Some people just don’t like marriage. I personally don’t.
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You need to talk to him about it. Maybe he’s comfortable not being married and doesn’t know you want to take that step.
Lmao not everyone believes in marriage. Maybe he doesnt. 
whoopdie do. Getting married isnt something you have to do to be happy and isnt something you have to do if you’re with someone for a long time. Maybe you want to be married and he dowsnt maybe that’s a discussion you two need to have.
And also, he IS committed. You’re in a relationship.
Have you tried proposing to him ?
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8 years and you haven’t had that discussion? Maybe you should wait.
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Lmao…ive been with mine 9 years and 2 kids…wheres mine? Lol.
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We dated 10 years before we got married. You have to decide what’s important. Kids weren’t on my agenda.
Ask him what is going on???
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If for whatever reason his view of marriage is “it’s just a piece of paper,” I found this website helpful for medical directives and POA in healthcare and finances. Just because you have POA in healthcare decisions, doesn’t mean every state is going to follow it. Say if y’all go on a vacation and he gets hurt, if the state he gets hurt in doesn’t follow your POA, then it’ll be up to his family to make the decisions. Talk about bad blood waiting to happen if your decisions go against his family’s. Just something to think about and mention 
.
Ya done gave away the milk. 
(jk)You already give him every benefit of a wife, why mess up a good thing?
I AM ABSOLUTELY JOKING PLEASE DO NOT GET MAD.
I’m dealing with similar. You should talk to him, explain yourself, hint at the point there’s no reason he can’t at least begin the engagement……
if that’s his intention…
Good Luck & Be Blessed
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Maybe he’s scared cuz he thinks it will change your relationship . Idk
I was with my now husband for a month and we were talking marriage. We met July 2019. October 2020, he proposed, and April 2021 we wed.
All that to say, if he wants to he will.
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If you have great communication. Just ask goodluck
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I been with my boyfriend for 10 years I told him from the beginning that I didn’t wanna get married and he already been married so it just worked he also said he didn’t want any more children either but here we are with two of our own lol sometimes u just gotta tell them what you want.
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Why buy the cow…?
Seriously??
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Tell him you want to get married. Or heck you propose. Otherwise, I don’t see it happening.
Talk to him about it without being accusatory or pushy.
“I’ve been giving a lot of thought to what I want our future to look like. I’m not in any rush to the altar but I know I want to get married. Being your wife, making that commitment is important to me. What are your thoughts?” And give him a chance to respond. If he expresses he wants marriage too, ask him what timeline he has in mind. Be sure to acknowledge that you agree his education goals are a priority and you’d like to be on the same page about marriage as well. You can even bring up the idea of a long engagement that allows you to make plans on a slow schedule around his schooling and giving yourselves time to save and set a budget. Not wanting to “make it official” just yet doesn’t mean he isn’t committed. You won’t know where his mind is on this subject until you’ve discussed it.
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Coming from a similar situation, just ask him why. Then you’ll need to decide if that’s something you want to stick out. I left at 31 after a 12 yr relationship for the same thing. Life’s too short for that. Found my now husband shortly after and have been happily married for almost 10 years
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I’ve been with my bf for 6 years and I get it all the time form my family when are you getting married?? It drive sme nuts I was content with our relationship but after hearing the question over and over it bothered me. We had a serious conversation about it and he told me he really wanted to be financially stable and accomplish his goal of making manager before legally marrying me. I have 2 kids from previous relationship so its alot to take on. I understood and I agree with him honestly I’m content and dont really care what others think anymore but talk to him
You guys have been together for 8 years and live together, please tell me how he hasn’t already committed to you? You already answered your own question, he’s waiting until he’s done with school first. If it’s that big of a deal then ask him to marry you.
Some people just don’t want to get married 
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PROPOSE YOURSELF! Why do women always wait for the guy to pop the question? If you love him and want to spend the rest of your life with him then get on one knee and ask that man to be your husband!
And if he says no then you have your answer.
