He could fall into my category- the folks who can be deeply in love but don’t need an absurdly overpriced party and a piece of paper that I get half your shit when this ends-
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Been with my boyfriend 20 + yrs was married two times they say third times a charm but I’m not willing to find out
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If you need a ring or piece of paper to confirm his commitment, maybe you need to think about why, having been married, divorced and in a new relationship, it’s not about being married, my partner and I have a lifetime commitment and have no intention of getting married, I trust his word that he loves me and wants to be with me forever, marriage is exactly the same but bloody expensive!
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Why buy the cow when you get the milk for free…if he won’t make a commitment he won’t lay his life down for u…simple…you settled
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My grandparents have been together since their mid teens and got engaged in their early 20s when they had kids. They got married a few years ago in their early 60s. You don’t need a piece of paper or a ring to show you’re committed to someone 
.
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This one gets me, everybody keeps saying why worry about it if you’re happy together, it’s just a piece of paper or a title. It’s much more than that. It’s stability and a guarantee that if something happens to either of them their partner can make life altering decisions. If they’re not married and say hypothetically something happens to him. His family could come in and make all the decisions regarding his life and/or death. And she wouldn’t be able to do a thing. Also say like if they have their own cars but they’re in just his name and something happened to him. And his family wants her car but since it’s in his name and they’re not married they could take her car from her. A marriage certificate isn’t just a piece of paper or a title. It’s a physical representation that they’re both going to be taking care of eachother now and always
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… the communication between you is perfect…yet, you should rather ask Facebook about your relationship than your boyfriend…
this makes none of the sense in the world 
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It’s just a piece of paper, babe. Don’t let something as trivial as a ring define your relationship. Be happy with the position you all are in and that’s it’s a healthy Relationship.
Been with my mister for 23 yrs, not married, living together… why spoil perfect.
Some people are just not into the whole Marriage business, I’ve been with my girlfriend 10 years have children a house pets etc but still don’t see marriage coming up until at least our 30s.
COMMUNICATE. Does he know this is important to you? I told my now husband I pictured myself married. However I said I did not understand doing so until we bought our house. I told him I didn’t want to be in a relationship for 10 years without the commitment. These are things we had discussed earlier on in the relationship. People aren’t mind readers. After 5 years, we bought our house and a few months after he proposed. Our relationship works so well bc we communicate what we want and need from each other. That’s my advice.
Make sure you will always have the means of providing for yourself before considering marriage and children. Did you get to go to college or trade school so you can make a living doing what you have interest in? Marriage certificate does not mean much to me. You must know and trust in your partner. Don’t let other people make you feel less loved and pressured because your not "married " Be happy. Follow your heart 
Just ask. Hey babe, we’ve been together 8 years now and I’m wondering what you see for our future? Not hard. Communicate.
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Oh my god, ASK. The answer to a problem between you and your partner is to talk to them about it like 99% of the time. But if he’s going to school full time, and you’re living at his dads house after 8 years together, what makes you think a ring is gonna change anything?
If this is important to you, you must let him know it is. Open, honest and civil communication is very important in a relationship, and we should not feel afraid to bring up anything that is important to either one. It should be face to face, not on Facebook.
I personally was in the same boat we lived together with no mention of marriage by him I finally decided to give him the jolt I told him if he didn’t want to be married that was fine I shouldn’t and wouldn’t make him but I did so I would not be signing the lease again in 7 months when it was due.
At first he he said he understood my decision and I was heart broken then he proposed soon after.
8 years and he’s still with you? He has committed. Marriage is honestly such an expensive thing. Weddings are alot and it’s stressful and he’s in school still. Relax. How much do you expect will change just because you have a ring.
He probably doesn’t want to get married. A significant other can be committed without marriage. U should bring it up so he knows how u feel but leave it there. If your paths don’t align, end the relationship. Move on and find someone who wants what u want as well
4 more years until he finishes school seems like a long time…put your life plans in gear …do some schooling and have the serious talk about where he feels he ( & you )are in his time line
Just have the conversation. You’re 32…time to grow up. You said your communication was great…apparently not that great.
so many are saying the same thing. Sit down with him and have a frank discussion and make sure you are on the same page, if not got find somebody who is. God will guide you.
You all ready gave him everything and the desert so why should he commit , tell him you want to get married there shouldn’t be a reason not to God Bless
Marriage is a title and it can destroy what is good. Me and my partner have been together for 12 years , idgaf If he gives me a ring or if we get married because we’re happy together. And that’s all that matters.
