How soon is to soon to introduce a new man into your children’s lives and let that man come over to your home when the children are there? One week ago, my daughter n law moved out of her and my son’s home, she took the children ( 5&10 yr old) and moved into her own place. She already has a new boyfriend who she’s letting come over while the children are there. I’m definitely not comfortable with this for several reasons. My issue isn’t with her having a boyfriend; it’s the issue of bringing him to my grandchildren’s home within a week. They haven’t even adjusted to their parent’s breakup yet or leaving what they’ve called home all their lives before. I think it’s just to soon and would feel the same if it were my son doing this. Am I unfair? I just want my grandkids to put before a man.
That’s way to soon to be moving a man in. I would say 6 months to a year.
There’s nothing you can do about it. They might be your grandkids, but they are her kids. Mind your own business.
I think the boyfriend was already in the picture,or he is the father of either of the children. It is just my opinion .dont take it to heart.
That’s a big no no and I’m with you on this one.
You don’t always get what YOU want.
They are not even divorced yet! I’m with you, too soon!
Sadly your not the father and there is nothing you can do 💁 yes it seems to be too soon but still at the end if the day its her decision
Me and my kids fathers just split. We moved out of his house. I wouldn’t be comfortable even thinking of being with someone new around my kids for at least a year. (was with their father for 10 years.)
Too soon, not right for her kids… I feel your question was valid
It’s important to have someone you want apart of your life to meet your children and vice versa. If they can’t mesh together time and feelings are saved. No different than her having a male friend visit. Also, you can’t say you want your grandkids being put first! Your implying because she has moved on that she is not putting “HER” kids first, which is a immature thing to imply. Her moving on has nothing to do with if she puts her kids first. You have no clue what went on in their marriage. It’s best you play your part as Grandma and stop implying she’s not putting her kids first. I’m sure your parenting journey was no walk in the park.
Mind your business and let your son handle business, he is not a child anymore and needs to learn how to stand on his own and work out the problems with his children’s mother without your interference.
Its not your place to say. If shes a good mother support her choices. Your the grandparent stay focused on the kids and the kids alone
When my current man and I got together 7yrs ago I hung out with him at night when my kids were sleep. I feel like until I know where we are going they would never see men in and out. I dont want the confusion and broken hearts so it’s best to wait until a full relationship has been established. By full established I mean are you 2 committed to each other are you both headed in the same direction. Then the last step is to introduce the kids. I think a lot of people move way top quickly, kids get attached and then they break up causing all kinds of heartache for the kids.
I agree it’s too soon but you are just grandma and don’t have much of a say in what she does in her own home… I’m sure she will do what she feel is best for her children and considering their ages they are fully aware and capable of voicing their feelings if they have an issue
Alisha Gold read through
Sadly you are the mom in law and there is nothing u can or should do. Remember she is the gatekeeper ur grandkids. Mind ur own business and grit ur teeth.
Oh absolutely u are thinking about the children my parents never.divorced but.it must.be a shock to them let them adjust first slowly introduce this new man to thier lives good luck
The grandmother may not have rights to say what the mother does, but I agree with her that it is too soon to bringing a new man into their lives. Kids need to be protected and don’t need to meet every man/woman their parents date.
I am guessing she knows him a lot longer than you think.
she should introduce the children to him slowly, maybe going out to eat together or a movie, or a picnic at the beach, but playing house with him in front of the kids is premature. Let the kids like him first, or not. If your kids get to really like him and want him around and then he turns out to be not very nice, it won’t e good.
Seems like ur grandkids mom isn’t worried bout anything but dick and I’m sorry she has had of had some thing going on longer than a week it sounds like ur son needs to file for sole custody
Um you have no say in what goes in her personal life.If the kids are not any danger you should probably stay in lane of MIND YOUR BUISNESS UNLESS YOUR EX DAUGHTER IN LAW WOULD LIKE to involve you🤔
Unfortunately your daughter in law is grown and those are her kids. Would I bring a man around my kids after only a week? Absolutely not. But we can’t make those decisions for our grown children. Especially for someone else’s grown children. Yes you’re grandma but that doesn’t give you the right to interfere unless you know for a fact those kids are being abused or neglected. You don’t have to like everything about how your grandkids are raised. But you do have to respect that they aren’t your children and it’s not up to you.
It’s not your call…
That is a bit to soon I’d say.
Definitely too soon. I met my stepson about 5 months I to the relationship. We wanted to make sure that we were sure as a couple first.
As a grandparent I know where your coming from trust me. I thank a week would be to soon, but are going to worry about our grandchildren no matter what.
Thats way to soon, selfish needs. If she feels the need to be with another man that quick then the father of the children should have those kids while she with the other man… Dont put the kids into it until the right time… Whats wrong with her?! That just gonna cause the kids have a emotional wreck!
