I agree with the man. Your relationship with him can be used against you in court. You could even loose the kids
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So your not even divorced yet and you want to what? 
No. Just no.
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Personally- 3-6 months of steady dating
I would use caution. If you are only talking then no don’t introduce them. If you been on dates and are in a relationship then yes introduce but use precautions. There’s no right or wrong here it’s what you feel comfortable with doing.
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If you want to see how he does with the kids host a get together with some friends and have him come over that way he doesn’t feel weird about it and the kids wont think anything of it either
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I would at very least wait until the divorce is final.
If he’s not comfortable don’t force the issue.
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If this new relationship is everything you rhink it might be then theres no reason NOT to wait. He will still be around when your divorce is final. And you will know hes committed. Dont introduce to your kids this early. You never know what will happen. I would wait. If the divorce drags on and on you can always open the conversation back up. Dont rush it and put your kids in that situation.
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The first few times my current fiance met my kids it was at neutral places. The arcade, the circus, the zoo. We also waited about 9 months after I left their father.
Your divorce should be completely over, and the kids should have a long adjustment period before meeting someone else. At least 8 months after the divorce is finalized.
This is going to effect your kids more than you can begin to imagine. Your kids are young, and if things do not work out with this man, they are going to be questioning why he left constantly.
Honestly, I wouldn’t bring him around until you are absolutely certain that you are going to stay in eachothers lives.
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Why dont you get divorced before even dating other men an why are you so anxious for your kids to meet him I mean come on will you be asking the same question about another guy you have met by Christmas
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The one and only time I let someone around my kids was when we were in a public place playing and he showed up and joined us as a friend for a bit. We came separate and left separate and he was introduced as a friend. But my ex drug my divorce out for 2 years even though he was the one who left me for someone else, so it had been over a year after he had left us too.
If he thinks it’s too soon then I would just wait until he belthes ready. Not good to force something like that on a guy your dating.
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Aside from you’re divorce I would say that the father of the kids should know who is being brought into his kids lives, just remember this if your kids aren’t comfortable around him don’t push or force them into it, kids know and sense things that a lot of times we as adults don’t catch. Put your kids first and foremost before any man that you’re bringing into your life.
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If you haven’t held a relationship bond with their father in more than 6 months, I’d say go for it! They are young. It’s not like they’re teenagers. However, start with large groups of people and mutual places. Introduce him as a friend and definitely definitely wait until he is comfortable. Tell him that you want him to meet them now but you respect his decision and will wait until he feels comfortable with it. Because if I have learned anything in my past break up - don’t force things. If you have to force it, it’s not meant to be.
Wait until he is comfortable. Then do mutual places. Slowly introduce to kids.
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Wait. Bc the kids will be confused if things don’t work out since they are so small.
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When you feel it’s the right time . You know better than anyone 
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I’ve been single for nearly 4 years and still have not introduced my 13 year old to anyone.
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I introduced my children to a new guy after talking to him for 6 weeks. I spent almost 3 years saying I’d be with someone for a long time before they met my kids. Then after being with someone, I knew it was important for my kids to get along with him if it was going to get serious. But I knew I wanted forever with him. My kids call him dad, (theirs moved away over a year ago) and we’re getting married Saturday. Good luck to you. Just do what feels right for both of you. Talk about it and make sure you both feel comfortable with your decision
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Y’all realize people can drag out divorces for years. If she wants to date let her. That’s not what she wants opinions on, judge much 
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Okay you have alot of hateful messages. Look, if you’ve known this guy and trust him then thats great! If hes not ready to meet the kids then dont force it, you can bring him around and say it’s a friend. If it doesnt work the kids are way too young to remember, they’re probably not even going to remember your divorce in a few years… someone posted you could lose your kids? Dont listen to that because you’re stable and you filed for divorce way before this happened. Just tell him not to get involved because things can start getting messy real quick. Hang in there I hope all works out for you!
Wait . I’ve know the man iam wt for over 20 years . been together for 6 . This is not the same man i meet 20+ years ago . My opinion is i would wait till your divorce is final . Life has a way of changing a person .
