When did you allow your children to have sleep overs outside of the house? My daughter is 8 and is wanting a sleep over at her friend from gymnastics house but I don’t know how I feel about it. I have met her parents and talked with them and they seem nice but at the same time, you can’t really know someone so easily these days. Should I let her?
9 Likes
I was like 5 or younger when having sleepovers with cousins.
Friends I was maybe 8 or 9.
I’d Definitely let her. It’s a totally normal age.
When they could talk.
When they are married
3 Likes
I didn’t really play that sleepover nonsense with my kids. Unless it was cousins or family friends I was really close to. I held most of them at my house.
1 Like
At cousins and close friends of ours the kids were sleeping over at 3-4 years old. The first time my son had a sleep over at a friends he was 10. He had his cell phone with him and we texted a few times. He also has a “safeword” that he can send and I will know to go fetch him immediately, no questions asked.
2 Likes
I for sure was having them by 1st grade with neighbors and church friends… I was also in Girl Scouts
I’m not allowing it until my son asks he is 4.5 years old and has never been outside the house over night that includes family members
Yes. Make sure she has a way to reach you and tell her if she feels uncomfortable in any way or doesn’t want to be there for whatever reason, that you will come get her, whatever time it is. Be available for the call. Hope she has fun.
I’d get closer with the parents first at that age, my son is 9 and I still wouldn’t let him have a sleepover unless I had a good relationship with the parents.
1 Like
I don’t see why not if you talked to the parents a couple times. You could ask to talk to her before she goes to sleep…I’ve done that to make sure everything is going okay. Its today understandable that you’re on the fence about it 
Personally id have to know the parents more before id ever consider it…Family sleep overs is fine but not people you dont really know
I don’t wanna be that guy but my mom was raped and sexually assaulted numerous times at her best friend’s house by the friends dad. She never told anyone because she was scared that she would never get to see her friend again. As someone studying crime and sexual assaults for a living, I can tell you it’s the #1 unreported crime and is dangerous. I personally struggle with the idea of my children going to a friends house for sleepovers. They’ve had tons of sleepers at family house. The worst part is that most sexual related crimes for children happen by family or close friends so it’s actually not that much better. Just food for thought.
2 Likes
6 or 7. I have 5 kids so one more isn’t shit.
Never. I don’t trust anyone with my kids. Too much happens.
have the friend stay with you?
Call me paranoid, but I don’t know if it will ever happen for my kids. Staying late sure, but I really don’t see the point. You never really know what someone is capable of. Even family. Everyone one of my friends that were molested as children it was by someone the parents knew and at sleepovers. Also most of my first sexual experiences involved sleepovers. Just saying think about it
1 Like
When they get married
1 Like
Sorry I wouldn’t in all honesty none of us ever knows what goes on in other people’s homes 
you don’t know what you are sending your child to! I only let my kids go to sleepovers where I am good friends with the parents.
1 Like
Invite them for dinner at your place & let the kids hang out?
I’d offer the girl to sleep over at your house. Luckily I’m having a son and idt sleepovers are really a thing for boys but there’s just too much craziness in the world and too many wolves in sheeps clothing for me to ever let a daughter go stay. Especially if there is a father in the other house or brothers. It’s so sad that our kids can’t grow up the way we did.
My son had his first sleep over at age 4. But me and his friends mom are friends🤷♀️
I never had sleep overs. I always felt like I missed out of having that experience
I usually have the kids sleep over at my house first. My kids never really slept anywhere but grandparents houses or aunts and uncles. My daughter was 10 when she went for her first sleepover party, my son was 14 the first time he slept at someone’s house, my younger two still only with family.
I allow my daughter to have sleepovers, however, she’s not allowed to spend the night out
You can know someone for years and things happen. Yes the world is crazy. But let her be a kid. Give her a phone so if for some reason she can call. Explain the no touch zone. And what’s ok and what’s not.
4 Likes
My step daughter is 11 and my oldest bio daughter is 10. We let them go at that age but we got them cell phones. They are not smart phones, just little DORO flip phones that have an emergency feature on the back. They also T9 text like old school.
We told them they can only use it to call anyone in our plan (my husband and I and their siblings) but they have permission to text any family member they want.
