Can you give me your opinions on why you think being a stay-at-home mum is hard? Especially with a young breastfed baby who wakes a minimum of two times a night.
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No breaks. Constant cleaning and caring for other people. It’s not easy
Taking care of the baby is a lot of work on top of it laundry cleaning house cooking dinner the best thing my wife did it’s when the baby went down for a nap meditated and masturbated
Reality sets in. You feel like all you do is sit home and eventually you get depressed, feeling like the world is on your shoulders. It’s definitely hard, but also rewarding.
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I’m sure they do a lot more than breast feed
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Because you feel alone, depressed, everything falls on your shoulder. Everything. Ive been a sahm since 2017, my kids are 3 and 2 and its been the most difficult thing I’ve ever done. Housework, their dr appts, all of that stuff is on me. Making sure laundry and bath time, grocery shopping, you can barely stop to breathe, and people start to take advantage of you. I dont have any friends. No one texts me or calls, except maybe one person, and while I get breaks, the housework never stops. Its hard, which is why if you have a partner you need to put your foot down about helping around the house, even if they work 12 hours a day (my bf does), your partner needs to help too.
Yes lmao. Its literally a 24 hour job you don’t get paid for. Anyone who says different obviously don’t know what they are talking about lmao.
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I was a stay at home mom for a year. It was a love/hate relationship. I loved being home with my kids but I hated that I felt I never got a break. I think alot depends on your support system. My bf would tell me b/c he worked when he was home he wanted to relax and didn’t understand that I never had time to myself or anything
It is very isolating. I mean you love the baby for sure they’re amazing. But the no sleep, very little social interaction, you have to speed shower and shaving your legs feels like a luxury. Also sahm’s are generally expected to do all the cooking, cleaning, shopping, doctors visits etc. combine that with 4 hours of interrupted sleep a day for about three to four months and even the most loving parent can lose their damn minds. It’s definitely challenging.
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Well as a current stay at home mom of almost 3 years I kind of want to kill myself rn 
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If it was easy men would do it🤷
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I wasn’t a stay at home mom because I had to work. So the juggling act gets more complicated than just breastfeeding.
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You spend your entire day taking care of your kids every needs, cooking, cleaning, running errands, ask types of stuff people don’t think about. Then taking care of yourself, spouse, and everything else that needs taking care of
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Isolation, exhaustion and lack of help and appreciation.
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For me, I didn’t know anyone or feel comfy with anyone other than my husband, kids or family. I was mostly ok with my own company
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I love being isolated and just being at home I have no kids but I don’t think I would find that part hard… I guess it would be more the broken sleep
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Sahm of 3, ages 6 months, 2 and 12. Some days I love that I am available for more kids for anything and everything and other days I feel like I’m losing myself. My schedule is wrapped around my kids needs and wants. I’m breastfeeding also so my body isn’t my body and sometimes I wish no one was touching me. The housework and laundry is endless and I haven’t slept more than a hour straight in three years. Being a sahm is exhausting but my kids know I’m here and I’ve never missed a game, a concert, a parent/teacher conference, a drs visit or anything related to my kids. Some days I wish I could go to a job and get a break but most days I love being able to give my children a home where they know mom is always there for them waiting for the next adventure.
You’ll see when you have another one a d they get older lol
It is literally keeping up on house hold chores, taking care of kids, taking care of pets (if any) making sure everything is running smoothly. It’s isolation, depression, lack of attention and appreciation. It’s exhausting for one person with no benefits no pay and no breaks. So yeah it’s a hard job
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Financially hard, and isolation. But if your SO can financially sustain you, you have the freedom to create a busy active lifestyle.
Find free programs like the library and mommy groups at church to create friendships with people like you.
Lack of normal adult people time makes it all seem neverending and overwhelming at times
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For me it wasn’t. I loved being a stay at home mom and if I could afford to be one now would do so again. But it depends on the the child too my oldest was a piece of cake my youngest a little more difficult but there was a decent age gap so that helped a lot. The most stressful part for me was barely having enough money to provide for my oldest when she was younger and it made it difficult to get by. But when I get home from work I still have to take care of them, cook clean stay up with them if they’re sick, wake up in the middle of the night and take care of them if they need me to do so. Sometimes barely getting any sleep and still have to go into work the next day. Being a stay at home mom isn’t for everyone and that’s okay. My SO had a harder time being a stay at home dad.
