Absolutely not. They should collaborate. It’s not fun throwing one by yourself anyway they can help each other out.
2 Likes
My mom threw mine but I don’t really have friends. I don’t see why they couldn’t work together or your mom throws one then she can at a later date maybe?
My mom, mother in law and sister in law thrown mine together!
1 Like
I say no my best friends threw mine
Not sure what your sister in law said wrong—she said she’d love to but didn’t want to upset anyone. Why is that a problem? Or is your mom mad at YOU for not knowing these antiquated “rules”? I’m 60 and my mom didn’t throw me a dang thing… so…??
1 Like
It depends on your situation. I live 18 hours from my mom so I doubt she’s throwing my baby shower so I’m planning it myself and doing it
No rules at all. A friend did mine and my mum helped if needed
There is no set rule for who throws it but hey if it’s a problem for your mom let them both throw you one. More gifts, love, and celebration for you and baby🤷🏼♀️
1 Like
They can both help throw the baby shower, would probably be better if they worked together. My mom, aunts, cousins and my sister threw my baby shower, it was a blast. And they all worked together to put something beautiful together.
No unspoken rule that I know of - just check with mom to be and her family, so you aren’t stepping on toes.
For my daughter in law, it was me, her mom and her brothers wife. I just texted them, asking if there will be a surprise shower or if mom will know about it and that I really wanted to help with it (games, prizes, food, etc - whatever they needed). I ended up having the shower location, shared with games, prizes and food - someone else was the decorating queen, lol.
For my daughter, it was mainly me (my mom helped at the party).
I even threw one for my sister (her 2nd child, my mom did her first one and I helped a little bit). Sometimes moms even have 2 showers - one for family and a separate for friends.
I had a surprise shower before delivery, from my co-workers and then my family gave me one after the baby was born (didn’t know ahead of time if a boy or girl).
Also worked jobs where we gave the mom or dad to be a small surprise baby shower.
My best friend hosted mine.
The more help the better?
Traditionally I guess but instead of your mother being upset she should team up with your SIL and welcome the help.
Whoever wants to pay the bill.
1 Like
Didn’t even know there were rules to this. Kinda glad I didn’t have one
Bull!! My sisters did mine.
People really need to stop With all The rules and outdated traditions.
They may be your traditions but listen and understand that they may not have the same ones and may want to make new ones.
Never heard of it being a rule… Let your SIL throw one and your mother. Make everyone happy 
Never heard of that.
Ha ! My mom has been so grateful that my friend took over for both of mine. Now, my mother was very involved with both made tons of food and whatnot. Both baby showers had several people planning with my bestfriend at the lead. No unspoken rule
I never knew this. I didn’t throw my daughter her baby shower. But i did bring food for it
1 Like
They should just do it together 
They both obviously love you a your little one the more help the better
1 Like
…my mom and honorary aunt Marty threw my first one, and when we found out 5 years later we were expecting again (unplanned that time!), my best friend threw me one.
I am in my 80’s now. When I was having my babies it was considered in bad taste for family members to throw baby showers.
4 Likes
No rule on it. At least sil stating she didn’t want to step on toes… why can’t they do it together? I’ve had my mom throw one, my cousin, one sons grandma threw one and my mom threw one for one baby… I had a friend throw one for my twins… another friend threw one for my last baby… I only asked for one with my 1st and 2nd because they were 6 years apart and I didn’t have much of my first baby’s stuff left since I was told he was a miracle baby and I’d never have anymore… I now have 5 bio and one adopted. I did ask about one with my twins since I needed double everything… my youngest was a complete surprise that the fire department threw for me since I was a fire fighter…
Never heard of that rule.
No there isn’t. Anyone can throw it.
My mom did mine with my best friend
I have always heard people say it’s up to the sister/sister in law to throw the shower. There are no rules as to who can actually throw it, though. I know a couple of people who did it themselves. 
1 Like
I never got involved, they usually worked it out amongst themselves.
