Why does my 10-year-old throw tantrums?

Anybody else have a 10 year old that throws themselves on the ground kicking and screaming? When they don’t get their way or told no. Or doesn’t want to do something when asked. Simple things such as showering,doing homework, and sharing toys with younger siblings. Anyone else go through hours n hours of screaming & pulling their hair out etc. how would you handle this? I tried all of the following. -counseling. -grounded. -stuff taken away- time out. Any other things? Please no judgement.

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Have a police officer come to the house to talk to him to see why he is doing these things

Sounds much like my 7 year old

Not to scare him but to make him listen

Counselor should’ve already put in requests for outside services, talk w/them. If they won’t put in the requests find a new counselor.

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When they start screaming throw a cup of water on them

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Spray him with a spray bottle like a kitty.

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Good old fashioned ass whoopin’:person_shrugging:

Worked for me growing up. I did the same stuff at that age. Drama. Drama drama drama. Got my ass whooped and sent to my room. When I was done throwing my fit I still had to do the thing I threw the fit about in the first place.

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Get on the floor beside him and act like him, when he looks at you crazy say “exactly, embarrassing isn’t it”… Or tell him next time he does it you’ll record it and show his friends how he acts…

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Wow. Some of these “suggestions” are ridiculous. Embarrassment and belittling your child is horrible.

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Have u tried whoopin tht a$$ :woman_shrugging::woman_shrugging::woman_shrugging:

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Does he watch youtube?

Have you seen a psychologist? Or a psychiatrist? Sounds like a little more going on then behavior

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When’s the last time he had a good whooping???

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Just walk away, & let them have there fits. They will soon stop

What the fuck :joy: he’s not a cat or fire. Why are we dousing the kid in water :joy:

My 2 year old does but I wish the hell they would try that mess at 10! I would get on the floor and kick and scream with him

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I would have him tested for asd. Btw I have a son and my friends son is asd their both super intelligent so sometimes only those types of behaviors are the only symptoms you ever see.

Is always so disgusting to see people suggest hitting a child. :nauseated_face::nauseated_face::nauseated_face:
You’re :wastebasket:.

Talk to him like the person with feelings he is. Sometimes they have a hard time expressing how they feel, aren’t Mature enough to put it into words for you to understand.

Is something going on at school? Are you and dad separated, and s/he is not handling it well?
Has a therapist to talk things out with, been explored?

There are ways to help :slightly_smiling_face:

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If this is an ongoing behavior that is still going on at age 10 consider having your child evaluated for autism spectrum disorder.

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Don’t judge, lest you be judged also…IN OTHER WORDS, DON’T SPEAK, UNLESS YOU’ VE BEEN THROUGH IT!!!

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You need a great support network of friends and family to help support you.

What you allow is what will continue. A good old fashioned woodshed would stop it very quickly.

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I’d start whipping that ass

Record him and let him watch himself.

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Not all children mature at the same rate … physically, mentally or emotionally. It sounds like your child has a hard time controlling and expressing their feelings. Not all kids who act out are being brats.
Before you punish your child please talk to a doctor or psychologist about the behavior to see if there is an undying issue. There are many conditions that can make a child act this way at that age.

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Embarrassment and belittling? We wouldn’t want to hurt the child’s feelings now would we? Here is what worked for me. Everything was removed from their bedroom but bed and clothes. No entertainment devices period. Bad behavior is not condoned or rewarded. Good behavior is rewarded by earning their things back. If that does not work then I would tan their butt. Children need to know who is in charge.

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I have an 8 year old boy. Keep in mind I’m a single mom so no dad around to lay the law mama has to. He is the most well behaved child I have ever met! He does what I ask and does it the first time no issue. My secret is I spank his butt with a belt and don’t take no crap from him. However I never really have to spank him anymore because he is so well behaved.

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:raising_hand_woman::raising_hand_woman::raising_hand_woman::raising_hand_woman::raising_hand_woman:

10 year old… That child needs a good old fashion ass whooping. I wish my 12 year old would do some shit like that :joy::joy::joy:

I have a 10 year that has done this and more. It finally got to the point where I took him to the doctor got a referral to a phycologists and they diagnosed him with ADHD, ODD and anxiety. He doesn’t know how to control it. They did give him medication and I was very very concerned about that. However his grades in school improves 10000000% he was having comprehension issues. H can only listen to 1 direction at a time and we work on that. I got him help because not only was I ripping my hair out. H agreed that he needed help. So far its been 5 months and the tantrums the yelling all of that has gone down. He reads allot more and does chores and plays with others better then what he use to.

