My son was 10 when I told him that his dad was not his bio dad. He knew something was different before hand, but all he really said was why didn’t you tell me before. He does not know his ‘sperm donor’ and his sperm donor has never tried to be involved. You will definitely know when it is time to tell him.
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Has you husband thought of adopting him but I agree if he has raised him and bio dad hasn’t been there that’s his dad
It depends on the kid. If he’s sensitive and him knowing this info would set him back emotionally then don’t bother until he’s older.
Look on Amazon. There are books for that.
My son doesn’t know his real dad . He came around maybe 5 times. I met my husband and the connected and ever since he was 2 my husband has been dad. We actually legally changed his last name to ours and nothing is said. He had his dad and it’s my husband and his bio dad can care less about him I don’t want to hurt my son (he’s 10). My husband family has also took him in as there grandchild.
I had this nearly identical situation. Her school was actually the one who made it an issue and I had to explain it before I felt it was time because I didn’t think she could fully understand the situation. That being said I did my very best to explain. I even had pics of her bio dad. I made sure to use “daddy” for my husband and “biological father” for her bio dad. I kept it as clear as possible and let her know she could ask any questions. She did ask questions. I didn’t want my shared child part of the convo but she did come in so that made it complicated cuz she was younger and definitely didn’t understand the situation. That all being said, as of 12/3/2020 she has been officially adopted by my husband and he is and will always be her Daddy. Feel free to message me if you’d like
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Tell him the truth hes an extra dad and his dad he shares with his sibling you dont need to go in to lots of detail age appropriate
To be honest it can go either way. I went through a lot of emotional pain because of knowing who my father was and that he never made an effort to even get to know me or be there. My step dad was never my “step dad” to me, he will forever be my Dad and I cherish the time we had together. Maybe before you tell him, get in touch with a therapist first and ask their opinion and maybe have them there when you tell him or at least in a facetime or zoom meeting.
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I dont think u should tell him i think ur husband should take him on a walk n tell him i went threw this with myself and i told my adopted son i explained im not his mom it was my husband at the time son
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Hes 7… wait to talk about it when their emotional maturity is there more.
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My son was 8 when he asked me if he was adopted because his last name was different from mine and my husband’s last name… my heart broke and I was terrified …I thought the question wouldn’t come till he was in his teens. Needless to say I told him everything. ( his bio hasn’t contacted him since he was 6 months old) my son was relieved that he wasn’t adopted and took it way better than I thought he would… I thought he would be upset ,angry ,bitter. He was and still is but not towards me or his stepfather (whom he calls dad) …his negative feelings are towards his bio. My son is 23 now and made the decision of not ever chasing his bio down. When he was 16 he decided to knock on his bios door and they talked … his bio promised to stay in touch and wanted to have a relationship but never stuck to his word.
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I literally went thru this same thing except I met my husband well now X when I was pregnant with my son. It was around 7 or 8 when I told him. He never really cared his sperm donor seen him a handful of times and he is 11 now and wants nothing to do with him at all.
As a person who did not know her bio dad until I was 16 i truly wish I was given the chance much sooner my bio dad is a great dad to his other children but it was very hard for us to connect we don’t talk much now and I really wish I would have gotten the chance to know everything growing up
Ask your husband if he’s ok with you telling him?
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Tell him ONLY when he asks. Don’t tell him beforehand.
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I told my daughter the reason her name was different was because we was married when she was born so she has my last name but I’d give a few more years for maturity cause this is something big and you don’t want distance between them if they want to meet dad maybe try
I want though this as a child I didn’t find out about my dad till I was 14. I actually found out from a friend (my aunt told her and my cousin) she thought I should know. I never even said anything to my mom but then my parents separate ( for a month) and she thought they were gonna get divorced so she told me I just said I already heard. It was awkward I think I felt betrayed. I also had a really bad relationship with my “dad” he wasnt good to me I took a lot of verbal abuse from him I had zero self esteem and I think my relationship with my mom was strained from that already after finding out it just made it worse. Every situation is different tho. Just giving my story about it
I told my son at that age but he knows my husband as his father. Idk how he feels about his biological father but he has an unbreakable bond with my husband and they are best friends❤️
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My son is now 9. When he was 5, he asked what our last names are. He asked why are they different and I told him his bio Dad lives in Tassie (we’re in nsw).
