When should kids meet the person you are dating?

I waited 9 months. But I dont see him all the time because he lives 2 hrs away.

I think it’s unpredictable to actually say when relationship is serious I mean how many people get married and get divorced. I personally say when you both feel comfortable. Obviously your kids aren’t babies and if you talk with them they will be able to express how they feel about it. If you have been dating for awhile and you guys are pretty good together then talk to your kids.

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Not until it’s serious. You don’t want to let people come in, then they leave. Kids get attached too, and break ups can be hard on them also. Kids need consistency. They’re old enough you can talk to them and see what their opinion is also.

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Knowing it was a long term relationship…. My husband met my kids about 4 or 5 months into it . I met his around 5 months and all of our kids met had dinner together around 6 months

I think it all depends …you can start off by introducing them as a friend of yours…you don’t necessarily have to introduce them as a someone you are in a relationship with.

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Me and my partner waited nearly a year before I got to meet his boys as it important to show them consistency and to know if your relationship is going to work and feel right

When your kids decide they want to!

6 months and committed

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Only you know when you and your kids are ready for that step. I think it’s a situation where if you know, you know. If you’re unsure, wait a little longer. But if you and your partner feel strong and you feel good about introducing them, then go for it :heart: no time is right or wrong x

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I don’t see why people make a big issue about kids meeting a new friend, friends come and go … you wouldn’t hesitate if he was a female friend and those relationships/friendships come and ago just as dating and bf’s do so :woman_shrugging:

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I would get a police check done on him first to ensure there isn’t a problem with children like a pedophile or maybe other problems with relationships in his past such as abuse. Once you know everything is ok then ask your children first. I agree with the one poster on here about being in the honeymoon phase still. Give it lots of time

I think it depends on the situation. The kids, the family dynamics, your ex if they are involved. The age of the kid plays a huge factor. The older the kid you might want to wait a bit or introduce the person in an informal way. After you’ve discussed it with the person you’re dating. Getting their thoughts on child rearing and if they mesh. How serious do you think it will be. What you want out of the relationship. Brining a kid into a relationship can be awesome or hard. I’ve heard everything from 3 months to up to a year. Honestly I just think it depends on different factors.

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Well my BD didn’t pick up his kid like he was supposed to. Luckily the man bought an extra movie ticket so my kid met him on our first date.

Three and a half years later - we just celebrated our 1 year wedding anniversary last night

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I would wait a bit longer, make sure his intentions for your kids are good and that he truly is the man u think he is. Just my opinion today’s world you can trust no one.

Personally unless it’s been a solid 6 months I don’t think I’d make the introduction. I think a half a year is a good rule of thumb gives you time to figure each other out first so you can decipher whether or not it’s serious or just a fling. And then make the introduction after your sure it’s going to last long term. Worst thing you can do is insert someone in your child’s life temporarily and have them just disappear because y’all didn’t work out! And I’d want to see how he interacts with my kids because if that isn’t good than it’s not going any further for me! But I would say it’s a friend before I’d say it’s my SO because it may not work out. Until my son is 18 it’s my goal and priority to raise him and put him first. Not everyone may agree with that but as a single parent that’s my goal and priority after he’s 18 than I can marry or date someone without having to worry about the dynamics so much.

Leave it as long as you can! That way you stay in the dating phase for longer & get to do lots of kid free stuff!
Plenty of time for all the family activities later.

I’d wait cause you still really don’t know this person,sometimes it takes a very long time …I’m only saying this out of experience.my daughter was 12 at the time that I started dating this man which we we’re together 8 months so I decided ok let them meet and after a month later he tells me that we’re made from 2 different cloths …ok what a nut job he had me completely fooled for 8 months I mean the relationship was fantastic we were 100 percent compatible and out of the blue he tells me some shit like that.so now I’ve been single 3 yrs and plan on staying single cause there’s no one worth my time now .so I’d still wait if I were you …just saying

Have him bring pizza :heart:

You have to think about yours and their intentions in the relationship as well as the impact you think it might have on the kids. Some people i know also have had almost no help with their kids so the kid’s ended up meeting the s.o. Informally but quickly otherwise they’d never meet anyone. I met my bf’s daughter (3 at the time) probably 2 months after we met. Here we are less than a year later with a house, a baby on the way, and we’re happy. It just doesn’t work that way for everyone. Do what’s best for you

Any intimate relationship must reside under my roof .If I have desire for another wife…under my roof.

A few months isn’t enough time to know someone. No thank you.