I was with my husband 7 years before he proposed. I was ready at year 1, so it was rough for me to wait for him to be ready to propose. We talked about it a lot though, because I would ask him how he was feeling about where we were and if he saw us getting married. He always assured me he was happy and that would happen. He just had to do it at his pace. We were super happy and committed so I did my best to be patient! We have been married now for 6 years and 14 years together total. Been through literal hell and back in that time. I look back and am grateful he took it slow to propose. We got to live together and learn reach others deepest truths and faults and decided each other every day, through it all. That’s true commitment and I am so grateful 
Trust your gut that it’s time to bring it up and just have a chat about how you are feeling. Together you can find the path that brings you both the utmost happiness 
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Girl been there done that he wasn’t ready and am glad I left.
I didn’t want to interfere but when my daughter brought up the same thing with me I suggested she talk with her guy and let him know her feelings. She ended up telling him if by her birthday they were not engaged she was going to have to end the relationship. For her birthday he asked her to marry him and by the following year they were married.
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The communication between you is obviously not “perfect”. I’m not try to be mean but come on, you’re on an anonymous fb page asking strangers? Not buying that for second. Good luck.
My husband and I were together for 6 years and had 2 kids together before we got married but we discussed the matter a lot beforehand. We weren’t financially ready til last year which worked out. We bought a house and a month and a half later we got married in our backyard. You’ll need to bring up the subject. Maybe he doesn’t like marriage but you have to communicate your feelings.
Have you two spoken about wanting to have children in your future? Is it important to you that you’re married before you have children? You’ve been together a long time it might be time to discuss if you’re both still wanting the same things in life.
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Why don’t you ask him?
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Just propose… I did. Married almost 2 years now.
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To those saying you can commit without getting married…true.
BUT… if something happened to him she will not be considered next of kin. She won’t be eligible for his death benefits, etc.
If he isn’t wanting to marry you it’s because he’s waiting to see what else might come along. He isn’t that committed.
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My partner and I have been together for 23 years and we are not married - We have a fantastic life together - 2 children and a beautiful house, not everyone wants to get married.
Plus you do realise if you want it so bad you can actually pop the question, it doesn’t always have to be the guy that pops the question you know, and instead of asking everyone on fb maybe ask him.
Girl it took my man 7 years. But I’d bring it up every few months. Like “I’m still waiting for my ring” “I’m tired of waiting” “I cant wait to be your wife”. Do you guys ever talk about the future?
You don’t have to be married. Just be happy with what you have.
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Still not married and been with the guy over a decade. 3 kids too. Probably never going to happen either. Right now I do not want to get married. My focus is buying a house for our children.
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He might not want to get married?
My husband and I married the same year we met.
Sometimes when you know you know.
Our 3rd wedding anniversary is Wednesday.
As the old saying goes, Why buy the cow if you’re getting the milk for free???
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You should definitely just talk to him, otherwise you’re gonna end up resentful 
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Just wait until he finishes school!!! Enjoy what you have now.
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Every situation is different. When I asked my husband why he married me, he said that I was the first girl to say no to him. Perhaps you should talk to him about it, tell him your side of things, and not be scared that you’re pressuring him. Trust me, guys know. Perhaps you need to give him an ultimatum to wake him up? But the choice is yours. You need to decide if you’re okay with not knowing if and when that ring is ever going to come.
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If it bothers you that much, ask him.
My now fiancé and I were together 7 years before he proposed and that was after our first baby and after buying our first home. I never pushed it, we were happy, and when it did happen it was perfect. I wouldn’t have had it any other way. In his proposal he apologized for taking so long, he just wanted it to be perfect.
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Being together for 8 years this should be an easy discussion for you both to have , discuss your future plans, goals ect . Tell him your feelings !!
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Marriage isn’t everything. Let’s say that he does purpose and you guys get married, then what? What will change between you two, aside from a shared last name? I do get where you are coming from. I used to feel like my boyfriend’s in the past didn’t love me or wanted to commit because I wanted us to get married. I thought that once you get married your in the “door way” to a successful life (marriage, kids, a nice house, etc…) But that’s a facade…not all the time for some people, but not all the happy and successful people out there are married or have kids and etc… Only YOU can dictate what will make your life happy and complete.