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Like the saying… why buy the cow when your getting the milk for free. It sounds like you are already living the life of a loving wife, so why would he feel the need to do anything different or permanent! Geesh and your worried about making a big deal out of it??? Well if it wasnt then whats the problem
Be thankful you have found ghe perfect friend. Just enjoy what you have. Its its meant to be it will happen. If not just enjoy what you do have.
Lol. That damn piece of paper has ruined perfectly good companionship. She legit said everything is perfect, but no blood diamond and a piece of paper is insulting. Maybe he’s just smart because financially it makes no sense to get married haha.
How old are you? If youre young you have plenty of time! We first got together when i was 19 I waited about 6 years. We waited till we got a house together, savings, stability i guess.
Just talk to him about it. Maybe he thinks you want the big thing and he may not have the money for it.
You dont have to pressure him but the conversation needs to be had
You can have a committed relationship without being married. However, if marriage is your expectation, you could be in trouble. You’re already giving him the benefits of a wife. Talk to him. Don’t give him an ultimatum. Find out where he stands and make your choice from there.
Have you talked marriage? Maybe he doesn’t want to get married in general this is something that must be talked about and if you’ve good communication then you should start talking about it
Well. Maybe it is like a lot of people are saying, that he just doesn’t want to marry you. Orrrr it could be because he went through all that shit in the past and it never worked out. So maybe its because all of that, he doesn’t want to marry you. You know him best. Don’t say anything. Do what you can to take care of yourself. Maybe he doesn’t want to break it off because he feels like you’re stuck.
I was 15 when I met my now husband and he was 18. Didn’t get engaged until I was 25 and married at 27. It was worth the wait! X
Commitment looks different to everyone. Sounds like he has committed. Just hasn’t signed the paper. Depending on where you live you may already be legally common law married.
Maybe he’s really nervous… It took my husband now 10 years to propose. Bc he was scared. It is what it is. Can’t compare your relationship to others. Just bc you see other getting rings and house and what not doesn’t mean anything. All the people that we knew who got married b4 we did are not divorced and hate each other. Something’s are better to wait for. But I get it. You just want to be an official family. But sweetie it’s only a piece of paper.
Just ask him if he would ever like to get married. Do you really want to be 60 when your child is 20
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Comparing yourself to other people is never a good thing to do. You should definitely talk about it, but you should also be happy that you have lasted so long where others have failed, if you’re still comparing.
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You should have a good open communication after those years talk to him share your feelings you will be closure or maybe wasted time but dont hold in girl
I think guys believe once they propose they are rushed into picking a date. Maybe you guys can sit down and talk about tje future. You can find a way to squeeze in being engaged for a while till u guys are settled.
He is committed to you. He’s been with you 8 years. Why isn’t that enough for you? Why need materialistic things to prove love?
Your boyfriend is not ready!! 8 years ,really 8 years He your perfect guy but , He suffering from " extreme cold feet" and will continue to be a perfect boyfriend ,but not marriage-material. Careful if you give him an ultimatum, you might not like what he picks
You don’t have to have a big wedding , most of those people forget about it… you deserve to know, why don’t you pop the question,? It’s not uncommon anymore
9 years, two kids and a mortgage here and still waiting lol
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He’s already getting wifey benefits, y’all already live together…
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He will never ask you as you are living together why get married it is like you are already , maybe that is how he feels .If you do not know him after all that time you never will .He still will have to get a job after he finishes school and that may never happen not everyone gets to work in the field they went to school for , life goes by so fast then it is too late , think of what makes you happy , then there are no regrets.
“Communication between us is perfect”
Just flipping ask him what’s going on then 
he might not know it’s what you want he’s not a mind reader
Youre together after 8 years,that’s commitment in itself,marriage is outdated and overrated imo,you’re better saving you’re money to plan the holiday of a lifetime,do you really want to fork out thousands to pay for everyone to enjoy you’re day?I’d rather have the trip,marriage isn’t going to be the key to a better relationship,sometimes it can cause issues,unless you feel taken for granted then sit him down and explain how you feel,he may be unaware of how you’re views differ from his
Way to many red flags! He seems to be dating himself ! Good luck but at your age his playing.
I married my husband after being together for 8 years (he didn’t want to be married EVER as he doesn’t see the point🤷♀️). It took time, lots of discussions and compromise but we ended up getting married. We agreed to a small ceremony and get together with family at a later date. We are happy as ever, so don’t listen to those that say he doesn’t want to be with you. That isn’t always the case.
