge him as the father and then a court order will likely be made for custody and/or visitation arrangements and probably child support as well if requested by either party. And you will likely have no say in whether or not his GF is around your child when your child is with him.
Stop making it about you! So you don’t like his new girlfriend, is she a danger- like honestly?! If he wants to be there for his child how dare you try anything to prevent that!
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You cannot dictate who he is with. He has rights no matter what. The child has a right to know his or her father also. You are wrong if you delay the inevitable and make it hard for the relationship between father and child.
Honestly I wish my mom didn’t add the guy that’s my “dad” to my birth certificate. But that’s just me. You don’t have to give your child the dads last name but I would also go to court and make sure you have more right than the father, if he’s with someone that you think may be a danger to your baby than you need proof to give to the court that way it limits the child’s father’s rights. It’s a shitty thing to do but if you know that your child safety and we’ll be might be at risk and your not just doing it cuz your jealous then do it.
I know someone who choose not to put the father’s name on their child’s birth certificate. When he reached adulthood and needed his birth certificate. He was really disappointed to see his father’s name missing. Altho he did know who he was, it was still upsetting. Just Imagine your teenage child looking at their birth certificate and it saying Father unknown ? Or just nothing?
I feel bad for the baby. That would be a selfish choice and you’re already showing how toxic the coparenting will be on your end.
He has to be there to sign papers at the baby’s birth in most situations, but he can go for a paternity test, then everything will go through court. I know he rushed into things by being with someone else already, especially if things are rough between you & her, but I think the most important thing is establishing a relationship between a baby & their father. But, make sure it’s spoken about in court that you prefer her not be around until you’re more comfortable with the situation. You & the baby’s father can sit down & work out something in front of a judge as far as custody goes, if you’d like him to share custody or have so many days of visitation a week & where visits will be, etc. Do not push that man who is willing to be active, out of his child’s life. That makes everything much harder & more toxic when your child gets older & just trying to work together as parents as smooth as can be will make the situation soooo much better. I hope it doesn’t come off as mean, I just have experience with this kind of stuff & it’s not fun 
It’s not really your moms place to decide if her grandchild’s fathers name should be on the baby’s birth certificate! Regardless of who either you or your ex chooses as partners - that has nothing to do with him being your child’s father . Being parents it’s time to move past the petty drama and just agree to be the best parents to this baby that each of you can be. In the future you may be with someone your ex is not comfortable with you being around and you two will just have to set your ground rules and go from there.
Instead of all these knowledgeable people I would make a call to your nearest court office and ask them what is and isn’t legal, it’s different from state to state and province to province…
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If he’s a good person then there isn’t much reason to not put his name on it. All he’d have to do is take you to court. In some places, unmarried moms have sole custody automatically and dad has to go to court for visitation rights (even when they are on the birth certificate). He’ll get rights if he wants them, leaving him off the BC just adds an extra step for him. You can’t do much about his girlfriend unless you can prove she’s not safe for your kid to be around. And no, he can’t force you to give the baby his last name. You’re filling out the birth certificate so you get to decide her last name.
If u are not married I would not. I would not give the fathers last name either. It would make it harder to get a passport for your kid if u have a father added on it the birth certificate or if there is some major issues upon break up.
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You do realize you’re not the only one who made this child right? That may sound hateful but really, why do women think they’re the only ones who have any right to their child?? He’s the father, he has just as much right as you do to be involved, all you will be doing if you leave him off the BC and not allowing him to see said child because he may have them around a person you ‘personally’ don’t like (which tells me you just don’t like the girl, not that she’s an actual threat to the child) is setting yourself up for a really awkward conversation with your child later once they find out the truth. Not to mention he can easily get rights, and put on the BC with a simple dna test.
Don’t be one of those bitter baby mamas that keeps the child away from the father because of your own emotions. You have bigger things to worry about like being a mother. Learn to coparent. 
