Who is in the right?

I work full time my s/o stays home with our daughter . When I get home he expects me to care for her alone he doesn’t help me during the night ( she’s an infant so I get up every two hours) so when I get up for work I am exhausted he doesn’t help me on weekends either because he “needs a break” I just feel so alone and overwhelmed am I wrong for feeling like when I get home it should be 50/50 ? Like you’ve had a long day and and have I so let’s help each other??

124 Likes

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Who is in the right? - Mamas Uncut

Everyday should be 50/50.

5 Likes

He needs a job if he isn’t gonna help with overnights. Why does he expect you to get no sleep when he’s home with the baby all day. When my man worked I was a sahm and did pretty much everything cause he needed to rest during the day

4 Likes

You’re a single mom with a roommate.
If he can’t do over nights, the bulk of the home, etc then he needs to work.
The working parent should offer help and give a day for the SAH, sure, but the SAH needs to pull their weight.

9 Likes

It’s so funny how when a man is a stay at home mom the working wife still has to be a mother but when the tables are turned and he is the one working he just gets to come home and do nothing . Not fair

21 Likes

As a SAHM, when my husband gets home he gets some time to unwind and relax before I remind him it’s family time until baby is in bed. When she was an infant he tried to help me as often as possible when he got home because while he was physically tired, I was mentally AND emotionally AND physically drained. He saw and knew this and tried his best

5 Likes

Try talking to him and not fb

2 Likes

My guy does the same thing when he gets off of work so I talked to him about it and I asked him to pick a time limit for him to relax after work he suggested two hours so when he gets home from work around 5 o’clock he gets to relax from work for two hours during that time I cook dinner and do the dishes at 7 o’clock on the dotWhatever the baby and I are doing we stop I give my husband the baby and he basically hold onto the baby until the baby goes to bed and we’re doing the Ferber method so the baby lays down to eat the baby cries the baby cries he typically falls asleep within 15 minutes though so I get him all day every day and my husband gets them for one hour and we have six kids so I am extremely exhausted all the time and the baby still wakes up two times during the night sometimes three

2 Likes

Overnights should belong to the person who doesn’t go to work in the morning. If you get up with the baby… You get up with the baby. But I can see him wanting a break when you get home at least until bedtime.

9 Likes

I’m a sahm of 6 I don’t expect my husband to come home from work and take over and I definitely don’t bother him at night unless I really really need him. I do expect him to help alittle bit with dinner and bed time but that’s it.

3 Likes

Well talk to him,if he still don’t get it ,leave. I left my child’s dad like that. Why do I need a father for her,if he is not there at all. I am better on my own.

6 Likes

So when my oldest was born my husband had a more physical job, and I stayed home, he would always get home take our son, and I would have a bath, he would help with dinner, or literally just care for him so I could do something alone, despite him working 12 hours daily…
on weekends I would sleep in, he got up with him…
During night feedings, I tried to do them all, but If I was just way to exhausted he got up, no questions asked. He always said I had it harder being home then he did at work :woman_shrugging:

10 Likes

IM a sahm and I do it all every day with no help no breaks nothing

4 Likes

My daughter is a week old so I’m on leave. My bf works a very physical and hard job, he works long hours too. He comes home and I make sure he has time to relax. He still helps me because he wants to… he’ll keep an eye on her so I can cook and get the other 3 kids ready for bed. I get up with her at night though. He tells me to wake him (he sleeps deeper and doesn’t hear her) but I refuse to because he works all day and needs the rest. On the weekend days he helps with her so I can get a break. And we both team up for the housework as far as laundry, dishes, etc.
There’s no excuse for him to not help you. It’s hard to stay home and it’s also hard to work. He should at least help and let you get some rest since you’re the one working. He’s basically being a babysitter for you to work and as a dad, he should he willing to do more.

6 Likes

If he’s the SAH, he should be taking care of the baby overnight, because he can rest during the day while she sleeps. You can’t rest during the day at work. This should be a no-brainer…:woman_shrugging:t4:

9 Likes

Sometimes the best advice comes from a complete stranger :slightly_smiling_face:

2 Likes

Tell him to get a job and put daughter in daycare if he can’t help.

8 Likes

Makes me wonder if he’s caring for the baby properly during the day :confused:

9 Likes

Every couple needs to negotiate this. You both need to sit down and separately write out what you can do (physically and emotionally) and what you need someone else to do.

The overnight feedings are tough, but temporary. Stay at home parents need breaks, too. Hire a part-time babysitter or housekeeper to do some of the work so both of you can rest.

