Who should wake up at night with baby?

Is it a womans responsibility to wake up throughout the night to care of a baby or BOTH parents?


Well it’s both parents baby so why should only mom get up?

In the beginning we both did, but as time went on it was just me.

I couldn’t ever be with a guy who thinks mothers have to do all the parenting.

It’s equal in every way.


IMO it depends. If you are a SAHM and dad works full time, mom should! If y’all both work, I’d say both.


BOTH! Don’t leave the other one hanging. Switch off throughout the night!

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if the mother is breastfeed, she should wake up, if bottle feeding, that should be worked out between the parents. If the husband, or the boyfriend, & if he works all day, let him sleep & the mother can wake up

I think you should have this discussion before you decide to have children.

I think it depends on who is working but if you both are then just take turns

I felt I should wake up with baby when my husband had to work…but he usually would beat me in there😄

Depends… Majority of the time I wake up cause I’m a stay at home mum. My partner does in the weekend mornings which I’m so grateful for a sleep in :joy:


Both but mostly mom…especially if dad works…if both work take turns

Took u both to make baby

Well I EBF so there’s not much my husband can do lol. He sort of gets in the way. He works and I get unlimited naps during the day :woman_shrugging:

So for US, I get up. If I have ever needed a break or help he gets up if I need him to.

It should be both but there are circumstances like work schedules that interfere with that but then you can make up the difference during the day so maybe mom can have a nap or go out

I’m a stay at home mom and I breastfeed. It is 100% my job, as it should be.

Well it really depends if dad is working and moms on maternity leave then its mom if dad is off then he should have a turn too let money have some well earned rest

Both. My amazing husband and i have shifts. I wake with baby from 8-330am and then my husband takes over

Both parents SHOULD. Doesn’t mean they both do

If hes not working the next day, he gets up for me😊

Well…depends on weather or not breastfeeding. What’s the point for the guy to get up if he can’t feed the baby?
I haven’t been able to pump so when my son wakes up hungry i don’t make my old man get up cuz there isn’t a damn thing he can do for him…he will get up with him to change diapers though after a feeding

Both. Even if one is breastfeeding, the other can get them a snack or water, change the diaper, rock the baby to sleep after, etc.

I always got up with my kids bc my husband worked in the morning… I am a SAHM.

Both should but since my husband works alot. I’m the one who does. It would not be fair if he had to get up.

Both definitely, a mom needs as much sleep as a dad.

Both. Took two to make it, takes two to raise it and care for it.
I had it worked out with my ex husband that night where he worked the next day, he would put her to bed but I would get up and take care of her throught the night. The days he was off, he slept in one morning and I slept in the next morning. That was the agreement… Didn’t happen most times.

Now with the BF I’m with, hes amazing with her and helps me with her anytime of day or night. :relaxed::relaxed:

It’s both parents kid but unless the baby’s bottle fed what’s the man gonna do and don’t most men have to go to work the next day so in my opinion I gladly get up with my kid so my husband can sleep for work

It depends. I was a stay at home mom so of course I would always get up with the babies. I would never expect my husband to do it when he works 10-12 hour days 5 days a week!


Mothers. Dont complain and do your duties.


Both but then again if the mother is BF I don’t see why the guy would wake up… my husband always got up with me when our son was an infant even though I BF he wanted the cuddles after each feedings :joy::joy:

I’m a stay at home mom… I get up with baby during the week and hubby let’s me sleep in on the weekends. The only exception is if babys not been sleeping well and I need the extra help then he will help when asked.

Depends on if she’s breastfeeding ot not.

I think it’s situational dependent. If dad is home on paternity leave he should alternate getting up with mom if the baby is bottle fed. If mother is breastfeeding he should at least get up and help with baby - hand her baby, change diaper if needed, etc.

If he is back at work and mom is still on maternity leave then I think she should, mostly, I guess. Then on weekends dad can get up. This also depends on how baby is fed.

If both mom & dad are working I think it depends on type of job and hours worked. My husband works 5-1, so when our baby is born he might be getting up anyway if baby wakes up so he can help out a bit.

I definitely think that it should be shared, but I don’t know if it could be 50/50. I don’t think it should be all one or the other though.


If both parents work, absolutely both. I’m a SAHM so I only woke up. But if he wasn’t working he’d get up too

While i was on maternity leave i did but when i went back to work we both did!

We took turns with baby #1
But we were both working then
Baby #2 I’m a stay at home mom and he works long hours. I do most of the geting up at night but o dont see it at as it’s the womans responsibility. I do it because hes tired from long hours of work :woman_shrugging:

Both made that baby both raise that baby.

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My fiance gets up to our daughter before I even stir. He is a very light sleeper.

Do both parents work? I’m a stay at home mom so I got up in the middle of the night.

My husband use to wake before me get the baby change then give to me to feed is they didn’t go back to sleep easy and if husband woke up again he would try to settle as Well after all we are both parents and it’s the best time of your life

I stayed home with my kids and breastfed, but also pumped. My husband always got up with me even he didn’t need to.