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I waited 6months before my son met my partner. It was meant to b longer but they accidently meet one night when I son woke up unexpectedly. We have been together 6 yrs now.
If he wants to wait longer to make sure all is good, then do that. Who knows it could happen earlier but respect his decision as it’s a change for him as well
Good luck 
Our first date involved our children… we had a play date, kids ages where 18m, 2 and 3.5. They didn’t know the difference…
They began going to his home (now ours) about 3 months after we started dating.
I knew I wanted to spend my life with him from the second date.
We moved quickly and moved in about 6 months later, 8 months after separating from my ex husband. Been together for over 2 years now. 
If he’s not ready, dont force him because he may not be as committed to the relationship as you are. But after 6 months or so if he’s still not ready to meet them, move on.
The fact people are attacking her for asking a freaking question is ridiculous… yall ain’t gotta be rude. Personally, if he wants to wait I’d say wait. But if that was taken out I would say you could always go out for coffee or icecream or something. And “run into each other” and you could say that it was an old friend and invite him to have icecream with you or something. That way it’s not like your kids are being forced to meet their moms boyfriend. They are just meeting a friend. I’ve never been divorced or know what it’s like but I feel like something simple like that could be fine.
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Personally I would just let it be a stand still. If you truly want the guy in your life then you will respect his comfort zone as well. He probably is worried he will get attached and you will go back to your husband and he will be heartbroken. I would just accept his wishes, if you truly want to be with him
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They are so young I would wait until the divorce is over and just get to know the guy, in a year will fly by …no need to rush into anything just fresh from a brake up.
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Committed relationship and serious dating for a year bare minimum.
People can pretend and fake it for a long while. If he’s not ready to meet the kids I wouldn’t push it.
You just left in February, not nearly enough time to have started dating someone else and moved on from a marriage.
Why people go jumping one relationship to another with kids involved I don’t understand
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Not until you know what kind of person you’re dating and only after you’re feeling serious. Don’t Bring every tom dick and harry into their lives. My 17 yr old grandson is living proof of the repercussions.
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6 months at the least
It took me a year. I was single 7 yrs was getting myself right after an ugly break up. Was very picky about dating. Met someone. I waited a whole year before introducing them. I wanted to make sure he was worthy of meeting my daughter. I didn’t want to be one of those who brought multiple men around my child. Hes still here as dad 8 yrs later… It was worth waiting.
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I waited 3 months before my older 2 met my husband. I wanted to be sure that it was serious. 7 years later and they now call him dad and we have 2 more
I think that you should listen to him. Maybe he has family with kids that you can go to an event and meet and see how he treats those kids to get a sense of how he could be with yours. But let him decide when he’s comfortable dont force it on him. Nothing wrong with letting him know how you feel though and having a conversation about it if you haven’t already.
He sounds like a keeper I would respect his wishes
When you are both ready. There is no time frame or limit. It doesnt matter how long you have been together or where the relationship is going. If everyone isnt ready it will be to stressful and strain the relationship. A friendly cookout would be easier for all involved keep it simple and very social for everyone. My current boyfriend met my kids a week after we started dating, we have been together 4 1/2years. No situation is the same. Do what’s right for you.
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Since both your kids and the new guy are important to you and you plan for all of them to be a part of your life, there is no need to rush. Take it slow so you have nothing to regret later. My husband and I waited before his divorce from his ex wife was finalized before I met my step daughter. I wouldn’t change a thing.
I waited 10 months before letting him meet my children and then only as friends. Lol I actually told him dont so much as look at me with googly eyes. We have been married 10 years now and he was the absolute only man my kids ever met.
It would be a long time for me. Sorry I need to know you’re not wasting their time.
Its not wasting time if you both are truly interested in each other. Its respecting a boundary you have set. If he is not willing to wait how ever long you want him to then clearly he is not the one for you.
