Whos job is it to ewake up with baby at night?

I generally do it because my husband gets up earlier then I do, and he has a driving job. He will get up with her though if I ask him to.
We also end up co-sleeping usually.
She turns 1 on Wednesday.

If you are a stay at home mom it’s absolutely your job to get up unless he’s off the next day. He needs sleep to work and earn money for the house. If you both work then rotate.

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Excuse me? Last time I checked, it takes two to make a baby. Newsflash husband. It also takes two to raise it. My husband has always shared the nights. Even when I was on maternity leave. From newborn stage on. Why? Because he knows it’s exhausting and he doesn’t want me to carry the entire burden by myself. Mine has to work daily at 6 am. Your husband sounds like an ass and sounds lazy. Don’t put up with it. He shouldn’t get to take the backseat in raising your child. Children need both parents, NOW. If you allow that bullshit attitude, you’re setting yourself up for more issues down the road. This needs to be a team effort, not just you, or your resentment will only continue to grow while he slacks off. Complete and utter bullshit if you ask me.

It should be split. U both made the baby and yes maybe the guy or woman goes to aork but should still be equal as much as possible.

When my kids were little we both did my husband would try to calm them down while I made the bottle

My husband and I both worked and we had 2 that 14 mths apart. For 3 years we moved in a haze…it was crazy but we made it.

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I did all the nights.
My hubby works 3am to 4pm.
I was off on maternity leave.
I took that part on, because I could nap throughout the day. He still needed to function for work and 2 hours travel. I wanted him alert on the job site and the road for potential dangers so he’d be safe.
If I couldnt deal, waking him for help was never an issue. But I just chose not to.
I’m not for the ideology that its a woman’s job. I just actually didn’t mind. And my baby really did prefer me. :rofl:
Sleep deprivation is a real thing.
So its important for him to step in when you can’t. Thats his JOB if it needs to be said.
It can be dangerous for you, you can experience delirium from lack of sleep. And it also doesn’t start you off with alot of patience. Which can result in harm. Take care of yourself. Thats important. And maybe express to him how important it is that you do get adequate sleep too.
Maybe sharing nights. He takes the first 4 hours, and you the last 4.
Compromise mama. Thats what relationships are about. And that’s what your child will require throughout life.

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If my husband worked at 7 am then I would get up. He is doing his bit by working to support the family

Lols… whining about something that tons of women around the world do completely on their own because the guys they fucked are deadbeats.

He should help u take turns

Both parents. Duh. I had twins and hubby worked 11hr days and he still got up to help. Its part of being a parent. YOU DO IT AS A TEAM.

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We took turns. We took the night in shifts. We each got at least 4 hours of sleep.

Maybe rotate nights or the first half until midnight he gets up (so he can get some solid sleep before he has to get up) and then you get up the 2nd half. You both made the baby its both your responsibility. I get the being completely exhausted thing as im a single mom of 2 (5 year old and 7 month old) but he’s the dad and he needs to help.

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I always get up even on his nights off.

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My husband is up at 4:30 to go to work as a driver so during the week I will 100% get up with the baby as his job is dangerous and he needs his rest…now when he gets home or during the weekends I expect help

Some of these comments. It is both of your responsibility. You BOTH made that human being. SMDH…and everyone wonders why post partum is hard to talk about and women lose their life to it. Just look at the women in here commenting.

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If you are going to complain about the time you owe the baby why have one? Babies are blessings not like washing dishes or sweeping the floor. I wouldn’t want someone caring for my children if they resent it. The baby knows

When i was home on maternity leave i got up and napped when the baby napped. On weekends he would get up and let me sleep. When we both worked we alternated nights and sleeping in on weekends.

We have 3 kids the oldest is about the be 11 the youngest is 5. The first week with our first I tried to do it all because I wanted to get used to it because my husband went back to work. A couple days into it my husband said give me that baby crazy lady and go to bed. We did every other night since then so one of us could sleep. As our oldest got older it turned into who put him to bed while the other had the baby. Then we added the third and one night he puts the boys to bed while I put our daughter to bed then we switch the next night. People are still shocked he got up every other night with the babies. Even when breast feeding was discussed he asked if I could pump so he could still get up to feed in his nights.

