Well my advice would be to ask him. I wouldn’t put it as “where is my ring” or “why haven’t you asked me to marry you” but I would bring up the topic of marriage and ask if he ever sees you guys getting married some day. Maybe he is waiting to graduation or maybe he thinks you don’t want it because you never bring it up. I get the whole don’t want to pressure him thing and you should tell him that…but do you want to spend another 8yrs in a relationship if you know he will never marry you? Wouldn’t you sooner know so you can decide if you want to stay in the relationship knowing it won’t lead to marriage.
Honestly, if he’s that great and you get along so well, why the need to get married? Sometimes it is not about commitment to one person, as it sounds like he is committed to you and you to him, but more about marriage in general changing everything. When I was feeling like marriage was an answer, I began to realize how stupid it was to do that. If things are great between the two of you, just enjoy it, unless it’s a religious reason and then you need to discuss it with him. If your religion says you need to be married and you cannot accept anything other than marriage, then you might need to face the fact you might be with the wrong person. Still, if things are as amazing as they sound, isn’t he worth waiting for? Not many women get a man like that and have them like that for so long. I have a man like that and we were talking to each other and going out for a total of 12 years before we got married. If they’re a great person, and the relationship is that great, then just don’t worry and it will happen when he’s ready. Us women always want the man to be ready on our time, but when the roles are reversed, everyone tells the man to wait for the woman if she’s worth it. It should be no different this time.
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Why hasn't my boyfriend proposed? - Mamas Uncut
Ask him what his plans are
I would communicate with him that is what you are wanting after this many years together and go from
There . It will never be the perfect time in life so if it’s important to u say something 
maybe ask him, But at the same time, if everything is perfect, what really is the problem???
Uhm…… you’ve been together 8 years and you feel he hasn’t committed to you yet? Honey, he has.
A wedding doesn’t mean commitment. I feel like you want a wedding more than you want a life partner. They are two different things. Being married is just a piece of paper.
If you want a commitment, you have one
Has he ever said he wanted to get married 
Only advice I have is to talk to him. I don’t think 8 years is a long time but others seem to
Stop making commitment synonymous with engaged. You don’t have to be engaged to be committed. 8 years together? That’s commitment. You literally described a great relationship, why do you feel the need to be engaged? Talk to him about all of this. He’s the only one that will be able to give you answers. Just remember, not everyone wants to get married. Doesn’t mean they are less committed.
The absolute only person who would know that answer, is him.
get a ring and ask him or tell him you want to get engaged 
Don’t ask 
I did and was told “you don’t deserve my last name” it wasn’t a very pleasant feeling 
I would just sit down with him and have a conversation about maybe when he’d like to make the next step just say it is something that you’d want and just say you don’t mind waiting just not a long long time. And all these people saying you don’t need to me married to be committed to some people getting married and engaged is just the icing on the top for us that’s all the validation we need and for some people it is a big deal. Just be honest with him x
You can still be engaged until he finishes school. Talk to him…make decisions based on what you want. You are obviously staying for the money, you obviously don’t work, start there, move out, live on your own, your life will open up to a world of possibilities…
I mean you could ask him. But why change things when its working? Its just a name change and piece of paper really.
Closed mouths don’t get fed. Let him know you have no intentions of playing house forever.
Had to read this again, obviously communication between you is NOT perfect…
If you’re communication is perfect, then maybe you should try to communicate with him about it
If ya’ll not having any disputes or arguments… someone is not thinking for themself. This kind of relationship is not normal. May I add…this is a big deal! You are giving 8 years of your life and he is taking it.
You know the old saying….
Why buy the cow when you get the milk for free!!
There’s no rule that you can’t propose to him, if you that worried about it.
You have the commitment, but you want the wedding. Your relationship seems perfect. Have you considered proposing to him?
Stop doing wifey things for a man that hasn’t given you the wife title🥰
You need to discuss this with him ASAP!
After 8 years together with a good relationship and no cheating…he is already committed to you. A marriage certificate is only a piece of paper that does not guarantee commitment
I say don’t sweat it. Every guy is different and it definitely takes some awhile to ask…you can always ask too, there’s no harm in that.
I’ve been with my man for 13yrs now. He proposed after dating 11yrs. Then pandemic happened and we postponed it to our 14yr anniversary. Your time will come and when it does, it will be all worth it!
Don’t stress.
You can commit yourself to someone and still never marry them. The commitment and love and memories are way stronger than a piece of paper anyways.
Your timeline does not have to look like everyone else’s for you to be happy. Forget the societal pressures and just enjoy your time with him.
Propose to him!
let him know you know he’s the one and and want to make it official whenever your lives allow it.
