Block him off. No proof until he mans up and goes to court and does things the proper way. Including child support and dna testing. He won’t go that route…it will expose too much of his lies and inconsistencies. He will ghost. Ignore him completely unless you feel it would be healthy for baby boy. Doesn’t sound like it is though.
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Block him and his family. Fuck him. Why is this even a question?
I’d change your phone number and file for sole custody, screw him
That man deserves no babies! Block him.
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You asking this tells me you know the “line” should have already been drawn. Don’t let a dead beat dad try and tell you what to do! He can put some effort in and jump through hoops if he wants to be in his sons life, but something tells me that you won’t even have to worry about that! If his family wants a relationship with your child they can put forth the same effort! He sounds like an absolute idiot and I’m sure you and your kiddo are better off without him.
PS, I would probably reach out to “new baby mama” and tell her all about his other child so maybe she can see him for the man he really is, I’m sure keeping “secret” children is just the beginning of his true colors.
Keep taking care of you and your son, super mom! 
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LOL you do what you wantttttt
It is in no way up to you to “update” his family or him for that matter…It’s up to them to reach out and make visits happen. He wants to see him? He can go to you, it’s much easier for him than a child to travel. If hes not on the birth certificate technically he has no rights and has no say. If he wants to be part of his life then let him prove it but stand your ground. Do what you think is best for your child! Making sure they have and keep a relationship is not up to you but him.
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I would just block him.
First and foremost I would definitely file child support on him since it takes two people to make a baby and he has a responsibility. Second I wouldn’t update nobody abt your child in the end. Third if he going to hide your son from his new baby mama then that’s his problem. Just block him and cut him off
I would stop all contact now. If he’s not on the birth certificate, then he has no legal right to the child until he goes to court to prove paternity and get a parenting plan put in place by a judge. You have no obligation to continue with toxic interactions. Sounds like you and your child are better off without this “father”.
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If he really wanted to be part of your sons life HE would be doing whatever needed to be done. Not your responsibility to make sure him and/or his family remain in contact.
I think your child would be so scared-he’s too small to remember those 2 encounters-dont send him please…And you would be too far away to comfort him…
Oh-and screw the …He’s not his daddy-sperm donor is his title…
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Ignore him. Don’t open the door for that kind of drama and dysfunction for you and your kid. Block his number and just stop replying to him.
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That’s a no from me dawg
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I wouldn’t allow that.Block him
Ummm, you should of drawn that line long long ago.
You draw the line where you feel it’s best for your child not wear any of the rest of us feel you know your child the best out of all of us
Fuck you baby daddy !!!
Block him completely and ignore him.
Uh definitely not 
I wouldn’t even talk to him, he doesn’t see him on the regular, doesn’t talk to him, doesn’t pay child support and he has to keep him a secret pfft definitely hell no to any and all his demands like he has a choice
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Lol I would have drawn the line at "didn’t sign the birth certificate " so if he wants to demand having the child in his life he can get a paternity test and get his rights that way. No “father” would do this to their child, fuck that pos your child is not a toy to be played with or hidden from a “baby momma” 
NOPE.
He can cry about it. If he wants to pursue this, he’ll need a DNA test and some court orders. And I’m going to guess he won’t want to go through all that, so…fuck him.
wth?! i’d be calling at ALL times!!
Not on the birth certificate so why are you upset? Can’t get child support if he’s not the legal farther. So why are you bent out of shape entertaining him?
You have 0 legal obligation to do anything. And all you’re doing is stressing. You’re creating stress that clearly isn’t needed. Ignore him.
He clearly doesn’t want to be a Dad. And he’s not on the birth certificate. So why are you stressing about a trash human?
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A secret?!?! Wtf??? Tell him to grow TF up! Put him on child support and if he wants to see him he can take you to court. Bye.
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Block the number, get a restraining order and live your life girl!
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Eww lol just no. F him.
He straight up abandoned his kid and now he wants to see him? Sure. He can fly there, pay all travel expenses, pay child support and back pay.
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You should’ve drawn the line when he had left you pregnant at 3 months!! If hes not even on the birth certificate then I dont see why your entertaining it! Think about the harm that will do to your kid by having someone that obviously cares nothing about your child! smh
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He probably has a woman that is telling him to do this or hes trying to impress. Probably not about the child at all. Id ignore any correspondence.