If I married my previous ex, the father of my children, I’d be living in hell. For 5 years I used to talk, hint and even at times push him into us getting married and having kids. Just before our daughter was conceived, I was fine in not getting married or having kids. I just wanted to stay by my ex’s side regardless. That was when he did a 180 and asked and pushed in us making a baby and get married. 7 years together, Two kids, one kid being a product of rape, and tons of abuse of all sorts, then him ditching out for something better…which is more of a blessing than anything. To me then putting a order for protection against him as I was stepping up against him and his abuse.
That’s not exactly how I originally planned out in what I wanted to do with my life…things you desire are not always what’s destined in your life. Whether all your life or for a short period of time. but I tell ya one thing, having two babies, a awesome job and a new fiancee, my life is starting to pull together. And as for my new fiancee. I love her with all my heart. But I am also perfectly okay if we never get married. Whether married or not, it doesn’t change our love and communication between us. Not getting married isn’t the end of the world. Just open up and talk to the dude, simply explain “Hey…we’ve been together for a while now, babe. I was wondering if you would like to take a step closer into something a bit more serious?” Then tell him what is bothering you. Be open to what he says and feels…cuz I guarantee you, if this situation was switched, and he was the one with all these wants and desires in you guys getting married and such, you’d feel like how he is right now, would that make it any better? No…he would then be known by others as a pushy jerk. …not calling you a pushy jerk! It’s just how some people would paint him if the roles were turned. They are probably painting him as a jerk for not purposing and doing what YOU want anyways. Marriage is a MUTUAL decision. If one wants to get married and the other does not or wants to wait until a particular period of time passes, then both should be understanding of each other’s wishes.
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Waiting until he’s finished school is an excuse! If he truly loves you, nothing should stop him from marrying you or proposing at the very least! And y’all don’t have to spend all that money on dresses, pics etc if y’all truly love each other go to the court house make it legal and then (after school?) when y’all do have the extra money then have the wedding of your dreams
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If you have good communication then discussing it should not be a problem and asking about the future is something couples should talk about. Just ask him how he feels about marriage and if that is a direction you guys are headed in. Honestly after 8 years it should be or you should informed that is not the future he wants.
I was like you, wanted a ring, wedding the whole shebang. 6 years later we finally got married through the court 2 years after we had our son. But honestly, had we not gotten married it wouldn’t have changed anything. What matters more is knowing 1000% he and I want each other through thick and thin. I feel like we wasted money on that certificate but at least we’re “official” right? Lol
Of course everyone is different so if YOU feel you need that to know he’s committed then why don’t you propose? I guarantee you though that he is fully committed or he would’ve already lost interest (which he obviously hasn’t.)
Me and my ex had two kids were together for almost 4 years and he never once hinted at marriage. He left me and found someone else. And got married within a year with her and bought a house to which me and him never did that either. I think deep down we both knew we weren’t meant for each other. Just letting you know my story so maybe you can relate.
Long enough already.We dated 18 yrs engaged 3 more years (too long)married 22 yrs now.Dont wait any longer to TALK IT OUT.
Hmmmm. You’re 32, if he waits til he finishes school in 4 years, that makes you 36. If proposes then, closer to 37 for wedding. That’s ok I guess, if you do not plan on having children. #1 - you’re a little older at that time and age may possibly be a risk factor. #2 - I’m not so sure I would want to have a baby that late in life. Just some things to think about.
Been with mine 16 years and have no intentions of ever getting married.
You have been together for 8 years and you feel he hasn’t committed?? After 8 years this should be a question you ask him not the Internet. His actions show his commitment, not a freaking ring. Stop comparing your relationship and your worth to others who have already gotten married, had babies, the house, etc. If you truly love him, you will wait. Do you really want him to propose just because you keep huffing about it or when he’s ready and genuinely wants to ask?