That way if they go anywhere we can text and say goodnight or if they are nervous they can text us any time they want to.
It doesn’t have the ability to access internet. It’s a very barebones phone but it’s a clock and a way to contact us and has a feature that if they press the button on the back three times fast, it will set off a very loud siren like alarm and it will call my phone on speaker… if I don’t answer it will call my husband’s phone if he doesn’t answer it will call my phone again etc till one of us answers.
4 Likes
I see so many comments about when the parents were having sleep overs. These times are not the same. Child trafficking wasn’t really a thing when we were kids. All of the rapes and assaults of children were not nearly as heard of and in my opinion society in general wasn’t as sick in the head. It’s a sad reality but things cannot be compared to when we were kids.
You should let her. Just give her a pep talk, if at any point in time she feels uncomfortable she should call and she can come home. She 8 so, I know in my family we have already discussed good and bad touches if you have maybe you should.
But you shouldn’t stop her from having a normal childhood because there are ugly people in the world.
1 Like
For these parents saying “never”, I’d hate it if you were my mother. Sorry, just saying 
I remember sleeping at my cousin Katie’s house before I could even speak properly, I would have my friend Courtney over to stay the night (only because I couldn’t stand her house) I stayed at my friend lizzies in 5th grade and on until we stopped being friends. I had a friend around 6th grade that I was at her house more than my own. Kids have got to have friends, and to keep them locked up inside yours only is kinda selfish and they’ll probably be resentful towards you later on for it. Even if I wasn’t sleeping over when I was in elementary I would go sit at the school play ground just sitting for people to come up all day long. So let me put it this way, because if the strict rules my father gave me once he was out of the picture, I broke every single one of them and ended up pregnant little over a year later. Don’t try to hold your kids back, let them be who they’re going to be. If they wanna take themselves down the wrong path, there’s absolutely nothing you can do to stop it.
4 Likes
My daughter was 4 her first sleep over at a friends from daycare. She had a blast.
My kids are only allowed to sleep over somewhere where I am really close friends with the parents and have known them a good amount of time. I am not ok with just talking to a parent and deciding my kid can stay over. If that’s the case, The friend can potentially stay at our house then.
Why don’t you arrange for a play date at each other’s houses before the sleepover? You can both see what the inside of the house is like. If you’re comfortable with what you see…let her try it. Always remember the first time can be scary so don’t be surprised if you get a call in the middle of the night. ALWAYS LET HER KNOW THAT IF SHE FEEKS UNCOMFITABKE SHE SHOULD CALL. YOU,!
3 Likes
8 is more than old enough for a sleepover. My only concern at this point would be covid. I probably went on my first sleepovers at around 6.
2 Likes
With the world we live in today, there’s no way I’d trust anybody having my daughter over at their house. She goes to her dad’s and my parent’s…that’s it. She wants to have a sleepover then they can come to our house.
4 Likes
Does she have a phone? Do you have a safe sentence where you can go pick her up w/o her having to say “come pick me up”? Many sexual assault stories are from dad’s, brothers at sleepovers I would not allow it unless you have talked about self safety extensively
Maybe instead of a sleep iver ket her stay a little later like until about 8-9 right before time to get ready for bed
1 Like
My son is 7 and has only stayed at my sisters with her kids.
Let her, but she needs to have a phone and a code word for you so you know if she uses it you need to go get her, have that convo with her so she knows the signs… I slept over at my cousins house at 8 and she was 7 and her step dad was a pedophile… I won’t go into details but I wish I would’ve had a phone to call my mom. My daughter is 7 and so far she hasn’t asked to stay the night anywhere yet but she already knows when she does she’ll have a phone and we will have a code word, let her tell you what word it is and remember it. It’s a scary world and just getting worse I’m terrified of this stage…
1 Like
I guess that depends in how much you know the other kid’s family and if you’ve been in their household a couple of times. If you’re not comfortable as the parent, you have all the right to say no & that’s fine. Don’t feel bad about it you just have to trust your instincts. Giving her a phone is also a good idea & discuss with her “secret keywords” to text you if something’s not right. Kids cannot always call when there’s something urgent.