Some men can/are happy to just being settled in a commited relationship that they don’t see the reasoning behind marriage. My mother and step dad are an example, they’ve never been married but have been together since I was in 3rd grade. They decided they were happier without a piece a paper binding them.
If you’re completely set on getting him to tie the knot, just ask him his thoughts on it. Having a kind, open discussion will help show you where he stands.
He already has you installed like a wife, why would he make it official? You let it ride for 8 years, why would he change the status quo now? You set up this house just the way it is. If you wanted different, you should have set those ground rules from jump. Expectations, clear as day, and if they don’t happen, you leave. This isn’t rocket science
Have the difficult conversation. Then, let the chips fall where they may.
After 7years it’s common law marriage and recognized by law in some states
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8 years is a long time. Marriage is obviously important to you so you need to make sure he knows that and that you’re not going to wait forever. Have you ever had a heart to heart conversation about it? Do you even know if he wants to be married? Some people have lifelong fulfilling relationships and are fine not being married. That might be what he wants. If it is, you need to know so you can make the decisions you need to make. There are a lot of commitment phobic guys out there that waste a lot of women’s time. Wishing you the best.
I think you should ask him. Communication is critical in any relationship.
You can propose to him. If he accepts, pick out your own engagement ring.
It can’t hurt to ask about future plans without speaking a word of marriage.
Look at the legal reasons to get married. Once married you have access to file on his social security when you get older, you have more legal access to medical records and decisions should he become ill, if the relationship is not working, each person has rights to keep personal and real property. You need to check your state’s laws regarding marriage and how it affects both of you. Good luck! It’s wonderful that you have found each other.
It was 14 years before my daughter got hers. She was in it for the ling haul and just figured if it happens, it happens.
You are 32. Time is ticking and if you want babies you are getting to old to wait. Ask him straight out what is the hold up or if that is even something he wants. If the answer is no or that he doesn’t know yet, than move on. Eight years is more than enough.
Why would he want to propose to you. He doesnt want a commitment. you are not getting any younger.
It’s a big scary step, and it doesn’t make anything easier. Sometimes a small thing like not having the money can delay it and put back to the back of his mind. Then if it’s not priority to you it’s not to him either. Pandemic has also put stuff like this on the rocks.
Honestly he just might not be THAT into you.
Or he may just not like the idea of marriage.
Your apparently so happy so why does it bother you?
If communication is good, why not ask what his goals are?
Like you said you can always just ask him. It’s solely the man’s job to always initiate the next step of relationships.
I’d tell everyone else to mind their own business. You don’t have to spend all that money on a wedding if you don’t want to. Is this question coming from a place in you or is it motivated by outside pressures? Do you know his views on marriage? Have you considered proposing to him, if that is the plan you share for your future?
Why don’t you discuss it with him? It’s an archaic idea that we have to wait to be proposed to by the man. It takes all equality out of the equation.
So if your all fured up to be married why haven’t you proposed?
Make it a requirement. Tell him when u want the ring by. If he is serious he will make sure u get it x
Why buy the cow when you get the milk for free? Still true talk whether you want to face the truth or not.
And here ya go … And old saying… Why pay for a cow when you can get the milk for free…
You have given him everything already. Why would he?
You both must have a talk about the benefits of marriage and the legal rights. Then dicide if stay as a consensual relation or no.
Omg sounds a lot like my situation. We’ve been together 8.5 years I’m 35 and I used to live with him and his dad. I live in my own place now. My bf has 2 large dogs one his and ones his dads. They’ve been together thier whole lives so they need to stay together. Finding somewhere with a fenced in yard is expensive and we could just pay a mortgage in stead. We are saving up and we talk about it. We are both finally ready. He also just bought a brand new 2021 tundra. He wants a roof top tent which ill use too. But it’s like 5000 something for the whole set up. He knows ill be pissed if he spends any more money like that with out getting me a ring first. He said he almost bought 7000 dollar jet skis the other day. But knew I’d ve pissed. I said your damn right od be pissed until I have a ring I don’t want to hear about anything else. I told him the other day I’ve been patient and it’s time for us to start our life together. He moved in with me an my sister when we first started dating then I moved in with him and his dad a couple years later. We spent every day together the first 3 years of our relationship. Then decided to take a break for about 6 month. So I went and stayed with my sister in Colorado 1200 miles away lol. I told him you want to take a break ok I dont really have anywhere to go in MN, and if I stay here we’ll still hang out. So I left for 6 months. He ended up coming out the last two months. And we found out we don’t want anyone else. Some days are tougher then others I just talk about it when it gets hard. Recently it’s harder I express that to him. Were both ready for the next step and saving money. Houses are fucking expensive not to even mention wedding stuff. We make it work our schedules are also completely opposite He works nights and I work weekends lol. I’m like never at my damn apartment ( which I also love having my own space ) I am ready to find the right space with him. Gets annoying when we just want to hang out and his dad’s always here. would be nice just to come over to his dad’s for dinner every week. Wed also take the dogs with us when we find a house. I feel you tho girl. Just express how you feel don’t hold that shit in. Even express your not pushing you just are saying how you feel and seeing where he’s at.
