My husband is constantly accusing me of cheating and I cannot take it anymore.
My husband is constantly accusing me of cheating and lying, and repeatedly “suggests” I leave and we divorce. It’s so bad that during my last pregnancy, he would make comments about I could have easily cheated on him while he wasn’t home, and that the baby probably isn’t even his. We have two boys, and when we found out we were having our second boy, his suspicions were “confirmed” (in his mind) because, in his family, everyone that had kids had boy-girl-boy-girl. Then when I had the baby, he was even more convinced that I cheated because the baby looks just like me. He even started a fight on the way home from the hospital, because he just couldn’t get over how the baby doesn’t look like him. From the first week of our marriage, he’s been threatening divorce every time we have an argument. Every day when he gets home from work he basically interrogates me about my day, and if something doesn’t “add up” to him, it’s a sign that I’m cheating. I am absolutely exhausted. I love him more than anything, and I don’t want to tear apart our family, yet I can’t help but feel like all this pain and frustration isn’t worth the brief periods of happiness we have. I am just so frustrated, because I have never EVER cheated, and I’m hurt because he refuses to trust me.
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Sounds like to me he’s guilty of something and taking it out on you!
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Please please get out. He is an extremely toxic person. And you dont want your boys to be influenced by this type of behavior either. And I know you dont want to break up your family but it’s better to come from a divorced home then a toxic and abusive one. You literally have ONE life. Spend it with someone better then this. ![:heart: :heart:](https://answers.mamasuncut.com/images/emoji/google/heart.png?v=12)
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I’m so sorry you’re hurting.
I had same prob turns out he was one being unfaithful
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Do a paternity test to prove to him both children are his, then leave. Don’t walk- run! His behavior will not get better- it will get worse.
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He is cheating on u, get ur kids and leave
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Well the one who accuses is the one who is cheating maybe it’s for the best that you two separate He’s not gonna stop and you don’t wanna live rest of your life being depressed and sad all the time
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How could you love a man that thinks so little of you? He’s basically calling you a liar and whore.
Give him what he wants! Pack his bags and show him the door! Your children are seeing this!
It sounds like he’s cheating I would leave it’s not worth it
It sounds like he’s looking for a reason to end it, and you cheating would be the easiest for him. Honestly, if talking to him about his behavior doesn’t help, you may need to consider getting out of the situation. It’s not at all fair to you or your children for him to behave that way.
Often, people who behave that way are overcompensating and are cheating/considering cheating themselves.
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He’s cray, it’s not curable- get away now
Sounds like he may have cheated and has a guilty conscience?
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Get a DNA test on all your babies and file for divorce and say you got your wish we’re getting a divorce.
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Take the kids and leave. Screw that nonsense. Women need to stop settling. Take charge and make your life better.
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Sounds like he wants you to have cheated so yall will break up and not be his fault…or he is cheating and trying to keep your mind to pre occupied to look Into him
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Those who don’t trust can’t be trusted themselves!!!
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Nine times out of ten, the accuser is the cheater. I know it’s hard with children involved, but you need to get out. He is obviously toxic, and you can barely breathe. Your children shouldn’t grow up thinking that’s normal. You don’t deserve that.
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How could you live like that for even a day? Smh
This screams narcissistic abuse!!! It’ll never change girl. My ex husband did the same for our entire marriage, even got physical 3 diff occasions. Left after the 3rd or I’d probably be dead right now! He will never change and you have to think of your children!! best of luck to you ![:black_heart: :black_heart:](https://answers.mamasuncut.com/images/emoji/google/black_heart.png?v=12)
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My ex did that. I couldnt prove I wasnt cheating while living in the middle of nowhere and spent every last second with him.
Its not you, he doesn’t want the responsibility of the kids.
This is emotional abuse. You need to seek counseling if you want the family to stay together, he needs some psychological help to handle his paranoia and jealousy. If he can’t get it under control, it may be better to leave. This doesn’t sound like a healthy environment for you or your children. You don’t want your sons to think this is how they should treat women, either.
More than likely he is the one cheating. It’s very common for them to accuse you because it makes you focus on defending yourself instead of focusing on the clues he could be leaving around.
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Call Maury
Jk
He’s really insecure and this sound abusive.
He sounds so childish… And guilty
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Personality disorders aren’t curable- these are the sort of men who will hold you hostage or will kill you or your children—-in case you’re wondering
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He’s cheating or has extreme insecure issues. Get counseling or get out
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But how could you love a man treating you this way ![:disappointed_relieved: :disappointed_relieved:](https://answers.mamasuncut.com/images/emoji/google/disappointed_relieved.png?v=12)
He’s projecting his guilt on to you.
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I’ve always been told that if someone is accusing you of something then they are probably guilty of it themselves.
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Hes probably the one cheating.
Cheaters tend to deflect blame.
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Leave. This is emotional abuse. I have lived it and you don’t deserve it. Next time he suggests divorce agree and start the paperwork.
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He doesn’t love you, though.