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So tell the father if he wants to see him then you can put him on a bus an send him to see his dad. My cousin did the same thing with her 2yr old daughter when her father lived in Florida an she lived in Vermont.
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You or your son owe this asshole nothing. Go on with your lives. Don’t even give him a 2nd thought. If you feel worried contact a lawyer for advice.
If he has stayed out of your sons life this long, do full custody and tell him to go away.
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You are responsible for your parenting He is responsible for his . If he cant figure it out and make a place in his child’s life that’s on him . I will say your only responsibility to him is to be flexible within reason. I also feel if he cant claim your child to his GF or ? Then he has made his choice.
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Honestly I believe you are causing unnecessary stress for yourself. You don’t have to bother with him at all especially sense he’s not even on the birth certificate. If he wanted to be a father you would have gotten court papers along time ago. I wouldn’t be in contact with him at all.
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he has no rights without paternity…Tell him if hes that concerned to get a lawyer and talk to you then.block him
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Tell him to f***off, if he wants to see his son he should come and visit him, its up to him to update his family
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He’s not on the certificate, doesn’t support him doesn’t have contact with him , son is 2. Can’t travel. Doesn’t know father or father know son. Contact legal AID !!
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Why the HELL ARE YOU EVEN TALKING TO THIS PENDEJO! Now something is so so WRONG with you ! You don’t need this SHIT in your baby’s LIFE or your life . COME ON DON’T BE A PENDEJA!!
change your# and move
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Don’t stress it. Ignore it. No name on the birth certificate, no child support, no visits means no father. He can’t make you do anything.
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He isn’t being very honest to either of you I’d shut him down an not allowing him contact if your son is a secret to new baby moma what else is he hiding from you both id be done not an example of honesty i would have mine around an i did move mine away he had no contact forever when mine got old enough to make that decision as adult to find him i let them where he was but they both learned an understood why now
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Please don’t respond to that abusive person. Hard stop.
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Tell him no visitation until he puts in an effort to get to know his son 
(FaceTime) so he can update his family himself
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Wow… There would be no line for me. He crossed that by not putting the time in never mind throwing out demands. Bye bye I’d say!!
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He has no rights unless he takes you to court. Ignore him
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If the baby is a secret wht would he ask you to send him there by plane? The only person you need to worry about is the baby. If his family wants updates they can call you but you are not obligated to let anyone see your baby if you feel it would be unsafe in any way. But i wouldn’t keep my baby from his family if i was comfortable with them. But i definitely wouldn’t put my 2 y/o on a plane.
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I dont speak to my kids dad that does pay and sees them every other weekend. He always calls me names. We haven’t spoken, not even over text for 2 years.
You draw the line NOW. Even if he was a part of your sons life, he would pay for airfare and need to come get him as you don’t put a two yo alone on a plane. How does he plan on keeping his son a secret from the new baby mom and it’s not your responsibility to keep his family informed, that’s his job. I would not respond to him, block him and contact a lawyer. Good luck.
Cut him off completely…He left you both a long time ago. Your child is a blessing and clearly that man doesn’t deserve to be apart of that baby’s life. I wouldn’t want my son thinking that is the way fathers should treat their precious babies.
I would send him a text telling him if he wants to be a part of his sons life then he should figure out how to do it. It’s not your responsibility or concern what he or his family want. He left.
Unless you are abusive (verbally, mentally, financially) then he has no reason not to take care of his son.
My SO has an 8mo. He hasn’t met because his ex is abusive. We’re taking her to court over it, because it has to be done that way.
Change your number. He’s in a mood and just wants to get under your skin. Doubt he means any of it.
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Block his number and your social media
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4 words: Take.Me.To.Court.
No other explanation or communication needed. Do NOT put your child on a plane…bus…donkey!
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Tell him to take you to court. I would not fly my child to a stranger.
Not sure where you are, but here in arkansas, .if he’s not on the birth certificate he has no parental rights and even if he was on birth certificate he would have to establish parental rights in court. I’d change my number and block him on all social media. Your son deserves better than being someone’s secret from his father’s new partner. He obviously is only threatening you to get to you and has no real desire to see his son. How would he explain your son’s presence to his gf if son is a secret.
