Who should throw baby showers?

Is it sort of an unspoken rule that your mother throws your baby shower? The reason I’m asking is that I’m expecting my first hold, and when I told my sister-in-law, she said she’d love to throw my shower but didn’t wanna step on anyone’s toes. After telling my mom what my SIL said, my mom became extremely upset and said it’s the mother’s place to throw it, and my SIL should know that. I wanted to know if there was some unspoken rule I’m not aware of. Thanks in advance for the responses!


I think actually, etiquette-wise, it’s supposed to be someone not in your immediate family. So not your mom or your sister(s), if you have them. Most people don’t really pay attention to that anymore, but there’s definitely no unspoken rule that it should be your mom.

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Who should throw baby showers?

I threw my own baby shower. I was unaware of this rule.


They can throw it together and help eachother


Mom needs to get over it


No rule. Maybe tradition somewhere ?

My sister’s did mine. It can be anyone. You can even do your own.

I threw my sisters baby shower twice. Once with her son and once with her daughter. I feel like. Mom and sister in law can come together and make it awesome


I never heard of the rule. :woman_shrugging:


I’ve never heard of that personally. My sister did both of mine.

I’m throwing my own. Idk how these “traditions” came about. If I waited on family and friends I’d never have anything


My mom didn’t do either one of mine.
My aunt did my first
My best friend did my second.
There are 7 years between my babies, so I had 2.

They need to speak to each other about this. If you aren’t throwing it, not your problem.

No rule to it that ive ever heard.

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That’s ridiculous to say it’s on the mother . Whoever wants to have it.
Should have it :woman_shrugging:

Friends supposed to throw baby shower


No rule as far as I know. Maybe a certain cultural tradition?

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They can throw it together. No reason to get upset. It’s about you and the baby


Oh, uh, I’ve had baby showers thrown by my aunt and my brother and his wife! :woman_shrugging:t2::blue_heart:

I threw my baby sisters baby shower.

I’ve never heard of it being the mother’s thing. I thought it was more sister/bestie thing


Why can’t they do it together


I had to throw my own or I wasn’t getting one🤷‍♀️

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I never heard of the mother throwing a shower


My mom and sisters have done all of mine, but not because of a rule.


Definitely never heard of that.
My husband’s aunt threw both of mine

My bestie threw mine

My aunt threw one of mine and than a cousin did my second one lol no rule

I don’t see why your mom and SIL can’t work together to throw you a baby shower. It might actually be easier if two people were working together on getting everything planned and put in place.


I threw my first baby shower

My boyfriend did my baby shower and he did as a surprise

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I have never heard that before. I’ve had a baby shower thrown by friends and my sister

My SIL wasn’t involved in planning mine. My friends didn’t mine. Whoever wants to do one does it

I threw my own baby shower

In my family we only get baby showers for the first baby, which is stupid since my kids will be 10 years apart and I lived in another state with my first so I didn’t get much of a shower.
My sister, niece and I are doing my baby shower this time.

Let your mom throw your baby shower. Sis n law can help…but that is your momma!

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My aunts done both of mine…

I had three babies and my first my best friend threw it and my last my coworkers threw it

There is no rule that a mother has to be the one to have the shower. It’s whoever would like to volunteer to do it. Heck, some parents throw their own shower. They need to get their differences worked out, come together and throw you a fantastic shower. This should be special for you!


I was taught that it was not proper for family to host showers, wedding or baby!

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I really think anyone who lives you should be able to put h in. One would think mom would appreciate the help SIL is offering 🤷

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I don’t think it is a rule, but your mom pry is excited and honored to do it. I’m sure it took her by surprise and maybe she was just upset.

There is not spoken rule on who throws the shower. My aunts hosted my shower. Why can’t your mom be an adult and say that her and the SIL can co-host your shower?

I don’t see why they don’t do it together? Less stress on the both of them. It’s obviously two people that love you and your soon to be born child so it makes sense for them to come together for this. I had to do my own.

I’m not sure of a rule. My mom passed away before my kids were born and I didn’t have a shower for my first 2. For my third, I threw my own shower. My nieces best friend threw hers so I’m not sure of a rule.

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Whoever wants to do it🤷


It’s whoever wants to throw u one. My bff at the time threw mine. Mom shouldn’t be upset but grateful that someone else loves u enough to make sure u and baby have what u need.


I don’t think it matters just let everyone communicate and team work makes the dream work


Also was taught that mother shouldn’t host the baby showers.m.


