Your 14 year old has a friend that wants to stay the night. But he identifies as a she. Do you let her? Your 15 year old is bisexual, and wants her girlfriend to stay over. Not her friend that’s a girl. Her “girlfriend”Just curious on others peoples thoughts and rules.
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. What would you do?
Nope. She’s still to young for that. I would look at it as it’s still the opposite sex and not appropriate.
Nope. Not in my house. Doesn’t matter about sexuality, just nope. I have a 17yr old, and it’s still a big fat NO.
Hell nah and it doesn’t matter at all that she identifies as a she. No boyfriend or girlfriends should be staying the night. Period.
You are the only one that knows if you can trust them my son had a girl that was a friend and she stayed at our house all the time
I got a headache just trying to read this
I would say she can stay over but sleep in different rooms. Have a fun movie night with popcorn and snacks. I think being extremely strict has opposite affects.
The question is do you trust them. If so have them sleep in separate places
My mom let me have my girlfriend over all the time. They’re going to do what they want regardless of how strict you are. You’ll just ruin your relationship with your kids by being overbearing.
You wouldn’t let a boy spend the night so make no difference, just tell them no
No and I am actually goo through it now with my child and there will be no more sleepovers
This is a messed up
If your child was straight would you allow it? Your answer to that question should be the same if they are trans, bi, gay etc…
Honestly, how do you feel about it!? Im bi sexual and to my mom, I was allowed guest with the door open, but never any sleep overs. Not even family could sleep over. Lol
Nope though these are when things get confusing cause when ur kid is bi or gay can they ever have someone stay the night even if same sex? Curious how ppl handle that
Nope. Not if kids bi or gay. Sorry bud no friends staying over
No would u let her boyfriend stay the night then the answer is still no
Can’t really say much on this but for me, at 14, would be a no
Although when I was 13-16 I had a guy that was my best friend and we spent every single weekend together and he stayed the night even some school nights. But we never did anything at all.
Same rules apply across the board. If you had a daughter who was straight and wanted her boyfriend to stay over, would it happen?
Do you trust your child? Let them camp in the living room.
At 15 definitely not
Personally No the same rules apply in my book! I wouldn’t let my sons girlfriend spend the night. Late night movie and popcorn is fine but your going home after just my thought!
My instinct says no, but you’d rather have an open and honest relationship with your child. Saying no could result in sneaking around. So better to say yes and have stipulations. Door open all times etc etc setting up lounge room for camp out style sleep over. They’re unlikely to get up to no good in an open room
Nope. Not in the same room anyways. & Can you even guarantee they won’t sneak into the same room later on? I’m sure her male anatomy does function at that age still & therefore there’s still a chance for pregnancy/etc. It would just be a big no no for me.
I’d rather have them in my home under my supervision
Tell them no closed doors
And they must sleep in separate rooms
Show her you trust her but let them know if they don’t obey to the rules it won’t happen again
Create a safe space for them
You want her to be able to confide in you
If you say no, they’ll find a way to do it any way
Not anything I would consider,but GOD created a WOMAN for a MAN!!
My daughter is a lesbian and she had sleepovers. Most were really just friends. She had first real relationship at 16 and she moved in for a year with us. I would rather it be in my house then her go else where or hide it.
If he identifies as a she would that mean that she doesn’t have a penis when it comes to sex? This whole identifying as a different sex confuses me.
Yes. I let them stay over . I trust my kids .
Nope. No way would I let my daughters boyfriend sleep over.
Yah but not in your bedroom.
If it my child’s partner no. Nothing to do with sexuality or gender.
Nope. My daughter is 16 and bisexual. She’s always wanted her girlfriends to stay the night. No ma’am to me it’s just like a boyfriend staying the night.
Whether or not you allow it if they are going to do something they will find a way to do it. Wod you rather have an open honest talk with her and find out whats going on and make them leave the door open or have her sneak around behind your back ?
No! Just knowing what my wife had told me! That’s a big NO!
Make them sleep out in the the living room
Absolutely. Better under my roof than in the backseat of a car or off in the bush.
Have all the talks. But you’re not going to stop a 15 year old from being sexually active if they want to be.
Wouldn’t that be the same as your 14 yo son wanting his girlfriend to spend the night? What would you do in that situation? Equality.
Question is, do you have trust in your child, I’d have a no closed door, if the can’t listen to rules, then no way.
NO! NO!! NO!!! End of story!!
Why do we automatically assume someone that is male that identifies as female is out to do someone harm? I’m more worried about a man that actually is a male and coming after me.
Heck No. I wasn’t allowed at 14 that’s crazy. Kids get in too much trouble these days.
We always had boys and girls at our house they knew the rules
Absolutely not this crap is ridiculous
My daughter’s bf lives out of town and often stays days to weeks with us. We have rules and they follow them. If they don’t they suffer the consequences.
