It will only get worse for you. Please leave as soon as you can. Preferably without him knowing your plan. I know first hand you are only getting closer to physical violence
heās cheatingā¦ or u did and made him insecure
No itās not. He is very insecure
This is a man that will isolate you from everyone you love eventually because of his own issues. Run before he has you locked inside your own home. Iāve seen this happen to two dear friends.
My ex was like this. I left him. Best decision I ever made. Save yourself and leave. For your own sanity.
Is this healthy?! Do you really have to ask that?! Heās nuts.
No, that is NOT normal. Run like your pants are on fire.
Sounds like heās the guilty one
Oh dear, Iād run away very fast. This can lead to physical abuse Down the road & push you away from your loved ones cuz heās insecure
Please ask him to get some therapyāindividual and as a couple. He needs to deal with his past if that is why heās paranoid or heās cheating and accusing you to deflect blame. Either way, his behavior is not healthy for any of you, but especially you and the kids.
Trust is a choice. We all have reasons not to believe. If you have never given him a reason to doubt, take this by the horns. He either chooses to believe in you and your relationship, or he doesnāt. If he doesnāt, leave, because there is NOTHING you can do to convince him. We all have pasts. Decide your future
Heās cheating or has cheated! You need to get out!
My ex was like that it was horrible and he was hiding things turned out. and it only got worse.
Toxic and controlling. Get out now!
How old is this child?
Heās guilty of doing it
Not healthy and NOT normal. Leave while u still can
No this is not healthy! Healthy relationships have trust and security. These seem to be lacking here. Yāall need therapy or to split.
Sounds like heās cheating sis
Cause heās cheating.
Not normal, heās mentally ill
It sounds to me like he needs counseling. This could stem from a childhood trauma of experiencing abandonment or rejection.
Usually the one accusing is the one abusing
Those who cheat become obsessive thinking youāre doing it too. They think if theyāre getting away with it whatās to say you arenāt as well. Iād be seeking some therapy together because no honey, this isnāt healthy.
In my experience when I was accused he was cheating
A guily mind is always full of suspicion.
Sounds like he has a guilty conscious
He knows how easy it is to cheat because heās the one doing it. So now heās paranoid that youāre doing it too. Accusations are admissions.
Stalker, weirdo. What would he have done had a neighbor come over looking for his dog or just to say hello? This is where having a sister or brother to help set him up, to show him how stupid he is being. Does he sneak and dig through your things or is it blatantly right in front of you? Both are stupid but if he does it right in front of you he is controlling you with a so called power move. What would he do if your phone broke and you asked to see his quick? Heck. We hand each other our phones because we want it with but are sick of carrying it. Whichever one is close we use. Not healthy for you to have to go through this. And think about how you are allowing your children to see how mom is treated.
Iām sorry to say this but it sounds to me like HEāS the one being unfaithful. He knows what heās doing behind your back and his guilt is forcing him to believe that you are doing it as well. A wise, wise woman once told me this and itās stuck with me for over 25 yearsā¦itās quite short and simple actually.
āThe guilty always accuse.ā PERIOD. I would bail out now before heās allowed to continue this behavior of making you feel some type of way when when in fact it should be HIM whoās feeling all that guilt. Guilt that heās trying to force onto you! Girl, put on your walkin shoes and go find you a good man that can love you the way you deserve to be loved, love you for who you are and can remain faithful! Best of luck to you!!
From experience heās being unfaithful heās doing it so he feels you are as wellā¦ā¦ itās a huge red flag
My ex husband always accused me of cheating, come to find out he was cheating!
Sisā¦ if a grown man is hiding under the bed, heās got problems. Let that boy goooooo.
It might be drugs meth will make you so paranoid and do weird shit like that
I always believe that if someone is questioning your loyalty to them, they are the one being unfaithful. They feel guilty, and are reflecting their guilt on you.