Myself & my family/friends have a 6 month rule. For the first 6 months new people don’t come around the kids. For the next 6 months they can come around but they are introduced as a friend which means no pda & no sleep overs. So if a friend of mine is dating someone new they aren’t brought around my friends kids or my kids for the first 6 months kinda thing. It’s an agreement that we have between all of us & it works well. With that said unfortunately we have no say in what other people do in their own home no matter how much we may disagree with it.
Mind Your Fkn BUSINESS 
You may think it’s too soon but it’s not your place to say. If your son has a problem with it then he can address it. Don’t cause problems where there isn’t one, that’s the fastest way to not being able to see your grandkids.
Young Children should not be introduced to a boyfriend/girlfriend unless it becomes serious and are getting engaged. Young kids don’t understand dating and if the parent breaks up with the boyfriend/girlfriend it’s like going thru a divorce all over again. As for older kids like teenagers it’s different since they understand dating and that it may not be permanent. This isn’t my opinion but what a psychologist told me when I was going thru my divorce.
Just be there for the kiddos. Personally i feel like that is to soon and personally you think iys to soon. But it will cause issues if you state your opinion as the mother she can take them away from you if she want( not stating shes that type of person) of your son knows let him handle. But keep your opinion to yoursslf unless the guy is trouble… (E.g… Drugs, abuse, etc
You should mind your own business. You don’t know how long she has known said “man”… And your son can handle this properly (through court) if he sees it as a problem. Sounds to me you have the issue not him. Just bc someone is around the kids doesnt mean they are playing house in front of the children.
6 months min is what I’d wait
Not until you know this person plans to stay around and you’ve e worked on yourself and co-parent. I say minimum 2 years!
As you have read from the previous comments, there are many opinions. There is no 1 right answer, there are things that should be considered. Often, it takes a few months and multiple dates to see red flags or know with confidence that a relationship is built on positive energy including love. Parents should meet other adults in their new partners life before the children. All you can do as a caring grandparent is be supportive, be aware, and refrain from harsh criticism.
A year!! Any less it’s your thinking of yourself and not your child no matter what age, if have good family and friends they can babysit for you to have time to yourself to get to know that person
I understand how you feel. My sister did the same thing but I’ve promised her that if she puts those girls in a situation where they get molested, I will never forgive her. She had one situation that taught her a hard lesson and since then she doesn’t bring men around with her girls there. She had a man she would cook for and one night when her girls were home he came knocking on her door. She didn’t answer and he got where he was yelling and trying to beat her door down. I googled his name and he never gave her his full name. He had been in prison for attempted murder and assualt on a past girlfriend. Sad that it took that for her to quit bringing men around so soon
It sounds to me that the daughter-in-law probably has known the new boyfriend a lot longer than other’s know, perhaps because she probably may have been seeing him before she left and probably a reason or the reason she left … she might have been having an affair long before leaving
I think it’s to soon …unfortunately you can’t do anything about it that’s up to your son …you do however have every right to voice your concerns…how long as she known this person? He could be anybody the children could be at risk …good luck grandma
Tell your son to get an attorney. In the divorce decree he can add “no shacking up unless married” 
Problem solved
A year tops! She is acting like some floozy & showing her kids a horrible example. Crappy parenting skills she has. Perhaps she needs parenting classes & a brain to learn how to put her kids FIRST. That dude could very well be a child molester & she didn’t even care to take the time to know him well enough to know anything. Those kids do not belong with someone so unstable. I’d be calling child services on her so they can keep an eye on her & that stranger she subjected her innocent kids to. Smdh! 
And those that say mind your own business are just the type to subject kids to strangers as well. You have EVERY right to be concerned for your grandkid’s safety!!! FACTS 
Too soon but that’s a discussion for ur son and daughter in law … not u
It’s gonna be hard to say this but it’s not any of your business. Also you don’t know for how long she knows this man. In my opinion it is to fast but the kids will deal with that when they are older and can tell mama what they think. 
it’s never pritty but hey sometimes it really does work out. Just pray he’s a good man and not a predator.
I’m very sorry, I am. And though it’s too soon by, not just my standards but most people’s standards… It’s not your place. Sucks to hear, but that’s between her and your son. Just be there for your son. And be there for your grandkids so that if they need someone to talk to, they know they can talk to you.