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Usually it’s me as I am a stay at home mom but there is times that he goes to get little man. When I had my c-section he worked and did all the getting up :blue_heart:

That’s literally your job as a stay at home mom. You tend to the house and the kids. There is no point in both parents getting up to feed 1 baby. Make a bottle or pull out your tit. Or you know, don’t have kids if you don’t want to take care of them :woman_shrugging:t2:

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Well being as you’re home and he works at 7 I’d say you get up and perhaps on weekends or his days off make him get up

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My hubs only gets up with baby when he doesn’t work the next day. He’s an emt and it’s very important he rests before 24 hr shifts. But I’m also a stay at home mom so I get to sleep until the baby gets up in the morning and he doesnt

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Your momma get your fuckin ass up

Theres honestly not enough info here?

I’ve been accross the board. I worked while my ex stayed home. I was a single parent (my ex was not involved af all). My (now) husband and I both worked. I stayed home while my (now) husband worked. And over the last couple years theres been times when we were both home. I feel like I’ve got a pretty good perspective here.

So when I was working while my ex stayed home…he straight refused to get up with the baby. I was up with him then turning around and working sometimes 12 hour days.
I was EXHAUSTED…and you know what? My performance at work suffered. I missed raises. I even had my hours significantly cut.
All while he was home…sleeping/resting/relaxing/enjoying himself when the baby slept…while he expected me to drive myself into the ground. I was wrote up for careless mistakes because I was just so damn exhausted. And I got to a point that I hated my (ex) husband. Literally hated him.
As a stay at home mom…I get it…I get being overwhelmed and tired. It’s ok to want/need dad’s help…as the other parent he should help.
However, when hes helping is the big “question” here.
Dont ask him to help in ways that could compromise or affect his employment. Trust me. You’d like that less than being tired.
Instead focus on asking for help…on his days/nights off…after work…and maybe in the mornings after he gets up before he goes to work.

The first week at home hubby got the baby at night, yes after working, because I had a c-section and moving sucked. Daytime was easier for me. But after the first week we switched every couple of nights so we both could get rest and weekends we alternated who got up

My husband worked and I stayed home, so I got up. When we wasn’t working and I was, I still got up. That was frustrating but if he’s working and you’re at home I believe you should get up. If you’re both working then both.

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My husband works and I stay home with our kids (3.5 & 1.5). We did shifts at night. I would go to bed at 7:30-8 with our oldest and then woke up at 2-3am with the baby and just stayed up, and he would sleep until he had to get up for work. We did that until my youngest was 6months old and slept through the night

I get up with our baby. My bf works and so do I but his job is harder, and he works longer days plus i usually breast feed

I breastfed so normally I got up but when I just had enough I’d wake my husband and his useless nipples up and hand him a bottle. He made them too.

I may be still resentful that he got all the sleep.

Go get a job so you have an excuse too not to wake up servers times a night too like he does, than you both can take turns waking up with the baby.

Depends on the couple. I’d rather wake up with baby. He can’t stay awake

I did the first year because of breast feeding but he would sometimes get up with me grab me a water my phone or tv remote and now he gets up more with her because he’s a lighter sleeper she’s 2 1/2 and still wakes up once or twice a night if I hear her I get up we try to split that responsibility even with me as a stay at home mom he respects that I work as hard as he does I just don’t get paid and I need to sleep too

So he gets up at 5/6 to be at work at 7?
If your home, i feel like you should get up. With new babies, you sleep when they sleep. If he has to get up for work the next day, let him sleep.

Both. He works and I’m home with three kids (two doing online learning). In the very beginning he would get up with me as I couldn’t lift baby while recovering from a cesarean. After a bit I’d let him sleep. Now she’s five months and still in the bassinet next to me… he gets up to pee anyways so he will get her, change her and then hand her to me for feeding. :heart:. Every night is different… maybe she sleeps through, maybe I get up and he sleeps or maybe he’s up… either way it’s a partnership full of love and respect.

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Well the way it works in our house is we made up a shift chart and it seems to be going pretty good like my husband will work all day and when he gets home he stays up too look after our son till 12 well I sleep then I get up at 12 and take over. And during the day I just make sure he isn’t sleeping all day so he is easier to deal with at night. I find that a little unfair that your husband just puts it all on you like nahh dude you made this little bean too get off your ass and start acting like a dad

I get up with my kids because he works, but sometimes on weekends he helps me out.