Looks like he is insecure. He needs psychological help i guess
Be careful it could lead to obsession. Itās unhealthy and draining. I suggest you seek counseling asap. Also because he is paranoid try to make it as delicate as possible as you canāt trust him as he is capable of anything right now.
The dirtier a cows tail, the more they switch it. Iām sorry.
No way on earth is this a healthy relationship. Healthy relationships do not consist of always feeling like youāre walking on eggshells. Being scared, terrified being accused of cheating. Not healthy at all. Kids donāt need to see that either. Nitpicking like that leads to obsession then possession. Iāve been thru it, never again got rid of him. Our kids didnāt need to see that narcissistic manipulative behavior.
This is definitely not healthy at all ,
Come on hiding under the bed , thatās going to far !!!
He needs to address he has a serious problem ,
I agree with what most people are telling you ā¦. He has more than likely cheated ā¦.
He is or has cheated , red flags
Itās not healthy. He might be cheating himself, or, it could go deeper. He could be facing major self esteem issues. If itās his self esteem, he needs psychological help, and you by his side, encouraging him. But if heās the one cheating, you need an STD test, and to get out.
Not healthy. Toxic. Run away! Controlling.
Holy shit lady, this husband is crazy. You need to get out. He has probably cheated in the past and it is making him paranoid. Does he use any drugs? You are not a game and do not need a controller. Good luck
It is NOT healthy by any means. Typically itās gaslighting. He may be paranoid of YOU doing it because HE is/has.
He is the one cheating
Wellā¦. Have you cheated before?? Sounds like thereās mistrust for a reason and thatās very hard to get back. If you did something to break that trust then you need to earn it back or end it.
What the sam hell!! This guy has problems girl. Heās beyond is she cheating. RUN AND RUN FASTā¦ This guy sounds like the ones that will kill you and blame you for it
Past trauma. Possibly even childhood trauma related. I know thatās where most of my trust issues stemmed from anyway. He needs to understand his behaviour isnāt healthy, for him, you, your marriage and children and put the shadow work in to change it otherwise itāll be damaging and everyone will be miserable.
Attack is the best form of defence. Heās accusing you because A.) He is cheating B.) He is gaslighting you. Either way, the lack of trust is incredibly unhealthy
Toxic af!!! Run and donāt look back!!!
Run.
Seriously.
If he wonāt get real help, run.
When my husband started randomly doing that, it was because he has started cheated āguilty conscienceā I just didnāt know that until 8 months later. Not saying thatās whatās going on with yours but keep your eyes open
He must be cheating on you. They say the ones that accuse is the one thatās cheating UNLESS he is controlling!
Nope! Just all the nope. Run and run so far. I was here and that doesnāt ever change.
Heās the one cheating
Heās gaslighting you
This level of obsession worries meā¦please leave
Not good. He is the one cheating and/ or he needs therapy and hope it works out.
If he has no reason from the past to think you are cheating, then there are several things that could be going on. The obvious choice being heās cheating. The not so obvious, and more rare reason is some kind of mental health issues, or even physical health issues. And head trauma lately could have caused something in his brain to be shifted or changed. Could have caused a paranoid disorder??
He is or was cheating why else would he be thinking like that
I mean, having insecurities and doing the wrong thing by checking phones etc is one thing but hiding under the goddam bed to spy on you is just something else all together. So unhealthy and toxic.
No it is not healthy. If youāve never given him reason to doubt you, itās obsessive at best.
He thinks that highly of you! He KNOWS u have āoptionsā
Sounds like OCD.
āCheckingā is a form of OCD where you obsess over checking in something until you feel like itās āright.ā
I can get like this with unmanaged OCD. He should see a therapist.
No, and he has probably also bugged the house and put trackers on your car. Be careful as he may escalate to hurting you and/or the kids if he thinks you might leave him. Plan carefully and get help from professionals
This is far from healthy. Have you given him reasons to think this or has he cheated?
We can all see the red flags waving with the flashing neon lights pointed at them! This isnāt good and Iād say get out.
