What would you do in this situation?

I feel like you should let him decide if he wants them as friends
You feel bad for him as we all would when our children are suffering but I think the other boys should be given the opportunity to apologise and then your son decide if they are worthy of his friendship
But thinking of you mumma raising children is never easy when all the emotions are involved :relieved:

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Put him in karate so he can kick some ass.

I would get him some counseling so he realizes that this is not his fault. He also will need to learn how to stand up for himself in the future so it doesn’t happen again. I’d make sure if they go to school or have classes together that they are removed from being in the same class.

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And why were his friends like that? From whom did they learn such behavior? It’s what bully’s do!

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I would give it some time and if they are well mannered kids and received sufficient punishment, let your son decide if he still wants to be friends or not. Talk with the mom and see what she says.

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Sit them all down together and have them talk it out.

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Maybe see if your area has Friday youth that he cn attend or karate classes where he can find new friends, it’s good u letting him knw that no means no, n if they don’t respect that, than he shouldn’t be around that crowd.

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Should’ve invited the boys in. Have them interact and talk in front of you - without being overly involved. Could have been healing to have them apologize rather than let the tension drag on. Then let your son make the choice of who his ‘true friends are’. The truest forms of friendship always involve forgiveness. This still has potential to be a great lesson learned.

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Ok. Sorry but you rambled on and on, repeating the same thing over and over.
You and your son BOTH might benefit from some counseling.
You so you can learn to express yourself with rambling and whining.
You can’t set, or TEACH, clear boundaries if you can’t clearly and succinctly express yourself.
Your son needs some one to talk to who won’t sound like Eeyore, and act like the world is coming to an end, just because some kids behaved badly one day. YOU probably made it seem like much more of a Tragedy than it really is.
You made a bigger deal than you needed to.
Everyone else is right too. Put your kid in some kind of sport or Martial arts so he can develop some self confidence.
And you should’ve let your kid decide how he wanted to handle his friends and future friendship.
I would’ve asked that mom and kids to come over so we could all sit down together to discuss what happened, and figure out how to move forward. Instead you just flipped out and blew it all up.
Talk to a professional. I think you need help too.

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What the boys did was not okay. But kids will be kids and self discipline, kindness, empathy, all of these things are learned through life experiences over time. Which children are of course lacking in. I think everyone should talk it out with adults present but very much in the background and let your son decide if these kids should be his friends.

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I’ve been in this situation. Kids are mean. It’s way worse now for kids. Kids do stuff and then say “I was just kidding” or deny that they did it. I really don’t have any advice on how to fix the broken heart except for time. We have been going through this off and on for about a year with a few kids and my son always wants to give the kids another chance and then they treat him like crap or use him. My son is 15. I think after this last incident he finally has realized that they aren’t worth the headache and that you don’t need to have a lot of friends. Quality of friends over quantity.

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You did good. That’s all you can do. Teach him that once he’s been betrayed, don’t go back. It teaches him that physical and mental abuse is unacceptable. He’ll need to know this later as an adult. If we become accustomed to it as a child, we tend to think it’s normal and therefore acceptable. Talking to Mom about it was also good. She needs to teach them bullying is wrong and unacceptable. I just hope it ends there. God bless.

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Do they attend the same school / classroom? Id email the teacher to let her know he was bullied so she/ he can keep an eye out during school .
This is a great way to keep a paper trail .
Also , if the mother contacts you regarding the incident anymore , Use text or email for the same reason.

Can you put him in a new extra curricular of his choice, so he can make new friends? That might ruffle his spirits .
Good luck . Hope he feels better soon .

Teach him to fight and let him whoop asses! Just saying! I’d be so hott I’d probably whoop their Little asses.

Technically no. I just went through a divorce and without a custody sheet or something showing she has primary then they both have equal rights because they are married. The daycare cannot get involved in the custody but they can honor paperwork if presented. He needs to ask the daycare for the paperwork showing he is not allowed to pick her up

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If he is her biological father and on her birth cert then no they can’t. He can call the police and have them meet him there to pick her up. If they are married and he’s on her birth cert he has just as much rights to their child as she does.

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He needs to go file for custody and divorce. She can’t stop him from seeing her technically, the daycare can’t either unless they have proper paperwork saying so. He needs an attorney asap.

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I would do what everyone else is saying and then,file for an emergency custody hearing.

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Is he on the lease? If so he can’t be evicted just because she wanted him to be. Same with daycare, if he hasn’t been served official paperwork, the daycare has no right to just trust what she says. I’d bring an officer to the daycare and demand paperwork

Tell him to go file for custody or joint custody asap.