If the man has to work you’d hardly expect him to get up through the night with the baby!!! By all means do a night when he has a day off of course but not when he has to work.

Working or not we Took it in turns to get up with our son xx

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I find it funny that just because a man works hes not expected to get up and share responsibilities. When I had my child I worked full time and still got up every two hours. My dead beat ex wasn’t working at the time and refused to get up. I feel that it is a shared responsibility and not just for the mother. Mothers need rest just as much as fathers do. Men arent held accountable because they’re providers?? Non sense! I’ve been a provider and caregiver since day 1 and if I can do it you best believe a man can too!!

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BOTH. He’s the damn parent too… doesn’t matter if he works or not… my husband always got up even if I got up. He always helped.

I got up at night because my husband got up at 5 to go to work, and he wouldn’t get home till 6 that night. When he would get home he would help out. But my husbands job was a hard labor job. Not a desk job. I think it would be different if he sat down all day

I am pregnant right now, and stay home, so I plan on doing the night feedings. Me and my hubby have talked and he will do the last feeding of the night since he stays up late and I will wake up throughout the night. :woman_shrugging:t2: If I am a stay at home mom I feel like I should be the one to do it. Just my opinion

I always get up with my son. He only ever wants me in the middle of the night so why waste time telling my husband to get him when he’s just gonna come back and tell me our son wants me :woman_shrugging:t2: when we first came home from the hospital, we switched every other time . Then he went back to work and i felt bad having him get up when he had to work the next morning. Then on the weekends, he let’s me sleep in to catch up on the week of getting up.

Teach the baby the first words “Da Da”, worked for me.

when my kids where babies I would get up. hubby got up super early and it’s not far to him. on days off he would help or let.me sleep in and do morning with baby.

I have four and my husband always worked. He would get up at 3-4 am. I am a stay at home mom, and would not expect for him to get up if he works. Even if he is off I still get up. It kinda is my job. He will wake me up and tell.me he hears the baby then I would get up and do the feedings. Plus I was just better at soothing the baby and didnt want him to get frustrated.

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Girl there’s not a handbook to this. And honestly each man is different if your baby is attached to you at night than by all means you gota do what ya gota do. If you feel your husband isn’t helping enough. Well you know what your husband is about imand I’m sure if he’s dominate in Parenting than he is in love as well. Just handle your business before you k ow it you will realize your way as a mother is best anyway lol

I have a 19 month old, but when she was a newborn my man and I would take turns getting up with her or take 4-6 hour shifts. He did work and still helped out. Now that she’s older and sleeps throughout the night, I get up with her on the nights he works. Then on weekends we swap days. That is bullshit that he puts all of that on you, but in the end your child will have bonded with you more and will come to you for more things because of that bond

Nah , he has to help cause people think staying at home with kids is not a job as well and it is , so he has to do an effort as well , right now I’m not working but I’m taking care of my daughter whole day and even if she wakes up in the middle of the night my husband ( who leaves at 5am for work ) wakes up and takes care of her …so No it is also his job

We traded off. Weekends so Friday night and Saturday nights were all him and during the week it was me.

When my boys were younger i would get up with them to breast feed them. N once they were on formula i would wake up my bf and ask him to make a bottle… He did but then there were times he would wake up so i did it myself lol

You didn’t mention if you work or not… if you don’t then yes it’s your job

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Hubby and I wake up together and help each other crazy right but how in the world can you stay sleeping with a crying baby neither of us do so we help each other one warms up the breast milk in a bottle and the other calms baby one feeds him and the other rocks him to bed after the bottle but as soon as he gets home he gets the kids since I’m exclusively pumping

My hubby works, Im a SAHM so I get up with the baby every.single.time. But he lets me nap when hes home.

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In my house hold on days my husband didn’t have to work he got up with baby no matter how manny times bit on days he works then NO

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2 kids, 2 parents - switch every night between infant and toddler. From bedtime, wake up in night and wake up in morning

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We switched every other feeding. He still got up and worked. I stayed at home. He understood that I needed to have rest also to be able to take care of them and be the best I could. That’s hard to do when you are drained. He wanted to though. That’s a major factor. To me, it sounds like he doesn’t care about your well being also.

