Who gets up with the baby at night? I am exhausted, but my husband constantly tells me, “it’s my job,” and my baby would “prefer I got up”. He does go to work at 7 am, but our baby wakes multiple times. I feel like he should get up at least once.
71 Likes
Do you breast feed? Kinda means baby needs mama. However dad can help with everything else. Advice: get this worked out now or everything will become your job
4 Likes
It should be an even share IMO
6 Likes
My daughter has been getting up twice a night, and we split it usually. If she only gets up once, I usually get her even though I’m the one that works in the morning, but that’s just because I’m a lighter sleeper than him and I wake up first.
It’s nobody’s job, first of all. It’s both of your responsibility.
20 Likes
Should be split but it’s usually a mom job… it’s hard but they are only little so long
Took two to create a baby. Should be shared
4 Likes
My husband works until midnight so I usually get up with baby. But on his days off when he gets to bed early, he’ll help during the night. I also work mornings at 8am.
2 Likes
My husband and I split it. If I know he needs to be up early then I’ll just do it but otherwise we trade off nights.
3 Likes
My husband and I took turns
3 Likes
My husband worked and helped me with mine. He needs to help too.
2 Likes
In our house, I stayed home for the first 7 months with our twins so for us, it made sense for me to get up with them, plus I was breastfeeding. On the weekends he would get up with them on one shift to feed them expressed milk, and let me sleep, but that also had to so with me not going too long between feedings.
It’s not a moms job, it’s a parents job and you both are parents. Switch off days
5 Likes
I feel like moms take most of that responsibility. Not saying its fair or right, just the way I see it played out most unfortunately.
1 Like
M-F my husband worked 7-3, leaving the house around 615am. So I got up with the baby at night. S-S hubby got up at night with the baby. It was a nice balance that worked for us.
8 Likes
It should be split it takes two to make a baby supposed to be team effort last time I checked you can’t make a baby by yourself
It’s his child too. He can take some turns cuz she may not be hungry every time, he can change diapers and read her a book
1 Like
I do . But in fairness I stay home with the kids and he is out of the house by 5am and he sleeps with cpap machine and he can’t hear them. Now I am pregnant (16 weeks) and when I get up to use the bathroom he normally rolls over and asks where am I going. But he does help out a lot when he is home in the evenings.
It’s not a “job” its a responsibility. If u both work it should be 50/50 if hubby works then it should be you
1 Like
Do you work? If not then you should be getting up with the baby since he goes to work. If you both work then it should be split
6 Likes
If you both work both of you. If you’re a stay at home mom. Then you.
1 Like
3 kids, all 3 of them I did all the nights… even when I was a working mom too. Good luck with that battle!
1 Like
Not a job a baby is a responsibility. Are you working as well? I never woke my husband up, if he got up cool if he didn’t well he needed his sleep to go to work to support us🤷♀️ i also would breastfeed. When he got home he’d help when and wherever needed/wanted.
I feel you.
My husband leaves for work at 4:45am. Our daughter normally wakes up around 4am to eat. My husband sleeps til 4:20am. Like if he woke up 2-3 mornings a week with the baby (only 20 minutes early) he’d have time to feed and change her and put her back down for me to get some sleep. 
He will do it if I wake up and ask, but I feel I should have to wake up.
1 Like
I’m a stay at home mom. It is my job to take care of the kids the house and that means getting up in the middle of the night. My husband works outside doing very hard work and it’s not fair for him to have to get up with the baby when I can take a nap or lay down if I need to!! He can not he drives slot as well and I don’t want him falling asleep while driving
Now on that note! On the weekend he takes the baby in the morning so I can catch up on sleep and won’t wake me if I have milk ready it has been this way with all my kids
7 Likes
Its his responsibility also. Let him know that you are exhausted and would appreciate the help
1 Like
I’m breastfeeding. I get up if the baby does. When they were newborns my husband would help change diapers and bring the baby to me. Now I take care of them myself. I don’t expect him to get up and he doesn’t think of it as my job. It’s just how it works for us
2 Likes
My partner and I would get up with our baby every other time he woke up
My husband sleeps like the dead and never heard our daughter. I’m a light sleeper and I was breast feeding so it was easier for me to do it till I weaned her. Once that was done you can bet I kicked his ass awake to check on her lol
Wait, if he has to get up for work at 7am then why should he get up? Unless you both work outside the home you are asking too much. Of course it’s exhausting. Try to take a nap here and there when your baby naps. If you work outside the home too then yes you should take turns.
5 Likes
My partner leaves at 7, but still got up with both of our boys, and I stay home with them all day
He sees it as him spending time with them before he leaves for work all day
3 Likes
It’s my job to take care of the baby and the house but on his day off he’s the one take care of our daughter i only feed her and i do my own stuff
My husband worked long hours & always gave me a break. Dads have equal responsibility.