Bio Dad has made false promises and now doesn’t call. My son has been angry about Dad not coming over (Dad’s turn to come over because took my son over a few times when he was 2 and 3 years old) and not returning calls.
I personally, told my son the truth because when he reaches teens/early 20’s and finds out over social media or someone telling my son about his real Dad, my son will be angry at me or not want to know me. And they do find out especially with ancestry dna tests etc.
My sister found our secret cousin through ancestry and wants answers. Big shit fight now because her Dad isn’t her real Dad.
Let him know but don’t make big deal of it keep it simple and age appropriate his ‘real’ dad is your husband, explain that he came from different sperm, go into more detail when he’s older that way it’s not a shock to the system, longer you leave it harder it is for you xx
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My opinion: you were supposed to tell him long time ago once he started talking and with time he would know it’s not his bio-dad but it’s his only dad at present, children can handle things that we as adults think that they can’t handle…and before everything ask hubby if he is ready for you to break the news to the boy
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I think you and your husband should tell him together. This is a good age I think, especially if he is extremely smart. Maybe your husband can adopt him and change his last name to his. 
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I feel like honesty is key. He may not understand completely but you’ll be building trust with him. At the end of the day he might simply be ok…he has a dad. Im sure you’re freaking out about it more than he will. It doesn’t change the love you or your husband has for him.
I didn’t find out about my biological father until I was 18 and I found out from a picture. Everyone just assumed I knew for some odd reason but I resent my family till this day for it. I look at life and people a lot differently now…Tell him. Always be open and honest no matter how uncomfortable it may be.
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Why tell him at all? If he has been there his whole life then he is his dad. It’s takes me than sperm to be a father
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My daughter will be 6 soon. We haven’t talked about it either. Her bio shows up maybe once a year.
Maybe I’ll be ready, maybe I won’t. Same for her. But either way I believe I’m going to let her ask me.
If that’s all he knows, and the man loves him and he loves his DAD that’s all that matters. But if he end there so long, why not change your son last name? I know there’s rules, but also ways to make it happen with those rules…
Yes, our family had a situation and, his cousin’s overheard adults talking and gave him totally wrong information he was about 12 and was very upset that his parents had not told him.
This is a tough one. I was told at 7 years old that my stepdad wasn’t my biological father and it crushed me.
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Just don’t go chasing the donor it’s been 6 years, leave it and live in peace… He’s not interested you will ruin a lot of things if you stir that pot up…
But tell him when you both are ready. If you believe he is ready to take this on. Both of you should have a chat to him.
I would wait until your child asks you about it.
I waited until my son was 12…he was old enough to understand everything and was able to wrap his mind around it all. It was a very hard conversation to have, he asked a lot of questions and I answered them truthfully without sugar coating anything. My husband is still the only dad he had ever known and my son has no desire at all to pursue a relationship with his bio dad. I dont think there is a perfect age to talk to your child about this but I am glad I waited until I felt he was mature enough to handle to conversation. Good luck!
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Honestly, i think that if you tell him, dont say your husband isnt his dad, just tell him his biological dad wasn’t ready but your husband loved him so much he CHOSE to be his father.
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Would step dad consider adopting your son? Sounds like bio dad is not interested.
If you tell your son the truth now, he’s going to have a whole pile of feelings that he might not be ready for… Or mature enough to process.
Yet if you keep prolonging it he’s going to feel betrayed and lied to.
I would try to fill the gap… Offer a sense of security… A sense of identity and belonging… If stepdad is all in… Then I would present your son with the option of adoption… And I feel like this should be a family affair… Where Both you and stepdad are there to support him…
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The next time he mentions the different last names. No matter where you are. Sit down and explain as nice as you can.
My daughter is 5 her dad has never been in picture much but I’ve never told her my husband is her dad she knows she has another dad. She calls my husband pop pop now that other kids in school say daddy she asked if she could call him daddy and I was fine with that. But will always be honest with her.
You should just tell him now.
I would absolutely tell him. You do not want him hearing it from someone else. Some children will become upset and lose trust if you are not open with them.
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I know its hard but I was the child in this situation before. Tell him now. The sooner the better.
