Whos job is it to ewake up with baby at night?

He helped make the baby right?? So therefore it’s both of your responsibility’s. It’s not a “job” either when you’re parents.

1 Like

50/50 cause it took 50/50 to make the baby.

2 Likes

We always used the rock, paper, scissors method of deciding.

We take turns, but since he was up longer than I was gaming then he would take care of the baby, Thankfully though all 3 of ours slept well through the night and would go back down when they ate

If I do not want to get up I pretend I’m really hard asleep :rofl:

3 Likes

Honestly I always have a “motherly instinct” to feel like I should get up. But I became exhausted real quick. It started playing on my mental health. I finally took up his offer to help me. He gets up for work at 5 and he still was willing to help me

2 Likes

Idk, me personally… I feel obligated as a mom to do mostly all of it day or night. My husband and I are on baby #4. Maybe in the beginning with baby 1 and 2, I felt some type of way and wanted him to help out more… but now I realize how quickly they grow and don’t want to miss a minute of it :smiling_face_with_three_hearts: Plus I’m better at it all anyways :laughing: He is also on cal 24/7… so he could get called out at any time…

2 Likes

If ur the stay at home parent I kinda feel like it’s ur job. That being said he should help on the weekends. My hubby runs the weekend shenanigans but he has to be up at 4 I can’t even imagine asking him to get up unless it was serious.

1 Like

I always got up…if I wasn’t home because of work he would, but since I’m the one working Always take the extra time with them. If I was over tired from getting up I’d say I’m taking a nap, and my husband would try to keep the older kids quiet so I actually could…

Baby has 2 parents. Both of you should split it.

2 Likes

I wake up as my partner wakes up at 4.30am to go to work, weekends I nap etc I wouldn’t expect him to wake.

1 Like

My exhusband was abusive. This was his attitude. He forcedme to breastfeed so he wouldn’t need to ever get up. I pumped, he still wouldn’t help. R U N.

Listen you’re both parents. You both are gonna have to find a groove to this. I understand most men are working when we have babies and need their rest but they can still wake up to get the baby. Its called balance. And no it isn’t your job, it’s both of yall job.

4 Likes

As a SAHM, I do. But days off he used to help change the diapers, bc i breastfed so he can’t help feed. Lol

Uuuhhhmm…he should help. Even if he changes diaper while you get ready to feed. You both made the baby so its both of yalls responsibility!

1 Like

It takes both to make the baby it should be both to take care of baby❤️

1 Like

Talk to your husband and you both decide who gets up with the baby.

I always did. Most husband’s don’t! I had two and neither one did.

You both made the baby. You are both parents. You both have a responsibility to the child.

1 Like

As a SAHM I’d try to do it all when my husband had to work, but you better believe when he was off he would take over. Some nights he even kept the baby in the living room so that way I could sleep all night uninterrupted.

4 Likes

SAHM’s need breaks too so my hubby better help if not he will starve and have dirty clothes

1 Like

Both of us work and both of us got up with our babies. I obviously did more when breastfeeding but when we switched to formula, and we both did or we switched out. Now they’re 4.5 and 2.5, so whoever they are calling for gets up. Potty or water can’t wait :grimacing: I work from home (since pre-Covid), so I have more flexibility, so I don’t expect much from him as far as housework goes but he will load/unload the dishwasher, vacuum/mop the floors, laundry, etc, if I ask him to do it. I take the kids to daycare/preschool and he picks them up. He plays with them while I cook dinner, gives them baths, basically takes care off their needs when I’m doing other stuff and vice versa. Maybe he could do the weekend nights, like Fri and Sat? This would give you the needed break. If you’re a SAHM, you already do so much and deserve a break, just like any other mom, working or not. Have a chat with him and see if he’d be willing. As far as who’s responsible? Well, he also made the choice to have a child, so he’s also responsible for any child care. Good luck :wink:

1 Like

I mostly get up . However if we both have work the next day and my daughter wakes more than once we take it in turns . Also on the weekends he sleeps on Saturdays and I sleep in on Sunday mornings . Over all I do most house work and baby care taking however if I need help I ask and he knows to do it or he has to listen to me loose my shit
If you’re exhausted u need to tell him one night a week Atleast to get up

Lol, back in my day, it was my job and to make supper, clean house, do laundry, make sure kids were ready for school and a full time job.