Hard pill to swallow… humans will do what they want to. And if they aren’t doing something, they don’t want to bad enough.
Studies have shown that often times, men will not commit when they are getting everything they want without the commitment.
I understand the dilemma and I’ve been there too girly. Best wishes.
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You live together and have been together for 8 years and you think he hasn’t committed to you? He’s building a life with you but because he hasn’t proposed he’s not committed? Why haven’t YOU proposed if you wanna get married so badly? Why are you waiting for him to do it?
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Been there and it went nowhere
Because he doesn’t want to. You already knew the answer.
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I mean clearly he has committed seeing y’all have been together for 8 years
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23 years here, 2 kids, a house, 2 cars and a dog. No papers here, but on our hearts official.
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Wow…8 years and no proposal
.I gave my husband a deadline. All our friends were getting married after only 3 years together. When we hit 4 years…i told him we get married or we split. Weddings dont have to cost a gazillion dollars. Ours cost $4,300 . Small church wedding…KFC catering…$400 on sale dress from David’s Bridal…decor and veil and jewelry from Amazon. Clear plates and white table covers and favors from Dollar Tree. Bought a chocolate melter and punch fountain from Amazon and got some invites can use in printer to print out wedding invites. Now can send invites through messenger digitally and post wedding info to Facebook on events. Bought fake flowers with tulle from Amazon and hot glued tulle ribbons to flowers for bouquet,toss bouquet,and pew flowers and had the prettiest aisle runner that was grey with roses that went down entire aisle bought from Amazon and really set the scene. Also…our wedding music used my boombox and a Twilight Breaking Dawn Part 1 CD for music going down aisle and then turned to radio for reception music. Had a friend take pics. Didnt have a honeymoon
All that aside…i dont think he is going to marry you even after 12 years together. It is time to sit down and give an ultimatum. Set a wedding date and start sending invites or it is time to split. See what he does then.
Why don’t you propose 
xx
I’ve been with my partner for nearly 10 years, have a 3 year old together and we have both decided we don’t want to get married.
You need to ask him.
It’s possible he wants the marriage to be the start of your family, which means your own place, stability, etc, and that isn’t something our generation is getting at all in general. Definitely talk to him because does he know you feel this way? Communication is the most important thing in any relationship
It sounds like you know why he hasn’t already! Going through school is expensive and stressful, and if you guys are living with/in his dads house I feel like that’s not really a “proud” place for a man to be when he proposes. Maybe (like you said he wants to be done school so that’s off his plate, and/or maybe he wants to have your own private space where you live together and it’s your HOME.
The other thing you said was “why the hell hasn’t he committed yet” but being together for 8 years with great communication and so much affection sounds like commitment to me!! There are definitely different opinions on commitment but if a ring is what you need/want so badly (even if it means not getting married for 4-5 more years) then you should probably communicate that to him.
Also you know how expensive weddings are, and if he’s still in school it seems illogical for him to propose now. Planning what ring to get, how and when to propose, and even buying an expensive ring is so stressful mentally and financially and I feel like he probably wants/needs to focus on his studies. Not to mention, even if that wasn’t an issue, he would then be planning a WEDDING while he’s in school, or you’ll be engaged for YEARS and you’re just going to get bombarded with more questions “why have you been engaged for so long and you aren’t married.”
Idk it seems like you guys are very happy where you are and maybe external factors are making you question things!
If you don’t force the question often times it won’t come. He is already getting wifey mode without having to buy the ring, fund the wedding, or pay the honeymoon.
Why would he change anything now
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Better have a conversation with him. A marriage doesnt have to cost zillions fyi…your signatures on a paper and its done
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… have you even discussed whether either of you want marriage to begin with? This is a discussion that should happen fairly on in a relationship, whether marriage someday is even something the other wants… who just sits around and waits with expectations? Your partner isn’t a mind reader…communication is key in a good relationship.