I wouldnāt put up with it. Its verbal abuse imo.Usually the oneās that do that mind game,have some kind of guilty conscience. Just tell him youāre not putting up with that game. Stop or youāre out
He could be suffering from a mental illness, or could b drugs?
Ouuu shady shady I mean you were swimming with your children this your husband not cool on both side he should not feel this way & you shouldnāt put him in a position to act this way. Unless he is just crazy & obsessive this is not okay in my opinion
If heās cheating then heās going to accuse you of cheating
Now you know this aint normal
He has cheated or is thats is his guilt coming out
He is a green eyed monster
Heās cheating babe
Get out now ,not a healthy relationship
This is not a relationship that is going to work, it sounds to me like you were unfaithful and he will never get over it.
Heās probably insure and has been cheated on before, is or has cheated himself, or someone or something lead him to believe you are or have been cheating.
no maāam. itās not healthy, itās downright scary. Run.
Accuser is usually the abuser
He probably cheating tbh
My ex accused me of cheating when he was
You really had to ask if this is normal? Girl you know the answer. Heās probably the one cheating, thatās usually how it works.
Not healthy at allā¦ to be honest itās scary. he needs proffessional help
Guilty conscience maybe
Run love run, not healthy hes projecting his guilt or his severe insecurities on to you and acting phyco to find a way to play victim. He doesnt sound like hes ready for a relationship. But there is the benefit of the doubt hes very insecure and self conscious and thinks your put of his league and youll leave him when āyou find betterā or what he veiws as you thinking is better and this is his way of being over gaurded and self sabotaging before theres a slightest sniff of trouble or getting hurt which isnt good either ā¦
Yikes on bikes. My ex was like that. Accused me constantly of cheating on him in a dumpster at work. No joke. Went to the store one time to get a pack of smokes, I was 50 cents short and the cashier covered that for me. Guess what? I had to have messed around with the dude cuz who gives up THAT much money to a random girl for no reason at all right?
Point of the comment, your man is ridiculous. Run, because they only get worse. He did for sure.
This sounds scary. You need to make sure that you and your children are safe.
I would say either incredibly insecure or guilty conscienceā¦ and either way sounds mentally unstable because thatās nuts
Get out now. Take your kids n go or throw him out. This isn t normal or healthy n guess what? Your kids can pick up on that. He s either majorly insecure or cheating himself. But it s not healthy. Checking your clothes etc is bordering on control. He ll only get worse. Take it from one who knows
Had the same problemā¦I left
Change your locks, and phone passwords . Iād day step away from this relationship. Not normal to hide under the bed. That seems like a mental break down on his part. Be safe
Why the hell is that even a question thatās not healthy in the slightest he needs counselling or heās cheating or both.
Not healthy at all. Some people blame you for things they would do to you. Either that or he is not well in the head. Be careful and make sure to turn notification off for this post as he may see.
Yeah thatās definitely insecurities it sounds like. Everyone has them BUT to take them out on another isnāt okay and you need to call him out for it and tell them he canāt keep that shit up or you will leave. Itāll only get worse the more you allow him to take his insecurities out on you. Mentally he isnāt right for all that, he needs to seek help for that or youāll never have a healthy relationship.
Try and sit down and talk he might has noticed something has changed thatās what happened with me it was a small detail of my relationship that I asked if he was cheating see why he asking you that
He has trauma he needs to sort out
My ex did the same. I was faithful. He was the actual cheater and he felt guilty and always blamed me heavily and he was domestic violence towards me with his actions. I ended up getting a divorce. He was too toxic. Come to find out later he had a child with another woman. So I made the right choice , just wish that I could of had a way out sooner.
Guilty complex himself and not healthy behaviour at all
He sounds like he has a guilty conscience! Heās probably cheating!
Odds sound like HE is guilty and projecting that on to you. The problem here is way worse than that tho. He isnāt stable, thatās unsafe along with unhealthy