Bloody right he should help. Don’t let him get away with it!! He had the baby too you didn’t make it alone…

1 Like

I’m a stay at home mom ,My husband works shifts. And he will get up at night. I feel it’s fair since I have the baby 99% of the day. He’s been getting up at night even though he has to wake up at 5am. Or even if he only got home from work at 11pm. I’m seriously grateful for that.

1 Like

Its not a job (to wake up to yer own damn kid)

My three were all nursed on Mother’s milk, so when they were hungry it had to be me. My hubs pitched in with many chores & would often change & burp the baby, bring it to me for feeding etc. All while running a business which often required him to be out of the house by 6 AM. He did this with all three kids because he’s a wonderful human being as well as a loving husband & Father. For those of you who aren’t blessed with a man like this, I am truly sorry.

1 Like

You should share response ability but if you stay home and he works then he should let you get a break to rest or sleep

Have him do the first shift at least if he has to get up at 7, then you get some sleep and he contributes a little. Hang in there mama!

My eldest kids dad had to get up at 4am. It would vary but mostly he took the later night shifts closer to when he had to get up. (My kids were also super good sleepers from birth though)

My youngest child her dad told me the same thing! “Its my job” it literally got to the point where when he did want to help i didn’t want it. Id already be awake 5 mins before i knew the baby was going to cry,etc… Shes now 1 and im still jumping up in the middle of the night (although half the time im hearing shit and she still sleeping)

If he’s using the excuse that ‘it’s your job’. He wasn’t ready for a baby.
You should be a team helping each other to raise the child so that you make it easier on each other.

1 Like

Depends on if you work or stay home, in my opinion. If he goes to work everyday and you stay home then you should be getting up with the baby at night SPECIALLY on nights he works the next day. But like I said that my opinion

8 Likes

We both work. We have 5 kids I got up with every single one every single time

I say it’s teamwork. While he works during the day you’re also caring for the baby & doing other house works. A little help from him from time to time wouldn’t really hurt.

Y’all BOTH made that baby,Idc who works and who doesn’t. Y’all should both be doing the same as the other. My first son was born we started out taking turns at night when he woke up,but after the first week or so,my spouse decided not to wake me up and instead just took night duty for himself even though he still had work the next day. Our son however started sleeping through the night after a week old,so thankfully my spouse still didn’t have to get up,unless he did wake up. Even now with our son almost 2, he works and I go to school during the day,he still gets up and let’s me sleep. But depending on how many times he wakes up,I get up after several times of him getting up to make sure he stills gets his sleep best he can.

Do you stay home? And him work? If so I believe you should be getting up. However weekends he can help by letting u sleep in etc. Thats how we worked it. I did M-F and i got to sleep in while he woke up in the AM for baby. However if he was getting ready for work and baby got up hed bring baby in for me to feed and wed fall back asleep after he was gone.

I’m a stay at home mom and my fiance works 3rd shift… I take the kids to bed and he takes care of them when he gets home if they need anything.

My kids dad is a stay at home dad and I go to work. On the 2 days I have to leave the house by 5 am I get to sleep those nights and on my 2 days off he sleeps and the other 3 we play tock paper scissors or toss a coin to see who wakes up.

1 Like

Put the baby in bed with him and go back to sleep in the baby’s crib (hopefully, in this case, on the opposite side of the house) :rofl::rofl:

I’m a stay at home Mom. He works a lot of overtime almost everyday I get up with the baby. I honestly don’t mind. He works hard for us everyday so I let him sleep. He’d get up if I asked but I don’t because I know he’s tired from working all day everyday. I get exhausted yes, and not everyday is sunshine and rainbows but I don’t expect him to wake up with the baby after he’s worked all day. On weekends if he has off he will get up in the morning with the kids and let me sleep in. With our first son he was home a lot more and did do a lot of the nighttime feedings we would take turns every other day. But with our second since he works so much now I don’t expect him to or ask him to .