1 Like
Me and my husband took turns getting up at night. We pre-made the bottles we had a little diaper wipey extra onesie spit up rag with the garbage can right by the bed so all we have to do is get up and get her and everything was right there we turned on some light cartoons gave her her bottle, burped her, changed her. and she went right back to bed. It’s his responsibility as much as it is yours.
1 Like
In my personal experience, if I’m home and hubby is the only one working outside of the home, then my job is in the home, and that’s part of my job. However during the hours you’re both awake, he could help with baths, PJ, story time or dinner times.
8 Likes
I stayed home for both of my kids until they were over 1 year. When night feedings were a thing, I always got up with the baby. My husband works hard, and takes all the overtime he can so we can be not just financially comfortable, but safe in the event that something like last year’s shut down occurs. It never even crossed my mind to wake him up to change a diaper or feed the baby when I knew he had to be up in just a few hours to go work all day for us.
1 Like
I’m sorry I don’t follow his and her jobs. When my wife and I had our babies my wife breast fed our children. So i would get up and get the babies and bring them to her to feed. I would then burp them and rock them to sleep and go back to bed. We both made those babies so we both took care of them.
38 Likes
Both its not a job its just parenting
2 Likes
I think it depends if baby is breastfed or formula fed… If breastfed there’s really no reason for dad to get up. Unless if you pump bottles for night time. Formula, then it should be shared… With my first he was ebf until about 4 months then we had to start formula. I was a sahm but when baby woke up dad went downstairs to the kitchen and made his bottle while I changed his diaper then when he came back I fed the baby and he went back to sleep. It worked for us for a while… Second baby was ebf, no bottles ever (she refused to take a bottle) and so I got up with her whenever she woke up.
My husband and my only parenting experience was twins, our first and last kids, with vastly different eating patterns. Early on we developed a plan: He had trouble getting to sleep anyway, so our agreement was anything that happened with the twins from 10 PM to 2 AM was on him. Anything that happened from 2 AM to 6 AM was on me. That allowed each of us to at least try to get 4 hours of sleep a night. It wasn’t awesome, but it worked! We used to leave each other snarky notes on the dining room table like “I got him to drink 3 oz at 5:00 AM, BEAT THAT!” It became a weird, playful and beneficial competition!
9 Likes
Did he help make the baby? Pretty sure it’s both parents “job”
Yea I fell for this shit for awhile myself. It’s a shared job. Exhaustion isnt good for anyone especially mom. I gave my husband and ultimatum, get up 2 nights a week or we r not going to make it as a couple.
I’ve got 5 kids I’ve never once made dad get up or change diapers.
7 Likes
We both work 60 hour weeks but both take care of kids and house work. We both get up with baby one will change diaper one get bottle ready also one will drop off at daycare other pick up.been like that with all 4 kids.
I say try and talk to him and see what works for your family maybe he can take his day off as baby duty
2 Likes
My husband and I took turns, every other night,that way at least one of us got a full nights sleep every other day.
1 Like
He should help at least a few nights a week. He doesn’t sound like a keeper.
5 Likes
I work at 5 o’clock in the morning but if our boy wakes up, whoever he woke up first is who gets up with him
We made the baby together so we can take turns together 
1 Like
What a horse’s ass.
He helped make the baby, the least he can do is help out.
Was he like this before you married him?!
Im a stay at home mom… im the one who is getting up with the baby 
she only wakes up couple times at night…my husband works hard to support us so I’m the one who’s stays home with the baby take care of the house and bring my son to school and pick him up but he usually helps me with laundry cooking dinner after he comes back from work…he gives bath to my son and on the weekend he watches the kids so I can have some break …cause he knows how hard is to be stay at home mom :)
3 Likes
My husband used to work 12 hour night shifts. He would get home at 730 am and then stay up with our son so I could sleep in. He’s just lazy and dont want too
1 Like
When my partner has work in the morning I get up with the baby at night but when he doesn’t work the next day he gets up with the baby. It’s both of our responsibility though it’s not just my job or his
1 Like
My husband don’t hear shit lol but I don’t mind it at all. If I really need help and wake him he will help.
Does he help you on his weekends? If not, then he’s not being a dad. He will continue to be on the sidelines of his children’s lives. You and him need to come up with a plan. If you’re both working, it’s both your responsibilities. If it’s only him, maybe he needs to be the sole one to get up on his weekends so that you have 2 nights without getting up with the baby. That is my suggestion. But you need to discuss it with him and make sure you are firm that he is not being a dad at the moment. Parenting isn’t a “job”. If one is doing it all or the majority, they need a break.