It may shock him but boohoo it’s shocking you and everyone else that he hasn’t asked yet and it’s not a bad kind of shock unless he takes male and female roles super seriously.
It’s not fun to sit by and wonder. This is a way to know where you both stand on it.
Honey there’s an OLD rule that stands True today, He is getting ALL the benefits of Marriage without the commitment of Marriage. So why would he Marry you? When will young Ladies today understand that behaving as a WIFE to a Man thats not your Husband Dosent give him the incentive to make you his WIFE. BOYFRIEND’S DON’T GET HUSBAND PRIVILEGES PERIODT
Depending on where you live, if you’ve been in a relationship and living with a person for a certain amount of time you are considered common law married
If your great at communicating then communicate with him. Just ask what’s your views on marriage maybe there’s a reason. There’s no harm in sitting down one day and saying hey we’ve been together this long our relationship is amazing what do you think the next step is… maybe he has a plan you don’t know about maybe he wants to have a house and money saved to give you this dream wedding, you’ll never know until you communicate
You answered your own question.!!!
You haven’t asked so he doesn’t think marriage is that important to you!!
9 years in March and I’m in the same boat. Sometimes I feel envious of other people because of their 1 or even 3 year relationship engagements. But everyone is different I tend to hold my emotions in about this thing due to not wanting to upset my man. We’ve already conversed about it so we’re on the same page… he wants to be more accomplished and prepared. We have three kids, pets and a home so my situation is different. I don’t need a wedding right now… just the title of becoming his wife would do! My daughter is 8&1/2 and constantly asking when we will be getting married lol. She wanted to be a flower girl but now she’s feeling “too old” she’ll be my maid of honor and our youngest will be our flower girl. It will all work out when life is ready. It truly is a just piece of paper if he’s committed and you’re In love 
I say don’t sweat it but definitely have a delicate conversation and maybe ask him if there is a particular reason why so you are both on the same page. 
much love.
Honestly it’s something you have to ask him about. If you guys have never had the conversation, he might not know how you feel.
What’s a piece of paper going to change for u??
Not all guys wanna get married. It annoys me my boyfriend changes his mind on it. Weve been together for 11yrs this nov.
But he just doesnt see the point of it.
You gotta talk to him about it
I thought your guys conversation was good thought guys would have had that conversation already
I am so surprised your relationship has lasted this long with such a harsh lack of communication. You you really not had his conversation with him…ever?
Sounds like he may just be smart and finish school first. A piece of paper doesnt change someones committment to you. But if u communicate that good…then open your mouth and ask him instead of asking facebook…
As the old saying goes" why buy the cow when you are getting the milk free"
I understand wanting the ring etc., but honestly, marriage is just a legal piece of paper. However, if you feel like that is what you want, just talk to him. Holding stuff back just creates disharmony and resentment.
Marriage is a piece of paper and a last name. You can have everything a marriage has without technically being married. 9 years with my SO and yes id like to get married eventually but no rush. Im already basically married 
Some woman on here are just so insensitive. Your entitled to feel the way you do! You obviously know he’s committed since you two have been together for 8 yrs. It sounds like you two have a great relationship. I would definitely talk to him and start out by saying no pressure,just curious if marriage is in our future. Good luck xx
I made sure to let my now husband know when we started dating that my end goal was marriage because it was important to me.
I let him know that I would not wait forever and if he didn’t have similar ones to let me know now because I wasn’t going to invest my heart into someone who didn’t have the same goals as I did.
Also common law marriage is only recognized in a few States still, I think maybe you 6 or 7.
Have y’all ever discussed marriage? Ask him how he feals and his goals for the future.
Also I really have to disagree with the comment marriage is just a piece of paper! If you don’t believe in it or it’s not that important to you, that is fine but please stop using this rude phase. Marriage and that marriage certificate is extremely important to a lot of people.
It’s not only seen a stronger commitment, it protects you and your partner if something were to happen to one of you, If you’re incapacitated and you cannot make your own choices your choices reverts back to your parents if you are not legally married. And all property not in both names goes into probate if there is no will or lagal papers.
Most people do not think about the legal protection there is in that piece of paper.
Some people don’t want marriage. Other people wanna make sure it’ll last. It took my cousin 9 years to feel comfortable getting married to her husband. She had a fear of it not lasting so she waited until it felt like it would. 🤷🏻
It’s not coming girl. 8 whole years and NOTHING? Nahh
How on earth in 8 yrs, has this conversation never come up??? You don’t mention age, but nevertheless, security while living together is important to most. Sounds like he’s got it made. Living in Dad’s house (which he’ll probably inherit in his name only anyway), babysitter built in, everything a good wife will invest in, while HE finishes school. What about your school? What about having something in both your names? And a marriage doesn’t have to be big $$$. Elope and have a small party afterwards.