1 Like

The feeling of being loved takes away so much burden from our shoulder. I had all this but I made a big mistake and my Lover left me for over 6 months I was lonely, sad and devastated luckily I was directed to a very kind and powerful man
Dr ebhome who help me in bringing back my Lover and now he loves me far more than ever am so happy with life now thank you so much Dr ebhome and get any kind of help you want through his email: Doctorebhome@gmail.com and whatsapp him +2348163548574

Husband did and also had to be at work at 7 with all three girls :heart: Love you babe

I am a sahm. My husband helps with our kids 3 days a week he is off. The 4 days he works. 2 I do it all because he works thirds. The other 2 he will put our toddler to bed. My “break” is normally Wednesdays. I sleep in while he does the morning out the door and toddler feeding. Is it how I would do it no but kids all get where and what they need

I think all the comments of stay at home moms who say make their working man get up at night are so selfish. I’m sorry if this offends anyone. My husband literally works 5am-5pm and wakes up at 3:30 to go. I stay at home. You mean to tell me I should make him get up at night time so I can sleep when I literally can have the opportunity to nap anytime I want all day? That’s so selfish. I am a mom of 3 full time kiddos I’ll add in as well. My 4 month old usually goes to bed around 7:30-8, I am asleep by 8:30-9, he usually wakes up at 2:30-3:30 and then again at 7am and is up for the day. Sometimes like tonight he woke up at 12:30 and will probably wake again at 4:30 and then 7-7:30 his normal time. It is not that bad to get up. It’s also super quick for me to just do it as I have a routine. He wakes up, I make bottle, change diaper, feed and back to sleep for him. Usually takes 15 mins tops. Then I’m back to sleep.

8 Likes

When my kids were babies and i was staying home, i did all night shifts. He got the first morning bottle for the baby.
I didnt think it was right he got up when he went to work all day to support us.
When I was working we switched off.

I did everything an old school ‘housewife’ did, left him, and I would now expect them to get up during the night, when they don’t have work the next day, so I’d get a break, on the condition bubs takes a bottle and isn’t just on boob.

Okay so this is just my opinion , yes if you are a stay at home mother you should get up with the baby more cause he works BUT it is YALLS child . Not just his , y’all both had a child together , so yes I agree he should help and especially if y’all both work it should be split how y’all do that but even if you stay at home when you need a break he should help out because that itself is a full time job and you need to take care of yourself to be a good momma .

1 Like

Depends, my husband got up with the kids most of the time and we both worked but he deals better with less sleep and always has. We just always worked it on if you needed sleep, you go sleep and that’s it. It’s life. Work it out.

I must of just got really lucky my husband works and I’m a stay at home Mum but with every one of our 4 children he took turns one night I got up and the next night he did I didn’t even ask him to he just wanted to when we brought our first baby home

My husband is a truck driving and gets up at 4 most morning yet he still gets up to our girls and when they where a lot litter he would come home after working all week and being away some night and swaps sides of the bed with me and get up to them so I could get sleep I am sorry weather he gets up at 7 for work or not doesn’t excuse he from helping it is his child also he helped make your baby he needs to help look after your baby

1 Like

My ex would always wake up with our son and I really appreciated that because he never made me feel bad able it. I would still wake up too because I chose to breastfeed, but he would comfort our son and put him back to bed when I was done.

I work from home and typically got to sleep in later, so i never asked my husband for help at night.

I do all of the night shifts. He works. I don’t.

My husband is the stay at home parent as it was my choice to be the working parent to allow my husband to have a rest from working and being the provider. I have a 18 month old boy and a 7 month old girl. I wake up for my girl because I still breast feed and she wakes some times up to 4-5 times a night and that’s solely by choice because I dont get to see her during the day while working. My 18month old boy can sometimes wake up during the night and his dad does him because he loves his dads cuddles more. But I honestly think it should be shared as both jobs are very hard. Being a stay at home parent is just as hard as being the working parent. Why should the stay at home parent always be the one who has to do everything. It’s a partnership and they have both a dad and mum, so the load should be shared. Just my opinion.

5 Likes

My man works 5am to 5pm and I never expected him to help out but on his days off he is full baby duty without me even asking he only wakes me up to make bottle well he grabs baby and I’m back to sleep. And I dont mind waking with the baby but on his off days when he’s on baby duty I appreciate him so much more. But like I said I never expected him to do it.

2 Likes

If you are a stay at home mom, and your husband goes to work full time, then it is your job, at least on the days your husband works, because you choose to stay home and take care of the kids as your “job”.