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Put him on the birth certificate doesn’t mean your child has to carry his last name. You will give birth to the child so that choice is yours. Me personally me and my husband weren’t married when our 3 were born and his name is on there’s and they carry his last name. You can’t control who he dates. If the girlfriend is an issue then some boundaries need to be set. Don’t let a man who wants to be in his child’s life not be. I just took on my older sisters 2 kids because she can’t have them and there dad hasn’t seen them in 6 years. There dad barely caught up on his back child support and they don’t want his last name anymore. Worst case scenario when the babies older and he hasn’t been keeping up his end change the babies last name. It’s 150 bucks to change your name.
I wouldn’t give baby his last name if you’re not together. My boys have my last name and girls have their fathers. If you’re confused, just don’t put his name on it for the time being. You guys could always come back and add him in the future.
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Bottom line… do what you feel is in the best interest of the child. He can take you to court and they can decide you have to submit to a paternity test. At that point in some states he will be required to pay child support. It will no longer be your choice. Check the laws in your area.
My sons sperm donor refused to sign the birth certificate, he has my last name. He didn’t want to help so when I took him for child support, we had to do dna testing & all they do is add them to the birth certificate. My other two have the same dad & he’s on both birth certificates. Only one has his last name tho. I do however, find it incredibly selfish you don’t want to put his name on for the sake of not liking someone. That baby is just as much his, as it is yours. You don’t have to use his last name, but if he wants to be in involved, put his name on it. I have a restraining order on my kids dad & still invited him to the birth & had him added to the birth certificate. He wasn’t their for the birth, but he came after.
If they are alcohol/drug addicts I personally wouldn’t put his name on there. Just saying. That puts your child in danger. Let them fight for his child if he really wants to. If you have prior knowledge they are unsafe people I would do everything I could to keep my child safe.
All the best moving forward through this decision and doing what is best for your child and the father regardless of how you feel personally about father or girlfriend 🫶🏽
It’s his child too so you cannot make that decision unless it is what he wants too. If the new girlfriend is actually a danger to the child then you can discuss that with him but you are co-parents now and its better for all, especially your baby if you work together and understand that you both have the right to be in your child’s life.
He will still have rights he will have to work harder to get them. Think of what’s best for the child not your feelings.
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Ok so if you don’t put his name on the birth certificate nothing happens to you. Secondly he cannot FORCE you to give baby his lastname go ahead and give baby yours! (When baby is born they always put baby as “Baby ____mom’s lastname”) the other parts of your question now. YES dad COULD fight to get time with baby but that means he has to get a paternity test done. IF he does do the test and asks for parenting time he is most likely to get some time with the baby, he can then also ask that his name be put on birth certificate (however they won’t change baby’s lastname from yours unless you consent)… unfortunately when baby goes with him for his time there is nothing you can do about the lady you don’t like. You cannot control who dad takes baby around on his time unless you can prove that person is a danger.
You sound bitter. You should be lucky he even wants to be in the baby’s life because you have a lot of men or mothers who don’t want any involvement with their child/children. Let that man sign that birth certificate.
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Think of your baby instead of yourself. Would you want to grow up look at your birth certificate and see a blank where your fathers name should be listed. If you do so your gonna have a lot of explaining to do to your child later on.
You don’t have to legally give the baby his last name or put him on the birth certificate….if he’s planning on being in the child’s life and has shown that then I would put him on the certificate personally. Last name I would put as yours if you guys aren’t together as it will just be easier if you and the baby have the same last name going forward.
Birth certificate means nothing. Depending the state you could just put whoever on there and the guy doesn’t have to sign. Birth certificate does not give him rights
He would need to fight for his parental rights if he really wishes to get his name added himself, meaning dna test. If you wish to get your child passport or take them out of the country you would need his permission if he’s on the birthday certificate
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The birth certificate has nothing to do with legal rights, it’s for future rights for the child, genetically and medically, and financially. Put him on it, tell mom to butt out, none of her business…make sure you make decisions that are best for your child and not out of jealousy.
All he would have to do is go to court and they’ll order a DNA test and he will get parental rights. Depending where you live though, you might not even be able to put his name on the birth certificate anyway if he is not there at the time of birth. Where I am they have to be present and sign the paper otherwise it stays blank. Also, you don’t HAVE to give baby his name if you don’t want to.