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I feel PDA In front of the kids would be inappropriate and would most likely confuse them but as you’ve stated as long as y’all arent doing anything like kissing or something in front of them I don’t see a problem with it. Unless you’re not trying to get into a relationship and hes just a fling you’re gonna drop later on, in that case dont introduce them
I say wait it out. After all u were married, things are getting different now. And u say u have know this man for 8 yrs, however, how well do u know him within the time period u were married to ur soon to be ex husband? How much do u know? I mean when u are married were u talking to him the entire time while being married? He obviously is respectful enough to say wait til the divorce is final, however do u really know the full agenda of this man u are interested in? The kids need time to adapt to new change. It would not be right for u just to add extra into their lives right now. Take it slow , see where things really go within ur one on one sessions of dating first. Make sure for awhile that he is the one. He may not be. True colors always come out. Dont let ur kids experience him first and fast without u really getting to know him. I thought I trusted someone, and finally introduced my kids to him after 3 months, but guess what, ppl have hidden agendas. U have to be careful of that. Ur kids come first. How can one jump from one relationship into another real quick? Sounds like u cant bare to be alone and figure things out with urself or with ur kids. Just because he may seem this awesome person, doesnt mean he really is. U see what u want to see because at this point, u are vulnerable. Dont make him be the rebound guy. Wait awhile. I know u want to be with someone, and “be happy” but ur kids come first. Give them time to process that u and their dad arent going to be together. Just because the older ones know about the situation, doesnt mean that they get the whole process. Jumping from one guy to another real quick, makes u look bad. And ur kids are going to resent u for that. They matter too. Give it time. Check this new guy out first. Work on urself as well. Get everything in order and make sure u and ur kids will be ok before introducing them to anyone.
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Yea I’m with him chill for a minute sis ,they dont need another man in they life yet 
give them a chance to deal ,and get to bond with them now tht the negative vibes are gone 
I would say start with talking to your kids about it go as slow as they want to go make sure everyone is comfortable in the equation normally I would say wait a year if this is somebody you already know things are a little different so what is more important is there comfort
Respect his boundaries. I have been on both sides. It really does suck to meet someone’s kiddos and become attached just to break up later and have everyone get hurt.
I would wait until your divorce is finalized or until you’ve been dating for 8 months- a year.
It seems like a long time. However if the relationship lasts it is only a blink of an eye in the long run.
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Also remember that even though YOU are ready to introduce a man to your children that doesn’t mean your children are ready to meet a new man yet.
Kids are only 1 and 3 which is super young. They will not understand or remember a lot of what’s happening. It’s important to ensure anyone you bring into your kids life doesn’t disappear or cause instability. There’s no need to rush. Try balancing casual dating with 2 toddlers for a while before jumping into a whole new relationship and introducing a new father-figure.
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I had to wait at least 6 months
I waited 4 months with my 4 year old and it was very slow after that. Worked out well, been together 12 yrs now and he raised my 4 yr old. No reason to rush if you are planning to be together forever.
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Never! Can’t trust people now a days.
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My boyfriend and I had been seeing each other unofficially for 6 months before he met them. And he had to meet my ex husband first, long story but it was one thing we both required when we started dating.
After that he really was not involved with my kids much up until we had been seeing each other for a little over a year. And he didn’t really get involved heavily until we moved in together.
Honestly, everyone goes at their own pace. Don’t rush it, your kids might not be ready either.
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Definitely wait at least 6 months after your divorce.
Absolutely not until the divorce is final. This man cares enough about you to be patient for your kids or he doesn’t care to meet your kids yet. No matter what it is take your time. It’s not just you this time. No guarantees ever but you need to give the relationship time for it to be the two of you before adding two little ones. Plus it helps your relationship with the ex. It shows respect. You may not care but someday those kids will.
He put the brakes on. Regardless of why, try and respect his boundaries. There are many reasons a man may be hesitant to meet his girlfriend’s children, one of which would be becoming attached to, and loving her children without having the type of relationship he wants with their mother. Now may be a good time to take a step back and not rush through things.