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My parents aka my mom and what I didn’t know was my step dad wanted to change mine and my brothers last name so it would be the same as my “dad” who had raised us since 6 weeks and a year. They told my brother and I when we were 7 and 8 and showed us a picture of my biological dad and I remember being like so this guy was supposed to be my dad but you are so it doesn’t matter? And my parents were like yeah. And then they asked how I felt about us all having the same last name and changed it. My parents always answered any questions I had about my donor growing up and my half siblings from him even found me on Facebook and turns out he has somewhat of a relationship with them so I’ve seen him age and some pictures on my own since. But it’s never mattered to me. My Dad is still my dad and the only one I’ve ever known and I’m closer to him than I am to my own mother. I can’t really say how I would’ve felt if I never knew. But I think the age they told us we had a good enough understanding that he chose us and loved us and that was that.
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The emphasis should not be on the event but on a process. Dont make it a big deal share stories with him of stepdad, mix families, adopted families and that father/mother, parents are not a title given through DNA but through love. This is how we teach parents to disclose big conditions in the medical field to kids.
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My grandson has always known since he could start noticing. He calls them both by ,my dad mike and my dad Charles. Paternal dad, mike, has never had anything to do with him and stepdad has raised him pretty much from birth. Grandson loves Charles so much and he does not want to go anywhere with his real dad and I blame the real dad for that. Tell the child and if he wants to see his birth dad let him but he will remember who raised him and will love him for being there.
Maybe he might adopt your son and you can get your son’s blessing?
my (now ex) husband and I was separated and getting a divorce and I was dating a guy and got pregnant. Well he didn’t want me to have the baby but I did. 4 months into the pregnancy my then husband wanted to try to work things out. I didnt care either way. He said he’d raise her as his own. So we tried wrkn things out and which it did for several yrs till we really divorced. But her sperm donor hasn’t been in her life at all and she’ll be 10 in April. She does have my ex’s last name since we was still married when she was born. But I haven’t said anything to her yet, I will in due time just not this young (my opinion).
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I waited until my son was 11yrs old bc then he fully understood. Just make sure you are prepared for the many questions to follow along with a lot of hurt and tears. Him feeling betrayed and lied to for so long. Yes it is very hard to sit down and tell your little one the truth BUT it’s better then continuing to lie to him… It may also change how he feels about your husband an may make them fight and argue or it could bring them closer together bc he has always been there for your son.
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I wish I had advice but I am going through the exact same thing like almost the the T. My husband has been in my son’s life since he was 7 months old but my son’s bio father is not a healthy person(active drug addict) so I plan on going as long as I can without talking about it. I do plan on going to court to try and have bio father’s rights terminated so my husband can adopt him and we can change his last name without issue. But I asked my friend because she was the child of a similar situation and her parents didn’t tell her until she was 16 and she said it didn’t upset her like I would have thought. I do think 7 is too young for my son especially because we just had a baby over the summer and I don’t want our son to feel any type of way like he is less apart of our family or anything of the sort but if he asks(he does see that side of family so I know eventually it will be brought up) then we will talk to him about it. I wish you the best of luck, I know how hard and confusing this is, I think about it more and more as my son gets older❤️
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Hell yes you should give the dad a chance and tell your son! My daughters dad was around for a year of my daughters life when she was 2 years old, he come back after a while and you bet I let him in, and luckily I did because he ended up being the best dad to my daughter before he was murdered just a few months ago!
People CAN change, and your child has every right to be apart of his dads life and vice versa 
if you don’t take the chance then you might regret it if something was to happen!!
I would tell him and ask if he would like his dad to adopt him xx
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What about your husband adopting him and sharing the news later on in life my husband adopting 3 of my children they all knew but one and we just shared with him about 2 yrs go he is 14
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Tell you child now. I made the mistake of waiting and it hurt our relationship. Even though I told him that it wasn’t good due to hitting me gun to my head and etc… I had to get him out from that and away from it… his first question. Was why didn’t you tell me earlier… now… I wish I would have…
He’s 7, honesty is best
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I waited until my son was a teenager. So he could understand and comprehend what exactly it meant. My son loves my husband and has had him in his life since he was very small. My husband chose to be his father and has even adopted him. He really didn’t ask about the name change. You your husband and your ex should discuss the options before you bring your child into the mix
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Give him a choice. They are never to young to know the truth. And you dont want to wait so long he thinks your a liar. I had this situation, my bf was with me since i was pregnant with him. Then we had our own. We actually broke up when they were like 4 and 5. But He continued seeing my son with his after we broke up and being Dad to both, because he had been dad to BOTH. we told my son when he was about 9 or 10 i think (now about to be 13) because he had been questioning last names and appearances and such things, and he said well he is still my dad anyways he takes care of me and loves me. Which warmed my heart. And we said yes he is and always will be but we wanted u to know that by blood he is not.