Bc the job never ends from sun up to sun up
Bc they suck the life out of you, figuratively & physically! Hugs honey 
Is there someone that can help for a few hours, at least once a week? Maybe you need a kid free break.
Young breastfed babies are fed and changed frequently. Much more often than bottle fed. The poo is often a diarrhea consistency resulting in a yellowish trail going up the back and sometimes in the hair. Breastfeeding alone can be exhausting for a mother of a young one since it burns many calories and mom is sharing her energy source, there’s also countless household chores to do. Holding and consoling a baby. All attention goes to baby while trying to keep up with the s/o’s emotional needs as well as other children. Mothering is an exhausting neverending job. We don’t have the luxury of clocking out and returning the next day.
Did a man come up with this brilliant question?
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Definitely lack of rest and self care! it’s exhausting breast feeding in general!
Because everyone needs adult interaction! I swear I thought I was going to murder people if I heard mommy, one more time. But it passes and once it’s over you’ll wish you had it back.
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Lack of adult interaction, constantly being touched, managing a house kids errands etc… it should be a partnership and u should have some help when ur SO is off of work.
It’s not a 9-5job it’s an all day all night situation. I’m a mother of two who’s a SAHM. Oldest child with needs and baby is 10M now. You don’t get breaks in between. Always catering to the kids and their needs before your own. It’s the late nights with the baby, and all day with both and your still in the same clothes for the past two/three days and lucky if you shower 
. Yeah it ain’t easy. But before you know it, it will be all worth it. The kids won’t stay little too long.
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It’s hard. Cause literally your not home just to take care of the baby you have to still cook clean laundry 
it never stops
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Their job never ends. And I mean never. No off days, no breaks, no me time.
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If you’ve never done it, you won’t think it’s hard. Or I didn’t anyways. I thought people were just exaggerating. I quit my job a little less than a year ago, I have 2u2 now and oh my this is the hardest thing I’ve ever done. Working 14hr days like I did before was easier than this
The funny part is you think breastfed babies always sleep and only wake twice a night 
my son wakes so much my partner has moved into the spare room so he can get sleep for work haha every baby is different.
I had twins. The sleep deprevation was honestly the WORST! Soon as you close your eyes, a baby is awake. Nappy changes, feeding, pumping, burping takes all night. Doing the housework & caring for a baby (or 2) while trying to push past the utter exhaustion you are feeling is another level. No break 24/7 & the isolation from everything you once had in your life. BUT watching your child grow into a little person is so worth it! Their kisses, cuddles & cheeky attitudes make me smile every day & think how lucky I am 
Staying at home has pros and cons.
Just like paying someone to raise your child 8 hours a day… pros and cons.
Nothings perfect.
Its what you can afford and if you will bring home enough money after paying a sitter.
Or if you can handle being at home.
I’ve done both.
I’m home currently
It also depends on your partner. If they’re understanding and realize all the work you do, it’s easier. My spouse didn’t appreciate it, was no help. But I thought I was fortunate to get be with my children until they were school age.
I would kill to be a SAHM. Basically my whole life, minus the job.
Could be worse, could have babies that need feeding though the night and still work full time.
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Being a stay at home mom is the equivalent to working 2½ jobs, with no days off.
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I work from home and a stay at home mom. This shit is no joke 
. I love my kids to death but its hard.
If you are cooking,cleaning and running after kids all day It’s a hard but rewarding job.
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Excessive touching.
Whining.
Lonely.
Overwhelming.
Expectations.
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No friends, no outing (really not even to grocery or fastfood), lack of sleep, stress, Finding hard even a quick shower or toilet, only see inside your home, same outfits and hair (no nails, massage, treatments or parfume), most times no one helping you (partner working, shopping, mom dad far, friends dump you bc they don’t want to be bothered with mommy-baby issues) unless you hire a nanny full day. Everyone in their bussiness so even you live with 6 people you will be alone in this
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I think it’s hard because we are expected to do everything since we are home. It doesn’t matter, both adults should share the responsibilities of kids, cooking and cleaning. Alot of spouses think because they work all day they come home and their job is done. However the other spouse is home all day cooks, cleans, tends to the kids, possibly up all night with the kids etc just to do it all again the next day.