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Maybe ask the kids if they would like to meet him then go from there kids may not want to meet ur new man yet u have told them ur dateing so maybe let the kids decide when they are ready xx

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It’s not really an amount of time as much as when everyone in the situation is ready, talk to your kids and see if they would be interested in meeting. Just make it a calm easy interaction, maybe go to dinner or something everyone would enjoy

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We waited 9 months, and made sure it wasn’t some big thing

I think when you know this person is good and is going to be around a while and cares enough about you to want to hear about your kids everday, now is the time to introduce them

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Sounds like you know when. Your kids aren’t babies so you should be able to talk to them and only you’ll know when they’re ready. Good for you!

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When you and kids feel you’re ready

Only when it’s absolutely air apparent that it’s serious. Or say it’s a friend and treat the other as a friend when kids are present.

You don’t know anyone as well as you think you do after a few months. I’d say at least a year. You’re still in the fresh, honeymoon stage of dating. Of course you’re both putting your best foot forward. It takes a long time to really get to know someone, see their true colors and learn their intentions. Waaay too early to introduce him to your kids, in my opinion.

Protect your kids from you bringing guy after guy into their lives. You’ll damage them. Your kids should be your number one priority.

At least 6 months, committed, and the kids decide they want to

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Id say after 6 months because by then true colours will be apparent. This is ur decision though. If ur kids are curious and want to meet him, I don’t see a problem

Too many ppl move too fast. Kids shouldnt be getting attatched to everyone they date. 6 mo or more.

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Talk to your kids and see what they say so it does not feel to them that this is being pushed on them. After all if your relationship continues into something more permanent they will need to feel comfortable.

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My partner and I when we first started dating introduced the kids very early on. (We both had young kids) so to them it just seemed like a play date with a new friend, 2 years later we have a kid together and live has a happy blended family.

Its always hard knowing when to introduce kids, I dated someone who didn’t have kids of his own and I didn’t introduce them for quite some time.

Only you will know whe the right time is

It was about 6 months before my 3 met my new fella. But, it was literally just long enough for him to give us a lift home (it was pouring down). Every week after that we got a lift, and then very slowly, and very gradually he stayed a little longer each time. It was about a year before he stayed the night. That was over 11 years ago, and they see him as their dad now. Both your boyfriend and children need to slowly get to know each other.

I won’t let my kids meet the person until I am sure the person is marrying material.
I don’t feel they need any more heart ache

The first 6months to a year is a honeymoon phase. After that the blinders come off. I would wait until it’s closer to a year and make sure nothing changes. The last thing you want is the kids to get attached and then hurt because things didn’t work out

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I introduced my children to my partner after about 4 months. I waited until I got to the point i believed the relationship had a future in it because if there was doubt then meeting the children would add pressure on the relationship. I also did it in an outdoor setting because their home would have been too much for them as its their territory and their safe place. Ask the children if they would like to meet him and where they would like to go. It will take time to build that bond but they are your priority and you have to go by their feelings. I’m sure youl know what to do for the best.

Depends… the person, the kids. All if their ages.
You know your own children.

Me and my partner have been together 2 & half years (we don’t live together, see eachother most weekends and during the week) and haven’t met eachothers kids (my son is almost 8 & his son is almost 5 so a bit young I think personally) both children know about their parents SO so it’s no secret. We just love it being just us for now :blush: I think it’s absolutely down to the child when they think they’re comfortable enough to meet someone their parent is dating, it’s quite a big step into meeting someone who could be in their lives forever or a short time & not a step to be taken lightly. Also you should probably wait a while, I’d say past the 1 -1.5 year mark, to know for sure this is a person you want meeting your child/ren. :blush:

My boys where 17 and 14 when I first went on date with now wonderful husband, they insisted he come in house , while I went to get t my coat in back room, I could hear them grilling him. "Just what are your intentions toward our mother?’ Lol. When we left, they said , if your going to be late , make sure you call,(talk about turning the tables on me, lol)

If he’s wanting to meet ur kids it doesn’t sound like he has a problem with u having kids and maybe that will be the deal breaker for him if they give him alot of flack…

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When you feel it’s right not him. Those are your children . Everyone is nice at first. A few months is not long enough to know this person :thinking::shushing_face::wink::heart::pray:

My advice: don’t take advice from people on Facebook.