2 Likes
Just make sure the parents are clean and watch their children. I’m dealing with head lice from a sleep over so not worth it
My kids were 5 and 7 for their first ones.
The only way my kids can spend the night away is if I KNOW the parents. I don’t mean I’ve met them, I have to truly know them. My kids have stayed with friends of mine that have kids and that’s about it.
3 Likes
My oldest stayed with one of her friends when she was 7 BUT we lived in an apartment complex at the time and the other girls apartment was like kiddy-corner from ours. Once they moved away, I let her stay with them still. She hasn’t had sleepovers with anyone else until this last year. She was 10 when I started letting her stay with this other friend.
I don’t let my kids do sleepovers. The world has become to dark of a place. There’s no way, unless it’s family
5 Likes
No!!! Invite that child to sleep at your house and go out of your way to make it special for your daughter. My daughter is 9 and can have who ever she wants over but she absolutely can NOT spend the night at anyone else’s house. I do not the parents of the brother or the cousin or the freaky ass neighbor next door.
I only let my daughter stay the night with people I know really well. My sister, her best friend from dance (got to know them really well first), my friends houses. Never a stranger or anyone from school.
2 Likes
My first sleep over was about that age but it was at a house down the street not sure if that took a factor in my mom’s decision or not but I see your hesitation
1 Like
Have a sleepover at your house and pick a night to have parents over for dinner. My daughter constantly wants to have sleepovers with people I don’t know… the answer is NO!!!
My daughter is 8 and she just hosted her first sleep over 
I think it was easier for her best friends parents to allow because they literally live 2 houses down we always invite her mother over for events and also her mother has our house number cellphone number as well as has a cellphone for her daughter so her parents and older siblings could call whenever as well as stop by whenever to check in on their daughter. The sleepover went so well that they are having another this weekend and my daughters best friends parents are taking them skating. I say the best thing you can do is go off of your mothers intuition do you have any bad vibes about it??
1 Like
I don’t let my kids sleep over with friends. Id like to but with how things are i just don’t trust people. They will only stay with their grandparents and aunt and uncle. They will be just fine without it.
My kids will never sleep out. I’m a survivor of sexual abuse.
1 Like
No. I have a almost 9 yr old and a 10 yr old. No sleepovers ever. Visits ok. Other social activities ok
2 Likes
The only place I would allow my children to sleep over is their grandparents, dads sister or my best friend of almost 11 years house (her daughter often stays at my house for the night) I think she should be an age where she has a cellphone in case of an emergency or if she doesn’t feel safe.
You cant be that cynical. You cannot teach your children to be scared, just teach them to be careful. I used to have 8 or 9 kids sleeping over every weekend. My 31 and 33 year old children always say how their childhood was amazing. Socializing is part of growing up. Just use your common sense in making sure they are safe
4 Likes
If it’s that big of a deal to let your kids sleep over at other peoples homes then get them a prepaid cell phone with only emergency contacts in it. They take it with them and they can always reach you or someone who could come get them if something happens. We usually do play dates and chatting with the parents before we graduate to sleepovers. My son is 10 and has been doing sleepovers since he was 6. Statistically kids are more likely to be abused by someone they know like a family member or family friend so unless you’re keeping your children home 100% of the time and never letting other people around them, you’re not protecting them 100%. It’s better to talk to them about inappropriate touching or talking by adults they know and trust. It is a sad world we live in but we can’t over protect our kids either. It’s been my experience that kids whose parents are crazy over protective and strict are the ones who engage in extremely risky behavior once they get just a tiny bit of freedom.
3 Likes
My son was about 6 when he had his first sleepover with a friend. He’s only done it a few times since then, and only select friends. He’s 13 now. He’s had sleepovers with family since he was about two. I teach him to be careful, and of course to always come to me, but it’s doing him a disservice to smother him.
2 Likes
My mom knew both of my friends parents really well. They both worked for our school district. From 6 and on, I spent like 3 days a week with them and vice versa.
I mean, yes we live in a really dangerous time at the moment, but I will make an effort the build good relationships with other parents so I can have trust and security and my girls can be normal teenagers.