Put the money into a down payment on a house together instead. Just sit down and start talking to HIM. Communication is key in any and everything relationship.
If your communication is that amazing, why not ask him?
Iv been with my boyfriend for almost 11 years and still no ring. Hes the type that says a piece of paper won’t change anything
If you’re planning on having children you need to get going.
Men KNOW what they want if he isn’t committed to you that’s not a good sign on top of that some men won’t buy the cow if the milks free.
I think this is why it’s important to set expectations getting into a relationship. My now-hubby knew it was important to me from day one and I wouldn’t be one of those women playing housewife for the next decade. We also moved in together before we were married (something I was not super comfy with but had to compromise because of our situations at the time). We were together just shy of 2 years when he proposed. Married six months later.
He is committed if y’all doing what you are trust me a paper and ring aren’t that big of a deal
Why don’t you propose to him instead?
My husband and I just got married last year and we had been together since 2010. He was sure he wouldn’t get married again. Some people it just takes more time
My mother was a very wise lady and said to each and every single one of us that if there is no proposal in the first two years, you will not marry the person you are with. You know what, she was right. I was with my ex for 7 years engaged for 3 and never married. I met and married my husband in 3 months, and we never looked back. I have friends who were together for 10 years and never married. Brok up and married in 1 year, 2 tops.
If you have made him comfortable, he has no need to ask.
Your comment about being grateful for knowing him stopped my heart… No Love, a man must be grateful for YOU. Please try get a bit of perspective as I have no doubt you are worthy of someone wanting more than gratitude
I have been in a committed relationship for 32 years. We both made it perfectly clear we did not want marriage. We had both just got out of an ugly marriage. So we knew what marriage felt like. I have the ring, the house we both have children and grandchildren we see often. I guess, if you really need the paper you maybe waiting for a long time. I just know I love him as much as he loves me and that is enough.
I would just ask him. I wouldnt go hey wheres my ring, but more like his idea and views on marriage and kids and if its something he sees or want in his future. Im also a little confused though, you guys have been together 8 years, how has this topic never come up before?
To me it sounds like he is getting all the wifey benefits without having to make you his wife so he sees no point in legalizing it on paper. My mama always told me to show the man you have the potential and will be the wife he wants and needs but don’t do all the wife stuff without a ring
Why not just ask him about it? Has marriage ever been a thing you guys have talked about? Idk it’s weird to me how big of a deal marriage is lol my BF and I have been together for 6 years have have two kids and don’t plan on getting married anytime soon because we both don’t care about marriage. But if you’ve never had that talk then maybe it’s time to have it.
Been with my boyfriend almost 18 years. Still no marriage, but I changed my last name. He says a piece of paper isn’t going to change anything between us which it hasn’t but the big day would be nice. I’m happy either way because I’m with him
It sounds like you’ve been on a committed relationship for the past 8 years. Will getting married change anything? You can buy a house and do all those things jointly with or without being “legally” married.
Not going to happen,he is set up the way it is
You are good friend with benefits. He has all the benefits so there is no reason to commi
Always heard why buy the cow if you already have the milk
You’re in the prime of your life. If you want something, make it known that you want it! #noregrets
My husband and I were together for 12 yrs., and we had 2 children before we ever got married. We have been married for 22 yrs. now. I was against marriage, I had already been married once, and had seen my mother go through 2 divorces and I was not in a hurry to go through that. Maybe your boyfriend just doesn’t have much faith in marriage, if it’s not broken don’t fix it type of deal. Time to talk to him, let him know your feelings and listen to how he feels about marriage. Take it from there.
we are almost 12 years together come nov. not married lived together 9 yrs no the feeling and have to kids together 9 and 10 and i have another from prevouios relationship much older.engagement well long story there.
Talk to him and let him know your feelings… this is something that should be communicated of course it’s common sense to some people and you want it to come “natural” but I made it VERY clear to my husband who was obviously once my boyfriend that I wanted to get married at that point once they know I feel it should somewhat be out of your hands. The ball would be in his court, but also get his feelings on marriage and what he wants.
If he wants to commit let me tell you he will. I dated my husband for quite a while 2 years as I have a child from a different relationship… I took my time and wanted to be sure this was someone I wanted to commit to and introduce to my son. Well after 2 years he came around and after a year we got engaged last May and just got married in July. In the beginning I made it clear as to what I wanted and if we weren’t on the same page we shouldn’t be together because it’s not what we both wanted but just know that once you speak about it they know and like everyone else says you don’t do all wife duties as a girlfriend.
