Why does my husband all of a sudden not want to be intimate?

Don’t come across accusatory that will shut him down ask open ended questions and let him talk don’t interrupt but let him vent my husband has medical issues and the bedroom activities have basically stopped for us and he has depression plus low T I don’t push him either we have been together married 6 years but have known each other over 20 years

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He’s not your husband but fiance… those two are not interchangeable… The guy seems like have a problem with depression, he’s not in his natural disposition. He needs to go out and hunt for the family and bring the bacon home to feed the kids and lady, that’ll excite him…

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He may be addicted to porn

Is he a good housekeeper ?? Maybe his doctor could offer some insight. Buy yourself an adult toy. He may even enjoy using it with you… contact Patty Marmann … libido specialist, nurse, excellent answers.

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Tbh people with hug sex drives over think things I have no sex drive and I adore my bf. and wouldn’t ever cheat and I’m 120% attracted to him and only him but after having my son and taking car of the house kids school etc it exausts me to the point of not even thinking about it and maybe he’s waiting for you to make a move instead of you working all day thinking your tired and him coming to grope you ?

He’s waiting for the one

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If I could be you for just a while… For 14 years, my husband couldn’t keep his hands off of me… He still can’t! :woman_shrugging:

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Have him go to the Dr. Get checked. If not depression or testosterone then probably parent burnout or cheating.

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Stay at home dad depression/ burnout is just as real as stay at home mom depression and burnout. Maybe you should help out at home too, if you’re not already. Give him a day out for himself.

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My fiance doesn’t care for sex much bc he dont need it like I do. Hes good with 1 time a week or once a month lol have him take testosterone pills he will then want it more

Its possible he may prefer the company of other men

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Sounds to me like he is going through the same thing I went through, it’s depression…I didn’t work, didn’t drive much because we had one vehicle and I stayed home with the kids and I didn’t know anyone around us, I got depressed and sex felt like a chore for me even though I did love my husband and wanted to, I just didn’t feel like it.

he really shown you what he is like when it camas to sex & he doesn’t like it or do it much, And you knew this from the beginning. And I will agree with the comment above, he really isn’t into you but more into guys

He’s a stay at home dad. Maybe he’s tired. Do you help with the house and the kids? Is he feeling appreciated? Just because he’s a guy doesn’t mean he should be ready to go at it all the time. He’s no different then a sahm who loses her sex drive because she’s unhappy. The other thing is your time frame says y’all had the most sex the first six months of your relationship so maybe it’s just who he is and just not that into sex.

Maybe he’s gay and can’t or isn’t ready to admit it yet? Or maybe hes having an issue with getting it up and is embarrassed to share it with you? But I’d definitely not wait so long to confront him. Nothing wrong with sitting him down and asking for an explanation. You deserve one. May not be one you want to hear, but at least you’ll know.

This is not normal. He may be cheating, be depressed, or having erectile disorder and may be embarrassed about it. The best way to approach this is to be open minded 100%. You may not hear what you want but he should be honestly with you.

Could be depression, or a number of medical issues, some men are impotent and that’s through no fault of their own, and some men just don’t like sex. He could be asexual and not quite realize it. Talking to him, really seriously talking to him, is the only way to figure it out. You should be supportive and non judgemental, but also really take stock of what you want in your life

Plus, you said he stays home with the kids. When women are SAHMs, and they get burnt out and don’t want sex, we call that normal. It can affect men just as much as women, and possibly even more due to societal expectations of him.

It’s doesn’t mean he’s cheating. People say it’s not normal to go through this but it is actually. People go through periods of low or no intimacy sometimes for a number of different reasons, and it’s normal, and it doesn’t just automatically mean he’s being shady. Too many people look for an out instead of trying to fix the issue. Talk to him. Treat him like he’s your priority and get down to the root of the issue.

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In my experience when my husband stopped wanting to be intimate it was because he was cheating.

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He doesn’t feel good and manly about himself…not driving and staying home with kids .I don’t blame him for not feeling like the man he should be

My husband and I handle stress differently.

Be honest with him. About your needs. We are 14 years different. You can message me

Will he talk with you about it? Does he seem depressed or anxious?

I have so many questions like how long were you together when you got married cause if it’s been 18 months then surely you weren’t married after 6 months so have you even banged in marriage?
Who’s kids are they cause how is kids a plural if you’ve not slept together since you only been together 6 months??? That’s like surely only enough time for 1 child who’d be like 9 months old?
Why doesn’t he have social media or friends?

Have you asked him directly why he no longer wants to have relations? Have you suggested seeing a therapist? If he gives excuse after excuse, time to move on without him. He will either want to work in himself and your relationship or he won’t.

If he’s home with kids a lot maybe he’s just tired, or touched out.

Wait how old are your kids?

Maybe he is just tiered. Maybe there is that he is just not with that high drive…

Him staying at home… can be depression, talk to a doctor and see if he can also get bloodwork done and check for testosterone

18 months!? That’s a long time to not have sex. Depression or not 18 months is not accessible. How old is he.

Maybe he’s asexual and sex just isn’t a big deal for him.