Its pretty crazy how many people say only the mom should wake up. The only way the mom should only wake up is if the baby will ONLY TAKE THE BOOB. My son is breastfed but I also pump so at night, my husband who works 60+hours a week will wake up for the 2am feeding and feed our son while I pump. Than I wake up at the 6am feeding as he already gone for work. Even if the mom doesnt work, being woken up out of sleep every 2/3 hours is exhausting. I guess I should be extra thankful my husband is a father lmao


Daddy gets from 9pm to 12am so mama can sleep and mama gets after midnight and on so dad can rest for work. Worked great for us! Good luck❤

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I mean I EBF both my kids so it kind of fell on me when they woke up for night time feedings. Now that they’re old we take turns if they wake up

Team player so I say both parents.

Both take turns really.

Depends on if your breastfeeding or not. If you breast feed then the mom should wake up (theirs no reason for both parents to be tired) but if you bottle feed then it should be 50/50

I dont mind waking up with the baby. I stay at home and he works so I feel its only fair. But on his weekends off he lets me sleep and wakes up with her. But when she was a infant and was up most of the night we’d take turns.

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I guess it would depend on how you and dad decide. My dad always would wake up and change the baby, grab a bottle and bring the baby to my mom in bed. At that point she took over and would return the baby to bed.

My husband gets up in the MOTN when she fusses … no questions asked … it just happens that way … so I guess the responsibility should fall on both

I’m a sahm so I usually get up with him. If he has been up all night, I’ll bring him to my husband around 530 am so I can sleep for an hour or so before he has to leave for work. If I’m completely exhausted, he will offer to take him at night if I have bottles ready in the fridge. :pray::heart:

If you’re breastfeeding then it’s all you Mama. But formula could be both .

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Takes 2 to tango, you both made the baby you both take care of the baby. Same with all other chores it’s a shared responsibility.

Its always been me to get up with the baby my husband doesn’t wake up

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My wife is pregnant, I’m in nursing school and my wife works but by the time the baby is here she is gonna take leave. At that time, we will either both end up getting up or take turns. It depends on the family function but im looking forward to this even though I’ll be tired for school lol

Both? I’m pretty sure you both made that baby. My husband and I are a team. Splitting childcare based on which one of us pushed the kid out is ridiculous.


Depends if the man has work, if my boyfriend isn’t working the next day he’s getting his ass up in the night lmao but our baby sleeps through the night now so some mornings when he isn’t working he lets me sleep in and takes her for a few hours.

BOTH of you made the child both of you get up!!!

I’m a SAHM so I usually get up. When hubby was working nights he would get home at like 4am and he would take over with our oldest daughter (that worked great for us) now he works days and gets up at 5 so it’s different.

It’s both people’s job.
I have some severe medical issues and am on antipsychotics that make it hard to wake up at night so my husband gets up, changes baby and hooks them up to my boob while I wake up a little more and he sits up while I’m rousing until it’s safe for him to to back to sleep. I finish feeding and put the baby back to sleep. Raising a baby takes teamwork.


In my opinion it’s whoever doesn’t have to wake up in the morning for work. I don’t mind if it’s me but on weekends, I expect my bf would do so to help.

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I’ll ignore the perceived sexist connotation and assume it’s an innocent desire for fairness in the household.

The best answer to this question is that it depends. Every family has a different circumstance and work schedule. Stay at home mom? Probably should be doing the night calls. EBF? Most of the time mom. Both parents working a day/evening shift? Depending on who’s sleeping when, depends on who responds to the crying baby.

My family schedule is that my wife works the normal 8am-5pm schedule whereas I work 6pm to 6am. On my days off, I take care of night needs, since she pumps and we do supplement with formula when necessary. All day and evening calls are on her due to my 12 hr shifts and lack of sleep when I’m home alone with the baby.

It’s a team. Your partner is not your enemy.


BOTH!!! Cause both make this baby not only one?..lol

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I think it depends so I wasnt working for the 1st year husband was working 2 jobs to support us plus EBF so I woke up with him. He spent time with him when he got home


My husband never got up ever with 5 kids - :sleepy:

My hubby works most so I don’t really expect him to always help but when I do ask I expect help… I don’t ask very much


Depends. Is dad the only one working? Mom staying home? Then mom should be the one getting up so he can get his rest for work. Both working, both get up.


I stay at home and my husband works so I get up and always have. He has to get up and go to work so he needs to sleep.


I do it all. I have all 3 of the kids 24/7.

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If one parent stays home, and one parent works full-time, the parent who stays home should be the one to get up. If both work, then both should share that responsibility.

Just my opinion.


I think both. I’m a SAHM but I am up all day with the baby and he is up all day at work. I get worn out when i have no sleep so we take turns. And when he gets home the stuff that needs to be done is done and we spend time as a family.


For both our kids it was only me. My husband never ever got up in the 11 months they woke up in the night for both of them.