3 Likes

I’m a sahm to my 5 yr old and 3yr old, my husband has a physical job he’s gone 17 hours a day, it is stressful having to do it all day then do it all night but I also understand my husband works to pay the bills. If I need help I’ll ask him.

4 Likes

He should help but no more than a stay at home Mom is expected to help when Dad comes home. There should be no double standard. You both work, just one of you leaves the home to work.

4 Likes

Tell him you have to work so he will have to help with some night duty or get a job on a different shift of that is how it will be and put baby in daycare. He needs to help one way or another.

1 Like

Oh I’ve been there! Where I worked while my ex stayed home…and he acted similar.
I got to where I HATED him for it. My job was physically demanding. Sometimes I worked three hours and sometimes I worked 14.

I’m a stay at home mom now and have been since 2016.
So…here’s my two cents:
There should be a balance.
When our youngest was an infant…my husband worked overnights. On his nights off the baby was all his.
I tried to schedule his naps around times when I needed to go do stuff so my husband could “keep” him.

When he went back to days he still got up with the baby BUT the way we sleep I’d have to crawl over him to get out of bed. Then I’d be awake for the rest of the night. He on the other hand fell back to sleep easily.
We had a 4 year old with special needs and I couldn’t exist on no sleep.

Now. Kids are 8 and 4.
He gets the oldest off to school every morning.
He gets the youngest off on his days off.
He keeps them entertained while I do housework on his days off.
He cooks and He’ll help with housework on his days off.
With the goal that we can all have some time together.
That we all get the breaks that we need.
Can’t have time together if I’m too busy doing housework…
He doesn’t get home until after they’re in bed. So that’s not really a thing.

I would say to sit down and you both write up a list of everything you do…and everything you think the other does.
Then work together to make the list more even so neither one of you is taking on too much.

1 Like

You shouldnt have to look after your daughter but you should want to :woman_shrugging:t3: both of you should be there for her x

1 Like

He needs to switch to the night routine. Maybe on the first couple wake ups you handle it but you need more than broken sleep for your job. And since he does sah he has more chances to nap if necessary. You nap at work you get written up/fired. You go home you take your I’m home bathroom break change clothes and then give him time off to do whatever he needs. Then you both parent together. No one person should be solely taking all of the parenting when the other parents is present and able. If he doesn’t want to work out a better schedule then maybe he needs to work a job so that things are more fair between the two bc both work.

Yes.everyone knows. Babies sleep during the day!

You should be partners and you should both have responsibilities regarding the baby. Taking turns at night, allowing one or the other to get a real break from their day. I get daycare is expensive but if he’s not helping during the night or on weekends it’s not fair and you are not going to sustain this. Talk to him about this.

Honey, split that shit up. If you work, split the time at home between the two of you. He should be doing more than you being a stay at home parent anyway.

I’ll be honest just cause u have a job does not mean you get to clock out stay at home parent or working parent. Raising a baby is hard no matter what. He shouldn’t have u doing it all on your own like that he doesnt get to clock out of work.

I’m a stay at home parent and when husband gets home he does as he pleases and I get my breaks inbetween. You have ur right to feel that way but he has no right to clock out.

1 Like

I worked one shift and hubby worked different shift and we both helped equally with everything with 3 kids and the household. No excuses for his behavior and you are enabling it by putting up with it.

1 Like

Would you not expect you husband to help if it was flipped? Granted he should be helping during the night.

It took two to make the child so it needs two to raise a child. There is a choice though…he goes to work full time to help with child care and household expenses and it’s 50/50 the rest of the time or stop whining and man up OR……kick rocks 🪨. When do you catch a break :woman_shrugging:t3:

He needs to get a job

1 Like

Staying at home taking care of your child is a full time exhausting job for male or female. Trade places and get back to me.

5 Likes

U stay at home… tell him to get a job… and then u do exactly the same as what he is doing… lazy sod…

4 Likes

Oh FFS, on a SAHM post where the dad works outside the home and mom is burnt out, this group jumps on his back saying he needs to take on more when he gets home, but here it’s all “he should sleep when the baby naps”. Double standard much?
Can we all just acknowledge that kids are freaking hard and our expectations for work and home balance (not to mention quality of home life and cleanliness) are way beyond what’s realistically possible?

11 Likes

I think on your days off, he should get a day where he can relax and do his own thing, and get a sleep in, and so should you, after work, it should be joint, yeah give him a break when you get home, after you’re out of work clothes and have showered, but he should be doing majority of the nights, unless the kids are really playing up, and he needs help.

