You should have a conversation with him about why it would be extremely inappropriate to introduce kids to people he’s dating, it doesn’t matter how serious he rhinks that things are, However, since you’re not together, it really isn’t any of youe business if he cheated or not or if he’s movwd on too quickly, none of your business anymore unless you’re thinking about getting sole custody, then maybe you’d havw to dig to see if he cheated or not…
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. When is a reasonable time to start a relationship after you break up with someone who you've been with for 6 years and had 2 kids with?
Everyone has their own healing time and he may not even be healed just trying to cover it up. Just move on if he is and if not work on yourself.
Well my hubby and I were serious one month in. When you know you know.
You don’t get to decide whom he sees. And as for serious? My parents knew each other for 31 days when they got married. 58 years later they are still together.
Relationships are always “serious” in the beginning bc they are new so of course you are head over heels for the new person and think it’s going to last forever. Doesn’t mean he was necessarily cheating but I would give it more time myself. At least 6 months. I would personally do longer but that’s my opinion.
Whenever the person wants
There is no timeline, each person is different. 3 months is plenty of time to be serious if you know what you want and you find somebody worth being serious about.
My parents were engaged within 6 months of meeting and have been married for 35 years.
My husband and I moved in together before 6 months and had basically spent every night together since the first week we met.
When you know, you know.
I was w My ex 5 yrs when I left him I started dating within a couple months. After only 3 months of dating we were engaged. This month we have married 10 years together 11. 
I never cheated on my ex but when I was done I was Done n ready to move on.
My soon to be ex husband was seeing someone the same day he got out of jail after I got him for a domestic abuse with me but took me almost a yr to get with my bf I’m with now but me and him was talking maybe 5 to 6 months b4 that
I was with someone else when i met my now husband. I just knew from the start. So left my ex and me and hubby have been together almost 14 years now.
I feel like alot of people are missing the part about the kids. I cant imagine after just 3 months of mom and dad being apart that the kids are ready to meet dads new girlfriend. How old are the kids?
He can date as soon as you break up. That’s he’s choice. As for his partner meeting the kids I would leave it for 1 Year to 2 Years (people tend to try to fake who they are in relationships but, after about the 1 Year mark you can generally see what type of person they are) for the kids safety and also request that you meet her before hand (not to be a bitch but, to meet the person that your kids are going to be around also, to talk about boundaries or any concerns you have.
Well if it’s serious after 2 months then he was seeing her while you 2 were together and dating someone for 2 months is to soon to be introducing the children to
Well are you comfortable with the kids meeting them now or would u rather a later date? Maybe explain that. He’s moved on so meeting will happen but you can maybe set a time Frame and tell him you’d be comfortable if they met someone he was with maybe abt 6 months because the kids need stability and them meeting a new girl every 3 months isn’t good. Explain all that so u don’t sound like a bitter ex and he knows you’re trying to co parent like a respectful adult
Lessons learned the hard way…you date a minimum of 6 months before introducing them to the kids.
Everyone is different, BUT I met my now husband less than a month after meeting my ex of 6 years with one child. I knew almost instantly that he was the one. I didn’t introduce my son for another 6 months however, but everyone is different 
Doesn’t matter now that you’re broken up. But I don’t think he should be introducing the kids until maybe 6mo earliest.
You don’t get to decide how soon is too soon for anyone but you my dear
Just because you’re still caught up and hurt about it doesnt mean he has to feel the same way.
The timeline changes for each and every single person.
Now about the kids. I sure as hell wouldnt want to introduce the new girlfriend rn. Or even anytime soon. I’d definitely tell him he needs to wait at least 9 months before intros are set up.
We need to know damn well this chick ain’t no quick fling
You know him better than her…your call
It might be serious, or it might be he did cheat and she got pregnant and now it’s serious, or it might be telling u the truth! Everybody lies, there is always going to be a story to tell. Maybe ask to meet her as well… put your own feelings aside, u and him didn’t work, he has kids , she might want to meet them, and that’s ok, as long as she is good to them , and the kids are happy and healthy…it took me a while I was the wife. My ex husband lied to me for awhile went behind my back ect. But that’s my story, not all of it but some. I STILL do this day do not like her, and I never will because my now 10 year old. Tells me he doesn’t even like her. But when I first found out… I was not as calm will will say the least…
I was engaged at two months with my husband… going on seven years married…
No matter your feelings it’s not your choice. 
