My mom didn’t throw my baby shower or attend. She doesn’t see my kids either. So if they both wanna throw a shower maybe have 2 lol
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If that’s the case my mother has never decided to throw one until I found out I was pregnant with a girl.
I always thought sister or bestie but in your case, your mother might be upset because maybe she mentioned it to someone or maybe a sister had a child and mom did her’s so maybe she is thinking you should already know that she was gunna do it. But I suggest that you talk to the SIL and let your mother do it because I would think that your mother would take great pride in this if she is already upset about it. It’s really up to you to decide but best luck to you and the family and congratulations
My sister, mom and sister in law all together did mine
I threw my own cause I like to be in control of stuff like that lol😂 so I guess it don’t matter really but if I was you I’d let your Mother throw you one before your SIL cause I’m sure that’s something special to your mom! & I’ve heard of people having more than 1 baby shower so it wouldn’t be strange for them both to do something separate for you!
We live 4500 miles away but I grew up with the church ladies throwing them. I also had one at work both times. My family just mailed gifts. I throw them at our church and have only had one mom who got involved. I wish there was a rule, I could use the help for sure.
Why can’t they work together to do it?
I threw one for my sister in law. I don’t think it’s the mother’s place at all. Showers are usually better when organized by more than 1 person
My SIL put together a last minute shower for me, when my friend backed out the month of. 
My mom and sister in law threw mine together.
My son has his 1st baby on the way. Myself and his GF sister are working together to throw her shower. I didn’t mind and also helps both families get acquainted before baby arrives. The gender of the baby was given to me and I called her sister live before I opened the envelope. I always try to include her family also.
No my sister threw mine
If your sil has already offered and said she didn’t want to step on anyone’s toes, and your mum is so upset…I’d let your mum do it. Your sil has been lovely offering, making sure you have a beautiful shower, but I’m sure she’ll understand.
I would suggest to mum they could do it together, or maybe give sil some specific jobs to do.
My brother and SIL threw mine.
A church congregation threw mine
But my moms not a planner and not in to girlie things.
Anyone who wants too. I’m throwing mine with my best friends
Let them do it together.Its a one time celebration for you and the baby
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My sisters threw my first and my 2 best friends threw my 2nd.
I’ve never heard if specific person throwing it, it was whomever wanted to
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Why can’t they work together to throw you a shower?
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No one threw me a baby shower 
and a lot of my friends threw their own
Uh, anyone that wants to. Typically family or close friends.
Honestly, I’ve not heard that it was anyone’s role to throw it. But, if your mom is hurt, it means she has been looking forward to it. Maybe she and your SIL can work together. Many hands make light work.
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My sister in law organized most of it, with what I wanted (colours etc) it turned out great, we did cold foods and drinks, it was simple but very nice
Why can’t they work together the more the merrier x
I think it’s kind of something a mom looks forward to. So you should let her throw it because she has probably been looking forward to doing so since you were little
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My first baby my friends had one and my mil did a separate one. Second child they did it together
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No one threw me one but most people I know personally have friends throw them. You suggest they both work together to throw yours.
Its whoever wants to i personally threw my own
My mom threw my first and my best friend threw the second one
I don’t think I know a single person who’s shower was thrown by their mom lol
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Guess I always thought it was a family member or generally a best friend. Never ever heard mother.
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Gosh…
I didn’t know the ‘Mother’ idea…I have 11 grandchildren and (thankfully).it seemed to be one of the besties who organised the festivities!!!
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Why can’t they do it together?
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My MIL and my mother both got together and threw me one. Maybe have your mom and SIL get together and throw you one?
Why not have both in separate household 
My s.i.l throw my baby shower for my son since my family lives in another state… No one throw one for my daughter
.
My sister, sister in law and mom all planned mine.
My mom and MIL did it together. Maybe they could do that.
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Anyone. A friend. A family member. The dad. You. It doesn’t really matter
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I didnt get a chance to have a baby shower with my first but I threw myself one when I was pregnant with my second.
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Why would expect your mom to do it. Anyone can do it
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It’s your child. Do whatever you want. It’s so hard trying to please others.
My mom threw mine and I threw one for each of my kids when they were expecting their first baby.