I think its too soon. She should first have a few dates with this guy outside the home coz she still has to see hw this guy is and then IF she knws its ok and hes nt a player then she cn intro hm to the kids. Coz at the moment nw if it doesn’t work out then that guy is also gna leave and the kids will start to see diffrent guys cum in and out of their mom’s life and thats nt good. A yr afta my breakup with my ex husband i met a guy bt i didnt intro hm to my kids for a good couple of mnths. Yes my oldest son was a bit angry bt my new guy had to show my son that he reali loves me and remember my kids is 21,19 &12 so it took a bit long for my kids to exept bt at the end we married nw 1year and my kids loves hm and he loves my kids
Not unfair, way to soon!
Sounds like she may have been seeing this man before she left her husband!
I introduced my kids to my boyfriend right away, but I said he was my friend first. And didn’t use any romantic gestures in front of them.
This was because I needed to see how he’d treat my kids.
Honestly…everyone will have a different view on this.
I agree too soon. Just keep an eye on your grandchildren and keep the lines of communication open. Just in case
I feel like that is something that would be between your son and daughter in law not anyone else
You are absolutely right… but sadly, there is nothing you or anyone can do about it. As the mother she has the right… I strongly disagree with people dragging their kids through relationships but… it is fully legal as their mom… sorry
Thats way to soon i don’t think its unfair you feel this way. Especially these days with all the creeps out there.
I think it’s too soon also…but theres not much you can do. Just try to be there for the kids…and they’ll let you know if something isn’t right.
My S/O and I waited until we were together for a year before I met his son. And we’ve adamantly discussed if for some reason we ever split up our daughter will only meet the S/O we plan to spend the rest of our life with. I feel it should be that way. Kids don’t need to be involved in the ups and downs of a relationship or new relationship. They just need to see the stability and not come to care about a person only to have their parents split from them and not see them again.
A week is way to soon! I have never dealt with this, but I would say the new man shouldn’t be allowed in the home for awhile. I’d introduce them after a month give or take, outside of the home. Then invite him over for a game night after several outings away from their comfort zone, and then gradually allow him over more. But it seems she was seeing or talking to this person before the divorce. Either way it’s not right to bring a man around those babies yet.
I agree that’s too soon. But there is nothing you can do about it. Not your role.
Mind your own business. Offer to baby sit if she needs alone time.
This is your SONS business.
She already has a new boyfriend within a week? She was probably seeing this person for a while. Yes, a week is to early to be introducing your kids to someone new, that’s just my opinion.
Not to be rude or anything but you are the mil. If dad has issue with it, he should be the one voicing his concerns to mom. 
not a popular opinion but what she chooses to do is on her and her decision. Not yours, even tho you dont agree with it.
Atleast a year minimum. You don’t really know someone for a long time and you need to make sure that he’s in for the long haul before your children get attached. Jmo.
Way to soon my husband now didn’t meet my kids until about 7-8 months into relationship I wanted to make sure he was in it for the long haul and when they met him i was also pregnant with my husbands first child I was making sure he wasnt going to walk out or things get sour I wad 24 weeks pregnant when they met its been 4 years now and I see many many more years in the futer 
Not really your decision or business though. Your son, as their father, can voice his concerns to her. You saying anything will only make the situation worse and she will definitely start being petty. There’s never a great time to introduce a new person, its kinda on the parent to make that choice.
It’s too soon but also has nothing to do with you, you are not the parent
I introduced my now husband to my daughter within a couple weeks. She hid his keys under her bed and didn’t want him to leave! As long as moms aren’t bringing guys in and out and confusing the child. I made sure i knew my relationship was the real thing
It might be to soon but honestly it’s not ur place to say or do anything those are her children not urs and she as the mother has a right to bring whoever she wants around them u don’t know if they been friends for years and just started dating honestly just be concerned about what happens at ur home not hers
My advice? It’s way too soon. Entirely confusing and sad for the kids but most courts won’t bother with it.
The truth is it’s confusing but it’s also dangerous. All you have to do is search the internet for kids killed by “boyfriends” and there are just a staggering number. It’s really sad. Most are new partners who are left with kids alone. It’s heartbreaking.
But of course… what happens there is her business. You can have an opinion but the sad truth is you don’t have a vote.
I agree to soon it be months at min 6 month before I let someoen I’m dating meet my kid … 2nd I strongly doubt “she already has a bf after a week” she’s been seening him and prob for a while now … next unfortunately you can have a concern but this is really btw mom and dad
It’s too soon. I’m a 6 month minimum person and even then I need to know its working for us. My daughter already has enough issues with her dad she doesnt need random men in and out
Too soon, but unfortunately there is nothing you can do about it.
Don’t get into it. Unless the court documents state she cannot have a new man around for x length of time, nothing will be done. It’ll be a battle that will push her away and she’ll take the kids with.
I get where you’re coming from but there’s nothing you can do. It’s not your place to call how she raises her children.
