Why does my boyfriend constantly have an attitude with me?

Why does my bf have to be so dang mean all the time he has a attitude every second he’s here I get that he works and he’s tired but I’m tired too plus taking care of kids isn’t easy when you have 7 of them I’m tired of it he will wake me up in the middle of the night to find his vape or get him something to drink I wash his clothes for work I make sure everything is ready but this morning my alarm didn’t go off so I didn’t get up in time to cook him something so I gave him left overs from last night that set him off he said it’s fine I don’t need a lunch I just don’t know how much more I can take plus we are dealing with cps…is this normal?


you gotta throw the whole man away


You both need to sit down and talk about what you’re roles are. If you agreed to stay home and take care of those things and he goes to work, then you need to tell him what you can and can’t do. Things change. Dynamics change, and most importantly your roles can change. Are they all his children? Did he agree to be the sole provider? How old is your youngest? I agree that you do not need to do everything for this man but you need to talk about it. You should not walk on eggshells if he is always upset. Is this new? What has changed in your relationship recently? Taking care of a household is hard enough with 2-3 kids let alone 7 with a whole other adult. The comments are going to be filled with how men are supposed to be and how perfect their men are. Don’t compare because this is the internet and we all know that not everything is true. If he is a good man and father, hear him out without interrupting and listen to his frustrations. Then you tell what you will and will not do going forward. Don’t take on too much to please him. Take on enough to conserve your energy, spirit, and mental health.

He’s fallen into a routine that you’ve helped him create. One where you do everything for him. It’s time to stop. It’ll probably be hard at first especially with his attitude, but sit him down and tell him things are gonna change or you will leave.

You deserve to be with someone who adds to your happiness not take away from it .


Absolutely not, a relationship is a partnership. Even though he goes to work, you also work taking care of those seven kids everyday and the home. When he is home he should be doing things to help you not expecting you to wait on him hand and foot. He needs to grow up and you need to stop putting up with that behavior. Work together to get things done.

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You’re not his Mother; quit doing everything for him. Time for him to grow up and do stuff for himself.

It’s not normal to be dealing with CPS so (imo) I would make that issue the focus because that’s more important than whether you two will be together or not


It’s not supposed to be normal. Honey you have 8 kids. If he can’t straighten up and learn to treat you as an equal and a partner I highly recommend you start preparing an exit plan

It makes me so sad to see so many women being treated this way :sweat:

Your situation/relationship is “normal” for some people - but that doesn’t mean that it is healthy, that’s the key word you want to focus on. I used to have to ask this question too about my toxic relationship with my EX. And once I was able to shift my focus from “is it normal” to “is it healthy” I realized just how toxic things were with my ex.

If you haven’t already, you should really look into emotional abuse, toxic relationships and about narcissism. Learning about all of that really helped me.

Oh love… stop. You have 7 kids not 8. Tell him if he’s not going to appreciate you and treat you as at least human (the one he chosen to live with) then he can do his things for himself and let you focus on the kids because you’re not his mom. You’re his partner.


Very sad situation your mixed up in

No. It’s not normal. Sounds like he’s already checked out. Start making your plans baby!

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If you’re asking, you already know the answer.


What you are both doing, is teaching your children that this is o.k. to live like that. It is a type of emotional abuse to them! Think of THEM and BREAK THAT CHAIN! Your children are suffering because somehow you feel like this is normal. Stop being victimized and give those children a decent and peaceful life. There is all kind of government help out there for you to provide them a good home. I’m sure you qualify to get help that you need. The ball is in your court…run with it! Be strong for your children and yourself. Your children will always be there…he most likely will not. Sending prayers your way! :pray:


Communicate with him and voice how you are feeling (how he is making you feel) he may not know what he’s doing and how it’s bothering you, he maybe stressed from work or something’s bothering him. We don’t know his behavior before this and how long this has been going on for but communication is always best

We accept the love we think we deserve…but honey, you deserve SO MUCH MORE.


It is NOT. You deserve a partner not another child

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Is he your boyfriend or another child?


We can’t control others or know why they do thee things they do.
We can only control our own reactions. So the question isn’t why is your bf behaving this way… its why are you putting up with it?


No it’s not. My hubby is always grateful for whatever I make him and he’s never woken me up to find anything or make him drinks. The bf is super disrespectful.


He only does what you allow him to do.

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He will abuse you as long as you let him!!


Life is too short and goes by quickly. I wasted so many good years. I had 2 children by him. He didn’t work, wouldn’t let me call or visit my family but 2 hours a week. You don’t get that time back. My daughter has to take care of him.

No you are being abused pray and make changes

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Tell him to take his vape and a drink up at a night time if he wants them. You don’t deserve to be woken up. Your not his slave your his partner and it’s about time your treated like one. If your going to baby him he’ll constantly expect it. Your asking so you already know it’s not normal.

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Leave. If he makes you feel less of a human, he’s not worth it. You will be better off being on your own and raising your children in a happy environment!
The way I see it, he’s using you with that treatment. Get out!!