1 Like
Anyone can throw a shower. In my case it was whoever said they wanted to 
1 Like
I mean there’s no “rule”…
My mum has thrown a baby shower for me, I have also thrown my own baby shower.
I have thrown a baby shower for my best friend… my best friend and I have thrown a baby shower for her sister.
My mum has done a baby shower for my brothers partner (at the time) when they were expecting. It just depends!
1 Like
I’ve always heard that the MOTHERS HOLD NOT throw the shower. It’s considered in bad taste.
I did my own. My mum or mum in law didn’t even come lol x
Anyone can throw you a baby shower I’ve never heard it has to be the mom
1 Like
In my personal opinion, there shouldn’t be a specific person who is obligated to throw one. I threw my own for my third. He was/is my last baby and I’d never done a baby shower for my other 2 kids so I did it myself with the help of my best friend.
1 Like
Have two one mom and family one with freinds
My first baby shower my aunt gave me one and my second baby my sister in law n my mom gave me one.
Your SIL can either help your mom or throw you a second shower.
I had three - one for my family and friends, one for my husbands family (BIG family), and one that my work had thrown me.
In what religion?!
Who ever the mother to be wants to throw her a shower, its nobody elses place to dictate!
1 Like
Does not matter who has the shower
Whoever wants to throw it. There’s no ‘rule’ as to who it should be. You can do it yourself if you want.
Idk I think most moms get excited to throw the first grand babies shower. When my ex sil was pregnant the first time her mom threw it and other helped her but she was the one planning it. She also was very much like im doing it back off type lol I just helped with what she wanted me to do. Her second pregnancy I did it for her. And I don’t remember who threw her 3rds baby shower lol
There’s no rule. I threw a shower for a friend years ago. My mom threw my first baby shower. But my two best friends threw me a shower with my third child. Your mom should not take it so personally and instead join forces with your SIL.
1 Like
They can throw two.differwnr one they can throw them to gather or like ur sil said don’t want to step on anyone’s toes talk to the sil
My best friend and sister in law threw mine.
1 Like
Have them do it together!
The first baby my mom threw it, I’m with someone new pregnant so my MIL is throwingnit
My MIL through her…I mean my shower. Lol. I was allowed to attend and invite 1 table(6 people) of my choice. Lol.
When I was young, it was considered bad manners for anyone in immediate family to give the shower. It was considered “give me”. It was up to friends or possibly cousins.
Later on I noticed the mother of the pregnant woman often would give the shower. Now I see that people plan their own showers. So I guess there is no solid rule. Would suggest the mother and SIL work together on a really nice shower.
4 Likes
In my family it’s always the aunts of the pregnant person but I haven’t seen that in every other family I know
I would say let them plan it together I planned my own so I really don’t think there’s any "rule "
1 Like
Where we live the mother doesn’t throw the shower. A friend or other family member does.
1 Like
My best friend threw mine
1 Like
Anyone can, my sister did mine and I did hers. I’ve never heard of that unspoken rule
My MIL threw mine, and we weren’t even married yet. 
1 Like
She shouldn’t be upset she should welcome her to help in the planning. Why do people have to make drama where it’s unnecessary.
2 Likes
Could always have 2 separate showers if it’s an issue.
I don’t think there’s any rule. Lucky you that you have 2 people who want to do this. Maybe they could join forces? If not maybe just have 2 showers. Mom could do relatives and SIL could do friends? Congrats!
Wish I had ppl argument ng over who was throwing mine I pretty much threw my own shower with the exception my aunt made my cake.
1 Like
They should do it together.
I’ve never heard such a rule. All of the women in my family threw mine together.
I always was told mom and sisters/aunts. Then if they dont or cant it’s basically anyone.but idk I’ve always felt like if someone offers its theirs to do
My future mother in law threw mine
I never head of this. My sister threw mine for me.
I don’t think there’s any set rules. My mom threw mine for my first child and I threw my own little one for my second baby.