If he’s like that now & she’s just a new born :triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post: if it’s too much for him now it’ll be too much always. Don’t let your baby see that because it becomes a normal routine because that was me my son is 3 1/2 & his dad was always like that I went to work & he walked out because it was too much so yea think about it. Now its just my son & I so much better. I had to STOP THAT CYCLE Best of luck to you & your baby

1 Like

50/50 or he goes to work too

4 Likes

Should be 50/50. You have a job all day, he has a job all day. His job during the day is the baby and the house. When you come home, you need to help him with the house and the baby. Overnight he should get up one night and you up the next.

13 Likes

Both need to work and take care of home.

2 Likes

As a sahm I took nights. Unless the Mr didn’t work the next day, then I expected help.
But when he was home after work, til bedtime, bet your butt he was made to help. As it was his baby to lol
But I let him sleep on work nights most of the time. Cuz he needed to be rested for work…I could sleep when baby slept during the day if I needed.
Altho occasionally I’d elbow dad to get up, just cuz I was just TO tired…even on a work night.
But ya…working doesn’t excuse you from being a parent but being a sahm doesn’t mean you get “you time” the minute they get in the door either lol
I’m still a sahm…my me time is at night when kiddo is sleeping…or every once in a while when my Mr takes my son out for the day to give me quiet time…or I go out without them…but it’s not daily.
What parent gets DAILY time to themselves while kids are awake!?!lol (and I’m not talking while you working lol) working or not kids are 24/7🤷

I stay home and my s/o works. When he gets home I have dinner ready (most of the time), we eat as a family. Then he watched the little one while I do dishes and my oldest clears the table. Then we all spend time as a family. We all do nighttime clean up (pick up living room, get waters ready, brush teeth, etc.) together. We put the oldest to bed, then he puts our middle one to bed and I get our little one down (breastfed and cosleep). He takes the oldest two to school in the morning. We work together, like you and your s/o should do, in my opinion. He doesn’t get to check out when you get home. You both work (you outside the home and him inside the home), so it should be a team effort when you are both home. Sit down and talk it out. Figure out a system that works for both of you. Like he gets “a break” one night a week and you get “a break” one night a week. The rest you both do things together. You both need time to relax.

3 Likes

I feel like if the genders in this situation were switched a lot of these ladies would be down the guys throat for saying what you said. He takes care of your child all day while you’re at work your take care of the baby when you’re home. That is 50/50. In my opinion yes you are wrong.

10 Likes

Relationships aren’t 50/50. Some days they will be 80/20… other days they will be 65/45. . It’s about compromise. Both of you need to work out a schedule that works with both of you on shared household responsibilities. She both yalls daughter therefore she both of yall responsibilities.

3 Likes

Take the child to day care and make him go find a job…his a bumb.

6 Likes

I’ve done both, stay at home and work, but he definitely still has to help at night. I’m not going to lie staying at home is a job in itself, but that just means you both worked and should go in the care at night together and as a team. You should definitely not be dealing with weekends alone, maybe a couple hours of alone time for him, but not him just refusing to help all together. A relationship is always a balance, regardless of who works outside the house. You have to help each other to survive and it’s definitely not fair for one to be doing everything by yourself. If he gets a break, you get a break.

5 Likes

If the roles were switched and you were a SAHM he would expect you to do it all cause he works. I feel like if he’s a stay at home dad he should be getting up in the night with the baby most of the time because he doesn’t have to wake up early to go to work! Explain to him that you’re exhausted and need a break too! Waking up and going to work then coming home and doing your household chores, AND taking care of the baby at the end of the day and all night is a lot for someone who HAS someone else to help out. Tell him you might as well be a single parent.

5 Likes

Been through this very same situation! I am sorry Tate dealing with this

He does all the baby work while you’re not home ! As a stay at home mom I asked my husband at the time to give our daughter a bath in the evenings after he got home and change her , feed her and sit with her before he went to work because I needed a little rest and it gave them time to bond . Weekends were a little different as we often traveled to my parents for dinner on Sundays. You are wanting to do typically what a man does and that’s leave a woman to do all the work !!woman have children for life men sadly can come and go

5 Likes

Been on both sides of the coin and either which side u feel burnt out !!!he sees it as u get out u get to see people where hes stuck at home in reality u are both burnt out both tired and wanting a break set up a roster of how to lighten the load off each other till u have done both sides its hard to see it from each other’s point or view

1 Like

i have this same problem except im the one who stays home and hes the one who works. im 100% the caretaker for our 4 children and the house and its exhausting. id give anything for a little help!