2 Likes
My husband works, I’m a stay at home mom, so I always get up with the kids, if I’m tired the next day I’ll try to nap with them 
I’m not making him get up to do it when he has to go to work…
102 Likes
We kinda traded off. He worked during the week, so he would get up with the baby on the weekends
1 Like
If you’re a stay at home mom, nights are on you. If you work full time as well, it should be a shared thing.
8 Likes
Everyone is different. Every relationship is different
4 Likes
If you’re home all day and he has to get up for work, it’s your job.
6 Likes
We used to take turns. When I was breastfeeding obviously it would be me majority of the time, but he would always wake up and offer. We both worked and also neither job has set hours for us, usually more than 8-10hrs. Both parents should be up and down. For those who said if she is a stay at home mom she should always do it, not necessarily how it should be done
2 Likes
It’s his job to get up and change the diaper, you nurse. If bottle fed, every other time.
1 Like
I get up with the babe she’s breastfeeding but there has been times she won’t settle my wife will tell me to rest and gets back up milk because sometimes you need help and even when she works the next morning
We’re both the parents
1 Like
I am fortunate enough to be a stay at home mom, so I wake up at night so my husband can rest since he works and is literally on call 24/7. Also, my husband certainly can’t feed the baby with his useless boobs so there’s that too. 
6 Likes
Me n my bf usually took turns getting up w baby… but most of the time I wanted to be the one to get up w her… n now that she’s much older we take turns getting up w her in the morning… it’s his job too not jus urs… u didn’t make that baby urself
1 Like
My husband works in steel stamping and works long hours and lots of overtime so I can stay home. I feel like the least I can do is try to let him sleep. Sure it’s hard and tiring but so is what he does.
12 Likes
If you both work, take turns.
4 Likes
My first was born my husband woke up everytime with me that was his choice when our second he tried to but couldn’t always lol but I didn’t mind he took care of both on weekends so I could see in
Robby Goolsby??? What’s your opinion?
Being a SAHM and working an out of home job are both full time jobs that both require sleep. You both made the baby. You both should help. A father who wakes up and helps feed and put the baby back to sleep is so important. I’m happy with the way my fiancé and I do things. Mutual respect and appreciation is key.
13 Likes
I always did but I was nursing so my husband couldn’t really do much.
2 Likes
First baby was formula fed so we each had night duty every other night. Second was breastfed so I took care of nighttime’s. Third is breastfed so I take care of her at night, tho he takes care of when our middle gets up at night. I think if one person works and the other stays home, the one that stays home should get up with baby during work days, then the other parent on their days off. That way the working parent has sleep for work, but the stay at home parent also gets 1-2 nights of full sleep.
2 Likes
When my baby was younger, me and the dad both got up to get the job done quicker 
one made the bottle, the other changed the nappy. Work together to get it done. We were both woken up, so may as well help. The sooner it’s done, the sooner you get to go back to bed.
We’d take it in turns who got out of bed, and who changed the diaper to keep it fair.
2 Likes
He helped make it he should get his butt up and help take care of it our first born I’d get up and help with him and still have to drive from middle Georgia to middle Florida then I was hauling milk down there… doesn’t matter who works in my opinion it takes 2 to make a child
We both work full time jobs, but when our baby wakes up in the night I wake up with him. I also get him ready to go to the babysitters house. Each relationship is different though. I personally do better with less sleep than my significant other, thats why I get up with the baby.
1 Like
When our baby was an infant I worked mornings so he got up with her most times during the week. We took turns during the weekends and now she a yr and a half and still wakes up at night:woman_facepalming:t3: but it’s mainly myself getting up with her now,unless she feels like playing then we both up .
1 Like
It could be he is afraid. It can be scary to take care of babies. Maybe you could set things up to make it easy and ask him if he has any questions or doubts. He should at least help the days before he is off work.
Both help out at night
Its depends. In the beginning I breastfed and my husband was on it with getting me water or towels or changing diapers. As the baby got older I would just nurse. My husband worked a dangerous job and he needed his sleep. Im a stay at home mom but as soon as he walked him from work its dad mode until bedtime. So maybe it is your job at night. Maybe its not. Its different lives for everyone
Being a parent is TEAMWORK. That looks different for every family but you are a team and should communicate and support each other through parenthood.
I wake up with baby do to my husband being gone for 13 hours a day at work. But when he is off he does at leat 1 time a night.
1 Like
My husband would get up with me sometimes even though I told him to go back to sleep. He chose to stay up and help, or take over some nights with both of our girls. I didn’t complain and neither did he. 
I believe parenthood is teamwork. If he has to wake up for work though, and you don’t, I feel like it is your job to do the overnight wake ups, IF he works the day after. He should be taking turns on the nights he doesn’t have to wake up though.
