How soon is too soon for someone you are dating to meet your kids? I have been seeing this guy for a few months now, and he would like to meet the kids as we feel we are very compatible together, and things have been going amazing; my kids are 10 and 13 and know I am dating I just didn’t know when is the appropriate time to introduce them.
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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. When should kids meet the person you are dating?
In my opinion, when the partner is ready. Or when you think they are ready.
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In my opinion I say 6 months at the earliest. Only reason why is honeymoon stage is always the in beginning. Get to know the person first before introducing your kids. There’s no rush, take your time.
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I would wait for at least 6 months- a year I mean if you two don’t work out you don’t want him to come in and out do your kids’ lives.
I’m waiting until we’re both ready
I would ask the kids if they want to meet him…that way there uk it’s mutual
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Sit down with your children and discuss what they are comfortable with. You two have decided that you guys are in a comfy spot to introduce, so maybe its time to get your kids opinions on how they feel about it all
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After a year and your sure your going to keep them
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Unless you have reservations, a few months is good. Kids have discernment too. I’m not saying a meet and greet should turn into daily interaction, but a slow incremental integration is cool.
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Have a sit down with your kids, let them know you’re dating and as how they feel about meeting him… Then take it from there
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My mother always told me you see a persons true colors after 6 months so never introduce them until you know it’s serious & over 6 months.
If you know you know 
I was with mine for 2 months we started just doing things like movie dates swimming dates supper here n there so he gradually became a person in our life however my daughter was also very young 15 months but still now my daughter is 22 and has 2 sisters and loves her “dad” very much he is her dad in my eyes he raised her her bio is a in n out dad but that’s a storey in itself lol
Anyeay so I think it just depends on you and your comfort and your readiness
When you and the k ids are ready. My now husband met my kids as a friend with a group at a BBQ a couple weeks after we started dating. We were engaged by a year and married by 18 months. It is such a case by case thing and no one can tell you what.the right time is. The right time is when all parties are ready
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You don’t necessarily have to introduce them as a guy you’re dating you can introduce them as a friend and let your kids get to know the person as your friend.
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When they are 18. Single parents should stay single and focus 100% on their children. Have fun on the side, but don’t involve your kids in what will probably be another failed, negative relationship. They’ve already been through enough and shouldn’t have to compete for your love.
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When youre sure it may be a permanent thing. Its a convo you need to have with who youre dating.
I don’t think there is a specific timeline. I think you should only introduce the kids when you KNOW without doubt that you both WANT and will work for a future together.
It really just all depends. And no situation is the same. I once waited like 4 months and ended up breaking up with the guy shortly after introducing, but I just told my kids we were dating. I tell my kids you can date whoever you want and how ever many ppl you want. Then I knew a guy for a few months but we never linked up, even tho we worked at the same company a few years back but never directly together, we went on a date on a Saturday and just kids met him on Monday cuz he ended up being the one who helped me move, so I just introduced him as a friend, and we been together 2 years now and he’s a great step dad to my kids and we have a baby sue any day now. So you can’t really put real life situations in a box.
I waited almost a yeAr to introduce mine to him and his to me. Just to make sure it was gonna work and neither of us were gonna walk away and hurt the kids feelings
If you guys are ready then now is the best time…you don’t wanna invest all this time into someone and they don’t get along with your kids or vice versa and then your in a dilemma, I don’t suggest lying to them about who they are be transparent, let them meet in a public setting, out to eat or somewhere, and go from there
It really depends on the situation a few months after my sons dad and I went our separate way I dated a guy my stepdad had worked with for a year my son already knew him because he and his daughter was always at my house fast forward to my boyfriend now we dated in high school was best friends went our separate way for 5 years then out of the blue he texted needing a friend so I told him to come over well he never left 
and we are expecting a baby InJanuary…my son knew he was just a friend but now knows otherwise… so it really just depends on the circumstances. I did talk to a guy for a awhile and He never met my son
My daughter met my boyfriend almost a year after we started dating. I wanted to make sure our relationship was good before they were introduced. That was 16 years ago. She was 5 at the time & it was also a long distance relationship until 8 years ago.
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My bf didn’t met my kids till we were 6 months in …I personally was nervous for him and them ,but their bond is unseperable, they love each other, kinda wish I did it before
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I’ll probably seem like an ass, but I always did it right away(well, after a few dates) I introduced them as a friend and in a kid friendly setting with my friends and their kids present as well. I tell them that they are not to act any which way to indicate they are seeing me. This way you get to see how the other person is around children, especially around your children. I had a date act stand offish and stayed on the side line, another pouted, one rolled thier eyes at my kid when my child hurt themselves and i went to comfort them, and one guys act childish because I didnt pay attention to him. Those guys i kicked to the curb asap. I didnt catch feeling, and to the kids, they were just someone thier mom knew.