I would tell him to let u meet her first before introducing your kiddos to her
My opinion, whenever the individual person is ready. If he’s a good dad, you should trust his judgement on introducing his new girlfriend to the kids. However, if you two have an agreement, like you meet her before the kids or a set time frame etc, then stick to that. I’m not sure how old your kids are, but if they’re a little older, ask them how they feel about meeting her. He may have been cheating, but he may not have been and may be being honest about only being with her for 2 months and it being serious.
He’s been seeing her! I wouldn’t introduce my kids after only dating for a couple of months. I would have to know alot more about her before she met kids.
My husband was with his ex for 10 years (granted, they don’t have children together) but him & I were more serious & in love then they ever were within the first few weeks.
Time doesn’t mean much in relationships, in this sense. Someone can treat you better, make you feel more loved, happier, in a month than someone else did in 10 years 
Also, he wasn’t cheating on her with me. We met a couple days after they broke up. But it was an instant, magnetic connection that has only grown stronger with time!
A man can be with you for 10 years but never commit and he can be with someone for a week and know if he wants to marry them.
My daughter’s father introduced his girlfriend 2 weeks after we ended our 7 year relationship hahahha, he swore it was true love this time, everything was perfect, of course it was, everything is perfect at the beginning, needless to say that blew up pretty quick, so he’s gonna end up doing whatever he wants anyway, just be sure to establish clear boundaries for your kids and her, it hurts yes and like hell it does, but you’ll get over it, just do what’s best for your kids 
I would also request to meet her. The same way that they are his kids they are still yours. You also need to feel comfortable with what’s going on with your kids but you also can’t prevent him from introducing people to the kids unless it puts them in danger
All the comments are pretty irrelevant. No one can really answer this one for you. Meet her first without the kids and then you decide. First impressions are important.
IDK. I knew I was going to marry my husband after the 3rd date. We were engaged after two months. Married almost 12 years now.
6 months to a year… Not before
You two probably got serious pretty quick too 
He should be with someone for at least a year, if not two before introducing children
Put your feelings aside. Tell him to study and research if this is too soon for the KIDS NOT YOU!!! When exactly was the last time the kids seen you and him together as a happy couple being a real couple? The longer it’s been the better it easier it will be for the kids to see him with a new women. The ages of the children factor in too. Next tell him to ask himself if this will make the children mad at him or lash out to him or his new girl? Tell him to take it slow for the sake of his KIDS NOT YOU!!! You research HEALTHY ways to deal with this, and by research I dont mean ask on a Facebook group. He is best off making the kids first meeting with her short and sweet. Like afternoon icecream after lunch alone with just kids and daddy!!! No longer than 2 hours for first meeting. Next: wait at least a minimum of a week later, and have a lunch all together. Then be DONE. two weeks later dinner is okay. Wait 2 weeks again and do lunch and ice cream. One week after that all day time activities and all day time fun can be shared together. No longer than 8 hours. Kids need to learn people slowly. Kids should never be taught it’s okay to trust strangers. And TRUSTING A STRANGER is exactly what your doing only 2 months into a relationship!!! And making your child spend time with a stranger is dangerous!!! Its important to teach kids right. Kids learn by example never by what we tell them. They do what we do. Ask him if he wants his baby girl to be a hoe? Well no of course he dont. So he should take this slow for his kids. No over nights!!! These kids are still adjusting. Their mom and dad just now broke up 3 months ago. Their hearts are broken!!! Their family is over!!! Everything they knew is gone. They need time to adjust to stability at dads place alone. They need to adjust to their new rooms, new bed, new stuff. Dad should focus his energy to giving them their own room, own bed and their own stuff, a set schedule and a stable life before throwing a women in the works.
I feel like you guys broke up and it sucks he’s serious with someone so fast, but he can date whoever. However, I would say he needs to wait a little longer before introducing them to the kids. ITs a huge adjustment going from having mom and dad in one home and then you aren’t together and now he wants to bring another person into the equation. Sounds complicated
Meet her first! Put all drama aside. Get to know her and if she seems genuine, let her meet the kids. If he’s happy and she’s a good person, that’s all that matters. No one should suffer because yall didn’t work out. It’s all about happiness of everyone and the kids 
Whenever you want really but maybe take a realistic amount of time that works for you to get over that relationship 
6months to a year… not good to be introducing kids to multiple woman/men. Who knows how long they will be seeing each other for. Don’t confuse the kiddos
I got pregnant 2 months into my current relationship and we’ve been together 10 years (i had 3 kids from my ex) You arent together anymore so move on and let him be happy. If he cheated oh well, its her turn now. Be happy and find yourself a man.
Unfortunately… u have no say lol they are his kids too.
1 week to meet someone , but wait a year or more before introducing the kids
It can certainly get serious in 2 months.
