Why is my husband paranoid about me cheating?

My husband and I recently started working out our relationship again he has trust issues and always thinks something is going on , he accused me of being unfaithful where he checks everything, my phone, clothes, maps, well he was supposed going home to sleep and somehow wgen me and the kids where swimming he snuck back in and was hiding under the bed to see if I was doing anything or talking to anyone . When he came out he scared me but is this healthy plz help I am trying to understand.
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It’s not healthy for him. You should tell him he is only harming himself. You would have to reassure him that you only have eyes for him and he is the most attractive man on earth for you. If you care about your relationship and you want to work it out. Just be kind.

Thats abuse. Somewhere deep inside you know that. Hes trying to control you and no, hiding under the bed is like stalking. Please take a close look at your relationship for signs of abuse. Controlling what you wear, who you see, who you talk to. Accusing you of things you’re not doing.

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Why is my husband paranoid about me cheating?

Sounds like he is cheating

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Normally when this happens the other person is cheating… They’re trying to catch you out to make themselves feel less guilty

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Uhh. He’s psychotic and I think that you need a new one.

Because honestly it isn’t going to get better from there.

Soon he will be stalking you everywhere you go & lose his shit.

Not healthy at all. And most of the time when they are accusing you, they are guilty of it themselves. Sounds like he needs to work on himself before trying to work out a relationship with you.

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I found out when they start being paranoid and accuse you of cheating they are cheating. I had a boyfriend do it to me and I had a friend who it happened to and I kept telling her he is cheating and he was accusing her of drug use which she didn’t do and she didn’t believe me when I told her by the way he is acting and accusing you he is cheating and doing drugs. Low and behold months later she found out he was doing both

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Sounds like he is on drugs and has a guilty conscience

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He’s cheating and putting the guilt and blame on you

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Sounds like a guilty conscience!! Is he the one cheating???

The accuser is most likely cheating

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My past experience has been the guilty dog barks the loudest. Anytime anyone has ever got extremely paranoid or started accusing it was because they were the ones doing it unfortunately.

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The guilty dog barks first

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He could of been cheated on in the past and is terribly damaged. That doesn’t only happen to women.

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Nope!!! Let his ass go! He is perhaps the one cheating.

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Füçking run. That not normal that’s just werid as hell

Omg, NO IT IS NOT HEALTHY

I dealt with this in my last marriage not this severe and come to find out he was the one cheating…

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Most likely he’s the one cheating… a cheater usually blames the other for cheating…

My ex husband used to do similar things. I know for a fact he was not cheating. He was just unhealthily jealous and untrusting. Sadly, I was very young, so when we moved half way across the world and I had no family near me (except for our twin sons) the behavior just got worse. No friends, no license, no job. He wouldnt introduce me to any of his male friends, wouldn’t let them see me. It went on like that for years. You need to get out now. It just gets worse.

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That is a reflection of his own behavior. He thinks you’ll do do it because he would…

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This is not healthy in the slightest

No it is not normal and they say that it is usually the ones that are doing it are the accusers

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No!It’s not healthy!

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He is worried you are doing what he is doing

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Because he is the one cheating… Kinda guilty feeling… Been there, done that

Most that accuse are the ones that are guilty.

No get out NOW, before it gets any worse

This is not healthy and I suggest you leave before it escalates.

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Not even close to healthy

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Either your husband is cheating and has a guilty conscience, or he is mentally ill. Either way you two should seek marriage counseling and get down to the root of the issue.

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Paranoid :handshake:he may or may not have been sneaking around in the past maybe even the present but now he knows all the ways to cheat so he’s making sure you don’t :sneezing_face:

The cheater always thinks the spouse is cheating

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You already know this time healthy.

He is paranoid. You deserve better.

It can go two ways he either had a very bad past and exsperiences or he is cheating but going as faras hiding under the bed i would assume he had a bad past or maybe a mental issue that needs to be discussed

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Hes probably cheating himself and projecting it onto you

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Lol Is his name Dustin? Run away, sister.

That’s not healthy and he’s probably cheats/cheated on you. He’s expecting you to do things that he has done/do.

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that is a scary behavior. be careful. beware. be aware.

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Sounds like he may be guilty of something!

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He is crazy and probably he is probably the one cheating

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Run, I’ve been here , it leads to nowhere good, take the kids and RUN as fast as you can… get a restraining order if you need to, keep him away …

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Hiding under the bed?? He’s a psycho.

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Mental illness. My ex has it. No matter what you do things won’t change. No matter how open you are his brain will make up something you did and accuse you. Only you know if you are strong enough to do it. I am really sorry. I bet besides that he is a pretty good guy :disappointed:

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No it isn’t healthy at all… it will only get worse

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Sounds guilty himself and it trying to ease his guilt with hopefully catching you. Totally not healthy!

Nowhere near healthy.

My ex-husband accused me of cheating from the very beginning. What I learned after the fact is that this is a control technique that plays into a narcissist’s ego.
When he accuses you what do you do? You give him a million reasons why you’d never cheat (ego inflation). You give him full access to your life where he can then nitpick through your relationships. If you said anything remotely negative about him or discuss frustration about your relationship to another person, he’ll say you’re disloyal and that’s reason for his accusations, now and in the future. This is the long game for control. Wear you down so you don’t confide in others. Wear you down so you don’t engage with ANYONE because it may give him reason to accuse you. Eventually you will isolate yourself to protect your marriage.