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I’d say he’s the one guilty of cheating and to make himself feel better he’s making you feel like shit. He also sounds super immature and definitely doesn’t know how a marriage works. Marriage takes work (and trust) and there are going to be arguments, some worse than others but if he thinks divorce is the answer to every argument then he’s obviously not mature enough to be married. If it were me in the situation I’d leave the next time he suggests it and see how he likes it! I’m not one to say throw your marriage away but what you described isn’t a marriage, sounds more like a nightmare.
Sounds like he’s the one cheating… give him his divorce and get child support for your children… u don’t need to b dealing with that mess
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He’s cheating!! Do you want your boys to think this is how a woman should be treated? If you can’t bring yourself to leave, tell him he needs counseling, if he refuses, give him his wish and divorce his ass, guarantee he’s gonna play victim then, don’t fall for it, don’t let him make you think less of yourself
In my experience, he’s accusing you of cheating because he is actually cheating. Get out now!
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My ex was the exact same!! No lie this sounds like what happened to me and when our second son was 7 weeks old I told him to leave if that’s what he wants and at xmas I kicked him out! Then I found out two weeks later he was seeing someone the whole time… my advice is to get out while you can
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Usually if someone is constantly accusing you of doing something with no legit proof they have a guilty conscience about it and are in fact doing said thing themselves. He sounds like he’s projecting his guilt onto you. Been there done that.
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Your husband is guilty and he is trying to make you the bad person… sort him out and if anyone leaves it should be him
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Fuck that idiot. Leave him.
Your showing your boys this is right, let that be enough to give you strength to say enough is enough!
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He’s the one cheating. Guaranteed.
![:roll_eyes: :roll_eyes:](https://answers.mamasuncut.com/images/emoji/google/roll_eyes.png?v=12)
Someone has some serious insecurity issues at the very least. Sometimes this can be projection though, so…stay tuned in.
At this point- you might as well cheat. ![:woman_shrugging:t2: :woman_shrugging:t2:](https://answers.mamasuncut.com/images/emoji/google/woman_shrugging/2.png?v=12)
My ex always accused me of cheating and even had the nerve to say our son wasn’t his because he looks nothing like him, well guess what he was the one cheating the entire 20 years we were together, so its usually the person cheating that accuses the non cheating one, leave now!
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Sorry, beebs. He’s probably the one cheating. Usually the accuser is the guilty party.
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How can you love someone who treats you that way? He is projecting his guilt onto you. Get out.
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You need to invest in those little cameras that has a memory card when he comes home from work and starts interrogating you and accusing you things then you take and download this into a computer and put it on a disc and hand it to an attorney or a trusted friend and continue to do so because it sounds like your husband has a violent temper any May harm you or your kids so this way you have evidence but you need to protect yourself and your children
Dealt with this for 10 years and wish I left years ago.
Leave.
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I think counseling is a way to go because his behavior is abusive. But it also sounds like hes expected the marriage to fail from the beginning since his solution is always divorce. So that may be the core issue. No one may be cheating he just may think that the only reason you’re with him is because you haven’t found someone else.
Sounds like he is the one cheating ![:person_tipping_hand:t2: :person_tipping_hand:t2:](https://answers.mamasuncut.com/images/emoji/google/person_tipping_hand/2.png?v=12)
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It sounds like he’s the one that’s cheating. Even if he isn’t, this is emotional abuse and you deserve so much better.
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No trust, no relationship
simple as that. Why subject yourself to all of this constantly and have your kids see this. They will think it’s okay once they grow up to treat a woman like that.
Just leave while you can. It’s not going to get better
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He sounds guilty. I would venture to say he has cheated on you. Maybe do some questioning of your own? I would put up with what he is doing regardless. Put some space between you and then set some boundaries with him.
Leave he’s not going to change! Been there done that
That isn’t love and you not being happy neither will your kids.
Honestly you need to leave. That is a very unhealthy relationship for you and your kids. Be safe and take care of yourself and your babies
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Nobody should live like that. You need to ask yourself if you can deal with this for life, because without intensive therapy, it’s not going to stop. Also, that is a clear sign of a guilty conscience. He probably cheated on you, or is still cheating on you.
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I’ve personally been through this…its almost ALWAYS the accuser that is cheating!
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I’m gunna go with projection on this one
Give him what he wants. How can you love someone like that
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Toxic. I would leave asap
That’s cause he is the one cheating and you need to leave for your sons
He needs some serious therapy. Paranoid. Insecure. Mistrusting. All his issues. Unhealthy for any relationship and your kids are witnessing it. How sad. So sorry.
The one who accuses is the one who’s guilty ![:woman_shrugging:t2: :woman_shrugging:t2:](https://answers.mamasuncut.com/images/emoji/google/woman_shrugging/2.png?v=12)
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Been there. Leave. It’s not healthy
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I went through this with my first husband, he was the one cheating, he went as far as to say that our son was in fact my little brothers, just because he looks like me. I know you love him, but you need to ask yourself who you love more. You and your boys or the man that makes your life unbearable. This will not get better especially when his “family” keep getting involved. You will become resentful of everything and everyone. Your kids will suffer, and your boys will learn that it’s ok to treat you and women like shit. Get out now before it becomes violent because it will. Leave! You want advice start court proceedings for a divorce and custody before it’s to late.