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Done! That is ridiculous! No one pretends my child doesn’t exist! Eff that!!!
No, no, no…to everything.
No rights do what you want. I also know that if he moved he has to pay for the plane. And you have a right to refuse because he’s not on bc and won’t tell his baby momma. Red flags. He has no power. Is he persists make him take you to court. Unless you want to be told your being silly. Your not. Why should your kid be his dirty little secret and the child is the only victim
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I wouldn’t reply to his messages. If he wants to be part of your child’s life then he can go through the courts.
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Tell him to kiss your ass and change your phone number.
If he isn’t on birth cert. He has no obligation to him u so t have to even deal with him I would blow him off like he didn’t even exsist not unless u want your son to know who his father is …but if he kept it up harassing u his wife sure would know about it it wouldn’t a secret no more
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First u pay back child support then I MIGHT think about it (send to a stranger alone in a plane right)
F*** that,I’d block and wash my hands with him
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So block his his number.
You have no reason or obligation whatsoever to talk to him or give him any excuses for anything you do and you sure as he’ll dont have to give into his demands
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If he was actually asking how your child was doing, then yeah keep him involved. But with how he’s acting it seems like he is just demanding things. It seems like one day his family is pushing him to be a father (he’s probably telling them that you’re keeping the baby away) and then the next he just goes oh well. Tell your child about him, don’t lie to your child but also don’t talk crap about him. The only way that would show the “dad” really cares about the child is if he flew to see the child, AND if he petitioned the court to be put on the birth certificate. But like I said, it seems like it’s his family pushing the connection and not him. If he’s hiding your child from his new GF/baby momma, when y’all aren’t even in the same state, he will not treat that your child how he deserves to be treated.
If I was in your situation, I wouldn’t block him, but I would never send my child on a plane to someone like that. I would send HIM updates maybe every couple weeks. Send him a few pictures, but that’s only if HE asked for them. Tell him he can come visit your child, but he is not taking him or being alone with him unless he gains your trust because as of now, the courts don’t even know who the father is, so if he ever tried to take the child, he’d get arrested for kidnapping.
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Girl, ignore, block, delete. Live ya life!
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Cut 
him off PERIOD. Your son by no means should be a secret His dad doesn’t have any right to threaten you nor shouldn’t he be allowed to make random demands. You and your child deserve peace of mind. He’s fronting to impress others and to make himself feel better. You owe his family nothing. him off.
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How does he expect you to put him on a plane to visit him if the other mom doesn’t know of his existence?
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Put him on child support and tell him bye.
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I’d tell him to get bent. If he wants to see the child he can figure out for u guys to get there and room and board for our stay. Better yet he can bring u to court and pay child support and it won’t be a secret if he really cared he would be there.
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I’d laugh personally
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Ignore him block him he doesn’t exist
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Hes not on the birth certificate. So basically he can either take you to court to prove paternity or he can fuck right off.
Easy u block his #
He really wants a life with his son he will move mountains
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Tell him to take you to court
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Sound like the situation with my oldest bio dad. And I said no to sending my son on a plane and he threaten to take me to court my son 10 and still havent done shit. Funny how fathers think they have all this rights. Yes fathers have rights but fathers have to go to court to claim those rights until then fathers have zero rights. Make him do the work.
Cut him off. Fuck that
Maybe I am wrong but there is no way I would ever put a 2 yr old on a bus to see the other parent. If they want to see a 2 yr old come and see him. But a bus???
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Ditch that joke your child deserves so much better then that. He is not a father.
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I think yous would be better off without that nonsense.i really feel for you.thats so sad.you are mothering and fathering your child so you make the choice thats best for both of you.
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I’d laugh him out of the room. There is no way someone with so little involvement be able to DEMAND anything from me. He is at YOUR mercy. Furthermore, I wouldn’t let my child be involved with anyone if their being kept a secret from a baby momma. That’s HIS child. Why is he a secret in the first place.
I’d just stop responding. Tell him he’s more than welcome to start asking things of you as soon as he gets on a proper visitation schedule and starts helping financially. That should take care of it because he likely doesn’t want any real responsibility.