Be an active parent. Meet the parents. Build a relationship and trust with them. Yes it’s a scary time, but kids deserve to have normal childhoods despite that. It’s our job to make it safe enough for them. Host the sleep over. Build relationships.
1 Like
Good God you guys are ridiculous. I’d let her have a sleep over. I cant believe how many hover parents are out there.
5 Likes
I probably wouldn’t.
I would if I knew the parents well. My 8 year old was going to spend the night with his BFF but he got scared so my 6 year old stayed the night instead 
They live walking distance from us and had a camp out party. My 6 year old did awesome and had a great time 
1 Like
I need your name, car, where they work, their phone number, their work number, who’s in the home, how many exists, are their teenagers, etc. If the parents can’t give any information that I need? Answer is no.
I need to know my kids are safe in your care for the night. Once we met a couple of times? I wouldn’t have an issue with it.
3 Likes
My daughter is 15 and I have never let her sleepover with anyone besides her God parents, God sisters or her Mentor
My kids have sleepovers with their best friends but I’ve known all the mothers for 7 years. Our kids have grown up together. Other then that nope.and my babysitter I’ve known her since I was 15 and same our kids grew up from babies.
Jesus, way too many helicopter moms. The kid is 8 years old and old enough to go sleep over at a friend’s house if you’ve met the parents and approve of them. Hiding kids away from life experiences because of what might happen is why kids fail at life and why they’re scared of their own shadows.
4 Likes
I spent whole weekends at my best friend’s house growing up. My parents gave me a cell phone to call them if I needed anything and usually just said “be back 8am Sunday morning”. We were practically attached at the hip (still are 15 years later) and if they hadn’t allowed that, I wouldn’t have had that relationship
1 Like
My son has only slept over at a few friends’ homes and we know them very well.
Probably not a good idea during a pandemic.
1 Like
Maybe try making a coffee date with the parents beforehand. I let my daughter sleep over at her classmates house when she was 8, there were no problems. Walk her inside and have a little conversation with the parents of what to expect.
My daughter had a small sleepover on her 8th birthday - everything was going fine but then a few started dropping like flies! They wanted their mommies and wanted to go home! So there is that to consider at such an early age - haha!
1 Like
During a pandemic? I’m not sure how safe that would be.
2 Likes
I have never in my life done sleep overs. My parents let us do late nights where they would come get us at like 10 or something, and we could get up and go back with a box of donuts or McDonald’s in the morning. That’s what I do with my kids now. It was how I was raised and I never minded it. 
1 Like
Wow! This is why we have anxiety kids breaking down let them go of course make sure you met the parents an know them a bit and if your kid is ready my daughter went to sleep overs at 6 she was old enough to call or come home if needed a couple of times she did come home but you need to let your kids make decisions on their own too they need to learn social skills and experience some fun away from mom and dad
I was 5 when my parents started letting me. My daughter was 7 before her first non-family overnight.
My daughter stayed at a neighbor’s house when she was three. I was good friends with the mom & the son (age 6) was best friends with my son & also my daughter. I think my friend was a single mom at that time. I asked my friend to keep the kids overnight when I wasn’t sure what time I would get home from a business event. I got home earlier than expected & my son happily cane home with me. My daughter stood at the top of the stairs & declared, “Well I came to spend the night!” And that was that.
Kids learned about “bad touch” in day care, Scouts & Sunday school & always knew they could call me any time & I could call to check on them any time. Know the family, ask whether or not anyone else will be in the home, go over safety rules (like never fearing an adult could do anything to you, there are no secrets, it’s OK to yell if you don’t feel safe, do not get in a car to go anywhere & have a safe word to let you know to come right away). Also might be safer in groups, like a birthday party sleepover. And all these apply if you have a son too.
My son is 6 and I told him that when he’s old enough to have a cell phone he can spend the night at friends, after I’ve met and them and gotten a good account of who is living in the house. I want my son to be able to call me at 3 am to come get him if something isn’t right. I remember always having to ask the parents of my friends to use there phone to call home. I want him to be able to dial me anytime he needs me and know that I will be right there. But most importantly who lives in the house, who will be there, what’s parents story, and contact info. Things happen even with older siblings hurting younger friends. It’s so sad and scary but we have to do what we have to do to protect our babies. I always make sure my house is the “fun” house where the friends always want to stay here instead.