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You don’t need that at all , and it’s not worth it just leave.
This is abuse. Leave for yourself and your sons. Hes never going to stop without professional help.
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He is pulling your family apart. How does the child feel to hear that his dad isn’t his dad.
I lived that life. Its horrendous. I’m so sorry.
Often people accuse you of things they are doing wrong. Hes paranoid because he may be guilty.
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He is probably cheating so he assumes you are too. Been there. Leave
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Divorce his ass. Pack up yours and your boys stuff and get the hell out asap.
Run… Far and fast… He’s a narcissistic and will never stop.
It’s time to leave this type of man will never change . General they are the ones doing wrong and believe if the put it all on you , that you will never see threw them . It is a disorder called narcissistic behavior. There is no cure . Take your babies and get out this is the only way you will be happy. Trust me it took me years to see it and now I trust no one. Don’t let this man ruin your life .
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Its easy to see he’s actually the one cheating… Most cheaters always accuse the faithful one to justify their own wrong doings…
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He is insecure sounds to me like, I would speak to an attorney. Just to see my options & tell him one last time it needs to stop!!
His guilt is eating at him so he is taking it out on you.
Liars always believe everyone else is lying.
because they do it,why wouldn’t you.
Its a manifestation of his
Paranoia, guilt and insecurites.
Hes trying to confuse you. Maybe even drive you away.
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Jesus Christ
that sounds horrible and defo like he’s he one up to something although this would be the last of my worries if I were yu, get rid he sounds disgusting!
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This can go two ways. One you leave simple as that but give him visiting rights dont be crazy. Two you stay with him and I cant stress this enough TALK to him about it, it must be because of his past relationships he must’ve got hurt bad in past make him talk about it that usually helps.
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Why is he like this ask yourself🤔 Has he cheated and to make himself feel better about what he’s done he constantly accuses you ? You love him but he is bringing you down making you unhappy you deserve to be happy and so does your children … To start saying your baby does not look like him just after you had given birth. Sorry I would have gone then he’s a sad man
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Get out now. It will never get easier!
Well he sounds insecure. Id leave him and dont tell him your leaving cause he sounds violent. Then file for divorce and get child support no visitation. Did u see news where father took his son amber alert was issued but canceled cause he killed son and himself. Be safe
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Im sorry. U should watch him. He is the ine cheating. I was in a toxic relationship like that for 12 years and it was him.
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Leave it’s so unhealthy for you & your children. Normaly the one accusing is the one doing wrong
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He is more likely cheating sorry
Sounds like narcissistic personality disorder. Also, when people constantly accuse their spouse of cheating, it’s usually due to their on actions and behavior.
Get out of there. From personal experience, these people can’t be fixed and it only gets worse and worse the longer you stay. It’s not a healthy environment for your children or for you. Do you want them to think it’s okay for people to be treated like this? When you eventually become numb to the verbal/emotional, he will possibly escalate. Get out while you are all still alive before things escalate past that point.
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Leave his untrusting ass! Why you put up with shit like that? He is killing all the live you have for him, leave him !
What’s love without trust? Save yourself some misery, someone more loyal may be out there waiting.
Guilty dog barks first. That’s what my mom told me when my ex husband was accusing me of cheating we never had kids together but he always said I was taking birth control behind his back so I wouldn’t get pregnant by the guys I was cheating on him with. I finally left him after him giving me broken ribs, broken jaw and permanent neck issues. In the end it was him cheating on me and he told me this because she got pregnant and I still hasn’t so he said it was my fault. My fault we didn’t have kids, my fault he cheated and my fault he beat the crap out of me. So I left him, turns out the kid he thought was his wasn’t she was also with someone else.
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Sounds EXACTLY like my ex husband. Girl, leave. Now.
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Sounds like hes either cheating or hes got some psychological problems that need to be addressed asap
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Whoever smelt it , dealt it
I see projection if not insecurity but he needs counseling of some sort ! Best of luck
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if he is constantly telling you but you are cheating more than likely he’s the one doing it come to find out he was cheating on me the entire time and try to make it sound like it was my fault it was a choice he made it wasn’t my fault
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This is abuse and you need to get out, the kind don’t need to be around this behaviour either. You may love him but he obviously doesn’t love you or he would trust you and it sounds like he could be the one cheating. My ex would do these things too me every time he was cheating. Getting out while your boys are still little is the best thing so they don’t grow up thinking that this is normal and then repeat what they learn. Make sure when you leave you get him on support and they will do a DNA test to prove he is the father.
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Oh honey he is mentally and emotionally abusive and has been from day dot from the sound of things
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Try counseling. If he refuses, just leave… you don’t want your kids to grow up thinking that’s how they should treat their partner or their partner should treat them. You dont deserve that
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