When should someone you are dating meet the kids?

I’m 36 years old I haven’t done much dating i’ve been single 9years, and from those nine years, I have had two serious relationships which have not worked out my last one was 2 1/2 years ago. I have three kids from a previous marriage, 18 boys, 15 girls & a 10-year-old boy; I started seeing someone like a month ago. I don’t know how long do I have to wait so he can meet my kids and family. So far everything is going well, he asked me to be his girlfriend, so we’re dating now, but should he meet my kids right away or how long should I wait? He’s 36 years old.

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I would give it time before letting him meet the children.

My rule is 6 months together before meeting the kids.

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I see nothing wrong with introducing him to your children at a dinner out? Your children are older and probably understanding dating doesn’t mean marriage

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Id wait longer than a month for sure

What’s the rush? Make this about you and him right now.

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Jesus i thought you said you had 18 boys and 15 girls…lol thanks for the laugh. I would says your children are old enough to understand, i would ask them when they would feel comfortable meeting him

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Personally, I would wait. :grin:

I read this sooooo wrong​:grinning::joy: i thought you have 18 boys and 15 girls. Hehe.

I would wait. 12 months minimum

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A couple months if it feels right. I think my oldest met my current hubby about 2 months into us dating we were engaged just after that and married a few months later ( its been 17 1/2 yrs now) 6 months seems a bit long if you are serious about a guy. if its casual and not exclusive dont ever.

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I know everyone is not bad people. And this goes for men and women. Get a back ground check.

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I was friends with my now BF before we started dating so he already knew my son (now 9). I was also babysitting his son (now 5) 1 day a week. We’ve been together a year and a half

Wait. Discuss with kids how they feel about you dating. How do they feel about potentially having to see him often? It’s just you to think about you

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You do not need to wait 6 months. Smh. Your children are older let them reside if they wanna do a dinner out and get to know him.

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Generally about 6 months BUT a lot depends on your take on his character… Trust your instincts! It may be earlier or as late as 1 year! But try to give at least a month regardless of how great you think he is x

Wait for the true colors. Its early yet.

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As soon as possible. Why hide them.

Discuss with your kids about it, see if they are comfortable.

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I have a older daughter from previous relationship the guy I’ve been with 10 yrs didn’t meet her right away but I did tell him about her.

I would wait. I waited 3 months before I brought my current boyfriend around my daughter.

Whenever you start to feel like you know if the relationship is going to last.

If you’re comfortable and you’ve talked to your kids about how they feel I don’t see an issue with it, they’re older so they can understand better.

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I read this same question the other day in this group and my answer will be the same for you. Whenever you are ready.

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Your kiddos are old enough to understand and decide if they’re ready to meet him. If they are go somewhere neutral (restaurant e.t.c) so this way nobody has “home field” advantage

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Wait until you meet his family. It’s only fair. Then he can meet yours. Tit for tat.

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You’re the mom and you know how you feel if he feel this is right then whenever you feel like it it’s appropriate than that’s when they should meet but if you’re unsure of the situation with the relationship didn’t hold off your kids you never one and it’s obviously that you feel that way I command you for being a single mom of three keep me in the mom that you are God bless and happy New Year to you and I’m happy for about your new relationship

I would wait. And discuss with your kids about it before you do. But I would meet his family first and then he can meet yours

Good question. I understand waiting completely and I think it’s best but I didn’t wait. My daughter was two and met my bf only about two weeks after we made it official. I just felt completely sure about him and we both felt it was weird to not include her the time we spent together. And thankfully it worked out. We are engaged and just had our second child together.

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I don’t think there’s a set time. Obviously the age and maturity of the kids is different but I think you definitely do need to make sure that this person is in your life for a long term ride. Not just casual . 

I say wait a couple more months to see

I waited about 5 months to tell my children, then I let them decide. My youngest was excited and they met immediately. My oldest was hesitant and waited.

Lol. I would wait a few months.

I would wait at least 6 months.

Our first date was taking our kids to a indoor play place :woman_shrugging:

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When you feel safe to .

I think with your kids being older you should discuss with them, however I made my partner wait 6 months before he met my kids x

Mine were 13 and 8 when I met my husband. I waited nearly a year because I wanted to be sure he’d be around for the long haul. I figured that they had enough loss with divorce etc that I didn’t need to introduce someone new into their lives to have them disappear later.

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4-6 months, then you know if it’s going somewhere or not. First few months are always a honeymoon stage and everything smells like roses. 4 months is not a little ng time either but the kids are older so not too bad. If they were little and didn’t understand things I’d say longer.

I would say 6 months at least

There is no set time. My mom always waited until she felt ready to introduce anyone to me. Sometimes it took a few months, sometimes longer. If you feel ready then discuss it with your kids and see if they’re ready.