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I dont have time to type a million reasons why it’s a bad idea. Grown ups need me time and adult time and being a stay at home mom your expected to do everything all day all night all the time no breaks. Its rewarding In it’s own way but eventually u will feel like u need a life outside of what your doing
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Like everyone said lack of a break, no one hour is as hard as you’d work at let’s say a manual labor job BUT imagine your job could call you at any moment, as much as they need you and you have to jump up and go. Whether you are sick, in the middle of going to the bathroom, halfway through a shower, etc… it’s very mentally draining. As well as if you have a partner who assumes you do all that 24/7 since they have to work. You lose your freedom, friendships, and hobbies.
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When my kids were breastfeeding, when they woke up, I would put them in bed with me , hook them up snd we would all go back to sleep
Their names are Christian n McKenzie
Stay at home mom, working mom, single working mom… IT’S ALL HARD
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Because it’s a 24/7 job with no sick days. It’s exhausting
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Being a stay at home parent is harder in my opinion than working an extremely physical full time job w/ overtime.
I use to work that and 80 hour weeks and when I was home 6 weeks post partum those flimsy 6 weeks were harder than my 80 hours.
Stay at home parents do not get any breaks, lunch breaks, vacation, sick days…nothing nada.
They deal with the whining, constant nagging the fighting the bickering, the cooking the cleaning the errands, tantrums, laundry, cleaning/ picking up all day
Etc…they don’t get to use the bathroom, shower do anything for themselves or by themselves any more.
The list keeps going but I won’t say no more. I help my husband with EVERY chore all day right up until I go to work, right after work and on my days off from work.
I stayed at home with my youngest the first 3 months. I didn’t want to go back to work, it’s hard but extremely rewarding. That being said there is no days or time off it’s constant and some days will be better then others.
It’s a never ending job! It’s a 24/7 job and it can be isolating. You need to not only take care of kids but you got to cook, clean and do laundry.
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It’s hard…but more harder when you have to act both…a mother and a father…have to work on weekdays…full time mom on day-offs…but it’s worth the sacrifices…
Proud single mother here:-)
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I’ve been on both sides for 12 years: working/ college student and stay at home mom. As a stay at home mom, I don’t have friends or much adult interaction / conversation. Anywhere I go, there’s a kid wanting or needing something even when I’m sick. No one takes care of me, and since I’m “always at home and there’s not much to do”, I don’t get much if any help nor time to myself. I am currently breastfeeding my 4th child, and she doesn’t go down for the night until about 3am if I’m lucky. Then I’m up at 730 with the older kids getting them ready for school. And with a family of 6 (plus no dishwasher) I ALWAYS have something to clean!
There’s a ton more to my personal situation, but yes it’s hard, and isolating at times. Being a working mom is difficult too because I missed my kids so much and would miss out on many things because of my schedule. However, I had better time management when I worked.
That being said, there’s nothing more I’d rather do than be home with my children and know they’re being loved and cared for.