4 days for my ex to get in one 
Yes that’s a bit soon but unfortunately you don’t have any say in the matter. They are his kids too and as long as they aren’t in any danger they can meet whoever he wants them to meet.
Oof. In my custody agreement we agrerd to be seeing S/O at least 6 months. I waited 9 to introduce my now fiance.
They haven’t been together long enough to introduce her to the kids. He’s out of his mind trying to bring someone in already. He shouldn’t even be dating! I’d be devastated if I was in that situation! How can someone be with someone for six years and move on in three months?
When I was going through a divorce, the group counseling I was in said 1 year for every 4 you’ve been together. I didn’t listen and regretted it. But some of the time, the person who wanted the split already started the mourning period well before they expressed a desire to split up, so their time may be shorter.
I got serious with my man the day I met him we’ve been physically together every day since I met his kids a few days after we met sometimes you just know and even if he did why does it matter?? He’s moved on. The best thing to do in this situation is move on and be happy or you’ll end up looking like a bitter baby mom
To soon in my opinion. It’s not just about you anymore. Kids don’t need all of moms boyfriends in and out.
I met and married my husband in 3 months. He had 3 kids at the time. If he’s in love with her, there nothing you can do. We have been married as of August 29 yrs. They are wonderful kids. I love them very much. 
always did. I knew the kids from church before I met him.
Then he came to church and the rest is history. Pray. I did. Every day while we dated. God will help. Trust me. God bless.
Only way you would have a say in if he introduces her is if you have it in your custody agreement by court that either one of you can’t introduce another SO until X amount of time… if you do not, then nothing you can do
Personally I’d say If your serious now then you’ll be serious in a year with her. And then she can meet the kids, my now partner waited almost a year before I let him meet my kid, it was hard. But your kids are adjusting to you not being together it isn’t fair for them to have ppl in and out of their lives. And I’m assuming you’ll be sharing custody so if needed put that in a parental order, never be afraid to protect your kids. It may seem silly, it may make him mad but at the end of the day your job as parents is to provide stability and protect them, and figure out how to coparent together without the added stresses of new partners best of luck 
Met my current guy 4 months after a bad breakup and bad 12 year relationship. Wasn’t looking for anyone but it just happened. I’d say we are pretty serious about each other. 2 months in.
There is no actual time on when it’s normal. I was with my ex only 2 years, got with the man I’m with now 1 month later and have been together now for 8.5 years and have a 2 year old.
With kids tho I’d ask if he could wait a few more months before introducing them. But really at the end of the day it’s his choice when and not yours
The parents to set boundaries when it comes to introducing the new partner.
The other parent meets first and gets to know them
So 6 months in after the person has taken time to meet the other parent
If the relationship is really serious then the kids will be put first and wait that time frame.
. Everyone has there own time frame y’all broke up for a reason he wasn’t happy he moved on trying to be happy just because it was quick doesn’t mean he cheated just means he truly didn’t want to be with you.or he just needs to be with someone I would want my ex to wait atleast 6 months but in the end it’s not up to me and any court will tell you the same
There is no “reasonable time”. It’s whenever you feel ready. However meeting the kids is different.
I’d be like unless he’s marrying her next month she needs to wait 6 months before meeting the kids
Sounds like he’s already ready to move her in tho
You can be with someone for 20 years and separate and that person is totally different with someone else or loves someone else more than you. Time has no meaning when it comes to the heart. You weren’t the one but maybe she is. I wouldn’t accuse him of cheating because of the quick feelings. Maybe he did maybe he didn’t, but either way he’s not your problem now and is in love with someone else. Do what you feel is best for your children ALWAYS but don’t be insecure and jealous over the new relationship.
My Ex (we was together 2 yrs) went back to his baby momma 3 days after we broke up then remarried her 11 weeks later!
So I’m not sure. 
You need to meet her first
Definitely not. Kids shouldn’t meet their parents significant others until AT LEAST 6months … like minimum
Doesn’t really matter at this point, you are already broke up. Some people just move on quicker.
My ex husband and I both started dating quickly after we split. Around 2-3 months after, I know I didn’t cheat and I don’t believe he did. (we were together 4 years, still married, separated almost 2 years) My boyfriend and I have been together over a year and half at this point, expecting a little girl in November.
My ex just broke up with his fourth girlfriend.
It’s not your relationship so you don’t get to decide whether him & her are serious. Get over it & don’t be bitter whether he cheated for not. Learn to coparent & leave your personal stuff out of it.
Everyone has their own timeline. You two are broken up. If he says he’s serious with her then he’s serious with her. At least he’s being respectful and letting you know before he just brings her around the children. Your timeline is not everyone else’s.