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Stop doing everything for him and make him see what all, you do!! When he notices what you’re not doing, tell him to start appreciating what you had been doing. He isn’t your child. Rather your working or staying home with children, or he works, or stays home with children, both of you have jobs, bit, with children, you work more hours than he does. I have been in your shoes, and what I mentioned above, is what I done, and he made changes, real quick!! He was making changes, or he was moving out!!

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Send him back to his mama!

No. That’s NOT normal. Don’t tolerate that. Tell him off n put ur foot down. Why CPS? Sou ds like u should get rid of him.

No its not normal and in due time you both will part ways. He’s not in the relationship, you are. He’s just coexisting with you under the same roof and you’re enabling his behavior by giving into his fits and tantrums. Leave now or you’ll be digging yourself a deeper hole by staying.


It’s normal for a toxic relationship but that’s about it

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Nope cheating Jr thinking about it

Red flags all over the place! You let people treat you that way, they will never have respect for you! Sounds like you or him should leave and refigure your life out!


Because he is a gigantic baby and thinks of you as his mother!!!

You need to stop being his maid and he needs to grow up

You teach people how to treat you. It will continue until you stop it.


No. His kids too he can help and he can cook two nights a week. If you both work out of the house then you can both help each other equally. He can get his own water and vape. He needs to quit. My Mo had a lot of kids my Dad worked out of the house and Mom needed a break sometimes. Our whole family helped out.

Seek counseling for the whole family dynamic. Start there. Cps can help if you tell them you’re just overwhelmed. He needs to grow up and needs to do some soul searching. Aldo stop having babies with him. Asap.

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Sounds like he is tired of the situation & wanting you to kick him out. How many of those kids are his ?

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I’d definitely leave with ur children and let him do everything his self. U have 7 children he doesn’t sound like he’s man enough to help raise them.

Let him go now. Bye-bye!!


Is the kids both of yours?

It definitely sounds like there is something going on and I would definitely try to sit down with him one on one and just say hey I need you to talk to me. Tell him how you’re feeling and that the way he’s treating you is not OK. Tell him it’s also OK if he needs to get a professional. Too many men think it makes them weak reaching out for help 


“Is this normal.” Lol no.

Not normal. You’re not HIS mom.

Not to defend the guy because he sounds like a jerk but he’s probably stressed out from work and the cps case. He’s obviously exhausted and probably in pain from the type of work he does. Men don’t always handle these things with grace like we can. Now, I think that you need to sit him down and talk to him but you should start out by asking him what’s going on with him and if there’s a way to help. After that convo, then you need to talk to him about how you’re feeling. Doing it in that order generally keeps him from feeling attacked and you’ll be more likely to make progress. Just some advice from someone who has a husband that doesn’t handle stress well.

Sounds like others said & you have 8 kids. He needs to work on respecting you more. If not, he can do his own clothes & meals. If still not then, move along.

It’s a toxic relationship. Nothing healthy happening there for you or your kids.
From what you describe he sees you as a maid, waitress, and a butler. If he loved you he would give you the respect and help you deserve.
You’ve got 7 kids. He should be doing things to help you around the house when he’s home.

That’s not a boyfriend that loves you are respects you

Wish I could loan you my gramma, she used to say “you’ll end up with what you put up with”, and boy was she right


Is he the father of the 7 kids?

No its not normal for a partner to demand so much of you. I have 6 ( 3 from a previous marriage) and my husband works 7am-845pm mon-thurs then friday 7am-3pm. He still does his own laundry, makes his own meals for work (sometimes i do help like i made his rice this week but he made the chicken) he makes his own shakes and breakfast. He helps me keep the house clean. Hes been helping with the reat of the laundry bc im prego again since we have 2 angels hes worried for me so he brings the baskets down and up stairs and he does the kitty litter. Older kids do their own laundry and take care of small things around the house as well. Many questions need to be asked to see how to go about things. Has he always been like this? Cps stressing him out? Financially stressed? But overall he shouldnt be treating ypu lime that.


Sometimes I wonder if this page is even real :rofl:

No. And you know it isn’t.

Better off alone. It’s still hard, but you can be happy.

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No, that is not normal. I think counseling is a great idea, however, I don’t think “taking care” of him is fair to you or definitely not the children.

It’s your normal if you let it be…why is he still your boyfriend…:thinking:

You had me up until the CPS part :eyes::eyes: Now I feel like I don’t know enough to direct or give any advice. Hope it’s not over DV

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Maybe y’all should sit down and have a long true conversation about how the both of you feel. CPS is also a very stressful situation I’m sure that’s a contributing factor. Just sit him down and y’all both need to express your feelings with truth so you know how one another feels

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You guys have an unbelievable amount of stress, but he’s taking it out on you. It’s a form of abuse. Please get counseling. If he refuses, get counseling for yourself.

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So if you’re dealing with cps then you both need to change . The first thing you should do is leave him, and start from scratch . Sounds like he has to grow up and he needs to find himself a maid .