Let the kid live a little talk to her about the importance of what should and shouldn’t go on at a sleep over let her take a phone for emergency only to call you if she needs you or offer the other child to come stay at your house if she has not yet
1 Like
I would get to know the parents first , you can’t trust people these days . Just make sure your baby is and is gonna be safe
2 Likes
If you have a bad feeling about,don’t.
Honestly I don’t know that I’ll ever let my daughter go to a sleepover somewhere other than with family. Too many horror stories about things that happen, and I just don’t trust people easily. It really is about you, how well you know the family, how comfortable you are with it, and on the individual child.
1 Like
Does she have any cousins? Maybe have sleep overs with family until you know your daughter can defend her self if anything happens
1 Like
If they’re friends yes. Nothing wrong with that.
Your child is 8 and never had a sleepover??? Omg! Stop raising weak libtards!!!
6 Likes
This is so hard but at some point we have to stop letting our fears get in the way of letting our kids experience life. Get on a good level with the parents, go over everything with your daughter, and give her a means of communication in case she needs to contact you. Good luck momma
2 Likes
Maybe see if they will let their daughter stay at your house if you aren’t comfortable yet. I started sleeping over at people’s houses at 6 and I’ll probably be the same with my son.
I don’t think my kids will ever sleepover somewhere without me. Their friends can come and sleep over if their parents feel comfortable, but I don’t feel comfortable.
2 Likes
I would talk with the parents get to know them. Ask the important questions, where would you daughter sleep are there other children sleeping over too? I guess the other deal is how worried are you about Covid exposure.
1 Like
My daughter slept over at her friends house last year when she was 7. It was across the street at the neighbors house.
My child is only 2 but my husband and I have decided she will never go to a sleepover. They’re literally just going to sleep. She can play there until bedtime and come home to sleep in her own bed.
I’ve been to my fair share of sleepovers and really she won’t be missing anything.
3 Likes
First sleepover at a friends and that same friend at our house happened when the girls were 5 & 6 years old and in Grade 1 at school. There were plenty of play dates before that as the they had been friends since they were in Kindy so we had already known the family for around 3 years.
My son is 6 and has only ever slept at a family members house purely because I don’t think he is quite ready for an overnighter due to his maturity and also come bed time I think he would miss me!
I feel like if your asking this question out loud she isn’t ready . Always trust your intuition . It’s so hard to really know people these days and you never know what’s going on behind closed doors and what they expose their child too . I personally don’t think I’ll let my son sleep over anywhere but that’s just me .
2 Likes
Sleep overs at our house we do (mainly cousins) I’ve never even let my daughter (8) nor my son’s sleep over anywhere except for grandma’s house .Im just not comfortable with it .
I’d say go 4 it. ur kid will let u know if she wants 2 come back home or not go over there again.
If her friend only has a female parent I would be okay with it but if they have a male parent, then no way
1 Like
Didn’t! Accept with grandparents or cousins.
Nope! Wasn’t comfortable with it for mine, nor with nieces or anyone else’s kids. To scary for me.
My opinion.
2 Likes
Don’t plan on ever letting my daughters have them
1 Like
If you feel unsure dont. Or you could give her a phone and tell her that if she feels uncomfortable or unhappy and wants to leave for any reason she just needs to call you and say something like…mom did you make your special pasta for dinner?..and you will both know she wants to come home right away. Read a story about something like this and no questions asked tou go get her and she doesn’t have to actually let the people near her know thats what she’s asking for. Give her an private quick no questions asked out. And if trust your gut and if you can’t and are unsure now may just jot be the time and get to know them more.
1 Like
My daughter stays the night with people who are like family and shes 4 whatever your comfortable with
My kids are 5 & 2 & since they were like 2-3 months old been sleeping over at different family members houses. I cant wait for my kids to have sleep overs with their friends like i did! To me its a part of growing up & i would also never want my kid to feel left out. If the parents were weird then i would say my house only, but if the parents are good then all for it!
3 Likes
I had sleepovers from age 4 at my best friends house but my mom was also best friends with her mom. I didnt start having other sleepover until about 7.