1 Like

I feel like I hear this so often - so many men who think primary care for the child falls on the woman. Saying they need a break and never thinking about her having a break. This makes me not want kids.

1 Like

Ugh. If he doesn’t work, he is supposed to do at least 70% of the childcare and housework. Just throw in the towel on the stay at home dad mess. He ain’t it. Get a sitter and make him work.

5 Likes

Both need to help each other. I’m a SAHM but run a daycare our of my home. When hubby gets home from work he typically cooks dinner, I do our kiddos baths after supper. He puts one baby to bed while I do the other. We then have our own free time in the evening to either sit down together and watch a movie or he plays video games and I watch a tv show. I get up throughout the night with our babies but he’s normally the one up in the morning with them on weekends so I can sleep in. It’s a team effort.

8 Likes

I read all of the posts about stay at home parents. Everybody complains about this 50/50 crap. I’m 51 years old. I put my career on hold to be a stay at home mom. My husband worked his ass off to support this family. We had two kids. (Adults now) My job was anything to do with the household. The kids. The cleaning. The cooking. The laundry. Groceries etc. His job was to financially support the family. And any outside work, lawn garbage etc Dinner was cooking or ready when he got out of work. Yes, he helped here and there. But if your at home it’s your responsibility. Now a days all I hear is complaining about what the working partner doesn’t do. Younger couples must be built different than my generation and before me. We did it all with grace! Toughen up.

1 Like

This is my life. I 100% understand how you’re feeling. I am sorry you are dealing with this . It’s exhausting and draining. We’re supposed to be in it together, but all it seems like is they care about their self and not us. :heart:

1 Like

He should be helping when u get home & through the nite. He can take a nap anytime she’s sleeping you can’t.

3 Likes

Haha, parenting isn’t 9-5. Should be equal partnership. He is not a babysitter, he cannot just click out at 5 Monday through Friday and have weekends off.
You both deserve some rest. Take shifts at night. Or switch nights back and forth.

6 Likes

I stay home while my SO works. When he gets home he gets a few minutes to decompress (changes clothes, smokes whatever) alot of time he cooks bc he likes to. I get my middle child in and out of bath and ready for bed and I bath our baby, but he takes her and dresses her and makes her a bottle. We take turns cleaning up depending on our day and we play together as a family or watch a movie etc. He also helps pick up whatever slack around the house. My oldest kids have a few chores each ( simple stuff but it helps) then I get kids to brush teeth while he takes care of baby and get them in bed. Then I get baby to bed. He wakes up early and gets my oldest up and going for school while I get a few extra minutes of sleep before baby wakes and I say goodbye to my oldest! It’s a team effort and if it’s not working for you in your home then change it.

6 Likes

As soon as my husband gets home from work, I give him a minute to take care of himself, but typically he takes over and gives me a break. When I get home from work, I automatically take over and give him a break. I’m assuming you’ve not been a stay at home mom where you realize that working IS a break. Unfortunately it’s tough and should be 50/50. No one is in the wrong, it’s just something you have to over come. However, I do feel you should be getting sleep since you do get up early and go to work. You women need to be more assertive, seriously. If there’s an issue with my husband or myself we sure as hell gonna say it.

5 Likes

I was a stahm and he always helped the second he walked in. Now I work and the second I walk in I help. Team effort is everything

3 Likes

To those saying that working is a break really isn’t necessary…
I am a single mom of an almost 6 year old and a 5 month old… I do everything on my own from getting up early to sort out the babies bag, getting my oldest ready for school, sorting myself out, dropping baby at day care, oldest at school, then I go to work which consists of me doing admin for 3 different farms including payrol etc, then coming home and fetching the kids, making supper inbetween bathing the kids, breastfeeding the baby and getting my oldest down at 8pm to sleep and getting baby to sleep and waking up every 2hrs for his feed… Just to start the routine all over again the next day…
When you have a partner you want there to be a partnership…
Being a mom is hard enough

11 Likes

You’re exactly right…

Nopeeeeee. That house better be clean and the child better be cared for if he isn’t working. If the roles were switched he’d expect that from you…

7 Likes

If he doesn’t work he should be doing the feedings at night or he does one and then you do one take turns. Why is he home anyway he needs to be a man and work.

8 Likes

He should be helping during the night, i would wake up with the baby at night because my husband worked early in the morning but after work, hell take care of the baby for me to cook and relax for a few. Now, they both go to school, he takes care of one and i take care of one.