After 8 years id say it ain’t happening. Men typically KNOW within 3 months. If it’s been 8 years… yikes. I’d ask him about it tho. See how he feels about the idea of marriage
Not everyone wants to get married! You need to sit down and have a conversation with him and find out if that’s what he wants
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Why does the man have to do it? 
He won’t be marrying you. If you are living/renting a room in his dads house and your career is a baby sitter while he goes to school. I guarantee he will dump you around the time he graduates. He will want to enjoy his new lifestyle and he’ll probably not want to support you, he will meet women at his level and will want that. My advice to you is use these four years, get yourself an education and build something for yourself, cuz if he were to leave you today…would you be ok? Your 32, now come on!
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You’re 32 and I’m presuming he’s around the same age and he’s not done with school yet… don’t mean to be rude but that was one of the first things that came to my mind… If he hasn’t proposed after 8 years I’m sure there’s no reason for him to do it now… I mean why should he as he’s already got all the benefits of marriage without being married
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Ask him you’ll get your answer rather than waiting for him!
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Don’t need a ring and piece of paper to live your lives together. You can do all of the things you want without having to be married. A marriage is basically a relationship with a ring on it. If you love each other and are happy together, will a ring and piece of paper change that? A ring a piece of paper won’t suddenly make you committed to one another, or make you want to spend your loves together. You have that now, without it.
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I told my now husband that I wanted financial stability from the both of us before I wanted him to propose. We were both living separately with our families & I wanted to be living together & I didn’t want a long engagement. After 3.5 years of dating, we finally moved in together & 2 months later, he proposed. We were married 10 months later. It probably isn’t that he’s not committed to you, he has goals in mind, as you mentioned above. If you’re not having these conversations, don’t make assumptions & be angry about it. Talk to him.
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Ask him to describe his desired future. See if he includes you in his answer. If he doesn’t see a future with you in it after 8 years, you are wasting your time
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Your comment of I am so grateful to be with him and thankful makes me wonder if you know your worth. Make a list of the things you do to make him happy make a list of the things he does to make you happy. Look at that list and realize anybody’s lucky to have you. Also have a deep conversation with him.
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I’ve been with the same guy for almost 11 years now. We have 4 children together and I have 2 from another relationship from before. He loves the 2 that is not biologically his like his own. We are not married. We are both fine with that bc we love each other and are committed to each other. We don’t need rings and a peace of paper telling us that were married.If you love them and are committed to them and the relationship is fine then why worry about the ring’s and a peace of paper?
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Girl leave! I was in the same position as you. With my ex and at the 8 year mark folks kept asking why we weren’t married when other around us were together for less time we getting married and starting families. I gave him another three years and a baby and after 11 years together unmarried I dipped. I’ve been married to someone else now for 6 years together 13. Best choice I ever made.
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My husband and I were together for 12 years before we ever got married. He didn’t even propose. We just eloped lol. We have a wonderful relationship, we just didn’t do the “normal” relationship stuff
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My opinion is you’re just going to have to bite the bullet and talk to him about it. You can say you don’t care or aren’t in a rush, but if that were 100% true you wouldn’t feel this way. This kind of thing builds resentment if it lingers in the air. Let him know gently that a larger commitment is something you desire, and then give him time to make that move. Don’t throw your relationship away or think it’s doomed because he hasn’t asked. It sounds like you have a wonderful relationship, and I don’t think it’d be as hard of a conversation as you might think. He simply might not realize it’s important to you. Men are pretty literal (in my experience), if you haven’t mentioned the importance and he’s busy with school and such, it’s probably just not on his radar. Good luck and keep priorities straight! A good man is a good man, ring or not
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Ask him. Noone can answer that but him. That’s definitely a conversation you should have with him.
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If he’s that wonderful, he’s worth the wait, he wants it to be the right time.
My daughter dated 8+ years and got asked the same thing, then she was asked when are you having a baby? Which they never did, it’s each couples personal choice!!
Now they’re married 18 years, and he’s the BEST husband ever!! Don’t give up on a good man, they’re very hard to find!!