My late hubby and i saw each other for almost a year before i met his kids…we had taken a break for a little over two months because he was afraid of admitting how he felt about me…he had met all three of mine from the get go but his were much younger and dealing with their mothers bf moving in with them…we had a solid base before i met his girls but it went pretty well…the eldest daughter had some jealousy issues at first but when she was told by her dad that he had enough love for all of us she came around…since his passing both girls have pretty much been done with me…i finally stopped being the one chasing them…if they want me in their life they know where i am now

6months …
Will speak the truth to your spirit…then ur heart…WAIT ON GOD

I waited 15 months to introduce them. I have a 14 yo 12 yo and 9yo all girls. My marriage to their father was horrible. I didn’t want them to get attached incase things didn’t work out. Turns out they still weren’t ready. My guy and I are still together even though they aren’t his biggest fans but they don’t have to see him so it works out. Id ask the kids if they want to meet the guy first… Good luck!

Its different for everyone.

And so many scenarios have different timeline…the age of the kids being a big thing.

The biggest thing I learned from people I knew who started dating was to make sure the household was stable…i.e. dont introduce them to every man/women you date, it causes an unstable environment.

It depends on your kids and how you feel as the parent, if you feel it’s going long term or not, if it’s just hook ups or an actual relationship.

If you feel its going to be long term then introduce the kids.

I would say wait atleast 6 months for an introduction, a one time meet up…then if the relationship lasts a year he/she can be around the kids more(or keep them being around the kids between 6 months to a year limited, not every weekend or whatever)…of course this is a loose guideline based on people I know who had kids and were dating. Again it will be different for each parent and their child(ren). Just because what you choose to do doesnt follow a guideline doesn’t mean it’s necessarily wrong.

But again the most important thing in my opinion is to not create instability in the household by bringing around a new date every week or month. You may bring somebody around that’s great with the kid(s)but then yall dont get along… the kid(s) will experience that loss of somebody they like just as you will. It’s not fair to do that to them over and over and over. That’s about the only way you can go wrong is by doing this. Aside from not doing your due diligence of making sure they’re a decent human being or letting that person take priority over your own child(ren).

Your kids should not meet every man your vagina does

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Every relationship is different and there are no set rules. You have to do what feels right to you. My kids met the guy in seeing before I did (go figure)!! Aged 12 and 10!! They still think of him as just a friend and that’s fine with us. It just works.

Truly I would not introduce anyone to my kids until in a serious relationship dating over a year and only if long term was the goal of the relationship

Since your kids already know your dating & you friend wants to meet them. Let them meet as life goes on.

Personally, I would like to see him around other kids first. Does he have kids? Or nieces and nephews? I would try to observe him in that situation before having him around my kids. Watch how he relate to them and more importantly, how they relate to him.

My husband wanted me to meet his kids right away, the kids mom wouldn’t let him see them or me, which I understood. A few months in I got to meet them and we have been inseparable since. I love my kiddos!

When you and the kids feel comfortable. Talk to them see how they feel. Also if you are just dating I would wait. If you feel he is the one and he feels the same then definitely talk to the kids first.
Its hard of the kids if they get attached and he leaves.

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When I began dating (we are still together 13 yrs later) my daughters were 4& 5, he finally met them 2 yrs later. It just seemed right to wait until our relationship was more than just casual. He never came over or came in the home while they were present and there was absolutely no sleeping over until after they met him and were comfortable with him. Now they have nothing but respect for him and even though we’re not married they refer to him as stepdad.

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What does your heart say?

I waited a quite a few months for my son to meet my now husband. But then again my child was two when I started dating my husband

Not until you have set the marriage date

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Listen to what your heart tells you. Never put your guard down. Check background! Good luck only you will sense the perfect time to introduce him to your children.

Be careful who you let your kids meet. Not everyone is what the appear. Be extra cautious of men that are overly eager to meet your kids and NEVER leave them alone with some random person you’ve known for only a few months.

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There’s no time limit.
Its when it feels right.
Could be weeks, months or never.
If you feel hes rushing you don’t do it.
If it just doesnt feel ‘right’ its not.
Question everything mama they depend on you to do that for them :revolving_hearts:

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When right now before you get to serious he and the children might not like each other and then you would have to start looking for the right one again good luck with what ever you do you deserve it

Take your time don’t rush into him knowing your children .being compatible with each other is not the reason for him to meet your children . Still wait and talk to your children first .

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Kids shouldn’t meet the person you’re dating. Once you’re serious enough to call it a relationship, then is the time.

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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. When should kids meet the person you are dating?

I think it would be fine now.

Few months? Like 3-4? If so that’s not rushing it BUT you mentioned what the guy wants… what do YOU want and more importantly the kids want? Do they know you’re dating someone?

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My kids won’t meet another man unless we’re planning to get married in the near future.