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Straight jacket and put into bedroom. No TV. No snacks. No video games. Personally walk him to the bathroom. He’ll get the picture eventually.

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It is ridiculous for a 10 year old to act that way. Maybe a 5 year old but not a 10 year old. Put your foot down. My 8 year old son would never ever act that way. He knows better!

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Walkaway everybody going to another room when he stops walk out and say are you finished now and then go about like nothing happened see how that does when he doesn’t get a reaction maybe he’ll get tired of trying

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Ignore
Advise consequences and follow through on them
They need to know you mean it.

I think he should be evaluated by a doctor. The advice to ignore the behavior is good if all he wants is attention. I know that is hard to do.

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Anger issues? I would recommend a therapist. Make sure everything is ok at school. I have a 10 yr old daughter who was acting out because of issues in school. Good luck

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My son was different than other kids his age and still is.I finally got his Dr too listen in the 3rd grade.He has Sensory Modulation Disorder and ADD.Taking him to Siskins Children’s Hospital for Children with developmental disabilities was a blessing too me.My son has Graduated High School this week! I am one proud moma!

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It is time to vote.for my cousin Dexter Roberts on the voice…Nbc.com, the app, and Xfinityx1 on your remote. (Use multiple emails 10 votes each) please help spread the word. tonight is the last night

Does he have any mental issues…

Ignore it n maybe an evaluation may have underlying issues

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My 11yr old is/was (still in debates if this worked) and I took him to this place called young men and women for a change in Toledo Ohio…it was a overnight dose of reality thing. Just did it Friday so as I said still in debates if it helped also just found out a councilor/therapist can set up a tour of a juvenile detention center I mean it sucks to have to show kids shit like that but sometimes nothing you do yourself works

Yes my son does this. He is almost 9. The only suggestion i have for sanity is send him to his shut the door. When your done crying and acting a fool you can open your door. My son can not come out till he wants to do said chores/homework. And no means no. I’m currently enforcing being a “gentleman”. Gentleman behave and act a certain way.

Edit: my son does have developments delays with speech and comprehension. Also has short term memory loss. Has IEP at school and has 1 hr of therapy a day.

Spare the rod and spoil the child.

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Could be acting out for other unsaid reasons… 10,is a hard age for kids, finding one self, pressure from.other kids, teachers etc… Look into underlying issue!

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Everybody thinks he needs to go to a doctor when in actuality he should have got a belt to his butt a long time ago. Your problem deal with it and get a belt before he start hitting you!

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How about beating that ass!! Thats the problem these days… Take them to a Dr and put them on pills my ass. Tan that hinny… Worked for us older gen. We work hard and respect others… Todays kids!!!

Put him on his knees with rice or beans it happened to me when I was younger

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It doesn’t sound like normal behavior. Please don’t punish him or hit him like some people suggest here… It looks more like you are going to have to take him to therapy and work from there. Remember love and understanding are more powerful than anything else

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My 4 year old does this. A few months back he threw himself off a chair that sits high up and broke his elbow. He hasn’t done it since.

Beat that ass until it gets better

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Pick a punishment and stick with it. Don’t reward bad behavior. At some point you(someone in his life) taught him that that was how he gets his way and now he needs to be on top that.

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Cold water in the face has stopped many tantrums

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When we run into this we find ways to help our daughter feel in control of something, give her choices. When we foster Sofie’s self-determinism and honor agreements, she actually has less resistance when we ask her to do things. We aren’t huge into punishments in this area, although obviously discipline is important. It could be helpful to have him nutritionally tested too. It’s amazing how food sensitivities & unbalanced vitamins can affect behavior.

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Also remember to praise him when he is good.

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Definitely get the school to test him. Get therapy for anger behavior. ADHD, Bipolar, ODD could be any or all of these. Needs medication too. Been dealing with this for almost 19 years and finally he graduates high school this Saturday. Don’t give up but make some rules you all can live with. It can be ugly at times. Good Luck!

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Sounds like a stressed child for some reason. At 10 years old they should have some grasp to putting words n better choices to their emotions. Sticking to consequences, giving space when needed and praise is important. How is he at school? Maybe he needs some testing. He could be starting to go through puberty changes. Has he always dealt with fustrating times this way?

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He’s testing his limits it sounds like

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I would talk to the doctor maybe… I would think for an 10 yr old that is kind of extreme behavior.
I wouldn’t ignore it because its not appropriate behavior regardless… He is old enough to have a real talk with him also… Ask him questions, write down his answers & go see a Dr. Ask him why he does it, what he is feeling when he does, if he tries not to but he can’t help it… Its imperative to know exactly what your kid is thinking/feeling or lack thereof. If you do all that & the Dr thinks there isn’t anything wrong, than he is being a jerk & you will have to continue to try things until it does work. Good luck!! Its gotta be exhausting.