So i say tell him. Say this man has loved you your whole life and been a daddy to you by choice, which means alot. And make sure to say not mean things about his real dad. I would say like he just wasnt ready to be dad or didnt learn how yet or something, and that if he wants to meet or see him that is up to him
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In my opinion should have been a long time ago
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I would say it’s time to actually tell him…but honestly I was in the same shoes as your son and my dad (not my bio father) is my best friend and it doesn’t matter if we’re biologically related. I would say the hard part is making sure he knows it wasn’t his fault…and also be prepared for possible huge emotions and attitude.
Blood is nothing.This man stepped up to be his Dad and that means more the blood.
I told my daughter when she was five. My husband adopted her when she was 7.
Dont fix it if it aint broke! Id say leave it alone. Hes 7. Let him enjoy his childhood. No need to add confusion if the bio dad isnt in the picture. Hes raised your son for 7 years, thats his dad period.
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I was 7 when I asked my mom for the first time. I had never known my step dad wasn’t my dad until we were at the dentist and they asked why we had different last names, and he told them he was my step dad. I asked my mom about it and she told me that I had another daddy but he just wasn’t ready to be a dad yet, and I didn’t care to know anything else again, never asked another question until I was 11 and he decided he wanted to meet me and my mom gave me that choice. My dad and I have a great relationship now, almost 12 years later.
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These conversations should have started long ago in child friendly words. My sister who is adopted was always told about her other mum who couldn’t look after her and gave her to us to love. Not quite the same, but, I feel it’s important. I’ve seen parents wait to tell their kids, and it never goes well.
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I would have adoption lined up for your husband to do before I’d tell him .
I had a neighbor in this situation. The boy found out from the bio father himself on a chance meeting. It messed him up! Ok he wasn’t an excellent kid before. I think he had mental problems as it was. But after learning his life was a lie he started doing drugs, drinking alcohol, hanging out with really bad people. He wasn’t much older than your son is now. Last I heard he was in jail for shooting a toddler in the face. I think you should tell your son asap. It’s not that your husband isn’t his dad. He is! He just doesn’t share his DNA. Try to explain that the best you can at a 7yo level.
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Leave it until he asks
I would say, if he asks don’t lie.
Or give home the option to be adopted by the only Dad he knows…if that is a choice. Do it now before he hits puberty at 10, 11, 12 yrs of age. And then make sure he know heis just as important as your other child with the Dad. Lots of work ahead of ya!
Hard when they are so young … I think you will know when the time is right
I have been with my husband since my child was 6 months old. He has raised him as his own he is now 18 and seen his sperm donor once in his entire life! He’s always known he has a bio donor out there and my husband is his step dad. My son says his Step dad is his Dad end off. 
We vowed never to lie to him about it as I didn’t ever want him to think his life was a lie! Do it when it feels right to you.
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You need to tell him now. If you dont tell him the truth and he finds out later by someone else or by you when he is older you are going to regret. He is going to be mad and tell you what a lair you are.
He’s his Dad…the person who brought him up. Bio-guy is his father. Explain that Dad isn’t his father and ask if he’d like to meet his father.
Has he asked why the last names are different? That’s the hardest part of it but if he has noticed the difference it might be a good time to let him know before he finds out from someone else and blames you - he won’t hold it against you forever but it will take him some time to trust you fully as he does now if it comes from someone else. I personally speak from experience on that situation - wasn’t my child but a child in my family - he was also 7 and began to notice that he looked nothing like his mom or the man he “thought” was his dad - his mom never had any intentions on telling him the truth and my hubby and I had always been very truthful with him about all things and he point blank asked me who his real dad was because he knew in his heart that “dad” wasn’t his real one - his words - and I told him and then both myself and my husband sat down with him and we discussed it thoroughly - we encountered a lot of bumps down the road over my choice but in the long run it worked for the best for everyone and we still have him and he is still the awesome child he has always been and he as well is very smart and mature for his young age. If you have any pictures of his bio-dad it will help out a lot as well. Do what you feel in your heart is the right thing to do it will work out if you do it sooner than later. And also explain the situation as gently as you can about whatever your circumstances were about his bio not being in his life but don’t put his dad down - if he was not in a good place say it that way if possible because he is a part of your son as well so you don’t want to implant an imagine that he will think he will be the same way - hope that makes sense there. Best of luck and things will work out as they should. Prayers for all.