I would put some ground rules in place and see from there
I would say put her on birth control, and until it’s taken effect I wouldn’t allow it. And even then I wouldn’t have them in the room with the door closed. Even though this girlfriend identifies as a girl, she still has a penis and can still get your daughter pregnant if it ever goes that way. There are still hormones in effect.
No…its less about gender and more about feelings…they are looking at the other person romantically at 14 and 15 and all the stuff that goes along with that and hormones…nope the rule is the same no matter the chosen gender or the sexual orientation of the child!!
You have to ask? NOPE!
Well !!! I will prefer the sleep over to my at my place and not in someone else.
But , you can always have rules , move the furniture in the living room or family room if you have one and they all can sleep there
Have them sleep in separate rooms. Talk to them about the importance of not experimenting too early, etc. Tell them you were a teenager once and you understand but that doesn’t mean you’ll allow it.
No. There’s no reason at that age to spend the night w a potential “partner”. Too young to date to begin w let alone sleepovers
Sleeping in different areas of the house will probably be your best bet if they do stay. Otherwise I would said no
Went through this once with my daughter when she was experimenting. That’s a little too young to be having sleepovers with your partner in my opinion but you do whatever you feel is okay.
I feel like this is situational. How do they act together? How to they speak to and treat one another? I have 4 boys, single mom. I can’t trust my 13 yo with this right now (not with his current partner at least), but can trust my 11, almost 10, and 4 yo with it (right now). I don’t know if I will allow partners to stay the night, but they are free to come over and spend time with us. That may change, especially on the person/child. I don’t alow anyone sleeping over to stay in bedrooms though, we make it a slumber party in the living room. I set this up with my kids as a boundary, where we only allow those we trust into our home. We can meet some at the door, those we trust we welcome into our kitchen and dining room, those we know more we invite into our living room, but only those we truly trust can we bring into our bedrooms.
set rules, my daughter is 14 & also bisexual she is also with someone that identifies as being he, & I allow him over, but there is rules set, and they obey by them, if not then it won’t be allowed again, if your comfortable with that person coming over then it shouldn’t be a problem, kids now aa days are gonna find a way to do whatever it is they want to do, we were kids once, if your trust your daughter then that shouldn’t even be a question, it’s your house your Rules
i dk it depends on the kid i think. i’m also the type where i’d rather have things happen so i can supervise if they’re going to happen. if it’s going to happen it’s going to happen either in the safety of my home or who knows where else
It’s your house and your child! Do whatever YOU think is right. My daughter has a gf and she stays the night. Not everyone has to agree
No. They’ll be in there experimenting for sure
Have rules but honestly if your worried about them having sex it’ll happen. Their teens. Either under the safety of your home or any place they can. Personally at that age I’d rather just not know and have them do it in a safe place.
And i identify as an ass whooping, fuck around and find out
That’s a no from me, however, when I was 14 I met my now husband and been with him for 16 years. My mom let me stay at his house but my dad was against it so we kept it a secret. We were definitely experimenting at that age!
Really!! yes they are friends. As fro the 15 year old…NO What the hell be a parent would your parents let you have boyfriend or girl friend spend the night in there house??
Nope. No “couple” sleep overs ever no matter what. That is just my personal opinion. If they were just friends different sides of the house with me sleeping in the middle. That’s how I personally would handle it.
Nope, that’s way too much going mixed with hormones.
Well “she” can still get your daughter pregnant so thats something to think about. I have had the odd sleepover but I think I was closer to 16. Open doors at all times. What does her parents think about sleep overs. Definitely something to discuss with them. Do you trust your daughter? Do you trust your daughters girlfriend? All things to think about
Well my view is thier sexuality doesn’t matter!! You have to have the conversations with your child and be open. Honestly if they want to have sex they will!! Whether it’s in your house or not. The most important part is making sure they are safe and educated about it. I’d rather my child be home. Let them camp out in the living room. Hopefully they are just wanting to hang out and sex isn’t part of it. But I’d still be having those conversations and letting my child feel safe to talk to me.
Everyone saying no way…your child is more likely to lie to you and sneak around. Think about it we were all kids.
My daughter had a male friend.He He didn’t like girls. He stayed at my house a lot. They are still friends at 30. I was nervous at first. But I learned from it. I’m not saying I agree . I see their friendship and I would never do anything to take that from her. She is married now with 2 kids.
Same rules apply if my daughter wanted her boyfriend to sleep over. The answer is no.
My daughter has a best friend who is a boy and we would allow him to sleepover. But not her actual boyfriend.
Are these two separate scenarios? I’m confused. Either way, has nothing to do with identity or what their sexuality is, if it’s a romantic relationship absolutely not at 14 or 15, they’re kids, you’re the adult.
Well I don’t have kids that age YET. But I’ll bring it back to my day and im sorry if your worried about them having sex/ fouling around… They will do it anyways! Somewhere and somehow. I sure did! But if you allow the sleep over , maybe have them all stay together like a family room or something open concept and you can keep an eye on things… maybe talk to the other parents? What do they allow and not allow?