I don’t think I’m considered a stay at home mom cuz I work from home but my main issue is being lonely and not seeing any other human other than my husband
It’s very hard after having a c-section. I stayed at home for 6 weeks and waking up every 2 to 3 hours and struggling to get outta bed while my childs father was at work was the worst part. After i went back to work i missed being at home with my baby so it has its pros and cons
I’m a stay at home mom of a two year old, expecting in December and am a full time college student. Being a stay at home mom is really hard. The sleep deprivation never goes away and having to run errands, pay bills, laundry, dishes, cooking, all the house cleaning, and yard work is too much for one person. We also have two 7 month big dogs and two cats. I think the only benefit is knowing that my son is safe and Im not missing out on these years I could never get back if I was also working. Babysitters and daycares are too expensive in the first place. I just wish I had a day off, but staying at home is a 24 hour job , 7 days a week , 365 days a year lol
Just loneliness for me , but now I have the baby so it might be different! Glad my baby isn’t much trouble at all
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For me it’s extremely hard but very rewarding i have one special needs child an two 3 and under so it’s constant between the melt downs from my special needs child an the constant care he requires even though he is 9 he is home schooled still in diapers little communication the Littles and him full of energy and there is never a moment to relax your up from the time their up tending to them food drinks potty diapers ect ontop of cleaning the house never stopping and for us we have 4 dogs so that includes taking care of them aswell. Unless you have a partner who understands when they get home you need a break or at least help so you can shower take a breather and not be so stressed out it’s hard. The biggest thing I can say is having kids really shows how many real friends you have. You never have time with them either unless it’s play dates. Life is different but very rewarding
these questions always seem to backfire on the moms that actually answer… because here come the moms that work, or the “perfect” moms, who try to tell you how your own personal experience isn’t hard, or how they have SOOO much more. then it becomes a bunch of moms shaming other moms or turning it into a pissing contest… seriously, we’re all mom’s doing a hard ass job, grow up.
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What’s with all these crazy topics lately that no one cares about.
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I never found being a stay-at-home mom hard. It was actually quite easy. I got done what I could throughout the day while caring for my kids. What I didn’t get done waited until the next day or my husband came home and helped.
It keeps you from independence of making your own money,and providing for your children.if you are lucky to have a great day care the kids can learn alot with other children.i could never be a stay at home raised all three on my own
Being home is hard, because usually you’re home is where you go at the end of a long day to unwind and relax. However being a stay-at-home mom means you’re home is both your job and your downtime. You’re constantly around your child which is emotionally exhausting.
, Even if you sneak off to go poop I find I have to hold my son in my lap even at 14 months old or else he either gets into everything dangerous or he cries uncontrollably. It’s a total lack of privacy from not being able to enjoy your food alone, not shower alone, not go to the bathroom alone, etc. It’s snowing that if you take the time to clean you are not giving them the social time that they need and if you give them the social time they need then the house chores will fall behind and you’ll live in a dirty home. Most stay-at-home moms are also responsible for cooking and cleaning up after book themselves and the child all day. I have one baby and I run at least a load or two of dishes a day. The amount of laundry a child goes through is insane, and folding small pieces of clothes can easily take an hour out of your day. I think one of the hardest parts is whenever the baby goes down for a nap during the day and you have to decide to sleep and give yourself the rest you need from waking at night and having your sleep Disturbed, or you have to decide to fight through how tired you are and try to put some more for later. I haven’t had a day off in over a year and frequently break down over it. I’ve lost every single friend, because I don’t have time to sit on my cell phone and text and call all day and also they don’t live near me and I don’t have a car. Motherhood is the most lonely and depressing thing I’ve ever experienced but I love my son and would never ever trade him no matter what. I remember being so sick I couldn’t eat and had to crawl around the house and I had no child care that was one of my hardest weeks
Because you can’t “ clock out” . Day in day out… After a while it does get to you . Why it’s very important to get that alone time . Basically to recharge ur batteries
Does this really need explaining? I’ve been a single mom, a military member mom and single, a full time mom and married, I’ve been a married stay at home mom. A married stay at home and doing college mom… 5 KIDS total ranging in 4 to 17 now… NONE I WILL REPEAT NONE is easier than the other!!! THEIR ALL HARD. THEIR ALL STRESSFUL. THEIR ALL GUILTY FEELINGS!!! Why can’t they ask questions that provide fulfillment and encouragement and hey you aren’t alone, here’s some wisdom when shit hits the fan and you feel inadequate.
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My bloodline NEVER had the option
I’d like to know more about what inspired the question.
I can’t tell if someone is genuinely interested in the WHAT and HOW of being a SAHM is difficult, if someone thinks it “what’s so hard about this,” or if someone is trying to start a debate.
The fact is that everyone is different. Every kid is different. Everyone’s levels of resources and support are different.
Why would being a SAHM with a young BF baby (who wakes twice overnight) be difficult??? It may not be for that person. OR she has PPD, insomnia, an identity crisis, not enough adult interaction, anxiety about HOW to mom, inability to clock out for a break, inability to take a day or night off.