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I don’t have any advice but did anybody else read this like she had 18 sons, 15 daughters, and a baby or was that just me? :sweat_smile:

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6 months is what I’d do, purely to see your compatibility, also I’d talk about what you are both looking for in the future too, or if you introduce them earlier, do it as ‘a friend’.

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Let me get this straight: You met a man a MONTH ago and so far things are going well. He asked you to be his girlfriend after dating you for a MONTH​:joy::joy::joy:. I don’t mean to laugh but asking you to be his girlfriend part kind of made me giggle because you guys are in your 30s.:woman_facepalming:t4:
TBH, what do you really know about this man after one month? Let me also ask you this, those serious relationships that didn’t work out, did you move this quick? When he asked you to be his “girlfriend” did you say yes? My advice to you is to SLOW DOWN. If it’s meant to be it shouldn’t matter if you wait about 5-6 months for him to meet your kids. See if this relationship is going anywhere first.

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Not until your sure who ever it is , is going to be around a long time

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Wait til about 6 month ur kids dont need men walking in and out there life

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If they were younger I would say wait but being as they are older children essentially I would explain that you are seeing someone and it’s not serious and ask them when they want to meet him. They are able to give their own option are how comfortable they are and when.

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Does he seem interested in meeting them ? Also I feel like you should around 4 months don’t get too attached until you read his body language around your kids . My mom dated a guy that was an ahole thankfully I was grown and married every time we would run into him and her he’s roll his eyes and suck his teeth … my sister and I spoke with her she was very defensive and ignored us … he was even more a her he kept standing her up and saying they were gonna go out she’d cook get dressed to go over he’d cancel last minute … total ahole . He never took her out . She always cooked with food from her house and brought it over . Read him and read your kids well

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Wait until you know he’s serious.

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I’m not gonna read all these comments but I know some of you also read she has 18 boys and 15 girls :joy::joy::joy::flushed:

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Give it some time. You can let your kids know your saying someone & they will meet him, when you feel comfortable that he is sticking around for a while. Let them know, you don’t want them disappointed

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I am dating someone now for about a month and he met my kids last Friday night. This isnt some new random person in my life. I met him when I was 15 and I’m 36 now.

My kids met my husband before our first date. Granted we’d known each other years ago and he wanted to see my mom who was babysitting so we could go out. For the littlest it was love at first sight and vice versa. The older 3 took a while but warmed up pretty fast. I wouldn’t recommend this with someone you just met off the street, but it worked for us.

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Do the kids know about him, his name?, talk to the kids about him, and so forth.

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id say 6 months to make sure it will last between the both of you , thats what my husband and i did with our children from previous relationships , and its 10 years yesterday we started seeing each other and have a daughter that is 8 almost 9

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Youre the mom why you asking us i know whats right for my kids

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I’d say 6 months at least.

How can you be single 9 years and then say you had two serious relationships during that time? Is anyone else confused?

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6 months… work out the relationship kinks. Kids need stability, and that includes the ppl allowed into their lives. I grew up with a bit of a revolving door of boyfriends. Start to really like the guy and then they were gone. It’s a lot like going through a breakup for the kid when the relationship ends. That’s not fair to the kids

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Introduce them right away. Your kids are your life… why persue a relationship for 6 month or a year, that you think will work… but then a year later the kids met him and they dont like him or vice versa… then you wasted a year of your time… because now it’s done because it didnt work with the kids. Introduce him as a friend first… easy it in… but dont wait and waste time. You need to know if the whole packed will work. Doesnt mean have him over all the time staying the night leaving kids with him… no. DATE go slow… hey guys met my friend… move it slowly forward. JUST MY OPINION. I was told this by a single mothers counselor. I disagreed at first until I realized the bigger picture of it. It makes sense… to me.

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Wait until after your first arguement ,at least, you need to see each other at you worst before involving your kids.

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With them being older you can discuss it with them. But I would still wait at least a few months before introducing him. If they were much younger I would say at least 6 months.

This is a support group. If you don’t like something I’m sure you’re adult and can move past it. Why waste time to laugh? That is so childish and rude…

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Your kids are old enough that they are more then welcome to know, and if they want to meet him right away then awesome. If some of them want to hold back then that’s their choice.

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When the relationship moves from dating to committed. You should never bring your relationships in and out of your children’s lives it’s confusing and disrespectful.

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Do not involve your child/children with whom you are dating. You are dating; not getting married. You should never introduce your child/children to the people that you are dating. It is not a good idea to have your child/children be involved especially if these individuals are not good.

Wait until YOU feel it is right
You need to know how well YOU know this person.

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You’ll know when the time is right, but don’t rush it. At the same time, dont wait a crazy amount of time either because its important for your children to approve. And dont just throw him at your children, introduce them then let him around them on occasion because you dont want them completely losing alone time with you, causing conflit and resentment.