Doesn’t matter what time he works honestly take shifts each time baby wakes up it’s both parents I work mornings he works night and when he’s off he takes care of the kids all day only time I’ll tell him no I got tonight you had them all day but he’ll still get up since he’s up any ways (night person)

I’ve allways got up and still do

Who gets up is a decision you need to decide together. I got up when I was on leave because he was working outside of the home. When I went back to work, I still got up (breastfeeding)…and he did the early mornings on the weekends. It’s what worked well for us :woman_shrugging:

you can ask if they can take over for a few nights a month space them out? Parents are always tired but being supportive is what’s best too.

I work almost everyday and my husband is the stay at home dad but 90% of the time I am up with our baby

I wake up with the baby sunday through Thursday since he works but Friday and Saturday he wakes up and helps. It is not your job.

On maternity leave, I did. When I went back to work, we’d alternate getting up.

1 Like

I think it’s fine for him to get up once in the evening . But , mostly you should since you can nap when the baby naps and he can’t

If he’s working and you’re not - it’s your responsibility. On his days off, I would suggest taking it in turns. The multiple times a night thing doesn’t last forever don’t worry. Don’t waste your energy arguing over it x

2 Likes

Blessed that I have a husband who just loved his babies, was always up with them whether he worked or not… I worked most of the time so he was mostly the one up at nights.

I wish I would’ve woken up more at night.

1 Like

I get up with baby, hubby works at 5am. I breastfeed so majority of the time she wouldn’t want him anyways lol. On the very very very hard nights, he’s helped. He always wants to help, and always asks why I don’t wake him up lol. I prefer if at least one of us gets a full night sleep. If we are both so tired the next day things can be tough.

I always got up to my babies dad worked

I get up through the week when my husband works
And he gets up on the weekend when I go to work.

…and you’re a stay at home mom? :eyes::eyes::eyes::eyes:

2 Likes

Consider cosleeping if you can create a safe space for little one and are following the Lullaby Trust safe seven rules.

I started to do so at around 6 months and wish I had done it sooner. We both (myself and little one) get such better sleep and I can be a better mum in the daytime because of this.

I always tried to since my husband worked but if I was to tired of needed his help cause of a rough night he did his best to help

2 Likes

It’s both of your responsibility. Parenting isn’t a job it’s a life choice that you both made. If he won’t help, start making time in the day so you can rest when baby does, remember self care is important, you’ve housed and birthed a baby it takes time to adjust so make things as easy as you can for you and little one Tiredness can affect your mental and physical health so if you do have someone you trust ask for help if you need it :heart:

1 Like

Both of you. One does a bottle, the other one gets the baby changed, whoever feeds them and then put them back to bed. That’s how we did it. I feel your frustration though, mine never bothered getting up in the night after going back to work.

I get up with Kaleb on weekdays as kev works and I’m at home but weekends I make him get up with him at least 1 night or I do it and get him to get up woth him in morning and have a extra couple hours, but it’s wrong he says it’s your job, it’s his baby too and us stay at home mums do just as much if not more work than they do, plus they get time out we don’t. My partner was like this till I had major surgery and could pick my baby up for 2 weeks and had to rest, kev cracked and broke down because he couldn’t cope with it all so now he is much more respectful xx

I throw bottles at him in the middle of the night. :joy: He gets up and makes them hands it to me and goes back to sleep. We co sleep which helps alot. We both work but I’m up with the kids in the morning. The night’s his insomnia is bad hell do it.

1 Like

I’m the sahm so I do. But he would get up early and let me sleep.

If you both have to be up for work you alternate. If only one is working the one that is not working gets up.

3 Likes

I would be considerate of him. He has to wake up early for work. You should be the one getting up with the baby so that your husband can do his job without falling asleep.

1 Like

What’s your work schedule? When our daughter was born I would get up at night if my husband was the one getting up early. On weekends he would get up because he could sleep in amd I usually worked mornings on weekends. If we where both off the next day then we would take turns. With this baby I’m a stay at home mom and my husband is away 8 days at a time and home for 5 for work. So when he is home I will get up all night the first amd last day so he can get a good rest after being gone at work for so long and refreshed for when he goes back to work. On those days he will get up when the baby gets up and let me sleep in. The rest of the time I make do it all night for a few days and sometimes we take turns. Neither of us really complain much.