Who’s baby is it?? EXACTLY! BOTHHHH♥️, this shouldn’t be a question, he’s taking advantage of your bond with your baby. Let them get a bond too. If that means waking up once or twice at night, then so be it. I don’t understand how sometimes things are not okay for THEM to do, but it’s totally fine for us to do.
My husband is a stay at home dad and he gets up with our baby at night. Weekends and nights I don’t have to work the next day I will get up with her
1 Like
I always got up with all 3 of mine cause he worked and I stayed home where I could take a nap if I was lucky. He couldn’t because he was at work… I also breastfed though… Bottle & formula too but mostly breast with all 3… There were nights and mornings when he was off that I would just ask him if he’d mind getting up them cause I wasn’t feel well or was just exhausted but for the most part it was me. He never made me feel like or told me it was my job though! That’s kinda rude in my opinion… It’s not just your baby.
We both worked and I was in school With our oldest we had a schedule after around 2am we would switch off and I got to sleep in… the second I co slept and breast fed so I’d hear him cry and slide him back in and drift about half way to sleep I didn’t feel like a deep sleep when he was attached but I felt decently rested
If I’m having a hard time my husband doesn’t hesitate to get the baby and he gets up at 5am 
I’m also a sahm
Teamwork!!! Both parents should take turns getting up. Me and my husband both work. I usually get up with the baby and toddlers, but if I’m overly exhausted, I tell my husband to get up. Even if he works at 4am the next morning and I don’t work until 2pm. Parenting should not be just on one parent. I don’t get naps during the day, and I need sleep too. My husband knows that if I wake him up, then he needs to get up and help because I try not to do that unless I’m overly exhausted. Last night was one of those nights. I was so tired I didn’t even hear the baby or our 2 yr old. My husband realized I was dead to the world I was so tired because I never sleep thru the baby or toddlers crying/getting up. So he got up at 1am, 2 am, 3 am and 4am even though he had to wake up at 5 and get ready for work. Parenting requires teamwork or someone is going to get burnt out really quick like.
He would feed her at bedtime but then i was up with her. He worked and i stayed at home but was also in college. But when we had our second, he was on 3rd so I didn’t have a choice i had to get up.
Been there, still there 
. Finally had a talk with my husband that we both work full time and the night wakings should be both of us. Now if he’s off work he gets up with his and if he works I get up with him.
On dads day off he needs to at least, i was killing myself slowly when my son was born because i wasnt eating i wasnt sleeping and I wasn’t drinking properly because his father wouldn’t wake up with him, my grandmother actually started helping me because it got to the point where I started sleep walking again i was so sleep deprived
Elbow him in his soft parts until he gets up.
I got with my daughter’s dad when my son was 2 months old. He worked 2nd and 3rd shift and would only spend the night on the weekends when he had his 3rd shift off. He would wake up in the night with my son REMEMBER NOT HIS BIOLOGICAL CHILD and would only let me get up if he needed a butt change. He told me I deserved to sleep and I did enough during the day. If he can work 2 jobs everyday and still get up, so can your man.
If you’re a stay at home mom and he is working 7 days a week, it’s your job. If you are also working, then it should be taking turns.
I’ve always done it most of the time, even though my husband argued that I should let him get up with them. I’m a sahm and he has to leave for work by 6:30 AM. I’ve always rested during their nap time, so it’s no big deal for me to get up.
Whoever is a stay at home parent should because then its asking too much from the other parent to stay up the night and then go to work the next morning with little or no sleep. Who is gonna pay the bills if he/she loses the job . Unless obviosly its a situation where the baby doesnt sleep at all then the other parent can/should help out!
2 Likes
I have a 6… almost 7 week old. My husband works and I stay at home. My husband does the first late night feeding(2:30 am.) I do the feedings from then till he gets home. Other than that we split who gets up. Sometimes he just wakes me up if I am in a deep sleep, sometimes he just goes for it and let’s me sleep. On weekends he let’s me sleep & sleep in. He says while yes he goes to work, I not only pushed ab human out of me I also take care of him all day & while he plays his video game.
1 Like
My husband (who also works at 7am) gets up at least 3 times a week with baby and I get her the rest.
This is just what works for us but right now is the time for bonding.
1 Like
Really sad that this question had to be asked. It’s a shared responsibility but all relationships are different. Your husband needs to understand that you are not a robot, yes he works but that doesn’t me he shouldn’t help you. Taking care of a baby is much more demanding than working full time, he gets to clock out from work you don’t get to clock out from being a mom.
Both of us when they were babies. Hubby worked long shifts and early shifts but he never made it “my job”. The kids are both of our jobs.
Does he have days off? Its also understandable that he start to pitch in more at night every so often when youve been doing it on your own for so long