How about you try minding your business since they’re not your kids
Her kids, her life, none of your business. 
shouldn’t even speak on it. I’m sure you did whatever you wanted with your children. Let her do what she wants. She’ll learn on her own.
There is nothing wrong with a new bf meeting the kids.
That’s up to the mom…The parent of the children to decide. Nothing you can do about it .And Frankly unless the kids are in danger it’s not your place to say anything. You don’t know she could have known this guy her whole life. You should just hope for the best.
Stay in your own lane… her kids her choice. Maybe offer to babysit as single mothers don’t really have an option on seeing someone when the kids aren’t around because they’re always around. Tell your son to take his kids a few days a week so momma can have a life too 
Too soon but you arent the parent. Your son needs to speak up if he feels its wrong. It is dangerous but its not your place unfortunately.
Personally I think it’s way to soon. Those kids were just uprooted from their home & their dad. As the younger one may adjust it’ll be harder on the 10yr old. Unfortunately this is up to your son even though I know you care about your grandkids. 
And if you want to keep seeing those children, I would definitely mind my own business. We’re going through a similar situation here and I just spend as much time with the kids that I can. It’s my nephew and his wife that broke up and I think it’s better for the kids to have me in their lives, than not, so I keep my mouth shut and love those kids to death.
I agree with you 100% that a week is too soon, especially since everything has happened in a week. Unfortunately there’s nothing you can do about it. With everything going on in today’s world I’m not sure I’d be able to comfortably date if my husband and I split till my kids were older. Just offer to babysit and make sure your grandkids know they can come to you whenever for anything.
My husband’s ex wife did this to him and his kids. In fact moved the new 20 year old boyfriend in 3 days after he moved out. Legally, nothing to be done. It’s been 2 years since that happened. I came into the picture after 3 months of dating my now husband in 2018. We have since gotten married and the kids and I all get along and I love my mother in law so much. She has felt and gone through everything you are feeling now. She said what got her through was venting and getting to be there for her grandbabies. The next best thing that happened was me. She saw her son and grandkids heal with the way dad and I approached the relationship. We’re still handling fall out from mom and mom’s boyfriend’s home. Which is fine. We get to be here, love the kids, and help them navigate their new blended families. We all worry about the kids all the time but that’s good. You’ll spot problems the quickest and if something comes up report it immediately. Wish you and those kiddos the best though. Also, who knows, maybe the new boyfriend could turn out to be a Blessing. Time will tell.
Mind your own business! I would leave him just for having a nosey mother like you!
This is none of your business. It’s up to the parents to discuss this.
Not your kids or relationship = not your business
This is not ok. And you should be concerned. This is why so many kids are ending up dead bc moms seem to think it’s ok to bring every man they meet around the kids. Plus those kids are in pain. And now to see another man in their daddy’s spot has to be confusing.
You might find this shocking but Dr. Phil, says one year until you know you are very serious and this person is 100% safe to leave your children with.
Nothing you can do. Sounds like she is immature. Watch the grandkids and make them feel secure. She needs to grow up. I feel for you.
If they just split a week ago then there is no way they are divorced yet. I would bet she had him on the side for awhile. If her husband, your son, has a problem with it then he needs to take it up right away with his divorce lawyer. He and his lawyer should already be taking custody agreement and other men around should be a part of that.
Just mind your own business
Too soon! Do a background check on this guy for your grandchildren safety…if you find something inform your daughter about the situation and handle it with care. If she refuses to listen, inform your son, he has parental rights and the children’s safety comes first. The relationship may not last anyway, sounds like the daughter n law is well experienced in that field so the guy probably just wants to get his way…
Your probably the reason for the split you nose bag
I just don’t think it’s anybodies business weather you think it’s too soon or not. 🤷 I mean what are you going to do, try to stop her? It’s her life and her kids.
Honestly this might not be a popular opinion but as long as the kids are safe, happy, and well taken care of it’s her business. She knows her children and most loving parents don’t put their kids into situations to hurt them. I don’t butt my nose into what other parents do with their kids and neither should you. I personally think it’s kinda soon but I don’t think she’s a bad parent for making choices for her life that make her happy. We don’t know how your son treated her or vice versa. Your main concern should be that she’s taking care of them and including your son. If they were upset about it that’s one thing and your SON should respectfully talk to her about his concerns. When you said they haven’t adjusted yet does that mean the children are upset now about the new situation? Or are you just upset with the new arrangement?
This was a confusing question . . . because it starts with when should “I” introduce “my” kids to “my” boyfriend . . . but it’s followed by discussion of someone else . . . 
So a guy shes been seeing a week is around her kids…not like there are predators or anything out there. She obviously doesn’t know the guy well. I’m with you, it’s way too soon. her kids deserve better.
I agree, its too soon.
He’s been around a lot longer than a week