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Sounds like a lousy father to me better off how it is…
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If hes that adamant on it, I’d be telling him that your going to go through the process of put him on the birth certificate and then your going to get child support. See what he has to say about that. Oh and you might want to tell him to shove it when it comes to HIS expectation on you telling his family about the child. After you do that, block that losers number.
You don’t owe him anything. All of the ball’s are in your court.
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Oh hell no. Tell him to fuck off cuz the state doesn’t even see him as the daddy 
Cut his ass off, 100%!
Babe hes not on the birth cert, he jas absolutely no right on gods green earth to tell you what to do with your son…you could litterally reply with the fingers emoji and be done with it…
Tell his baby momma! why keep his secret when his not supporting you or your son?
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everywhere & his definitely one
He should stay out of your life!!!
Cut off all contact. You don’t have to subject yourself to emotional abuse who’s only using your son to continue his abuse & control over you. He’s not on the BC, there’s no child support order. He’s not legally his father, has no rights. If he truly wants a relationship with your son he’ll take you to court. Keep a journal of every contact. Don’t reply!!! Block him on everything, change your phone number, move if you can.
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The line should have already been drawn. He made his choice a long time ago. Move on.
He obviously doesn’t want to be a good father so you go ahead a make the choice for the well being of your son. Look for a man who will step in and be the dad he needs.
And do not send your child to see him. That will be a huge mistake.
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Unless you have a court order saying he gets visitations you don’t have to do anything. As for his family that’s his job… I tell my ex what is going on with the kids but beyond that it’s on him if he wants to update anyone else. As for putting him in a plane, no… not at 2 and not during this pandemic, they would require your son to wear a mask and what happens if he takes it off on the plan, they land and kick your son off? And in God knows what city?? He is crazy
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I would call during off hours and say I am about out food for your son. Send money now.
He sounds like a piece of 
If he wants anything to do with the child then make him pay for the blood work to prove he is daddy then he can pay you all that back child support and take care of all dental, vision, and medical bills. Yep he should.
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Draw the line and set it on fire so he can never cross it!! No child should be kept secret! They should be celebrated! If he can’t make the effort he shouldn’t get the privilege of knowing YOUR son! He has no rights as he’s not on the birth certificate. Close the door and lock it. Your son will be better off xx
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First and foremost your only responsibility is that you do allow him information on his son. If he makes the effort to see him, do not deny your child that. I know he sucks. It certainly sounds like it. But I promise he will be curious and this will cause him grief in the future. You cannot save him from that. You never want him to look at you and ask why you prevented a relationship in any way. Unless of course the man was dangerous. You have no other responsibility. His family can call and check on him and have a relationship if they choose. That’s not your responsibility.
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Just stop talking and answering that’s what I started doing. My son is 15 and he is old enough to say enough is enough. I know it’s sad but I’m over it myself. He doesn’t do anything for him and sees him when it’s convenient for him. I finally quit making him go as he is miserable when he does go.
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If he’s not on the birth certificate he technically has NO legal right to your son. He would have to go to court get DNA testing then do a parent plan. And that would ruin his relationship with his new baby mom so I doubt he’s going to do anything more. Change your number block him & his family. Straight up ghost them. He’s your son. He’s your family. Your son is not theirs.
Its been crossed. I wouldn’t send him unless your going with. He might not send him back. If he’s keeping him a secret, why would he want him now to go over there. If he wants to see him, he can come here. Even then I wouldn’t trust him. He can get a lawyer if he wants rights. Good luck. Keep your boy safe. I am a single mom of 2. Their dad lives 3 hours away and don’t seem to care a whole lot either. It gets frustrating. But I was with him for few years after our kids were born. He is now with someone else with 2 more kids and sees ours only once a month. Aorry you have to deal with a looser
Nope. No thank you demand something that he doesn’t put forth an effort. This is so he can say well she wouldn’t let me see my kid. He wants to know about him? HE can call and ask. If he had had more to do with your child in the last 2 years then it would be different. Start keeping a journal for when he contacts you and what he says.
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I feel your anxiety. I have had this happen. Your child doesn’t need to be around an erratic untrusted worthy human. If he has siblings he can meet them when they are older. He is not missing out.
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