I’m gonna tell you the same thing I would tell a mom on here talking about her husband works and she stays home… when your work day ends, you’re not off the hook. You still have parenting responsibilities at home. You’re at work all day, but so is he (unless he does nothing but keep the baby alive all day). If you’re working all day, he should be keeping up with the household chores as well as tending to the baby… cooking, cleaning, laundry etc. When you get home, you should both be sharing evening responsibilities.

I will give you this though, if you’re the only one working and your child is waking up in the middle of the night, that should be him getting up, not you. Weekends should be shared, because if you’re going to work all day, parent all evening and weekend, where is your “break”?

Sit him down and talk to him. Either evening/weekend responsibilities get shared, or he gets a job, she goes into daycare and then everyone is exhausted from working full time and parenting full time. Stand your ground, because if you don’t, you’re gonna continue being a single mom… which is what you are by working all day while you have a sitter look after your child, then come home to do everything on your own in the evenings and weekends.

10 Likes

Just because you work full time job doesn’t mean you shouldn’t contribute to caring for your child and contributing to things around the house. Same goes for staying home with the child full time. Staying home with a child full time is just as exhaustingly working outside of the home. I work full time at home and with Covid, my sons been home with me while I work about 90% of the time. I am exhausted from juggling my son and my job all day, and my fiancé is just as exhausted from working outside the home all day. It’s all about teamwork! Recognize when your spouse needs a break in the evenings or weekends and pick up the slack in those moments. We often find that when dad gets home it helps me decompress tremendously if dad does bed and bath time or something as simple as folding a basket of laundry or cleaning up the dinner mess. And the days that we’re both home, we split the responsibility 50/50, whether that means dad does the cleaning while I manage our kiddo, and one of us does nap time while the other does bedtime. It keeps us both feeling accountable, responsible, gives us each a moment to recharge and builds our relationship so much stronger because we know we can rely on each other to help push through life’s chaos.

1 Like

He’s right he doesn’t need a break…

But he should be helping more when your home

When our youngest was an infant I was a sahm. Husband worked Monday through Friday. I would get up with baby Sunday night through Thursday night so he could get a good night sleep. He would get up with baby Friday and Saturday nights so I could get some rest as well. When he got home from work we worked together on everything from cooking, cleaning and caring for not only the baby but the 3 older kids as well. It’s all about working together. I didn’t read through all comments but there’s one above that says people are saying work is a break. No work is not a break. You are still going. Whether with the baby or not you still have tasks. A break would be not having any responsibilities for a said amount of time. Just the same as in our home going to the grocery store is not a “break” as we have a task to do. Kids or not that’s not free time.

3 Likes

lolllllll if the roles were reversed you’d expect to get the weekend off and make your husband care of your kid even if he had went to work the rest of the week.
I love how the man is always wrong and doesn’t do enough in everyones eyes these days.

10 Likes

He definitely should be helping! I understand where you are coming from my S.O works 6a-2p and M-F I was working 11-7 and had to switch working Saturday 7am until Sunday 11pm (block shift) and when he gets home he cooks dinner and then usually falls asleep for the night. He doesn’t help when he gets home, if they wake up throughout the night or won’t go to bed he doesn’t even get up to help. Even on Friday nights when I try to lay down early to sleep for work they are up screaming in there room and he doesn’t get up to check on them. The only time he takes care of them is when I’m at work if he’s not working OT. I also do all the cleaning dishes laundry ect. He refuses to clean on his days off

As a SAHM you should be doing everything 50/50 when you’re both home. He does need breaks though. It’s hard staying home with your kid full time. The only thing we don’t split here is the nighttime stuff because my husband does have to be able to be alert at work. Our son is a toddler though so we don’t really have to do anything in the middle of the night anyways.

1 Like

Just about every dude will do this. It’s a man thing to always try to get by with minimum effort. Whenever mom is home, they think mom should do it all.

Harsh truth of (most) Men

They don’t care if your happy or sad or miserable. They just care about doing the minimum amount of effort required to keep you.

Its up to you to set the standard of what you will and won’t tolerate.