My husband threw mine

Umm to be honest,i have never heard of that b4. My Mom did host my 1st baby shower. But i never knew it was a rule 🤷

I was always under the impression that arranging your own was tacky and your friends/family were supposed to arrange together the baby shower. I’ve never had a baby shower so IDK. I have 6 living 1 angel 35w6d

That sounds like a silly thing for her to be mad at . Why can’t they plan it together ? Lol that’s very sweet that your sister in law even offered


I had two baby showers and my mom threw both of them for me

Always knew the mom hosting unless not around. Others can co host. My mother did mine & I did all 3 of my daughters. If someone offered help I wouldn’t turn them down

Depends on the family! My mother in law thru my first sons an my sister in law thru my second sons shower… never heard of any rules as long as the whole family can come together an be there to celebrate

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Have 2 showers one with family one with friends…

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It’s whoever wants to do it.

Whoever wants to throw the shower there’s no specific rule on who does it

It’s really up to you. My mom, best friend and I did my first. My bestie and I did my second with help from my mom and MIL. I’ve done all three of my sister in laws and asked for help from the grandmas so they would feel involved. It’s just as specials for the moms I think when their baby has a baby. I would ask them to do it together

I think it’s whoever wants to do it

I personally didn’t want one. Definitely heard about how it was tradition and all of that. I believe it should be up to the one pregnant as to who they would want to throw it

I threw my own :woman_shrugging:t3: figured why make other people throw me a shower when I’m the pregnant one.


Can your mom throw 1 for her side & SIL throw it for bubby’s side? I don’t think there’s a rule for who throws it.

We never even had a baby shower. We didn’t have a bridal shower either. They aren’t required.

If they don’t wanna come together and do one, then they can always do 2… One for each…

Have both of them do it .

Whoever wants to honestly. Your lucky you have people who want to. I had to throw my own baby shower with my first.

Anyone can throw you a baby shower. Have multiple baby showers if you want.

They should work together it’s for the same baby, love from each side can take part. :blue_heart:

No rule. My bestie did mine, I did hers. We both welcomed extra help from others if they wanted to be involved. Why can’t they work together?
I did my sister in laws for our side of the family and her mom did one out East for their side of the family!

Nothing should be assumed if you have a really close relationship with your mother out of respect if she wants to throw it let her throw it or at least have first dibs if your mom doesn’t mind then your best friend could throw a or your husband could throw it anybody could throw it technically it should be a surprise.

My mom and sister threw my 1st bby shower I personally arranged my second my sis did help me host everything

I never heard it was up to the mother. I know people who had friends, mother in law and other family members throw them a baby shower. Does your mom and sister in law get along? If they get along maybe they could plan it together and help each other out. I think when you have family that gets along things could really work out and of course the shower could really be a nice event that everyone will enjoy.


Its something we as mothers hope to do for our children when the time comes . Why would you want to take that away from her ?

My sister always threw mine. :woman_shrugging:t3:

I had friends and a cousin do mine. From etiquette stand standpoint they say moms and the honoree shouldn’t throw the shower. I say whoever wants to can, the more help the better.


My coworkers threw my baby showers for all my kids because I have no family and wasn’t gonna have one so they surprised me. There is no rule

I threw my first with my mom. I didn’t have one with my second and then with my third my sister in law threw one for me at my moms house. I don’t think it matters lol

As the mother of an only girl child…I’m looking forward to being a big part of that bc I dont have other children…

Whoever wants to. I planned most of my last one! I paid for the place and all the games and stuff and one of my friends covered food!

In my experience, mom kinda spearheads the whole process but generally involves the bffs and sisters or other close family members to help

No lol. Maybe suggest they team up and throw it together! My mum threw one of mine and my best friend threw my other! There is no rule. It’s just whoever wants to or you want to lol

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My sister in law threw mine

My bestie threw mine. :woman_shrugging:

My sister in law threw both of mine.

I threw my first one on my own and my mil is throwing me this one coming up, never heard of an unspoken rule about that, my mom never got upset either.

Why can’t they do it together?

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Why can’t they both do one, separately.

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Why cant they work together and make one baby shower or each do their own separate baby shower for you

Our aunt’s (mom’s sisters always threw ours)

Why dont they plan it together? They both want the same outcome & like that no one gets pissed off :see_no_evil:

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Um my sil threw mine my mom helped but my sister in law threw it

I’ve always thought the baby shower (or bridal shower) should be given by a friend, sister, cousin, or aunt! Never the Mother or Mother-In-law!

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My in-laws threw me one

Whoever wants to throw you one can throw you one - you don’t have to have only one. Just don’t throw your own :woman_shrugging:t4:


Literally, my sister did mine.

I had two myself. My best friends threw me one at my house in east texas and the other at my friends house in Dallas so my family could attend. My mother was deceased but my aunt attended. I dont think it matters who throws it for you. Or how many you have if time/date/distance are a factor

I didmt have one but I always thought they were group efforts of everyone including mom-to-be.