Its like weeding out the bad ones. Lol. And The guy i am currently engaged to, i have been with for 8 years, and is perfect. Treats my kids as his own, and i treat his like mine.
When you both are ready for it.
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Honestly, every relationship is different. Judge all you want but my kids met my bf from the jump. But also we were friends first. My youngest at the time was only about 8months old. We are now married 8 years later and he’s raised all of my children as his own.
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That’s up to your kids 
cuz if they don’t want no man In your life trust your relationship will end quick no matter how perfect the relationship is. So talk to them see what they have to say and go from there
Personally I’d ask my kids how they feel about meeting the person you’re dating and if they are ready then do an introduction in a public place to make them more comfortable and if they’re not ready just yet wait a little longer until they are.
They are old enough to help make that decision. Ask them
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I wouldnt leave it too long. At that age they see and hear everything. You’ll be on about someone theyve never met. Could quite easily hurt their feelings. I’d be pissed if my parent was living another life when I wasnt there and keeping me completely separated.
I feel a few mths is too soon
Ask your kids 1st bc they come 1st before anyone. If they say no to meeting him then respect that.
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I would ask the kids their opinion first since they are old enough!
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For me it would be when things get serious.thinking of moving in or I got pregnant or engaged
With them being older, I think if you’re comfortable with it and they’re comfortable with it, introduce them. I’d go out and do something. A neutral environment not your home.
I have a 3 month rule 
This is a hard subject to touch down on… but i think introducing him as a friend see how they react to the friend. See if they get along. And then go from there. They arent babies either so you know ur kids best. Maybe talking to them first is better. Every kid is different as is every situation. I personally had a friend i started dating, the kids already knew him. So it wasnt a hard transition. Maybe that might make it easier. 
They should have met by now. It’s my opinion that that should be established right away. Your kids meet people everyday, the only difference here is the context, that it’s someone you’re romantically interested in. I think they should meet in the beginning, just as a person you know, and see how well they get along without any expectations or pressure on the kids. I would want to know right away if they are going to get along with my kids, bc they are most important, and I wouldn’t want to catch feelings and find out they have bad chemistry with my kids. If they are well recieved then we can proceed with building a relationship. You don’t have to leave them alone with him, meet at a park or something and just see how they interact. Once they have a positive opinion of him, then introduce the dynamic of being together. Don’t wait until you get attached to find out they don’t get along if that’s the case too, that will hurt.
It’s appropriate when you know they are there for the long run.
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Before i became a parent i felt like a year was a good time span but now that im a parent i feel differently. Its so hard to give time into a relationship when your a parent and so its so much easier to give them your time at the same time. So i do agree with everyone else. Your kids are old enough to make that decision so ask them and see if they are comfortable with it. Let them know they can be open and honest with you about how they do end up feeling about him
First of all, idc if he’s ready or your ready. PERSONALLY I would wait till the KIDS are ready. No child wants to keep meeting your temporary bfs and call each one of them dad.
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I think your kids are old enough to ask them. Ask them if they would like to meet him or keep it like it is. Maybe they would be honest and tell you. You just never want them in a position to have to chose? Or not tell dad, or hide their true feelings. Ask them if they would like to meet the man you are dating. Explain to them about dating, it won’t be long and they too will be dating.
Just be careful introducing your children to a stranger, you don’t really know this guy either. Never let your guard down and protect your children at all cost
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You’re kids are old enough for you to sit down with them and have a chat about you dating. Let then ask questions and ask them questions like “would you be ready to meet so and so”. They’re going to be apart of the process anyways, so give them the option to participate.
I think only you can answer that because you know you/your kids. I introduced mine slowly (she was only 3). After 4ish months I would let them face time and we went shopping the first time they actually met. And then eased into things after that.
1 year I’ve been with my bf 4 years he meet them 2 years ago and only my older kids
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Every relationship and situation is different. When I met my now husband I would talk about my guy friend. About two months into our relationship my car broke down and didn’t have a way to work, he offered to take me to and from work. My kids go with me to work so they had to meet him. I introduced him as a friend and they liked him. I did ask questions to get a feel for how they felt about him. After about two weeks I had to admit we were dating because their father decided to tell them he was my boyfriend. I repeat every situation is different.
What happens if they do not like him? Are you ready to walk away? Ask yourself seriously because if they really don’t get along and you stay they will not trust you either.
I’d wait until you’ve dated them 1yrs plus (coming out of a child who’s mother would introduce them to their fling immediately)
Check Claires law and Sarahs law first…
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they’re old enough that you need to actually talk to then about it first.