No, they cannot do that unless there’s a custody order they both have 50-50. That means they both have a say so, with what happens with their daughter. Make sure he keeps documentation of every single phone call Text and situation, and he needs to file and take her to court. It’s gonna cost him a lot of money, but it’ll be worth it in the long end.

First of all, she can only evict him if it’s “HER” house. Meaning he’s not on the lease or home title unless there’s a crime or restraining order. 2nd, many states if a couple is unmarried the mother has sole rights to child until court deems otherwise so yes the day care can do this. SC is one of these states.

I would call the non emergency line and ask that question. Or bring the police to pick up the daughter

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I’m sure it depends on state but in Florida you could have the police meet you there. They would get the child for you unless mom is there. Anyone but the mother or other parent isn’t able to keep your child from you. Hell even with a primary court order. The other parent can still keep child until you go to court again but the second that child isn’t with the other parent you can take them and have cops help.

Nobody here can do anything to help him. He has to go to court.

If the daycare doesn’t have a court order and the dad is on the pick up list, and the birth certificate… they cannot keep that child away from the dad… he could call the cops and have them charged with kidnap.

No, they aren’t supposed to do this prior to any Court orders in place just on say so of one of the parents. Likely did because mom is the primary parent listed with them, she sang a tune prohibiting it devoid of any filed documented legal parameters … and they didn’t want issues.

Get an Attorney asap and file for emergency custody hearing.
Court orders need in place.

Nope. Not unless there is a custody or protective order stating otherwise.

Sounds like he caught her cheating. I would’ve had he evicted an got all rights to my child. If he can prove it. He will have more rights than her.

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There’s always two sides to every story

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No daycare can’t do that.

If there has been no court order/custody agreement put in place he can have law enforcement go with him to pick up his child.

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sounds like something was filed & hes not aware.

No they can’t, unless there’s paperwork through court. He can call the cops on them and her too.

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Sounds to me like your brother needs to get a lawyer ASAP and start filing for the divorce and 50/50 custody

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Yes because mom is the primary care giver
But then we don’t know the full story

Best thing is to get lawyer and court involved. No telling what his wife told daycare and other people.

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I don’t understand bc I was told even though I had a po that my ex could walk in to my kids school any time and get our kids, so i think if he brought an officer with him the day care can’t deny him his children and with him having been able to pick up the children in the past without specific paperwork he can’t just be taken off the pick up list since he is the parent and the police officer is only necessary bc of the day care denying a parent access.

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Child care can not do that. There needs to be a court order stating he cannot have access to the child, for them to deny him access. I would call whoever is above the people you are dealing with. Or ministry. Or he can call the police and they will accompany him to pick her up. He is legally allowed to pick up his child.

No they are not aloud to do that unless there is a court order or a protection order out. If he’s on the birth certificate or on the list of people that are aloud to pick child up they have to let him pick up his child

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If there’s no court order or paper work then they can’t do that . Have him the cops escort him and get a report . Tell him to go to family court asap

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Have him take her to court and get visitation

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He needs a solicitor/lawyer!

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It’s really by state. We’re I am he’d have to have custody or parenting plan set up. She also has to prove he’s unfit. If I was him. I’d take her to court.

In NYS, the daycare couldn’t do that. A court order is required!

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Document everything. Get an attorney immediately.

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Wow. The women on here still defending this poor excuse for a “woman” is disgusting.

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I say stay out of it. Let them figure it out.

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I’d mind my own business.

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The daycare isn’t supposed to restrict a parent unless she’s provided them with court papers. So my guess is your brother might have DVO paperwork coming

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She can easily take him off as a pick up person at day care. Clearly there are two sides to every story. You do not have a custody agreement in place and she is the primary parent. Clearly there’s a reason why he was kicked out.

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It’s a civil matter. Go to court. Police would not be any assistance unless there is something in writing.

They all deserve each other

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So your brother wants to go to the daycare that she pays for without her permission? He wants her to panic when she goes to pick her up. He needs to get a legal custody order, pay child support.

As long as he’s on the birth certificate! He can take the police with them. Because they are keeping his child from him. Even if the child is like with an aunt or grandma or something. The parents can pick her up from them with the police.

No they can’t! Without a court order . The daycare could be charged with a crime!

if not already posted, he needs to get himself a good divorce lawyer, file for temporary custody & get his wife to pay him child support. Who she can get him evicted from where he is staying…that I am not too sure of