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He is not going to marry you. Work on empowering yourself with SELF-LOVE & SELF-RESPECT ask for what you want…now. If he doesn’t want the same thing now, move on. You teach people how to treat you…
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Why don’t you propose to him?
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Marriage isn’t everything, why not just be happy with the relationship you have? What matters is being happy together not marriage. There’s married people who divorce in the first year. He’s already proven he’s committed to you by being with you for 8 years. Loves more important than a ring
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You say, “the communication between us is perfect,” but it’s clearly not, if you aren’t able to talk about your future plans together. A relationship - and especially a marriage - can’t be truly successful without good communication.
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Some guys are wired differently. I was with my wife for 8 years before a proposed and now we are happily married for 3 years. (We had our anniversary of when we started dating yesterday) I had some stuff I wanted to accomplish in life before I wanted to settle down. I wanted to establish a nice career and make sure we were secure financially and just continue to be a young fun couple for awhile. Before marriage, kids, buying a house, cars etc. It will happen when you least expect it. If you are Happy like you say you are, you have nothing to worry about
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He most likely has things he wants checked off before that happens. The simplest way to get your answer is to just ask him. Ask him if marriage is in the future for you guys, or if he’s happy the way things are. Once you get your answer make the best decision for you.
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Maybe he thinks your relationship is perfect as it is and doesn’t want to possibly do something that could change things.
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No reason to get married when he getting the cookie without having to pay for it. As a man, we desire to reach a certain point financially before we think we’re ready to get married. As a woman, it’s up to you too assure him that all that is not needed. I had this mentality before me and my wife got married but after some deep conversations we went ahead and got married. I’m still not where I want to be but this was the best decision I could’ve made. And as a sidenote, we didn’t have a big wedding. One day we will but our priority now is getting a house/rental property.
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If your life is perfect as it is with him why do you need to change it so much by getting married? What is that going to change? I’ve been with my partner nearly 9 years not engaged ect… not fussed either 
happy as we are. If your only 32 why rush? Clearly planning on spending the rest of your life together so doesn’t matter if it doesn’t happen for another 20 years
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I’ve been in a relationship for 8 years and have no ring, I too get sick of the question of marriage but I always say I don’t need to be married I’m happy just to be doing life with him and don’t need to be spending money for one day to be kissing him in front of family and friends and get a certificate for it. We talk about marriage but both on the same page in no hurry for that paper. He brought us a dog mainly to keep me company when he worked away. Don’t have kids. Another question that actually gets me down. Got a few complications but that’s for another day. We are now in the early process of building but I pushed on that idea. I know he’s happy just to stay renting but sometime you have to give them some encouragement and little bit of a push. I would be having a talk about marriage with him, But nothing is stopping you on proposing to him.
Not a mind reader. Nobody can read minds. Tell him how you’re feeling. Ask him if it’s something he wants or not. When I met my husband I made it very clear I was looking for marriage and a commitment and if he didn’t want that it was okay but please don’t waste my time. We dated for about a year and got engaged marrying later that same year.
Communicate with your partner!
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If a man doesn’t propose to you after 2 years together & definitely if kids are involved, odds are, he’s NOT going to marry you. Move on.
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Sounds like everything is great maybe he doesn’t want anything to change and ruin something. Just ask is marriage off the table? Decide what your guys future is from there.
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I remember being in your position - together 4y, I was 30yo, I wanted a family BUT I wasn’t going to start a family w/o being married. We had been living together for 3 years at that point and I was getting seriously antsy. NYE 00-01 I told myself, if I’m still his just his gf this time next year we’re having a talk about where this relationship is going. I never told him the ultimatum- I don’t believe in them and I wanted him to propose bc HE wanted to not bc of some threat. He proposed 11d later, we married 2 years later.
I get the antsy part. There was a baby shower I attended that I left in tears bc the mom to be had met, dated, gotten engaged, got married and was pg all w/in 4y … it was HARD on me.
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Why do you need to get married? Religion?
Just enjoy what you have!
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