Proceeds 13–24. He that spareth his rod hate the his son : but he that Lovett him chasteneth him be-times. When all else fails try Gods holy word. The bible

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When my daughter was 4 she had a temper tantrum- laid on the floor screaming- I laid down next to her & did the same… she never did it again- lol. Now my son has twin 5 year old boys- he doesn’t call punishment tough love- it’s called tough turds…

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Begging for discipline, just walk away.

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Are there any other issues regarding behaviour…
Behaviours that are different or unusual…

It could just be he wants his own way…If there are other concerns with his behaviour then maybe best to see the doctor…

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Is his father on his life? Sometimes children of divorce have problems like that. I pray not :pray::heart:

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Ignore ignore ignore unless already spoken to a doctor but my son’s behaviour therapist/ pediatrician and his OT have all said at older ages it’s an attention thing and to ignore it eventually when not getting attention they will stop don’t even look in your child direction or make a face when happening after they have calmed down then speak to them about their issue and saw acting that way will definitely not get what they want

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I would tear someones butt up till they cant sit down they act out like that. You either get the kid controlled now or when they get older and bigger you wont be able to.

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A counselor and maybe even a medical doctor. Sounds bigger than parenting tactics. I wish you both luck and success. Parenting is so hard. I’ll let you in a little secret, no one knows wtf they are doing. If kids #1 turns out good then repeat the process, if not kid #2 is like a whole new experiment :test_tube: we have 4. Kid #4 parenting was way different than kid #1. Hang in there.

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You discribe his reactions, but we don’t have info about his environment or if he has disabilities. A young man that age should not be having such fits. If he does do not just allow it and don’t allow him to see you as weak. Parents don’t realize they reinforce behaviors by giving up and stepping back…

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Beat that ass that’s why people kids do that shit because they can an you pussy parents let them that’s way people talk bad about your kids you have no control over them they been doing this shit for so long it works for them get a life people always bitching about there bad kids that they made that way Congratulations

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I think he should be evaluated by a doctor. The advice to ignore the behavior is good if all he wants is attention. I know that is hard to do.

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Maybe the child just needs one on one time with you. I understand there is other children. Even if it’s just a couple hours a week.

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My daughter does this. It’s hard. We have tried everything I can think of. It’s getting better but it’s been hard.

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He needs a pill to calm him down.Ask your doctor for it.Good luck needs help big time before something big happens.

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Developmental delay, specifically regarding social/emotional regulation? Are language skills good otherwise? A child psychiatrist or paediatrician can assess and see if anything else is going on. Typically children at this age dont this so I think finding the cause will be key.
IF it is all for attention I would just not give it and privalleges would not be happening. Positive reinforcement and encouragement when good behaviours do occur too.

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When my son was 10 and he did that I would ground him take away everything and I would make him set on the floor with his back to the tv and I would watch tv. Or he had to set there and do his homework. He didn’t get to go to his room becouse of toys needless to say after 4 days of that he has never done it again and he is 16 now and my 9 year old she stopped doing that at 6 becouse I did the same thing they now listen to me. The only bad thing they do now is if I tell them to take trash out they will try to put it off but I will say it again in 5 min and they will do it.

People are probably going to get angry at this… but have you tried a good ol fashioned ass whooping? My kids learned very early on not to act up like that or they’d get their butt swatted.

No…that’s not normal behavior. Seek a therapist asap

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Why don’t you just pick her up and whoop her ass than send her to her room if she has or make her sit in a corner for 10 minutes. Not a peep out of her, You are the parent.

I have a 9yro who tried to pull this shit. You know who she met? The palm of my hand. You kick and scream and act like a fool, you’re going to get spanked. The louder and crazier you get, the harder I spank. Guess what, that shit stopped real quick.

Ass whooping is what’s needed. I don’t mean beat the kid, but I mean whoop that ass. Use your loud voice and shut that shit down. It will take a few weeks 2-4 but no electronics for the rest of the day, no friends, no toys. Pen and paper and books only. Nothing fun. NOTHING. If it continues take away something important and donate it. Fav toy or even nonsense stuff they don’t even play with just to make your point.

Typical. Don’t give any attention. Negative or positive. Let them vent in their room

My son would pull his hair out. It was crazy. I considered medicating at one point. (I didn’t) but it’s important to ignore them. Believe me. That worked for me. Not even negative reinforcement. I did this for a few episodes and before I knew it there were no episodes. Hugs. I understand your frustration. I read so much as a new parent and tried a lot of different things.