Both but my husband works nights so im sol :laughing: i only sleep on the weekends

I’ve been the only one to get up with my 2 kids. They were both breastfed and preferred me anyway so even if my hub tried to step in it was nothing but a more upset baby. I learned to nurse on my side. He also works 60 hours a week so I can stay with my kids and hes gping back to school at night. To ask him to then wake up with the kids who were not at all good sleepers seemed unfair.

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Well who ever doesn’t have to be up early or who isn’t working. Either way it had to be me since I was nursing

My husband and I do work opposite shifts/days. Whoever doesnt work in the morning gets up. While I was on leave I got up everytime bc he was working.
For the longest time it was regularly me but lately I’ve been super deep sleeping so he has been getting up w him.
It really just depends on your situation, either way TALK it over w your partner.

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Depends. For SAHM’S I think unless the baby has extreme sleep issues then let Dad sleep…but on weekends he should return the favor. If both parents work then both should take turns getting up.


I always did because I was a stay at home parent and could rest when the baby napped. My husband was the breadwinner and I felt he needed his rest to perform his best at work.


I’m a stay at home mom and depending on the day I make the dad get up. He works full time but here and there he can help with his baby too


To me… It depends… My husband has a dangerous job that he works 12-16 hrs at sometimes. I am a stay at home mom to three kids. Yes, we both made our babies together and our version of “teamwork” isn’t conventional to some… But… I would be absolutely beside myself if something happened to him because he was exhausted. Once he is home he takes over.


Well I’m breastfeeding so he’s pretty much useless unless I need him to go get something :woman_shrugging:t2:


This is a depends situation.
Do both of you work?
Do you work and he stays home? Do you stay home and he works?
What are the work hours?

Parenting is a 50/50 job but if dad is getting up in the am to go to work then its not unreasonable for you to get up with baby in the night. I know you’ve got stuff going on at home too (im a stay at home mom) BUT you’re not under the time restraints, rules, and regulations that people have at jobs. (I can stay in my pjs, i can take a break from cleaning after every room, i can take a nap when my 2 year old does if i really want my husband just doesn’t have that freedom)

If you’re feeling burned out, ask for help. Don’t argue or nag or act like a bitch. Just say hey “im feeling really tired and run down and could really use some extra help” works so much better than picking a fight or berating your significant other into to doing what you want.

My husband didn’t mind getting up with our son but he didn’t always wake up to the crying. So i woke him up. He didn’t get annoyed with me and i didn’t get annoyed with him.

My husband and I would take turns… But we both worked. I think a mom that stays home works just as hard too. I think it’s both parents responsibility, give and take. That’s how you home with your kid.

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We all know what the answer should be, and we also know what really happens :roll_eyes:


It depends on the situation. I stay at home so I got up with our kids. I also breastfed exclusively so there was no point in both of us losing sleep. When he was home, he would help me with the housework while I adjusted or take over so I could shower and take a little time for me.

I’m a stay at home mom.
And my husband works 12 hour shifts.
And he’s never complained about waking with our kids.
For us,
It’s just whoever reacts first.
Sometimes he will hear them before I do and he just gets up.

Whoever has to get up earlier takes the first feed ,next is either stay at home parent or later working parent . maximize sleep !

I stay at home with 3 between the ages 6-2 and I breastfeed so my partner can’t help much, but if I’m sick or am that tired I don’t wake up (once every few months) then he gets up and brings me the baby or takes the big kids back to bed if the get up for the toilet or have a bad dream, but I don’t expect it as he works very hard and often falls asleep around 8:30

When I was breastfeeding, we both got up each time; spouse to set me up for the feeding session and possibly changing a diaper before going back to bed, then I fed/changed/put baby back down. When we switched to formula because BF wasn’t producing enough, then we did every other wake up taking turns feeding and changing. It’s BOTH responsible for the kid(s) not just a stay at home parent. One parent might stay at home but since they’re up all day with the kid draining their battery, it’s unfair to expect them to also manage to be able to get up all night and take care of their needs by themselves. They need sleep too, so there should be some concessions to help you take turns or split the duties.

I liked it when I woke up and got rock and feed them…just a mama thing

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I get up with the baby throughout the week as my husband works full time Monday-Friday and I’m breastfeeding so there isn’t much he can do.
On the weekends my husband takes him out of the room in the morning so I can sleep in :blush: it works well for us.

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Whoever doesn’t work the next morning.

I think if boths working then it should be both but if one is a stay at home parent then they should

Dad works, Mama should.

If she is a sahm then she should. If he has a hard job and she doesn’t then she should. If they both have a hard job then take turns.

We used to take turns

Depends on who is working and who isn’t. If neither than both, if both work then both.

Both. You’re supposed to take turns, but we all know who really gets up with the baby :woman_facepalming: I stopped complaining and just did it, but my husband does take the baby so my oldest and I can sleep

I personally think the baby wants mama. They have been in us for the past 40 weeks, its our heart they want to hear.

I stay home so I stay up with kids and get up with baby boy all night.