9 Likes

Wow your S/O is really selfish. You work all day and then go to work in the morning. No ma’am he need to go his job and get up at night to take care of baby. Yes when you get home it’s 50/50. I get that but he don’t work most of the job is his dutie. Have been on both ends and ever would I ask my husband to get up at night while I stay home. Selfish and you could let him know. His chose to be home

2 Likes

It’s suppose to be 50/50…he should be helping with something if he isn’t working…I would express how you need help and of things didn’t change I would split…Have a talk with him did you both agree to have a child? If so then he needs to step in if can’t I would kick to the curb…I would express maybe he get a job too… if things couldn’t change then you don’t need to be together til he could pull his weight

I see from both perspectives as a stay at home mum now and previously a working mum.
Staying at home with kids is 100% harder than going to work for me personally, there is no brain shut off time at all day or night. But with that said working is equally tiring and coming home and pulling a second job which is more demanding than your day job is not fair.
I think you both need to sit down write down expectations and work out a plan of how to live forward so you both get some downtime and you both feel valued. Your both working hard and both need time to recoup but in order for that to happen need to work together x

10 Likes

He’s being a “princess”… like B**ch… the majority of us who are stay at home partners don’t demand such a break… wow it’s called a partnership which means work together.

2 Likes

You work and he sits on his ass? Then you get home and he needs a break? Where is your break?

Yes if your both home at night you should take turns getting up with an infant
My husband always helped me cause our girls were up alot of nights with ear infections
His help was surely appreciated. Its to hard today to work all day and care for an infant by yourself

2 Likes

I work six days a week and I’m still expected to come home cook, clean, and do homework with kids. It gets extremely frustrating. My s.o. Is on disability. When I was on third shift I had to rush home get my daughter up get her ready for school take her to school because that was his “nap” time. I averaged about four hours a day of sleep. They should help I just don’t get why they don’t

4 Likes

Its never equal. Women are just the ones who do 80% of the childcare apparently, we know some MAN decided this. :roll_eyes: Not fair you are doing the night feeds. You better talk to him about that. Your job is a very important part of your family structure and can’t be jeopardised.

1 Like

Agree 50 /50 after work !

1 Like

You think God sent you this bum? He was a LESSON, you learned it and now time to move on to your BLESSING.

7 Likes

Taking care of the kids should always be 50/50. Your job is outside of the home, his is inside the home – just know if YOU have never been the one to stay at home, it is exhausting. It’s lonely. It’s unpaid, hard work that rarely is recognized by one’s partner. Talk your husband. Let him know how much you appreciate what he does, but just because moms home doesn’t mean he gets to stop being dad. I always did the nights if I didn’t have to physically be at a job the next morning to let my husband sleep, but when I went back to work he had to help me. No one person should be run ragged.

5 Likes

But that’s what women expect from men when they get home from work?

10 Likes

That wouldn’t roll with me, you need to put your foot down, it all comes down to how much you allow, my daughter’s father worked full time and he would still get home and take care of her, diaper changes, night feeds we would take turns, washing the dishes, etc.

1 Like

The way I view it is that during the day you’re both working. When you come home he should get a break and then you both split parenting responsibilities because you’re both ‘off work’ if that makes sense

5 Likes

Welcome to a moms life. I had twins and managed

1 Like

If the roles were reversed and he worked a full time job and you stayed home with the baby then you would be getting up during the night. I think you should express to him how youre feeling. Make a compromise. He gets up with the baby when your work the next day, you get up with the baby on the weekend and let him sleep. It should also be 50/50 during the evenings when your get home from work. He cannot exoect you to do everything…work, taje care of the house, baby, and get up during the night. Thats ridiculous! You have to out your foot down for your own mental health. He should understand.

Sorry to ask but why is he not working?

1 Like

Sorry but i don’t see the point of being with him your basically a single mom at this point i would tell him im doing it all on my own wtf are you even here for?that would make me sick to my stomach

2 Likes

Well. Take care of the problem.

There are arguments about it. You both made a child, you both should care for said child. She is a human, not a chore. If he can’t handle it, walk away. No decent parent would rver expect the other parent to do everything.

Give him a couple hours of uninterrupted alone time when you get home and then you both watch the baby. Moms do get the ugly end of the stick with waking up at night. Maybe see if you can have a bottle made and ask him to do one night feeding. It sucks being the working one to come home to that but it also sucks being the parent at home all day and then not getting a break when the other comes home. Embrace the suck together

Parenting is team work

My X pulled the same crap with me i worked full time and she still expected me to get up at night when I had to work in the morning. That’s part of the reason she is my X

I’d be happy to spend the time with my child after work. When else are you going to bond? Youd be better staying home and bonding with your baby. I can’t be doing with mothers that put there baby into full time care for there career. (Not saying that is you just stating a point)

3 Likes