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One month and he wants you to be his girlfriend? I would take it slow for sure. What do you know about him? Your kids are older and could butt heads with him. Does he have any kids? Please be careful, so little time has elapsed, only a month. Continue to put you children first. Invite him over as a friend see how that goes. Kids are pretty smart and can see through more than we can sometimes. Then after he comes over ask your kids their opinion.

Whenever you feel the time is right. Every situation is different and they are old enough to understand.

If it were me, I’d wait 6-8 mths to gauge where the relationship is at. If you feel like this is someone who you could potentially marry, then introduce them to him. This would have to be someone worth my kids time.

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Follow your heart and your gut. Be honest with your kids and make sure to listen to them, especially the younger one. But remember you deserve to be happy also!

My now husband and I dated a year before he met my boys. They don’t need to be involved in this until you believe that it is serious.

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I’d wait a little longer personally but when it feels right to you

Now, because if my kids aren’t welcome in his life, I’m not either :heart:

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I’d wait at least 3 months. I didnt get much of a chance when meeting my husbands kids. He invited me out to a place, and I ended up meeting both his kids, his ex wife, and her bf all at once. Then the mom decided to hand over all her responsibilities to the kids to me, and here we are, 4 years later…
I feel like me and the kids got cheated out of the slow bond stage.and ended up shoved together.

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Guess it really depends. I think if you know you’ll know! But you also don’t want to bring anyone around the kids that isn’t going to last… don’t want the kids getting attached to someone for them to be just gone forever (even know I know that is inevitable and can happen with friends and family too)

I’d say rather than a time frame its more about how serious the relationship is. If its serious let him meet your kids. If it’s not, then dont let him meet them until you’re sure it’s going to last. Children need stability. Not to get attached to someone only for them to walk out of their lives.

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I do an initial meet immediately after the start of dating. I want to see how they interact together and make sure the kid is comfortable with the person. When I started dating my son was 4. Slowly added time together, few times a month going to dinners or the zoo, aquarium. Increasing to a couple times a week, boyfriend coming over for dinner/staying the night a couple times. Increased time together slowly, making sure kid and bf were comfortable with it. When we decided to live together I talked to my son about it, he was excited. Like getting a new best friend. Now Older son calls him dad and he has a new little brother.

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Personally, since your kids are on the older end, I would be upfront about the relationship. The other option is sneaking around to see him? Teenagers are way too perceptive for that. Teens value honesty from their parents, and you don’t want to be caught deceiving them.
Then you can just ask them when and if they want to meet him. I’m sure they don’t expect Mom to be alone for the rest of your life…
If they were younger, I’d exercise caution. But in your situation, I feel honesty is better for all of you. :heart:

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Pretty sure those kids are old enough now to deal with it…

I’d wait at least 6 months .

My boyfriend and I have been dating for 3 months but he met my son immediately. I look at it this way, if he doesn’t hit it off with my kid, we aren’t going to work out.

Everyone is different. I only waited like 3 weeks and now It’s been a year and my son lives with me and my boyfriend

Honestly i would wait a couple months until the lovey dovey phase is over and you have some real time to figure out if hes a keeper.

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I’d say wait 3 months before introducing to kids. You guys get to know each other some first without kids. But that’s my opinion you know your relationship and what’s best for you and your kiddos better than anyone. Momma’s intuition. Good luck!

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You guys should talk about it and decide what you want together since your dating. And maybe talk to your kids without him first and see if they are open to it and ready

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Wait no reason to introduce your children to someone who might not stay in your life. I’d wait until you know he’s permanent

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The sooner the better. Make sure he can stand them before you get too attached…
You love your kids, I love mine, everyone loves their own. But that doesn’t mean someone else will even like them.

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Def not right away. At least 3 months, maybe 6.

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I would say wait at least 6 months. Make sure he’s legit. You basically just met this man “like a month ago”.

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I would wait until things are serious

That hard I was single for a while as well I was in small relationship that never met my child but the one I am with now I kinda knew and he met her after a few weeks I wanted to see how he was with her before I let it become more. I guess it’s just want makes you comfortable.

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I say a minimum of 6 months that when everyone’s true colors start showing.

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Thats a very personal choice. I would wait long enough to know it was going somewhere but not too long where you both get so attached and then maybe find out later he sucks with the kids

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As long as possible. Lol. I always hated meeting my moms boy friends. Wait and see if it gets serious and if it does then introduce.

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I usually recommend 6 months.

I would say if you have been seeing him a month and really like him, wait another month to make sure he’s faithful and then introduce him to the kids. I see no point in waiting so long since your kids are your life and he wants in on your life lol

You haven’t been single 9 years if you’ve had 2 serious relationships have you.

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I waited 6 months before I met my step daughter. Make sure it’s something you can see continuing before you bring kids into the mix.

I knew my husband for 1 yr, dating for 6 months before I introduced my daughter to my husband.

I feel like they’re probably old enough to understand the dating world a little bit and as long as he’s not trying to be their dad then they’d probably not be heartbroken if you break up.

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