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Never! Blended families are so hard. If I knew then what I know now I would NOT of done it. Run in the other direction
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new guy is thinking long term and wanting to ensure you are actually divorced before getting in too deep, It makes sense to wait until you fully get out of your previous relationship prior to throwing yourself and the kids into another one, Give them some room to breathe, He’s thinking about everyone involved and to me it sounds like you are wanting to grasp on to the very next thing thinking meeting the kids will lock him in place, If you think it’ll work out, you claim to trust him, You’ll have the patience to wait.
I think it’s a little odd. I feel like if he was interested in being with you long term, then meeting your children would be a nonissue 
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Give it a few more months. Don’t rush into anything. If he’s ready to meet them. Set a place and time at a park or a small gathering. See how he interacts with the kids and if things go good from there.
I would wait my boys were 1 and 3 when their dad and i separated and i refused to date or have anyone around my kids for over a year. They are 4 and 6 now and i have been with a guy since march known him for years and he has only met my kids twice in passing. Im okay if we break up i can handle the pain but my babies dont deserve to get attached and then the guy leave. Take it slow.
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Maybe he doesn’t want the relationship you think he wants. Other people would be ready to meet the kids while you’re still married haha. It might be too soon and he doesn’t wanna get as involved
Once your divorce is final
My biggest question is this: if you’ve known him for 8 years, why/how has he never met your children before?
I do agree with the other ladies commenting here that it would probably be best to wait until the divorce is finalized to start incorporating him into the kids lives, at least publicly. I’d keep things on the down low, don’t let anyone know you’re more than friends for a while. Gives the kids a chance to adjust to mom and dad being apart too.
If he’s saying he’s not comfortable with being a part of their lives yet, respect that. Meeting children is a big deal that you BOTH agree when the time is right. For him, it doesn’t feel right.
It’s ok to wait. Let the kids both process the split of their family, they’ll love whoever you love so long as he treats them well
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I’m in the same situation,NEVER rush anyone to meet ur kids,maybe after 3 years of dating…cos u need to be an example especially if u have female children
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I think you should wait. Your children are adjusting and probably grieving the loss of their nuclear family. Let them cope with that before introducing someone else, especially since it’ll be another loss if he is around much then y’all break up.
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My daughter was 10 before she ever met a boyfriend of mine… Wanted to wait two years into a relationship before I introduced her to them…she was ten before anyone made it two years. Her father and I divorced when she was two. However I can say that I am glad I didn’t introduce her to anyone I dated even the ones where I thought it really would work. She is 12 now and we live with my bf of 4 years. I have known him for 20 years but knowing someone and dating them is way different.
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The first thing my Attorney said was , wait to date. So anyway, you can do what’s right for you and your boyfriend. Things get dragged out, so what, I’d say respect his intention to wait.
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If I know someone is separated, I always wait until their divorced. It shows respect for you and your family unit. What if
You decided to take ex back? Then there is less people involved. Maybe you should work on you and your kids being alone for awhile.
Maybe he wants to wait because he isn’t sure this relationship is going to be permanent. It seems as though mom is trying to rush and force the new relationship. Maybe because the ex has moved on and she wants to appear to be moved on also? New guy sounds like he has a clear mind at least. If he isn’t ready to meet them, then don’t do it. If you don’t respect his wishes, then the relationship will be a bust
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Wow, you’re childrens family, home, security and familiarity were all ripped away from them just a mere few months ago and you’re more worried about your own feelings and relationships. That’s amazing.
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Wait on introducing your children to new partners. Kids get attached quickly and your babies are so young(the 3 year old does not understand as much as you think). Honestly I am a single mother of 3 and if a man tells you to wait to introduce your kids please do, as much as you would like to rush it he does not want to and he has made that clear. Its hard being newly single and trying to figure out when the kids should meet the new guy but please wait.
If youve been dating this long and hes still hesitant i think i might back off dating. He may not want to meet kids at all ever. I get waiting for divorce but if that was case maybe he shouldnt have dated you while still technically married.
Your kids are young enough that he can just be a friend of yours and do stuff with you together. Don’t make it romantic in front of the kids. If he’s willing. If he’s not willing that may tell you something.
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