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Edit: I commented this under another comment. But recommenting it so others are able to see 
Im really hoping she means that if the kids are not ready or dont want their Mom dating him or anyone… They will make it hard for their Moms relationship which could lead to them breakin up their Moms relationship w said BF.
But til they are mentally & emotionaly ready to meet him. They can continue to date as they have been til the kids say they are ready.
I really hope I this sense to what im tryn to say LoL
A Parent Mother or Father do deserve to b happy & not alone for the rest of their lives. Just cuz it didnt wrk out w their Father & Mother, doesnt mean neither one of them should date. Cuz who knos mayb the next person or person after that is the right one aka soulmate. But you cant find your soulmate unless you date.
When you feel you are ready invite him over for dinner so the kids can meet him depending what sort of kids they are take your time dont do sleep overs at first till they get used to him
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I dated my current bf for a yr and a half almost before my son met him. I wanted to make sure it was a right choice. Never been one to ever want men in and out of my sons life like that. He dealt enough with his father coming and going as he pleases.
I waited 6 months we have been together for 3 years now and are engaged he also has a son he has full time all of us get along great 
but I wanted to make sure we were gonna work before my kids meet him and his son and I also asked my daughter when she was ready my son was to young to talk at the time 
always ask your kids first it also there life and effects them!!
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If your feeling he is a good fit for you and you can trust him around your best most loved asset— because if they don’t like him more than likely he isn’t worthy enough to stay in your life— I trust kids and dogs
Coming from someone whose parents split up with I was 9…I never accepted my moms partners growing up because it was almost as if these men were strung upon us and we were just suppose to accept them and our opinions didn’t matter. It made me resent my mom so much.
Speak to your kids first and let them decide whether or not they are ready for someone else to enter their lives as a father figure. Relationships do take up a lot of your time and energy and If you have children at this age it is difficult for them to accept, Especially if the father has a huge role to play in the kids lives still. Your children should always be your number 1 priority. Introduce them slowly…as a friend…let them spend time together without the kids knowing that you see a future with said person. If they do not get along you need to make a call which is more important.
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After I divorced my 1st husband of 14 yrs I met a guy was with him for 2.5 years and I never introduced my kids to him. It was more like a friend with benefits. Then I met my husband now, for him I waited 5 months and that was the one been together almost 11 yrs now.
I would wait 6 months. That gives you enough time to see if it’s truly a long term relationship. If it is a question in your mind of how long they are going to stick around then it’s not time to introduce them. If you really think this is long term and working well, that’s when I’d talk to the kids about meeting him.
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I have a 6 month rule. And neither can be married even if they are separated. No over nights with kids around for a year. And ask kids how they feel
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I feel like, when he gives u a ring and y’all set a date. My mom did the serial boyfriend thing and I would have rather not known them.
Your children are old enough to tell you their opinion. Sit down and talk to them.
Couple of months. Then I would say yes. Me K let mine meet him. After fourth date. Wanted their feel on him And see if he was good with kids so kept bringing him around them as they say the mask falls
After so long
I personally think it depends on how you feel about it.
If you feel ready then you are ready, but ask your kids first. If they are ready and your guy is ready then it’s not too soon.
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Why ask everyone else. You will know when the time is right. Have to be better than the last one. Or he would be still there. Sometimes it good to keep some things to your self 
Only of you both see a serious and long term future otherwise why let kids get to attached
I waited till I got a promise ring.
I wouldn’t until you know you actually want marriage, and then I would sit them down and talk to them about it and introduce slowly. Just my opinion. I’ve seen kids hurt too many times from getting close to someone and it not working out in the long run.
I’d wait til you’re exclusive for at least 6 months. Then I’d ease into it with a dinner once a week and maybe something fun once a month for about 3 months. If all is still going well with the bf, then I’d ask the kids how much time they want to spend with him
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It’s when your comfortable…talk to the kids…make sure they are involved but not running your love life.
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When y’all become exclusive for a few months.
My bf met mine 5 months in. I met his like 2 weeks in. His is 17 now. And weve been together for almost a year and a half. Mine are young.
Both my boyfriend and I waited a year been together 8 years
I usually wait 6 months
Uh, if you can’t get past his porn/strip clubs… he definitely shouldn’t get past your door to meet your kids!!
Do you know the percentage rate of child abuse increases at the hands of a boyfriend or stepfather?!
And you think he’s not going to see one of your children the way he see’s a young woman in a strip club?!
That’s why those studies have been done… so you don’t have to make those same mistakes at the expense of your children.
Wake up!
Do the kids know you are dating and really know of him, ASK THE KIDS IF THEY WANNA MEET HIM.
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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. When should kids meet the person you are dating?
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When you set a date to get married.