That’s not a boyfriend, that’s an 8th child.

We call them partners for a reason, they’re supposed to be a partner, not a chore

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YOU ARE NOT A SLAVE !!! Tell him to do himself you have yourself and children to worry about not running to his beck and call. Focus more on yourself and your children rather than him !


I think the better question is why is he still your boyfriend?

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Sounds like you should get rid of him. Not suppose to be that way.

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No sounds like he’s checked out already


Sounds like he’s a controlling child. No, it isn’t normal. Is he abusive towards the children?

The person who is supposed to love you but makes you feel like literal :poop: is never normal.


Sounds like you have 8 kids… he needs to grow up.


Nope I got five the older two live with their dad the younger three live with me and their dad and I have a 5-month-old if my husband woke me up to find something and I would rip him a new asshole honestly tell him find it yourself make your own food you need to sit down and talk with him and say hey you need to pick up your side your own slack or I’m going to do it on my own because I do it anyways :person_shrugging: my husband did that at one point I sat him down and said hey you either change this or leave honestly girl he sounds super childish and I get it we’re dealing with DHS right now because of an incident with my younger daughter and her older brother I get it it can be hard but y’all are supposed to support each other and be there for each other he can take care of his own things especially if you’re taking care of seven kids

Normal??? You’ve been involved in that kind of life too long to even question if it’s normal


He wakes YOU up in the middle of the night to get him a drink? None of this is normal!


You’re doing wife stuff for a boyfriend that is crazy! Drop him now if he’s mean now he’s only going to get more mean it doesn’t get better especially if you get married man the ownership he thinks he has over you…

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Also the lunch thing is a little much hes a grown man he can feed himself if it’s like that

I was with a guy like this…once.

He’s a child it’s not normal maybe it’s time to put your foot down and tell him to get his own sh** or you need to get your kids and move on your not his maid !!!

For one you have 7 kids are they not his ? If they are why is he still only a “bf” ? You are not his mommy he can fix his own crap if he’s gonna whine about it . Never let a man talk down to you , put on your big girl panties and stand up for yourself !!

Girl, get child support and have one less kid to take care of.

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Sounds like your his housekeeper and not his girlfriend. Wake up sweetie there is a whole new world out there. You don’t need him. Sounds like he needs you. Are all 7 kids yours or a combo of both your kids. Not that it matters. 7 is a handful you don’t need a man child!!

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Because he’s a man child and needs to grow the f up…

Woah. No. Don’t deal with this. You said you have 7 kids? Mama you’re superwoman already. No judgement but also if they aren’t his that’s a lot for someone to take on and he obviously can’t handle it. And regardless if they are your children shouldn’t see you treated that way. Leave.

Not fricken normal at all… leave that sorry sack of :poop:… why are you cooking for him, waking up during the night to get him a drink?! F that…

I feel you, very much in the same situation. Four kids between the two of us and he’s just one more. Absolute ridiculous that a grown ass man cannot take care of themselves, pick up after themselves, or act appropriately. :roll_eyes::v:

You don’t have a boy friend. You have a man child. You are not his mother.

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Girl…you need to move on with your life. Life is too short to be miserable

Dude sounds like an abusive man-child. No, it’s not normal. You deserve better. If you are already in contact with cps, maybe you could ask them for some resources to help you leave that situation.

He’s a narcissist. Get rid of him

Girl you know this isn’t normal. No one who actually likes their partner treats them that way. He literally wakes you up to do something he can easily do? He’s mad that you packed him a lunch, even though it wasn’t made that day? I would leave him so quickly. Your kids deserve to grow up knowing that this isn’t how you treat your significant other and you deserve better than this.


Nope. Leave this relationship before it gets worse. And believe me it can


7 kids and cps involved, sad!


Who has 7? You and him or just you? Wow and CPS involved.

No its not normal not my husband (yet I plan to make him my husband in the next five years) does everything he can to take a load off me, I only work part time, have 2 kids (not his, they’re my ex husbands) and pregnant with his first my third, and he works 10-12 hour days, he makes his own lunch, finds his own stuff in the morning does what he can to not wake me up in the morning except to ‘tuck me in’ (even though I’m already asleep and kiss me before he leaves.

100% not normal. Hun, if cps is involved put ALL of your energy in to your children’s needs. You don’t need a nasty man child running you down when you have so much going on. Figure out your priorities, your boundaries and expectations and express those. Then if he doesn’t step up, it’s time for him to get out of the way so you can keep building your life with your children in a positive and healthy manner.

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Leave. You’re not his mother

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None of this is “normal”. The cps part, if not anything else, should have been a clear sign that no, this is not a “normal” situation.

No and get your kids and get a new life without him. Set an example for your kids. This is a downward fail. Never put a man before your child.

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And you need this in your life why?

Def need counseling here if he won’t go then bye bye

Time to get him out take care of your kids and home . Get your tunes tied woman geez

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