I always got up as i could always nap with baby in the day

1 Like

My partner comes in from a night shift and will feed baby so i can sleep
working or not its his responsibilty too you just didnt make the baby on your own its a shared roll regardless my partner works 6 nights a week like he said theres no excuse not too

When my babes was waking at night my boyfriend and I alternated nights. Wed do every other night. So it was fair. There were times id wake him or hed wake me because our babes wouldnt stop crying and we needed help but that was very rare but wed wake and help. My son is 20 months now he rarely wakes at night. If he does who ever hears him gets up he mainly needs a diaper. There are some nights hes like babe can you go do it or im like babe will you. Its our child so we share the responsibilty. He should be helping you

I get up at night when she wakes up. If I can’t get her to go back to sleep, I move to the living room with her so we don’t wake him. He works super early and I can sleep during the day. If I work, I can always squeeze a nap in before my shift at night

Yeh it’s not just my baby, my husband has always been really good at helping with the night feeds in our last babies, due another in a few months and I know he will be the same. Or he gets the bottle ready and il feed or vice versa. He works 6 days a week also. He always says he appreciates everything us mothers do as knows it’s not easy for us. We ain’t in the 1940s anymore

1 Like

If a woman has children then she is working can’t believe so many are saying that a stay at home mum isn’t a job I thought that old school ideaology was gone. Share the feeds​:hugs::slightly_smiling_face::v:

3 Likes

I always got up with our son and worked fulltime (I suffered hard from PPD). I warned him, with #2 on board, he will be sharing more of the duties when August rolls around. I will be fair but the duties will be more shared.

Both. U both made the baby. That baby is 100% dependent on both of u.
These posts actually make me sad and very thankful for my husband. I could never imagine someone saying this or feeling that your sleep and sanity don’t matter. My husband may be a sound sleeper, but he is up when need be.

1 Like

It’s not a job, it’s your responsibility. Both of the parent’s if lucky enough to have both. And whoever happens to get woken up by baby 1st should be responsible at the time it’s needed. Regardless of position, whether work or sahm, if one of you doesn’t feed the child, what would happen? But guess arguing over whose “job” it is, is the important part.

My husband works outside the home, and I am home with the kids and he still helps me if the baby is up. We just take turns. Working at home Is equally exhausting as working outside the home. So, they are OUR children, OUR responsibility. He’s never once given me grief or made me feel bad for asking for help. I think a conversation could be had to make him see your point of view.

Well I was on maternity leave but my hubby was still at work and he would still get up at night with baby and take a turn. All these men out here thinking that we should not have a break because we at home is absolutely ridiculous. We both decided to have this baby so its both of our responsibilities. Thankfully my hubby is wonderful and makes all the effort he can even though he was also tired from work.

1 Like

My ex husband and I both got up. He changed the diaper and I fed the babies. (I breastfed so it made sense.) He had to work as well, but that was the compromise we came up with. Maybe you and your husband can come up with a compromise of some sort.

You both made that baby so you both share the responsibility. I understand that he works but when his shift is over, he comes home and relaxes. A mother’s job is 24/7.you cook, clean, take care of hubby’s needs and on top of that, you nurture and protect your child. For him to get up once to see to baby every 2nd night or so would be an absolute blessing to your exhausted body and soul.

I have 4 children and got up with every single one of them by myself. It would be nice if he did a few times as well. If you’re home and he works then he sleeps and you get up with the baby. Doing that way is just respect because you can sleep during the day when the baby sleeps.

2 Likes

My husband was great and still is. We did it together one would comforted and changed the baby while the other got the formula ready. We worked as a team when they were babies and through the years as they grew up into great men. Now we do the same when we have our grandkids.

1 Like

My husband did it on his days off and i did it when he went to work. If hes off work he better be helping. He made that baby too.

1 Like

Both of us. It’s OUR baby and so we both take responsibility. Even when he was working and I was home on maternity leave, we still shared duties.

2 Likes

I got up 99.9999% of the time with all of our kid’s. It’s just the way it worked out. Not to say that he didn’t do other thing’s around the home, just that that one landed on me.

1 Like