It’s the baby’s god mother’s place todo it well atleast where I live it is x
Whoever wants to. Why can’t they both do it together .
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It is not any sort of rule that I’ve ever heard of.
And I’m 65 and had 5 kids…
No it is not the mother’s place. I have 4 kids and had 2 showers. One for my oldest that was thrown by my sister in law. And one for my youngest which was thrown by a good friend from church. Your mom and SIL should compromise and throw one together. Teamwork
My sister did 2 of them…my teachers in highschool threw me one…and some co workers threw one. I have 5 …had 2 baby showers for my oldest…one for my 3rd and 5th…#2 and #4 i didnt get one
I’m having 3 different baby showers. There’s no one saying there can only be one. That way no one’s feelings will be hurt and I am probably going to get everything I need. I feel lucky that I have so much family that is excited for our first born to well… be born! 
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Have them do it together
Anyone can, in my opinion
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Why don’t they throw it together? I mean…the more the merrier
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Does it really matter as long as you have one
My friends and my mom planned mine
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I don’t think so, honestly I’ve heard of whoever you want.
Your mother just wants to start a fire
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I thought your maid of honour was supposed to, or the god parent. But I threw my own, and I had two in two different cities 
There’s no rule on who can throw it. I’m sure a lot of people want to celebrate and they don’t care who’s house it’s at.
My sisters and mom and inlaws and sister inlaws came together for me. Lucky for me they all greed on how they did it and there was no fighting and no one was upset with anyone. Maybe they can do the same?. And idk why your mom got mad bc obviously she cared enough to put her feelings out there and said she dont want to over step. So its not like your sis inlaw was being rude. I think she just wanted to make it known that she wanted to be involved somehow.
My mom threw my first one and my mother in law threw my 2nd one 
No rules, do what makes YOU happy it’s your shower!!!
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But idk that there’s a rule to it. Can’t they do it together?
Oh my gosh now days up here in Louisville it seems like girls are having 3 or 4 baby shower one from work one from friend one from his side if the family and the one from her side. It gets to be to much
My sister planned it with my first. I didn’t have one the next time, between covid and pretty much having everything, although I had a few people ask
I always did my own and who ever wanted to help I was happy to have them help.
It can be whoever you want to throw the shower
4 kids and I never had one. I thought anyone could throw a babyshower
I never heard if that before being the Mothers thing. I always thought it was close friends
My sister through mine
I’m sorry but your mom is being dramatic. The only rule is that you’re not supposed to throw your own shower. Someone, anyone else is supposed to throw you one but I believe nowadays even that isn’t being followed
It was also my understanding that typically you only have a baby shower for your first but that one is ify
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I think anyone can throw one. I planned and threw both of mine. But with my 1st my mother in law threw me a surprise shower as well
The only “rule” is you don’t throw your own shower.
Many times, the mom to be (MTB) sister, or mother throws one, as well as another thrown by a member of the father to be (FTB) family by his sister, mother, etc.
Also, a best friend may throw one as well as a coworker at work.
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I have never heard this rule lol
If your mother wants to plan it let her have at it! Tell your SIL that your mom is planning & to contact her if she wants to help.
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Yes back our day they talked about you ,yes if family gave you a shower any friends were supposed too and I had one with my 1 st a friend host but all I had attend was few family.members
My ex’s mom threw me a baby shower. My mom said she would come and never showed
I think tradition in showers is mother, grandmothers, and aunts/aunts to be. I think personally it should be anyone that cares and/or loves you and/or your family.
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I had a friend throw me my first one . I threw my own 5 years later for my second
Its not just set to mother.
I’ve never heard of anyone in particular that was supposed to throw a baby shower. My sister did mine and her daughter’s (my niece) together because we were pregnant at the same time. Sounds like Mom just wants to cause drama. If Mom wants to throw it, let her.
Family member or friend of mom
Why can’t they work together? My mom and my daughter other grandma planned mine together🤷🏼♀️
I was only ever told I couldn’t plan it myself lol
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I threw my best friend’s and sisters no mother’s objected
Ive always thrown my own baby showers. Didnt have much family to do it.
My best friends threw mine. And my step mom through my other one I’ve never heard of this it HAS to be the mom etc.