A lot of folks who have been around kids but have never been THE PRIMARY CAREGIVER of a child simply will not understand that the difficulty for a lot of women wouldn’t exist if not for the isolation, and, frankly, the monotony. It wears on a person over time.
It doesn’t mean we didn’t choose it. It doesn’t mean that we trade it for the world. But, yeah, it’s particular challenge for me is the inability to ever be exhausted and bored and look at the time and know that I will have an hour break for lunch TO RELAX AND DO WHATEVER I WANT. After days of not sleeping you finally get in the zone to get that one night of semi decent sleep that you will use for the entire week’s energy and there’s a cry. And it’s vomit. It’s everywhere. It’s all over the baby, the dog, the bed, the floors, the wall, the nightstand, it’s even in the power strip next to your bed. When you take the pjs off baby you see that it’s also diarrhea.
So, here you are now barely functioning anymore anyway. You have a sick baby. Page on call pediatrician. Bath. Worry. Clean dog. clean self. strip bed. Start laundry. Dog is eating the puke. Clean the rug… Etc, etc, etc. It’s just hard to never ever be able to be off.
Doesn’t mean I would do it differently. But, yeah, I’m going to effing bitch about days and nights like that… And I’m going to swoon, and smile, and beem with pride, and brag, and post pictures to social on the other days.
But, babysitting for a few hours or weeks, or even being a teacher or nanny isn’t the same as day in. Day out. Every day. All day. ON DUTY.
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No adult interaction
No break
Constantly doing
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It’s all hard. Whether you are staying at home or working. As a working mom you get out of the house, in contact with life outside of your family but your days are long and you spend most of it missing your family desperately, worried about your children, feeling resentful and grateful to their caretakers. You feel like you’re missing out on your children and missing experiences. Stay at home moms deal with boredom even though they do the jobs of a dozen people. They have a hard time getting contact from the outside world. It’s tiring both ways. Being a mom is hard period. But Oh! So worth it!
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It’s hard job but it’s rewarding.
You won’t ever look back and regret those times you spent nurturing your babies.
It does get easier as they get older and more independent.
You won’t always be waking every two hours for feeding.
Make sure you do rest when baby is sleeping.
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Because you never get to leave.
I tried to be a stay at home mom. By no means was it easy. 24hrs of cry whining destroying… Clean up breakfast, make lunch clean the kitchen cook dinner…lt was very hard not being around people my age. It’s depressing! You feel you have nothing to call your own. Stay at home mom is overrated l have no idea how my mother did it!
On the flip side when they became school age l missed out on so much.School.plays that took place during school hours. Honest to God lm not sure how l made it as a single parent, l felt like l could never get organized… I was blessed with great adult kids teen years where treacherous…
Because kids are work. Hard work for the next 18 years. You are luck if you are a stay at home . Some women (men too) work 2 jobs and get no breaks
I’ve been both and I will say honestly they both have their struggles but being a SAHM is harder. Reasons being:
- you’re not getting regular breaks from your kids and they burn you out and you get touched out with them
- you’re not getting regular adult socialization and you start to get and feel isolated, lonely, etc. and that can lead to depression
- you’re expected to do it without breaks or time off (or few and far between) despite the fact that a SAHM has been proven to work the equivalent of 2 and half full time jobs without days off. Not only is that unfair, it’s not healthy. You have to be able to take care of YOU too and that means time to be YOU and not just wife and mom 24/7.
There’s more but I think those are some big ones.
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Everything about it is hard! It is a job that is 24/7/365 and it includes many other side jobs besides just mothering your child. I value the time with my children so it is worth it in every way but there is nothing easy about it.
some of yall should have never had kids.
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It is hard to be a single mother but when you’re children grow up to be how you want them to it will be rewarding
Two times a night was a blessing! I had to set my alarm to feed the first one, and could have set a clock by my second. Every two hours on the dot. My husband worked swing shift, so it was my job to keep the kids quiet in the house, and plan lots of outings. All good, but cold number 2 throws up in the heat. I couldn’t wait to go back to work.
If you have to ask you aren’t doing your job.
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Raising kids is hard period. Doesn’t matter if you’re a SAHM or work outside the home. 