I always woke up with our son

I was breastfeeding for 6 months
And if my man could feed him that way I’m sure he would but once our son got on bottles I still woke up every time
But his father got to wake up with him in the morning so I could get a minute of sleep

My husband agreed to help me on the weekends when he didn’t have to work and at least let me sleep in one of those days. Since I was sahm I did majority of everything. Still do now and our son is 3

I prefer getting up with the baby. If I need help I ask for it and he helps groggy but happily.

The parent that loves the baby the most…:smirk::smirk::wink:

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I always did with my daughter because she was breastfed. But also we mostly bedshared so it was just pulling a boob out.

My husband is a night owl and I’m not, so he takes the baby from 8 or so until the baby wakes up for his middle of the night feeding, so anywhere from 1 to 3 a.m. and I take the baby the rest of the night. He works, and I work from home, but not regularly at the moment. He knows it’s just as important for me to get a solid stretch of sleep just as much as it is for him.

Me and my husband both work he has to be at work by 3 on Monday and 4 the rest of the week. I get up with him at night during the week but on the weekends he will let me sleep and he will get up with him.

My husband works and has an extremely hard time sleeping anyway and he gets up with our son, 19 mos, and has since day one. I feel that both parents should and sometimes one more than the other if they’ve had a hard day or just need the sleep one night. You both made that precious baby.

Do you work? If not he’s right it is your job! If you both work the responsibility should be shared

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I meannn… if your not working and he is then you but if you both working then both of you!

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I was a single mom through both my pregnancies and years after. Didn’t have much of a choice at my house.

With his mindset you’re literally screwed. 17 years I did the wake up thing with all five kids— it shouldn’t be a fight- he should want to help you… hindsight’s 2020- I would’ve reevaluated things had I seen them for what they were…

If it’s your job tell your husband that he should pay you because he doesn’t help !

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I said since I wasn’t working and my husband was…then I get up with the baby at night bc have all day to nap on and off when the baby did. Not fair to ask him to get up with the baby if you don’t work and he does. If both work,then both should get up. On weekends…my husband would take the baby from 8 am when he woke up until noon. Thrn I took back over. Kept premade bottles in fridge for him to put in bottle warmer so his job was easier.

My husband gets up and gets me a warm bottle while I change him. He’ll go back to sleep right away and I feed and put the baby back to bed. I appreciate that a lot. Luckily the baby sleeps well so it was only twice and now once a night. He’s responsible if our four year old gets up during the night but she rarely ever does.

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I choose to get up with my baby. My husband has to be at work earlier than me. He sometimes gets off before me so he helps durning the day. He’s offer to do night feedings but my son prefers his momma at night lol

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My husband would do the earlier night feedings and I did the rest mainly because 1) I can function on less sleep in general and 2) he drives a truck for a living and it’s way more dangerous for him to be sleep deprived.

That said when he doesn’t have to be up for 5AM I totally kick him out of bed to deal with the kids even when he grumbles about how he doesn’t see why we should both be awake - it’s a game of balance :upside_down_face:

Both? But I didn’t have much need for him since I just boob them back to sleep. He was my snack/water/tea guy, still is and my girls are toddlers. I can call on him whenever though. I must be doing this SAHM thing wrong because in our house that just means I’m the primary WHILE he’s working. Taking care of the kids and the house is both of our responsibility.

Equal parenting in my house.

We had a schedule, before midnight he got up with the baby, after midnight I got up with the baby(he was up by 5:00AM for work).

I get up more often 2/3 times my son wakes up. My bf feeds our son the 1/3 times just so I don’t get overwhelmed. Your husband should do it at least once to give your mind a break.

I think it depends on your situation and figuring out what works for you. It’s his child too regardless if he works or not, he should still help if you NEED a break. Having no help with a partner is so emotionally and mentally draining, if the lack of sleep is effecting your mental health, then he needs to help, and you need to tell him if that’s what’s going on. If your able to nap during the day with baby, do it! The mess can always wait. We all need a break sometime. He probably has days off, that I’m assuming he still expects the same, but that’s when he should be letting you take care of yourself. Momma can’t be the best momma if she can’t ever put herself first. My hubby is a fishermen, he’s gone 14 days home 6, so our situation is different.

When my ex and I had our daughter we had a deal i got up during the week as he has work, the weekends he got up so i could also sleep. #teamwork
To this day we co parent like a boss!