Spank that butt. But if it’s be going on for a long time and you allowed it, then it is your fault

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I have a fit throwing strong willed little tyrant. I found success with the 1-2-3 action. Timeout never worked with her. If I made it to 3 she got a swat. The first week to two weeks was very difficult and I felt like a terrible human being for that short period of time. But it has worked and she understands that I mean business when I tell her to get up and stop throwing a fit and go brush her teeth or go do whatever task I’ve requested of her. Each kid is different. None of them come with owner’s manuals. I wish you luck in figuring out what works best for you. This parenting gig is tough. More difficult for some, less so for others.

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So true Haylee that what i was told many years ago worked very very well just ignore its very hard i used to do some cooking or sit down are read a book when we were out i walk away

No advice cause we are going through the same thing and tried it all too including spanking and therapists. We have an 9 year old who whines. Constantly. about everything he can’t do a single thing without complaining, he screams no in our faces lays on the ground and pouts, runs away, lies, exaggerates everything, his dad grabbed his shirt to get his attention and barely touched his chin he told me and his mom his dad punched him (he’s my stepson son) I posted on a similar sight asking for advice and got a lot of it’s the age and kids now days think they are entitled. My husband used to baby him really really bad and he’d get his way cause he felt bad for him going between houses so I think that’s a lot of our problem. Hang in there moma

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When thay do that poor a glass of cold water on them and don’t say a word.

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Try to ignore it! They do it for attention and will eventually stop. Give him all the attention for good behavior kids will take any attention they can get if they feel like they don’t get enough! So always let him know how happy you are when he is being good. If he does share toys or does do homework or shower or even eat all of his food or pick up toys even if it’s stuff he does everyday on the regular start giving him good attention!

I have a 10 and 11 yr old boys. They NEVER tell me no or argue w me. I honestly believe its because they know i will kick their ass and make them miserable

Last time my daughter who is almost 10 tried to pull that, she was 8 almost 9. She threw herself on the ground and started throwing a tantrum so I reached down, got her up, and gave her a good spanking. Then I sat her butt down and told her that she has no need to be doing all that nonsense and it will not go in my house. She was grounded for a month and given chores to do every single day. I told her that if there’s something wrong then to use her words and talk to me like a big girl cuz we don’t act like that. I told her if she did it again, next time it will be daddy who spanks her. She did it one more time, not as badly, but sure enough. Daddy spanked her that time. She has never done it since.

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Kick his ass…give him something to scream about

PLEASE DO NOT DRUG YOUR CHILD. That just boggles my mind that anyone would suggest getting their kid a PILL for behavior. :roll_eyes::roll_eyes::roll_eyes: Reward the other siblings and dont give in. Kids are good everyone gets a reward EXCEPT for the one acting up. I make my girls put their hand on the wall and they aren’t done with timeout until its quiet. Also asking them WHAT they did wrong HELPS. Like why are you in time out? Some kids say I dont know? Make sure he/she understands that it’s not okay to act like a giant baby. Maybe record them doing it so they can see how ridiculous they look doing it.

Ignore it he will stop when he realizes u aren’t giving in

My daughter was about five, and she would pitch a fit every time we went to a store. I finally told her that If she did it again I was going to whip her butt and embarrass her in front of all those people. The next time I took her out, she pitched a fit. I gave her a good spanking. She stopped and never did it again.

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It’s nothing more than a temper tantrum and you don’t play into those, tan that hinnie and put that nose in a corner, it fixed me and my brothers when we tried that and my mom didn’t put up with it and I did the same with all of mine and it works and they don’t hate me as they are all adults now.

If the parents do not take control now they and yourself will have an out of control entitled teenager that grows strength and when they grow strength they lash out and physically hurt others. Children need to learn who is boss otherwise the parents will be paying lawyers to keep them out of juvenile detention or jail when they are older.

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My 4 year old does this. I sit her on a chair and tell her she’s in time out. She will cry and scream but afterwards, she good.

If it’s for attention, laugh at them, then film them or walk away, go outside or elsewhere where you can’t hear them. But get your child evaluated for everything else first. Has this started recently or is it a continuation of how your 10-year-old has always acted?

Give a consequence and walk away. Come back in 10 minutes and if they are still behaving that way, send them to bed.

One of my older bonus daughters had something called oppositional defiance disorder and had adhd and acted like that. Maybe take the child to see a psychologist and ask about some sort of behavioral therapy.

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