Maybe it has something to do with you not being able to just talk to him about this?
If you haven’t asked him, why are you asking us?
If communication is perfect, ask him if marriage and a family are goals of his.
You need to communicate. Ask him. I would’ve asked about 3-4 years ago if I were you 
Anyway, only way to get what you want is to be open and communicate
All y’all saying “you don’t need a piece of paper to be together,” if that’s what she wants (which it obviously IS), then that’s what she deserves!! 
OP, I would talk to your man about it and tell him you’re not trying to pressure him, you just need some clarification about where you all stand. 
If you have great communication, I feel like you wouldn’t have to ask the internet this question.
He is getting what he wants without giving a ring.
Been with mind 13yrs no marriage yet
You’re 32. Ask him if he ever intends to get married. Not to you. Just get married period.
By what you say he is already more committed than most married men. Just enjoy what you have cause you already have what any great marriage has!!
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Girl listen to me be grateful you found your forever sometimes a ring can change things I know the ring is an important step but it isn’t the most important thing. If your man says he wants to feel more accomplished and stable and then the ring then you let him be do not keep harping on it as long as the two of you are on the same page then it is nobody’s business. 32 is young. Freeze some eggs and call it a day.
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You’ve been with him for 8 years and always happy never fight yet you are asking when he will commit? It doesn’t take a ring to stay loyal or commit but you make it seem like that one question will keep you happy. You have been together 8 years why haven’t you talked to him about it instead Facebook?
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We’ll, if after 8 years he’s not asked you to marry him…he doesn’t want to marry you 
My mom had a saying .
The girlfriend of the student will not be the wife of the professional.
Why don’t you just straight up ask him? Posting this here, you’re just leaving yourself open to ridicule by people who are not in your predicament.
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To me, marriage is just a piece of paper really. My partner recently proposed after almost 6 years together, and with the current state of Australia (and thenheart break of losing my mum 4 months ago, we won’t be getting married any time soon. I always joked and said I just wanted a pretty ring. I knowna couple who had been together 10 years, had a kid, then got engaged. I guess it’s just how you feel about it. Talk to your partner about it. Communication is key, if you can’t talk to him about this, then you really need to think about what you want.
You get what you allow. Lay it out for him. Your interests aren’t the same. It’s obvious to everyone but you. I would be embarrassed to call him. “My boyfriend” still after 8 years. 
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do you want a wedding or a marriage? you don’t need the 1st to get the 2nd- call a justice of the peace- pick a time & go 'get ‘er done’- it’s the 21st century- you needn’t wait for HIM to take care of this ~
Have you talked about marriage together? It sounds like you need to have a conversation.
If you want a ring so bad, propose yourself 
talk to him, not everyone has the end goal of marriage. Comparing your relationship to others is just going to bring negativity into your life.
Yeah I mean communicating never works. Definitely don’t talk to him about your feelings
Men do what women let them get away with.
How dumb do you have to be???
Look honestly do u really need to get married? I highly recommended just being together like u have been trust me if your happy and he’s happy there’s no need to change anything, at the end of the day he’s with you and u are with him
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I guessed you lied about the communication is perfect, or you would already know the answer. Maybe it’s as simple as the old saying “why buy the cow if you get the milk for free.”
Pathetic. You two are supposedly in love, and enjoy your lives together, and you’re worried about some next thing? You aren’t in love. You’re just looking to be given something. If he’s in school, he needs to concentrate on that, not some wedding he’ll probably not care about.
My husband and I spent 7 years on and off before we got married. We ended up getting hitched in my parents backyard- my mom made my dress. It doesn’t have to be a zillion dollars, maybe he’s trying to save up for it?
You have to talk to him. You don’t know what’s in his mind. For all you know he could be ticking goals off a mental checklist before he asks you. Don’t leave unless you’ve talked first…
Stop acting petty, he seems to love you if he has stuck around for 8 years. If a ring is more important then the happy relationship/life you have with him I guess you better leave him 