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U never get a moment alone, or a break to breathe most times but it’s beyond worth it
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This sounds like someone who wants people to answer “it’s easy!”
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Mom of 6 kids with no help from a spouse or anyone but me hell yes it’s hard
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Working mom or a SAHM. It’s all hard. Even when ur a working mom you have to come home and be mom so your second job kicks in till you go to job #1. It’s 24/7 no matter what
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I think some people need to understand that not everyone is able to understand a situation that one is experiencing. All they need is support, encouragement, and some tips from those who have already figured out their own situation that they are in. Just because there are lots of stay at home parents does not mean everyone feels and experiences the same thing. Just like mental illness, its different and difficult for everyone thats why there are different professionals and different medicines to help them through it. Please be kinder when someone is asking for help. Don’t invalidate their feelings.
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It’s not hard. Being a full time working Mom is hard
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I want to cry every night bcuz my son is 9 months and still wake up every 3 hours for a bottle. I’ve tried everything and he still doesn’t sleep all night.
Honestly I love being a SAHM. I havent worked in almost a year and my daughter is 6m old EBF. I cherish every moment as I know it will go quickly and too many moms have to miss so much time wit M their baby having to work. Its truly a blessing to be home with her. I havent been away from her more than an hr since she’s been born and never feel like I need “me” time. I get adult interaction with my hubby or call family.
She’s kidding right? She answered her own question
I think being a stay at home mom is hard because you are responsible for this child’s world…day in and out…you are still figuring life out for yourself …now you have to figure it out for them too…life is not easy period …so try not to look at the responsibilities of motherhood as hard work…but more as a gift/present …a reason to live life…embrace it…enjoy it and love it the best way you know how…you have been chosen to be this child’s mom …children are a special gift that not all women get the pleasure of having…not all women have the pleasure of being a stay at home mom on top of that…so do your best and love with all you got…good luck 2U and your family…
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Kids and babies are on basically the same routine or schedule whatever u wanna call it , it can get pretty monotonous. That’s the hardest part for me and the kids
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This is also a priceless gift for bestowing fathers as well. I got to be conditioned through this and I tend to love myself a shit ton better after getting this opportunity 3 times. I’m thankful and blessed…shit after all this I can raise adults in public who still act like misbehaving children…they are everywhere.
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It’s a choice so why is this even a question 
I’ve done both & I love being a SAHM, my husband & I FIND time for me to have “me time” EVERYDAY. True the kids are work but honestly I wouldn’t trade it for the world. My oldest is 15yrs old, 2nd is 13, 3rd is 6 & youngest is 7mos. I started being a SAHM 3yrs ago & also working from home…I missed so much. I love seeing them grow & mature into young men & women. Especially with COVID last year I was able to begin homeschooling them & honestly I think it’s the BEST decision I’ve made tbt
Is the only job which never ever gets a break.
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I’ve been a single mom and now a stay at home, it really isn’t hard at all. Does it get frustrating at times? Ya that’s life… single parenting was very rewarding, SAHM is awesome I can’t complain…
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Because it’s something you’ve never done before and you are responsible for the life of someone else and you barely get time to yourself also something you’ve never had experienced before. It’s very hard and kids don’t come with an instruction manual like most everything else. Throw little to no sleep in there and yes it’s extremely hard to function and get a shower and have no one help you. But you manage and you learn and it gets easier as they grow and you figure it out. But the most important thing I learned is you have to put them on a schedule if you want any life and for no reason do you let them sleep with you if you want to sleep well. And cars make them take naps even if they don’t want one when they are toddlers it’s awsum. Sleep when they sleep if you can.
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I love being a stay at home mom and seeing my baby grow up. I saw his 1st step heard his 1st words ect… my husband working missed them and watched them on videos I recorded or saw when he got home. 13 yrs to get my son. I’ve been loving every single min of it. Breastfeeding was stressful as I had so much lack of sleep. But I survived and hes 6 now. I look back and im greatful for our bonding. And hes still my sweet lil mamas boy who gives me cuddles when no friends are around ofcorse. Lol. When I would get stressed I’d find a positive to look at and my heart would melt and make me greatful to be a stay at home mom not everyday was easy but everyday has been worth it.