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Whoever wants to throw it, throws it. Usually everyone works together on it (family, friends etc) I had nothing to do with any 3 of my showers. My mom did my first two, and my mil, her sisters, my mom etc
The moms and sisters are throwing my grandbaby’s shower
No rules ,but a teachable moment, let them do it together and use their personal touch in various ways. It’s about the baby not the drama.
Why cant they do it together? Seems like a great opportunity for them to bond. Im lost on this though. 2 kids but no one ever threw me a shower.
My sister did both of mine ( my mother passed away ) she also made sure to include the other side of the family and they were super happy to help. sooooo mom is being a bit selfish and sis in law wants to help I hope your mama comes around and does what’s best for everyone 
It is NOT the mother’s place to throw a baby shower. I realize this bday be a tradition in your family… It’s just what you know.
And your mom should not be so offended. What would it hurt for her to team up with someone who seems excited to love your children and utilize their talents. Even if it is the tradition… Nobody wants to have tea and pink cakes with grandma. They like shit that throws pink glitter.
They can all do it! My mom my exs mom and my aunt did mine everyone helped even my dad
I was unable to have one, but I was planning it myself
My mom and cousin did both of mine but I’ve never heard that rule
Old rules:
“Strict rules like “female guests only,” “the parent-to-be or their immediate family can’t host the shower” and “you shouldn’t have a shower for any baby after your first” were largely indisputable 60 to 80 years ago.Jan 26, 2021”
New rules:
“Most baby showers should be hosted by a sister, mother, mother-in-law, or close friend. Baby showers were traditionally thrown by family members who weren’t close with the parents-to-be, to avoid the assumption that close family members wanted to collect gifts for themselves.May 12, 2021”
For you:
You can have them plan a shower together. If they clash, have each plan a shower on a different day with different guests (mom’s side, dad’s side, close family vs. more distant family and friends, family vs non-family, older vs younger people, or just divide the people by who can come on which date but might be awkward unless you call in advance if sending out invitations). Or jointly host both, but with each woman taking the lead in one.
You can make them both “check the registry” or theme them: outfitting the nursery (crib, blankets, sheets, diapers—a pack of cloth ones comes in handy for tons of uses, night lights, baby monitor, etc) vs supplying everything else (bottles, baby dishes & spoons, high chair, rocker/swing/bouncer, car seat, splat mat, boppy, baby bath stuff, Snugli etc).
Or have one for the baby & one for the mom/dad (scar cream, restaurant gift cards, paid-for couples massage, a month of diaper service if you go the cloth route, carriers, monitor, stroller, etc.)
Always nice to have one person, but not either hostess, who can coordinate people who want to donate money towards a big gift like a fancy baby carriage and collect the $$.
People will get you a ton of baby clothes because they’re cute and fun to buy. Your child will outgrow them in a week or two. We gave some of the baby clothes we brought to the hospital to the woman in the next bed because our baby was too big for them from birth!
You’ll also get a ton of stuffed toys. Just check them to be sure baby can’t choke on any parts (eyes, ribbon), they’re non-toxic to stick in their mouths, and not a suffocation hazard. If so they become a decoration the baby can’t reach.
For a wedding shower, we combined two households, so we didn’t need much, so I requested a wine and cheese shower. You could do something non traditional too. But save alcohol for when you’re no longer breast feeding, even though at times it’s tempting!
Whoever wants too should. My mom threw my first. My MIL & mom threw my second
It all depends I always knew my aunts & my mom would throw one for me because they do all the showers for all the girls (big Irish Midwestern family). Then my best friend asked to throw me one too. No problem! my family threw a traditional one with all the women in the family before baby was born & my bestie threw us a coed one for all our friends & family after baby was born! It was perfect, nobody was upset about any of it & now some of them have copied the idea! Now my aunt who has chosen to never have a relationship with me my whole life asked to throw me one & I simply told her we had it covered already & then she wasn’t even in town for the showers I did have & didn’t come back to town & attempt to meet him until he was like 4 months old lol! Oh well I expected nothing less from her! Everything else for my showers worked perfect for me! But that’s just me, you do what works best for you girl! It’s your baby! Congrats! 
Tell them to work together
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