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I have been with my fiancée since my LO was 8 months old. He is now 7. We also now have a 5 month old together.
My son asked me when he was 6 if daddy was there when he was born. I explained to him that -no daddy wasn’t there as mummy didn’t know daddy then. He then proceeded to ask how he was born then. I told him that mummy really wanted him to love and to be his mummy, and so one Man made him, and Daddy raised him.
He knows who his bio father is, but barely sees him as he doesn’t live in the same state. He’s very proud of his story and will tell people if they ask “that one man made me and my daddy raises and loves me”.
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My son is 8 and I asked him 2 years ago if he knew that “daddy” isn’t his “blood dad” and hes like “I know mom, but he’s here and does daddy things so I call him daddy!”
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Now . Keep it short and sweet . Simple . Don’t elaborate . Make sure you tell him he was loved and wanted ( I’d leave out by whom ) and that He is a gift from above . The earlier you tell him the better . Also , make sure he knows his step dad is his real dad . Anyone can be a sperm donor ; it takes a real man to be a dad .
It all depends on your son if he can understand and handle what you are going to tell him
Would be perfect to never have to tell them but theres no guarantee there not gonna find out , so I’d say the sooner the better , it will stop it playing on your mind aswell cos that cant be good for yourself either x
The right time is when he asks. He already noticed the difference in last name.
I would let him know that your husband, the man that loves him, that raised him, that has been there for him is & always will be is (fill in the blank). However his father, the man that helped make him is (fill in the blank). Give him a picture of his dad. Let him know you have never keep him from his father. He hasn’t been in contact since he was 1yr. Answer any & all his questions honestly. Let his know if he ever wants to talk you & his dad is there.
I went threw something like this. My kids dad was just no good! I wanted better for them. There real dad gave up rights to them. He adopted them when they were 2 and 3 yrs old. When my oldest was in 2nd grade. There real dad’s sisters son told her. He wasn’t much older. His mom had him tell her. He told her at school. He said your dad isn’t your real dad! She came home crying so hard. We told her. She just cried… It hurt her! There real dad didn’t want anything to do with them. But yet there mouth was so mean and hurtful. She wasn’t old enough. Change his name! If his dad don’t want to see him. Doesn’t pay child support. Don’t hurt him!!!
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Change his last name and don’t tell him! At 7, he doesn’t need to know the technicalities. At 7, he needs to know he has a mom and dad that love him.
This is just MY personal opinion, but if the kid is happy, leave it. I have a 7 year old and a 12 year old who are not biologically my husbands. My 12 year old figured out on his own that his dad was a POS (hasn’t seen or contacted him since he was about 3-4). He knows his step-dad is his dad. My 7 year old though, it confuses her. She knows her biological father and she knows he’s not around. But she doesn’t understand the concept when we explain to her that blood doesn’t make you family and that the man that makes you isn’t always the man that raises you.
Tell him!! He should know and probably already does seeing his last name is different from everyone else’s in his family. At 7 kids know more and pick up on more than you think.
People are saying to change his name as if he’s not going to question that. That only brings more attention to it.
7 years old is not the right age to tell any child that the man that’s been fathering him is not as biological father if his biological father doesn’t wanna be in his life I’m believe he shouldn’t know-it-all because in my mind that is his biological father in whoever the man is should have that child’s last name changed in it’s never be a question again
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Do what you feel is best. Mothers intuition, trust it.
My parents had my names changed, but I was around 6 when they changed it so I remember. I will say that when my mom told me my dad wasn’t my dad, I was really confused, but it never changed the way I felt about my dad. I was 12 when my mom told me. Her and my dad were supposed to tell me together. They were divorced and she was remarried and he had a new girlfriend and my mother did it out of spite. I will say I dont think it will change the way your son feels about his dad. I was more upset with my mother than anything. But I am sure my situation is not completely the same as yours and you wouldn’t do that to your son out of spite. But I do feel 7 is too young. It is a very confusing thing for a child.
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NOW! I told our son when he was 5. They understand it better when they are younger and will be able to adjust better. And if they ask just tell them the truth.