What does your mommy intuition say??? Go with what you feel right.
Any person my children have romantic type feelings for will not allowed to stay the night. Boy, girl, trans, doesn’t matter. If you are attracted to that person and consider them dateable, it’s a no from me.
I would let the friends stay but not the girlfriend. Just like I wouldn’t let them stay if it was a boyfriend.
OK the thing is they asked u for a sleep over cud of lied and gone somewhere alone… Which means they trust u, 8 had sleep overs with boys wen was a kids but had to sleep in separate rooms, only u can make that decision but set some ground rules, I think if u don’t they may jus do it alone somewhere that isn’t supervised x
No if they are a couple. I started sexual experiencing with other girls at that age and it really messed me up.
The are teenagers but both too young to be acting out when it comes to sex.
Idc what the sexuality or identity is. My 14 year olds boo thang is not welcome for sleepovers. Tf?!
Nope that wouldn’t happen in my house
Mine went on a school trip and ended up sharing a bed with another in the room on the basis they were all “girls”. Two trans boys and two bi… If you know your daughter wants to have her girlfriend over, then morally treat it as you would any romantic relationship at that age. The trans element and sexual preference element aren’t factors.
Everyone saying no bc they were teenagers once. Let’s be real, the child is being honest. If they wanted to they’ll still “experiment” when given the chance. Don’t be naive.
Nope…he’s still a boy no matter how he identifies…sorry but No Way
Birth control, lots of honest talks and rules… if they have separate sleeping accommodations and your honest from the start it will be better for your relationship… kids are going to “do what they want” regardless… if you can be a safe space for both children and have these talks and bring up your concerns… well at the end of the day at least you know they are both safe . Isn’t that what we all want for our children? To have good communication and them to be safe and honest with us? I’d say it depends on how they behave on a regular basis… if they follow rules respect them and you and are generally good kids I’d say go for it with ground rules!
No, especially if they’re dating
I’m honestly not a fan of sleep overs, period.
You’re going to get a ton of different opinions here… trust your gut.
Have her start birth control, once she can be responsible in taking that then maybe come back to sleep overs, accidents happen and she can at this stage get pregnant, regardless of how her partner identifies. For now I would have visits but not sleep overs until some kind of contraception is in the works.
Absolutely not. They still have a penis (don’t take that the wrong way please)
Have a chat a birth control, etc. But that is far too young to be having sleepovers as a couple, regardless of what they identify as imho.
Knew I shouldn’t have read some of these comments.
Some of you transphobes are really outing yourselves here like damn
No couple sleepovers. No sleepovers at friends houses and I’m even weary of a friend sleeping over because I know how teenagers are. Im ok with visits and going to do something fun but I don’t think staying the night anywhere needs to happen. To much happens in the world today and I may be a paranoid mama but I’d say take them to do something fun… mall, skating… etc… even make it a late night but everyone go back to their own homes after.
Regardless of orientation or gender, I wouldn’t allow a partner of my 14 year old stay over. Maybe, MAYBE at 16-17.
Sleepovers in general are a no for me.
Sorry…I thought I was reading “who’s on first, what’s on second and I don’t know who’s on third!” I’m so confused. As someone mentioned if you have to ask… you already know the answer. Hard NO!
I would say no to sleepovers if they are together. Not because I don’t like the relationship, but because that’s thinking like a responsible parent. If she wants to come over during the day, she’d be welcome any time.
If you don’t let them bond I’m sure they will find a way to go behind your back anyway.
My rule will always be nobody that is seen as a love interest is allowed to stay the night. My daughters only 8 so doesn’t have to worry about that just yet but I was a teenager once too so lol
Please don’t be so naive. I see everyone saying NO, but in reality the kids going to experiment with or without ur permission. They’ll find a way to stay the night one way or another (lying to you ab their where abouts for example) 15 isn’t a baby anymore. Personally I would allow it. I’d have rules of course. Door stays Open at all times. In my house they stayed in the game room til bedtime then bedtime they can go to their room, but one sleeps on the floor or blow up mattress and one on the bed.
If u haven’t talked ab safe sex and the Reality of it to ur child then now would be the time.
Nope. If mines wants to act like an adult she will need her own place and pay her own bills for all that
Sure but imma be part of the sleep over. We watching movies eating pizza doing hair and nails… don’t forget mine!
Look at it this way; would you rather they were doing it under the safety of your own roof, or sneaking about getting into trouble? Because they’re going to be at it either way!
But, you can lay down ground rules. They cannot share a bed and the bedroom door must remain open all night (except briefly while they change clothes, obviously)
I wasn’t allowed to have my partner spend the night until I was 18 years old. I know some people like my fiancés ex, her parents let her partners live with her and she was only 14 at the time. Everyone is different but i personally don’t believe it’s okay. Anything can happen. Pregnancy or bad influence.