Either that, or he’s cheating. Either way it’s toxic AF

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That’s how my bf was… we’ve been together 13 years… for one year he was like that but now he’s not… we jus had another baby… we have 3 now… jus bcuz “some old man” won’t leave me alone :woman_facepalming:t4:

Nah this is super unhealthy and he needs to get help and you need to live your life and keep your kids happy

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Guilty conscience… get out!

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He seriously needs help asap. Don’t put his treatment off any longer it’s dangerous to live with him like this.

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That’s more than trust issues. That’s a psychopath.

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No its not healthy,get RID of him FAST. But lve got a feeling he’s one of those you can’t ever totally get rid of.He would be a real stalker.

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He sounds really toxic, I’m sorry, I went with though this with my sons father, it’s probably best to leave. It will be hard for a few months but you’ll be so much happier and a happier you is better for your kids and that is all that should matter

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This is extremely unhealthy. He needs to seek therapy for himself. You probably need marriage counseling as well.

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Look into therapy. If therapy doesn’t help then consider divorce!

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Because most of the times, they are the ones doing the cheating.

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Don’t put up with that! Tell him to get his shit together or to leave!

Ummmm hiding under the bed?? Helllll tf nah

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he sounds like his cheese is sliding off his cracker… hiding under the bed? Girl you got some red flags there—you better run! It’s not normal, none of it. And he may be cheating or working with a guilty mind, but IMO he sounds like the type of whack job that offs the whole family……hiding under the bed. Good lord woman

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I would run. Usually when someone accuses you like that and go out their way to do stuff like that it shows maybe their not faithful.

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Guilty conscious means they’re the guilty one

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Working out your relationship? Husband was meant to be going home for a sleep? Does this mean he does not live with you? If so change your locks and tell him to seek counselling for his own behaviours before you can work on anything between the two of you.

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No trust = No marriage :sleepy:

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Ok he needs help!! Nobody wants to live like that maybe he is the one hiding of cheating and has a guilty Conscience !? Start accusing him see if he likes it

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Some serious projecting and a little psycho. A friend of mine had an ex who did that and all he did was cheat on her.

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You need to leave before you die. I am not joking.

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He is probably cheating and trying to deflect, but regardless hiding under the bed and such is crazy behavior - so, do yourself and kids a favor and get away as quickly as you can and don’t look back.

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Ones who are insecure are the ones who cheat, bank on it

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Because he is cheating… it’s a classic tell.

Also… leave as quickly as possible. He’s not stable and that’s how things turn badly/deadly quickly.

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Wow!! That’s some crazy, unhealthy situation! That is not normal so he either get help, or run!!! :woman_facepalming:t2: I always heard when they accuse it’s because they’re the ones cheating!!:woman_shrugging:t2:

So many people saying to run but it’s dude were to say this same postyall would probably say he gave hers reason to act that way. Damn double standards again lol
(Not saying it’s not a problem by the way, just find the difference in responses funny)

He is probably cheating.

Have you cheated before? Just trying to understand if he is desperate and going crazy or if he is a straight up jealous butt that needs severe help.

This is how the abuse starts. Isolating, spying, tracking. It’s not safe. Get out now before it becomes even more dangerous

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My ex was like this a narsasistic asshole made me feel like i was going crazy constantly accusing me of cheating checking everything i hated even having a phone it got so bad if any man even liked my posts i got an ear full seriously this is not healthy at all id tell him to seek professional help or leave it’s not worth loosing your sanity over!

I’ve always said the guilty project their guilt onto their loved one when they themselves are doing wrong

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He’s either projecting because he’s cheated, or he has some serious deep issues he needs to have looked at, like in his head. That is not healthy for either of you to live like that, and especially not the kids.

A lot of the time when they accuse is because is them that are doing the cheating

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Guilty, that’s why he’s blaming you, will he let you look at his phone? Probably not

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Run. Don’t walk. Just leave now!

Sounds like he’s the one cheating

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:face_with_raised_eyebrow: do you really have to ask? NO, it’s not.

I’d find out what he’s doing. Because you can just about bet he’s doing exactly what he’s accusing you of doing. But one of those square things that will tell you where it is. Hide it under the back seats. Then see where you find him.

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I have 2 phones (one for work) one for all other stuff, naturally I get a lot of texts/ notifications, my husband always says I’m guilty and hiding stuff, he sits on his phone all day, makes me wonder

He cheating 🤷 and he guilty so he tryna accuse you so he dont feel bad smh

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He’s gaslighting you and accusing you of what he himself is guilty of. This behavior is dangerous, abusive and it ALWAYS escalates. You need to make an exit plan. You’re in danger whether you are aware of it or not. Please get in touch with a Domestic Violence Agency and get your exit plan in place. They can help you do this as safely as possible.

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He is seriously in need of evaluation and treatment for Mental Illness!

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The bed thing is fking weird. Send him to therapy

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He is cheating. Cheaters typically accuse their partners of doing exactly what they’re doing.

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Maybe he is just insecure but either way this is not healthy relationship. If you are faithful and never gave him reason to not trust you , you don’t deserve to be treated like that ! I personally would find this very offensive and disrespectful.
If you stay in this relationship he will slowly isolate you from everybody

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Sounds like you were or are cheating. Just tell him the truth!

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He’s cheating and kick him out.

Sounds like my ex , he is cheating sorry get out while you can !

He’s very insecure, communication is key! Talk to him but also tell him it has to stop or else your out!

Sorry but he’s cheating and wants to make you seem your the one who’s doing something wrong. Many reasons why

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