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Honestly I wouldn’t tell him wait for ur son to come to you and asks
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Tell him he special because your husband got to pick him. He loved him so much he chose to marry you and help raise him. That’s what I told my bonus daughter, because it’s true. Bonus babies are wonderful and should be celebrated for all the wonderful qualities we picked them for, I made my bonus baby a list of reasons I picked her and she keeps it on her wall.
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Sooner than later. I was in same situation until my son was about 10 and his bio dad wanted to make things right. I 100% regret lying and confusing my son.
My mom told me when I was about 10. She sat me down with a couple pictures she had and said this is your dad and I can tell you all you want to know and we can find and talk to him if you want. I just said ok and went about my day. I also had someone at the time I still to this day call my dad. It may not bother him. My current dad adopted me at 12. You can tell him show him pictures and let him ask all the questions he wants.
I don’t know how old I was when i was told that my father wasn’t actually my father, but I know I was younger than 8. I think it’s better to tell them young. You risk a big fall out and so much resentment if you wait much longer.
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I agree the sooner the better. The longer you wait he could end up resenting you. Explain it to him as gently and age appropriately as possible! It will be hard for all of you at first and he may need time to soak it in but it’s better than waiting until he finds out from someone else or if the bio dad decides to come around.
I think it depends on your son i went thru the same with mine at 10 yrs a cousin told him that my husband was not his dad and my son told me if itbwas true so me n my husband talk to him and told him the truth he is 15 now i told him plenty of time qhen ever he is ready i take him to see his dads family cuz his teal dad pass away when he was 3 but my son tells me no his only family is my husband family he told me if they wanted to see him they had 15 yrs to i try to tell him but no matter what he tells me no his dad is my husband n his family is my husband family
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I’m sure you can find a book to help introduce the subject. Something about loving blended families equally and transition into how he lives in a blended family and how much you all love each other.
When he asks if ever… He has a dad! Let dad be dad and don’t damage that bond. If the last name is and issue change it. Where there is a will there is a way.
I’m in the same boat, I drop hints in a way, like “me and you live here or did this before we met daddy” . My son is 6 I’m afraid he’s too young for the whole how babies are made talk. Best of luck
I would wait till he was at least 10. Tell him the very basics and then a mg swear more questions as they come. Ask the bio dad if he would be open to letting your husband adopt him.
Tell him while he is young. My husband doesnt know his bio dad, an wasnt told that who he had actually thought was his dad, wasnt till after he had passed away. My husband was 16 at that time an still to this day, has done some damge to him. An yes iv seen it all i met my husband when we were 13. He trys not to let it get in the way of his relationship with his mom, but it really has. An now that we have a son of your own, he wants nothing more then to find his real dad an get to know him, but his wont answer any question or tell him anything, not even his name.
I would definitely tell him sooner than later. This actually happened to me some months back and I’m 24!! I was told by someone else that I had a different father. It wasn’t the fact I had a different father it was all the lies that went with it… they let me believe for years that someone else is my biological father. Turns out I have other siblings etc and another family. My advise would be to tell sooner rather than later as but it is entirely up to you, you know best. Good luck xxxx
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If he finds out he’s going to be more upset and angry that you didn’t tell him. Just tell him the truth and ask and answer any questions he might have.
It depends on you. My step daughter was 16 and still didn’t know that the father of her siblings was not her bio dad. She has her mother’s maiden name as her last name, in college classes, her siblings had his last name. He finally sat her down and told her himself. She has questions about her bio dad but at the end of he told her that she is his and no matter what always will be. So honestly it’s completely up to you.
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Definitely tell him. The sooner, the better. Please consult a child psychologist or therapist about how and when to tell your child. I told my daughter when she was nine, and it crushed her. She has struggled with her mental health since, including confidence, self esteem, sense of identity, feeling unwanted or unloved, acting out, etc. I wish I would have handled the situation differently. Now she’s sixteen, and still struggles with her mental health.
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I was raised by my Mom & Dad, my bio-father was not a part of my life. It’s something that my brothers and I just always knew. It was never a secret in our family or some big conversation to be had, it was just a fact that we all grew up knowing and that we could discuss openly. If you didn’t know I had a different bio-father you wouldn’t have known. I’m thankful that I always knew the truth so it didn’t have to be “a thing”.
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