Sandy Whitlock, especially after a breakup!
I met my husband less than 4 months after my exhusband and I separated.
Does it matter? Y’all are broke up either way. And I doubt he would ever admit it if it were that way. Unless you want him back and want to work things out you just have to grieve the relationship and put up boundaries when it comes to y’all co-parenting relationship and when it comes to others and y’all’s kids.
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You can be with someone for years and it’s just not meant to be, and be with someone for days and they’re your soulmate. There is not time limit on how serious/in love you are.
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They are his kids too, if he thinks it’s that serious, he has a right to introduce them. Maybe talk to him calmly with a “I think it’s too soon and I’d like you to be sure this going to last a while, if it’s truly serious can you wait until you hit the 4 month (6 month, 9 month) mark?” And see what he says. Maybe he wants to be able to have her around when the kids are there for his sake, or maybe he really has fallen for her quickly and wants to see how the kids like her/how she likes the kids before he goes too much further with her?
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Speculating cheating isn’t going to help anyone right now. Its hurting you and causing self doubt, and it’s creating bitterness. If he really did cheat and you’re both already separated now, what will hashing up the past do? Will it make you feel better or worse if he admitted that is what happened? For me, it would make it worse (I’ve experienced it), and in the end I’m probably better off without a person like that. Also, if he did, maybe she didn’t know, maybe he told her you were already apart. Idk, I’m speaking from experience and giving benefit of the doubt. If he’s gone, focus on some self-love and realize things you can gain, don’t focus on what you lost, he’s clearly focused on himself. Sending hugs though, it’s a rough road.
Life can be funny at times and mysterious in so many ways.
Just like the comment above says you can be w/ someone for years and it wasn’t mean to be and you meet someone for days and it’s meant to be.
My fiancé wanted to meet his daughter because he wanted to know if his daughter would like me and how our bound would be like and that’s one reason why he loves me. Now we’re a big family.
I know of some and a lot of stories where their husband cheats on them she has a fucking buddy and brings him to the picture and they end up having kids. Yes, it’s confusing to the kids they already have - but you just need to be real with them… just imagine them like tiny adults.
It’s not the same but My dad passed in November of 2018. My mom had a new boyfriend in December/January (not sure what month they made it official). Made me and my 6 siblings meet him in February 2019. Then moved him in end of March 2019 & up rooted my 6 younger siblings 4 hours away at the same time. 10/10 do NOT recommend. I think your ex should truly know someone before bringing y’all’s kids into it. To me 2 months isn’t enough.
I was with my current fiancé for literally like a month when I introduced him to my children’s father because our connection was fantastic. Don’t start assuming shit. It will just leave you bitter.
Idk hard to say. Was with my ex for 6 years but we didn’t have kids. Took me 4 years to meet someone serious. But it only took like 4 months for us to become serious lol. We got married after 9 months and then fast forward to now, 5 years later, I’m pregnant with his second kid . So it took a long time for me to find someone but no time at all for it to get serious. Take that how you want.
I started seeing someone just over a month after my ex of 7 years left, we were serious and he was around my daughter relatively soon after we started seeing each other. Sometimes connections are there regardless of the amount of time.
My now husband and I were living together within 2 months… 3 years later married with a child together… Have you met this person? Work out what you’re salty about, and then address it… Its not for you to say what’s serious and what isn’t… Meet with her… Talk to her… If its serious and they end up together long term, do you want to start it out on bad terms?
Many people cannot be alone and since they end one relationship they rush to have another, it is painful and more so when they have so little time to have ended the relationship or it is suspected that they were cheating on us from before.
I would say that’s awful judgey and you sound jaded. Please reverse the situation , let’s say you found “your person” connected right away etc would you want him telling you it’s too soon?. If you do not feel she is a danger to your kids (ask to meet her) then let it go. Because this will cause him to stop telling you things if you start controlling his life. Sounds like he is trying to communicate when he doesn’t have too. I am not trying to sound witchy but I have seen way too many divorced friends do this to eachother and it helps no one
My hubby and I were together about 2 months when he asked me to marry him. 8 years later still together and we are happily married.
At least 6 months…and after you have known said person for several months prior to being official.
Hate to say it but either way, whether he’s wrong or right or you are wrong or right, let him. You can’t stop him and I bet you’d rather know about it than have it hidden from you. Play it off and see how it goes. You may be hurt from the ending of your relationship but now all that matters is the kids you share and how they see you guys get along. If they see you trying they will remember that, kids learn who their parents are as they get older, be on the good side no matter how much you have to put up with just to be the bigger person. AND set an example at the same time I guess on how you feel like it should all happen.