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I think before then I slowly introduced my second husband to my kids when we dated
When u feel comfortable introducing your children. Ypu know your children better than anyone so only you will know the right time
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For me if this ever was the case I’d say 12 months. My mum has a new partner an she desperately wants me to meet him an I’ve told her the same 12 months then after a few meetings if I’m happy I’ll introduce my kids maybe. I’d want to make sure it’s a long term vomited relationship before bringing anyone else into it. I’d also want to be sure
Personally I’d wait 6-12 months before introducing anyone to my children. But it’s what you think is best. If you believe the relationship is for definite then go for it. But don’t introduce someone to them if they’re just gonna leave because it doesn’t just hurt you, it hurts the kids too xx
I waited a year. I don’t feel like a few months is long enough to really get to know someone. Everyones relationship is different though. Do what you feel is right for your family
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When the relationship takes a serious turn and all parties involved are ready to meet. Talk to your kids (not sure if they know you are dating yet) make sure they are ok with it they are the most important piece of the puzzle. If they aren’t ready don’t push it just keep talking to them. It’s important they know they’re feelings are valid in this relationship and that they have time to absorb it all and move forward. Not sure the circumstances of your relationship with their other parent and how things went down so they may need more time to work through their feelings of it all.
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6 months and a long term commitment…
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Your kids are old enough for you to talk to about it. Ask them! It’s saying a lot that you are even concerned about it. I don’t blame you, I would be too. Some people choose not to get to know someone before introducing them to their kids, and at times that can go horribly wrong. Best of luck sent your way!
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I have a 6 month rule. When younger, my son used to get attached to the guys in my life, dating or friends. So, before bringing anyone home to meet my child, I make sure I really do want to date them and it’s not just an infatuation.
I personally think its a decision the children should make, talk to them about him, explain how he makes u happy etc and then explain it is up to them if and when they are ready to meet him, I’ve recently got into a relationship with a guy I have been friends with for 30yrs, we both have kids, he has met mine as he stays at my house but we have left it to his kids for them to decide when they are ready to meet me, I would rather his kids feel comfortable about our relationship b4 they want to meet me, I wish u all the best x
I waited for a long term commitment because my daughter was only 3 and I didn’t want people in and out of her life. I feel like your children are old enough to be involved in this conversation. Maybe ask them how they feel about it? Good luck!
I bet my partners son after about a month of us dating. He was 8 at the time and knew he was dating someone new. He spoke with his son and asked if he wanted to meet, and explained we where very much looking to keep the relationship going. He said he wanted to so we did, but we did it as a relaxed day for him. My partner arranged a day with some of his friends and their children so his son had other kids round him to talk to or play with if needed, rather than just being thrown into a situation where it was just the three of us.
For us it worked perfectly and it went great. 5 year later we are still together with our own little one xx
I saw 3 months of dating. If it is going to be a serious relationship and will continue to grow, that’s when kids should be introduced. Because they will be heartbroken too if things don’t work out, so make sure this is something strong and worth the time and effort.
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I met my step son at 10 months, it had been a bit of a rocky road and he lives the other side of the country and is only 8 years old but my partner was going to leave it as long as he could.
I wanted to wait a while but ended up being the second time I met him as we were in lockdown and I was struggling with something he could help with. Introduced him as a friend and 8 months this month and my children absolutely love him
Maxine Schofield in Claire Marie Gorbutt eyes it’s straight away:joy:
xx
I’d ask the kids if they are ready to meet him and go from there
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Every relationship is different.
I met my now husband’s kids only a couple weeks after we started dating.
The kids were 12&14 at the time.
His ex wife was already remarried and had just gave birth to twin boys almost a year before we even started dating.
It really just depends on the circumstances and how well of a conversation you can hold with your kids about it. There’s a difference between having young impressionable children and teenagers in my opinion.
And if their fathers involved etc… so many factors.
But you need to be happy too!
It sounds like uv done everything right. If it feels like things will progress in ur relationship, and it’s been a few months, I think now is a good time.
Perhaps introduce them as a friend rather than “the boyfriend”. Let them get to know each other. It will be clear if kids dislike him & you get to decide to continue relationship. As you have already told them you are dating this approach may not work. Hopefully the guy isn’t cat fishing you for your kids. You are in the best position to know if you are ready for him to meet them & vice versa.
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Introduce the kids after 1 month of dating, but don’t let them hang out as “part of the family” until probably 5 - 6 months. Kids deserve to know who you’re seeing/where you’re going, but integrating them into the family too quickly can be disastrous of you don’t know each other well enough
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Your kids are old enough for you to ask their opinion and explain things. Also, I would tell the person you are dating that you want to talk to the kids first but also talk to them about how serious you both are. If the relationship isn’t serious enough yet, then no meeting. It isnt just hard on the people in the relationship when/if it ends but it can also take a toll on the children involved.