Me and my bf have been together almost 12 years and we aren’t married either. We have a 6 year old together and are happy with our relationship. Yes I want to get married and have his last name, he just doesn’t know if he wants to get married. I have 4 promise rings that he’s bought me and I wear them, maybe one day one will be an engagement ring!!!
It took my fiancé eight years to ask. (Proposed Christmas 2020) he 100% knew marriage was something I wanted, we’d discussed it a few times previously but he still took his time.
I was with my husband for 10 yrs before he proposed, if it bothers you talk to him about it and let him know how u feel!
Was with mine 7 years with 3 kids before he finally asked
You’d literally have to ask him
You NEEEEED to just sit down and talk to him! My husband proposed after a few years but just wasn’t ready to actually get married. I didn’t listen and we got to about 9 months from the ceremony and called off the wedding.
We finally actually talked about it and figured it out. Yes he should have been more vocal about it but I should have listened more to his quieter statements when he did say them.
We didn’t get married until 4 years after our original date but it was so worth the wait
Honestly sounds like you just want a nice ring and a wedding. The commitment is already there. Marriage is literally a piece of paper and lots of money. The commitment is there, just not as materialistic as you’d like.
What is the benefit of being married if your living together with the gugoookagoo and all. The only benefit for you at this point is so if you break up you would get half of his shit.
What does the Bible say?
Maybe because you’re still living in his dad’s house he doesn’t feel as if he’s prepared for that. I know a lot of guys that unless they’re 100% able to take of, provide for & financially support their wife, they won’t have one (aka they won’t propose).
Could be something like that?
I was with my husband for nearly 8 years before he proposed. I went out of town (for the first time in years) to be with family after having a grim prognosis. While I was gone he ordered the ring. It was a short trip but two days after getting back I had already planned a week long trip to visit my sister. It almost seemed like he needed to miss me. Family on both sides had been telling him for years to propose or let me go but nothing made him do it. It was me leaving, knowing full well I was coming back, but missing me that made him realize he didn’t want to ever lose me. He proposed, we got married 5 months later and decided to start trying right away for a family. It will happen when the time is right, but maybe he needs to miss you. I know all too well how you feel. Maybe take a trip so he can miss you or talk to him and see where he stands. I wish you the best!
Took my husband 12 years to finally get married and he didn’t even really “propose” we just looked at each other one night and I said jokingly “should we get married?” he shrugged his shoulder “I guess so?” 
Mer Grey it is a commitment you make before your friends, family, & God. It’s a life long vow and one of the most important decision you’ll make.
I just don’t understand how people have all these burning questions and never ask them of the person they’re with. If you wanna know, ask.
Why cant you propose to him?
My husband didn’t wait long. We started dating in 2010 married me in 2012
Honestly, if I were him and I knew you were that hung up on a ring and getting married I’d run for the hills or be very worried. I’ve been with my man for five years and I am absolutely comfortable not getting married. You know you guys are together, do you really need a piece of paper to validate what you have? Throw a big party, have a ceremony to celebrate your relationship but you don’t have to be married. I’ve been married, and at 27 I was a widow. Your life is so much easier not married.
I would be honest and seriously discuss it with him or you’ll just be left to overthink everything.
When I was growing up the question was WHY SHOULD I BUY THE COW WHEN I GET THE MILK FREE. ???.
8 years sounds like a commitment to me.
What’s getting old???.you want a ring but not the commitment:thinking:
To everyone on here saying it’s just a ring or piece of paper; if that man ends up hurt or hospitalized she will not be allowed in and she will not be allowed to make any medical decisions either.
Why can’t you propose to him?? If your that bothered by it??? It’s not like females haven’t asked their guys before Sarah Diveley
Maybe he doesn’t want to marry you? I’m not trying to be a dick but…it is a real possibility.
Communication is key here. Sit him down and ask him what his future plans are. Tell him yours. Express that you would love to marry him. Don’t ever give him a time line tho.
Has he cheated in the past 8 years ?! He is committed girl, putting a ring on your finger and changing your name doesn’t make him any more committed 🤷
There could be any number of reasons and only he knows. Maybe he doesn’t see marriage as important when you’re already living as married. Maybe he wants to achieve certain things first…finish school/move/etc.
My aunt and her man had been together since they were 18 ( the year I was born) and together until he passed 11 years ago. They were committed but didn’t ever marry. I believe marriage doesn’t exactly have to be in the equation. I got married but we lived together before we did. Don’t rush a good thing. Hugs
Just ask him but obviously don’t pressure him, he probably has his reasons. 
“Men wont commit unless you require it.” -Steve Harvey