I’ve been to a few different baby showers and they’ve never been thrown by the mother lol. Maybe it depends where you live etc as to the traditions etc?
Mine, and my 2 sister’s. We each organised each other’s with input from close friends. Our mum helped where she could, by bringing a plate of food and coming early to help set up. But we did the rest
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Maybe get them both to get together to organise it??
Surely that they both love you and your unborn child can help them come together to make a day special for you.
I never had one with either of my kids, so I can’t say who “should” be the one to organise.
I’m not sure there’s a “rule”. In my experience (personal and friends and family) it’s varied who does it. A lot of times a few go together and plan it.
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There is absolutely no rule. A friend could throw your baby shower. I threw both my sisters in law’s showers. I do think that the family should talk amongst themselves about it and even coordinate. It doesn’t have to be thrown all by one person. Different family members can be in charge of different things: food, decor, games… I think it’s nicer that way.
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Back in the day it was not supposed to be close family member; perhaps a cousin or aunt. That “rule” has largely gone by the wayside and it can easily be anyone you’re comfortable with. One doesn’t throw one’s own baby shower, but it’s not uncommon to have more than one when work, close social friends, church, in town and out-of -town family might not overlap.
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It is not a written rule on anything
I have seen
people whether friends or relatives who cares
Work together
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I threw one for my sister in law, I just asked my mother in law to help. They’re such a pain to plan we were happy to help one another! Xxx
Not that I’m aware of… should be whoever wants to do it I think…ie Mom sister sister in law best friend husband whoever
Here in Texas, it was implied by my Mother in law that someone else had to throw it other than her. My Mother is no longer alive so my sister in law and her Mother threw one for me in the town I’m from, and my husband’s aunt threw one for me in the town he is from. I don’t think it matters at all. If someone wants to throw you a party, let them throw you a party!!
Where I come from family members do not host the baby shower - so it is clearly a regional thing and a conversation to be had to avoid disappointment and upset.
We also only have one shower and for the first child only, as in no other showers for subsequent kids because the big items are already in hand.
I always thought it was the girls best friends place to throw it
Never the mom, it would be mom begging to give her daughter gifts. That seems rude to me.
The church always did one for me… as well as family… with one of my children I had 4 baby showers with different families… no rule on who gets to throw the baby shower🤷♀️
Idk why the mother would get upset when the SIL said she didn’t want to step on anyone’s toes… I feel like she was just saying hey I got ur back if no one else wants to do it 
They should both work together less stress for each of them 
To me it doesn’t matter. I threw a baby shower 2 times and bridal parties 3 times. I included anyone who wanted to help. As the best friend and sister it was extremely exciting. My mom was short of money but I kept her included with my sister.
Doesn’t matter what the rule is to anyone else, it is the rule in your mom’s heart, so gently let your SIL know your mom has her heart set on it.
I think what your SIL did was absolutely fine (sweet even) and your Mom should chill out. We had two bridal showers for me (more convenient to do one for my in-laws out-of-state) and maybe your SIL thought your Mom wasn’t up to hosting or that one group would be too much? Either way, the offer can be graciously declined if your Mom wants to throw it - nbd.
Anyone can throw it, i have my whole entire family pitching in and throwing it on July 31st. Everyone has their own job and she’s my first baby too.
In The American tradition the family members do not throw it, friends throw it.
It’s your baby and your shower. Tell them they both can work together and throw you a baby shower. People need to stop being so petty about things and understand that everyone is excited about the baby and wants to participate.
My mom, MIL, and my SIL on my side are planning my shower together, and I am involved. Whoever wants to plan you a shower should be able to plan you a shower!
I organised my own 
Why not split the job roles, someone can be in charge of decorations and games the other can be in charge of food, a nice cake…etc You can be in charge of the guest list so you don’t have any sudden surprises of people turning up.
my daughter in laws sister did hers but at there mums home
Have 2…one with mom and all her guests…and a 2nd one with couples invited that includes Dad and his friends…maybe just a diaper party…
There is no written rule. Your mother should be thankful.
When I was a girl it was “verboten” for family members to give wedding or baby showers. Period! It was not good taste. A close friend did that and the mom and other family were invited guests. I realize that has changed now, however.
My church ladies usually get together and plan it.
Just tell her your mom has been looking forward to this you whole life, and she wants to throw it.
It’s not a rule. It’s basically whoever decides to! See if your mom will work with the sister in law! More than one person can do it!
Nah, I planned my own baby shower! If there is a feud between families, I would suggest having two smaller showers? Let everyone who wants to help be a part of it
I always plan my own everything. I wouldn’t trust my mom with ANYTHING like that lol
In our family, it was always the aunts.
There are no rules! No one knows what they’re doing and you’ll never please anyone. Your mom sounds fun though.
They make baby showers?? what about 20-24 inches tall. a little shower, great idea!!
Unspoken rules just like traditions can change. Do what works for you and yours
I was under the impression that it was who ever wanted to organise it x
I honestly think it’s anyone who wants to help you out !
They need to grow up and work together n throw you one!
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My aunt threw mine, her and myself threw my cousins, my sis in laws best friend threw hers. There is no rule written or unwritten.
Have more than one let each do one. Then know one gets left out.
mom trumps sister in law
let them do it together
Whoever wants too but its not mandatory.
Why can’t they do it as a joint venture and do it together? There were like 6 of us that did my daughter’s including myself, her mother in law, 2 sisters in law, and a couple of her friends. We were able to give her a very nice shower and we all pitched in to get her a very nice shower gift plus whatever we wanted to do individually. We had a blast and no one got territorial. It’s about you and your baby. Not your mom. My daughter means everything to me and I wanted her to have the nicest possible shower and I wanted to do what made her happy. We even included dads and husbands. It was so much fun! I would tell her you love her so much for wanting to do this for you but you would like for other family members the opportunity to show their love for this new member of the family as well and point out how nice it would be to have help in planning and sharing the expense. As sad as it makes me, tradition is kind of out the window these days. It’s more of a do what makes you happy environment in today’s society. Congratulations on this bundle of joy you are bringing into the world. 
Mom can have one too. Gee, the more, the merrier.
It doesn’t have to mom
You can have more than one shower.
My best friend did it
No rules. I threw one for a friend once and just included mum etc
You can have 2 baby showers.
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