He will still have rights do the right thing. You had a baby with him unmarried so he has the right to have his name on it. Your mother should have no say so
He will still have rights. All he has to do is paternity thru the court. He has rights no matter your feelings. You chose to spread it open with him. He has every right to be a dad.
If its his kid, stop trying to take that away from him. He has rights. Who cares who you like, this isn’t about you anymore.
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It doesn’t matter how your Mom feels about him or how you feel about who he is with. It matters about the BABY!!! He deserves a chance to be a part of the child’s life. He can still fight you in court to have his name put on the birth certificate and it could get ugly. Why put you or your child through that?
Do what you feel is best. My children only have my last name and I am the only one on their birth certificates.
If you don’t put him on there they’ll do a DNA test and put him on there for you. As far as the last name no he cannot make you use his last name.
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What u should do is grow up he is the father but if you don’t put him on the birth certificate he can petition the court for paternity and end up getting his rights anyways especially if he already wants to be involved nothing stopping him from taking you to court you file a birth certificate without a father’s name he can go down to the county clerk’s office and claim his child by signing an affidavit that will then be sent to the court for them to order paternity test and if he is the father he’ll get all his rights anyways. What you ought to do is be an adult about it and put his name on the birth certificate because that’s where it belongs and he is your child’s father. Who he’s with is really none of your business unless she is putting the child In harm’s Way and then you have to prove it.
Yea he can take you to court for a paternity test and get in it anyways. So if you want it to take 4-5 more months then go that route but honestly do what you feel is best.
Okay so you can give birth not put his name on it give your child your last name. But if he takes you to court does DNA he will get added anyways to the birth certificate and as far as the last name he could petition the courts for the last name to be changed or his to be added and at the point it is up to the judge. 
Just my experience on this subject. As far as the other woman goes it’s a losing battle she will if you like it or not be able to be around your child given she’s with the child’s father unless you can proved she’s a actually danger to your child otherwise you will have to get over it and well pick your battles because eventually your gonna want a partner around your child as well. Unfortunately courts are slow so your mom’s way will only buy you like 3-6 months of being in complete control but it will cause the father to become bitter and co parenting will end up sucking
If you don’t all he has to do is take you to court to order a dna test to establish custody. If he does with an attorney you could get stuck with attorney fees as well as the cost of the test. He wouldn’t have to pay you child support or provide you with any funds until paternity is established either. I think you should put your feelings aside and focus on your child. A child deserves both parents especially if they both are wanting to be active. You mom should be getting involved.
Put his name on the certificate. If you ont want your baby around his new girlfriend, calmly tell him your concerns. Itshis baby too. He’s not going to let bad things happen to it if he wants to be involved in the child’s life.
you are being petty. whether he is with someone or not, that’s his child too and he can take you to court either way. if he’s a good man why would you do that to him?
I think he has rights (as the father) anyway.
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You also won’t be able to get child support if you ever decide to go for it if he’s not named on BC. Trying to get a paternity test if things get nasty could be a challenge too.
I think the last name is personal choice.
Nope let him go through the steps to get on the BC. My sons father never went through with ut
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You don’t have to put his name on birth certificate but he can apply at court for it to be added on and you don’t need to give baby his last name, it’s upto him what and who he has around baby on his time
He should be on it, and he should be paying child support. Who he is with is of no concern to you unless the child is in danger. He has a right to visitation, even custody. IT’S HIS CHILD, TOO. Would you like him trying to control who you see or who you’re with?
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Even if you don’t put his name on there he can still come and get parental rights get a DNA test done you believe that kid is so if you wanted to be there make sure you get everything documented with the courts
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Parental rights are not based on birth certificates , to my knowledge.
You can add his name as the father , doesn’t mean that your child has to have his surname. It doesn’t matter if you don’t like who he is with . You have no say in that . Let your child be loved by both parents.
He has rights either way and it’s a huge pain to change that later (I know from personal experience).
He should have his
Name on Birth certificate . He also should have rights he helped make the baby .
Grow up. It’s not about you anymore.
Yalls baby deserves to know who dad is.