Italians believe it’s bad luck to have baby shower before birth but my mother did get in contact with family and they sent gifts
I planned both my girls but with the help of the baby’s fathers mother it was a team thing except my oldest daughter I did hers with a friends and my moms help. There really isn’t a rule its all up to you . but its better if they can do it together
I’ve never heard of this. My mom’s friend did it for her; my friend did it for me. My mom was involved in the planning but it wasn’t all put on her like that.
Whoever you wanna have do it can do it. hell if you want have 2 separate ones. lol one for your family and one from dads family.
Yes normally it is the mother of the baby momma, in some cases its others but if your mother was upset I would say she wanted too! Maybe they can work together OR you can have 2 ?!
I basically coordinated my own with my first because no one seemed to want to, then was mostly my own host that day too. I was surprised honestly. Then Covid was extra wild with my second, so his was virtual.
I had two baby showers. Had one for the in-laws, which my sister-in-law threw as they have somewhat of a large family and we lived there and had one with my family, which was an hour away and my mother threw it. My mother was there for both. It’s not really a rule.
Let them both do it if they really want to. I had 4 baby showers.
There’s no rule as to who should throw it. I didn’t have one with my son and I won’t be having one this time round with my second son either
Shit, in my family we have cousins throwing each other baby showers it used to be the aunts but as they got older the cousins took over.
My mother in-law threw both my bby showers it’s ur choice
Never heard of that. It’s usually the sister/sister in law, or the bestfriend. I planned my own to avoid any drama
I would think whoever wants to throw u one. It shouldn’t matter
My mom and my sister in law together
Never heard of that rule, anyone can throw a party.
I left it to my mom and mil at the time when I was pregnant with my daughter and it never happened. They talked and asked for a list of people I would like to come which was like 8 people at the time and I never got one. Now that I am pregnant with my second and last, my son my bestfriend threw it and organized it with some help with expenses from my mom and my new mother in law. My baby shower turned into a surprise engagement.
I always thought mothers should not host the shower.
3 Likes
Maybe she’s thinking it’s a family tradition or in Emily Posts etiquette and manners book?
But Most baby showers should be hosted by a sister, mother, mother-in-law, or close friend. Baby showers were traditionally thrown by family members who weren’t close with the parents-to-be, to avoid the assumption that close family members wanted gifts for themselves.
Yes. Billie Woods Strong has a great suggestion!
No, I don’t think there are any rules about who gives it anymore.
You could always invite your friends to the one by your SIL, and family to the one your Mom wants to give if you have a lot of friends and family.
Let them each throw you one
1 Like
My mom threw mine but I threw my closest cousin one 
I planned my own. My mom & aunts help.
Why doesn’t the mother and sil come together and throw it?
2 Likes
Usually a friend or family member. There are no rules.
They can plan it together. I’d prefer the one who is going to have more fun activities
My baby’s dads cousin threw ours
My mum amd BFF did mine woth my 1st. I never had another with my other pregnancies. Why cant they do it together? Double the love shown for you and half the work for them!
It different with every one but personally, my mom and sister got together and actually helped me plan my baby shower. I like having a hand in decision making when it comes to stuff like that.
I wasn’t aware of this rule. I threw one for my sister and my niece. No one seemed to have any issues with it.
My best friend and godmother of my kids threw my first one. I didnt want one for the second. No one else offered. Heck when it came to asking if i was having one it was solely to ask where i registered.
My mom and sister in law did mine
Why not just make it a joint effort by all who want to help. I think some people just like to take all the credit.Who cares who " hosts" it? Just show up with presents.lol
1 Like
My shower was thrown by my best friend.
1 Like
Nope if it wasn’t for the girls I worked with at the time I wouldn’t have had 1.
Never heard that rule
There are no rules on who should or shouldn’t throw the shower. My mother in law threw mine because I grew up without a mom. Can your mom and SIL work together to throw you a beautiful shower?
My best friend threw mine… never knew the mother was supposed to…