Well just by the beginning of the post- “my boyfriend and I…” I already know this more your personal feelings about him being with someone else then about him wanting her to meet the kids. Specially with the “I feel like he cheated on me with her” Other wise it would have started as “I found out my ex is seeing someone new”
Just cause they have been together for 2 months doesn’t mean he doesn’t think it’s serious. Nor does it mean she was around when you were in the picture.
I met someone a month after getting out of a 17 year relationship and it got serious fast. Don’t assume just because he feels it’s serious means they’ve been together since before you split, it really might not be the case. Sometimes people click quickly. It doesn’t take anything away from what you two had.
The “reasonable amount of time” is whenever the fuck you want
Y’all are already separated so what relevance is it if he cheated with her?
You’re either being jealous, petty, or both
Men are men. We are serious pretty quick. We also get unserious pretty quick. 
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. When is a reasonable time to start a relationship after you break up with someone who you've been with for 6 years and had 2 kids with?
I personally would ask him to wait until at least 6 months to a year for the sake of the kids, what if they like her and then they break up and they’ll miss her and that’s not fair on them.
I got with my partner, and he’d only been split up out of a serious relationship long, so i wouldn’t think to much into how long they have been together as we did nothing before. However I didn’t meet his kid, nor did my partner meet mine for a good while, think it was 6 months, and after a year they stayed for the full weekend once a fortnight. So the intro to your kids is to soon! He needs to find out more about the women before he starting introducing your kids. As they are also adjusting to the change too! Me and my partner just use to meet each other with our kids separate at the park at first, and went from there, it was done slow, correctly with everyone’s feeling considered rather than hastily jumping in. 3 years later we have our own kids. All our kids get on so things can work out, but only if it’s done correct and it takes time he needs to stop rushing and think of things from the kids eyes and ramming his new girlfriend in there face is not the act of a dad thinking of his kids first, more his own feelings!
if the shoe was on the other foot and you felt serious after 2 months of the relationship, would you ask him if it was okay, he’s given you a heads up which is nice, don’t let “he might have cheated on me” cloud your opinion, if you trust he’s not just doing it to spite you then let it happen…
to start a new relationship? at any stage they want to start dating again, is reasonable. it’s their life and their choice to make. to introduce to kids? personally i would wait a while, but you can’t tell him it’s not reasonable, if he genuinely feels that it is serious and isn’t doing it to spite you, then be ok with it. weather you wait six months, a year or two months… there’s always a chance of it not working out, always a chance of the other person leaving the children’s lives. waiting doesn’t make breaking up any less possible.
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. When is a reasonable time to start a relationship after you break up with someone who you've been with for 6 years and had 2 kids with?
When my ex and I broke up after 10 yrs we had the 6 month rule and it meant we told the other when were getting serious and if 6 months down the road it was still good we could introduce the kids. All the other shit didn’t matter. If in 6 months it was good in the new relationship then we introduced the kids he didn’t follow but I did and to be honest best thing for me and the new partner and the kids. We spent time learning about each other and setting boundaries and it’s been perfect
The cheating doesn’t matter now because it’s over. Doesn’t matter what either of you did. Best thing you can do now, with the breakup so fresh. Is just both you & dad concentrate on being their mum & dad & good parents & do what is best. Ignore your relationship with & your past with him. This is now about your kids & their relationships with yourself & their dad. They have a right to those relationships, so you both need to do right by them. Put your feelings aside. Meet & talk like adults. Set plans for time with the kids ect. Work as a team for your kids. Good co parenting. Then maybe how about you all accept the situation, think about the kids & meet together as co parents, kids & new lady. No ulterior motives. Just parenting your kids the way they deserve it. Plain & simple. 
You two aren’t together and what he does with the kids on his time is his own business. Long as he’s good to them that’s all that matters.
It doesn’t make someone petty looking after the best interest of their children. I’ve been in both shoes as a stepmom and mom … Children should always come first no matter what the relationship is with the other parent. He can date that’s fine but when you start bringing kids along they attend to either get hurt because it’s to soon or they try to please the parent that is dating because he will say be good I really like her and I want her to like you so they will do whatever they have to to make this person like them … So you both need to set boundaries when it comes to dating… You honestly need to meet her first sit down with her over lunch talk to her get a feel for her because she just may be around for awhile . After that if everything feels right do a family outing where you are there so the kids feel comfortable and see everyone is getting along so they feel comfortable… kids pick up on things … And when you start dating give him the same respect.