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If it’s someone you can see you staying with permanently then I’d say when you feel comfortable but if you’re not sure yet then they don’t need to meet him yet

When you and your boyfriends both start wanting a future together.

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Just ask them if they would like to meet the guy you’re dating.

If your not sure yet then don’t but if your sure then he’s going to have to meet them so you can see if he can handle children on there good days n bad days an if you all get along together, so you know to move forward with a future with him, you can’t wait until your talking about marriage to meet your kids, cause you wont even know if the kids like him n how well you all get along together day in an day out

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Don’t wait until you’re about to get married to introduce the kids to a new permanent man in their life… that’s irresponsible and stupid.
If yall haven’t started talking about a future together, I’d wait.

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At least 6 months. When you know each other better and know if your both in it for the long run.

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Theres meeting him then there’s planning family holidays together. It won’t do them any harm to say hi. Your kids are older so it may put their mind at ease that they know who you are out on dates with. Maybe all go for an Ice cream together for a couple of hours, away from the house. X

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Well, I am on the other end of this. To me, he won’t know if he could truly be with you until he meets your kids and “mom” you. If you trust his intentions, go ahead and let them meet!

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If there is a commitment to stay together long term, that is the time to introduce your children. If you are choosing a man to be in your life, he will also be in your children’s lives.

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I waited a year after my divorce. That was 9 years ago. Still with the same guy and it was the best decision for all of us. Every situation is different.

A week after walking out on your wife. :rofl:

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When your kids want to meet him. Have you asked them?

My son met my boyfriend right away but my boyfriend is also my next door neighbor so he knew him before we were dating

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My children didn’t meet my boyfriend until maybe 2 years of dating. Flash forward to 3 years after introducing them to him we are expecting a bundle of joy. I don’t think it’s entirely fair to the kids to be introduced to someone who may not be around long.

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I think at 6 months …
the last guy I dated was too fast & I wasn’t comfortable with that … I think he thought differently but I was just trying not to have my daughters meet a man until I knew for sure we were gona be together together & we didn’t end up together

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I have been with my guy for almost a year and a half and hes just now getting ready to meet them. I was in an abusive relationship before this (finally got out 3 years ago) and ive been terrified of allowing anyone else near them. Hes a great guy but i wanted to be 1000000% first. My kiddos are 7,5,&3

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My children have met almost every man I’ve dated since their dad (which is only 2) about a month after when they started asking questions, however the man I’m with now, and have been with a year and a half now, has met them, but doesn’t actually do things with us just yet because it can be overwhelming for both he and the kids. I say allow them to meet for a couple hours if you’re all on the same page, and just gradually bring him into your life that way!

At least 6 months is what most judges require.

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How do you know how he will be with your children if you don’t let them socialize together lol

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I waited 6 months. Then after 1.5 years we moved in together.
That gave us time for him to get used to being around kids, and my kids used to being around someone that isn’t their dad all the time.

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I waited a year after dating him when we started talking long term. My son was 12. I used to spend every other weekend at his house when my son was with his dad. I started taking him over on my weekend for about 6 months.When we moved in together everyone was comfortable. We married a year later with my sons blessing.

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I’d say it’s time. The first time needs to be in a fun setting

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I’m married but if I ever split from him, I wouldn’t have my kid meet another man until at least a year. But I’m funny about my kid. My mom constantly had men roaming in and out our lives when we were little and all it did was cause problems and later on, resentment. :woman_shrugging:

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I waited about 6 months.
That was almost 15yrs ago. Lol. Married 13.
Your children are old enough to have a day so include them. If they want to wait, that’s ok too.

Until you really know them. Not saying this will be your situation. But it can happen. My mom met and married a guy with 5 months. He sexually abused me for 10 plus years. This won’t be everyone’s situation but you can’t be naive. Please take your time with the kids. If they are uncomfortable please listen to them.

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When you are both pretty sure about each other

They are old enough to have an input. I would talk to them &let them decide if they are ready to meet him.

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Right away imo. Cause if he and the kid/s don’t mesh no point in the relationship. Any guy I have dated had met my son right from the start. My child comes before any man. If they don’t have a connection from the beginning means it’s a no go for me

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When my mom divorced; she dated they found out about me and ran for the hills-then she met my step dad and he invited us both on a date he said my mom was a package deal and he’s been my dad ever since— fast forward to when I met my husband, who is also a package deal, most of our dates were spent at the park or some other kid friendly venue. Our thoughts were why waste time building a relationship with only one half of the package?

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I don’t think there’s really a time limit but I definitely think you need to both sit down and see if this is going to be a long-term thing

My now hubby and I were together a year b4 I met his son

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