Why is my husband paranoid about me cheating?

It will only get worse for you. Please leave as soon as you can. Preferably without him knowing your plan. I know first hand you are only getting closer to physical violence :grimacing::heart:

3 Likes

heā€™s cheatingā€¦ or u did and made him insecure

2 Likes

No itā€™s not. He is very insecure

2 Likes

This is a man that will isolate you from everyone you love eventually because of his own issues. Run before he has you locked inside your own home. Iā€™ve seen this happen to two dear friends.

9 Likes

My ex was like this. I left him. Best decision I ever made. Save yourself and leave. For your own sanity.

2 Likes

Is this healthy?! Do you really have to ask that?! Heā€™s nuts.

2 Likes

No, that is NOT normal. Run like your pants are on fire.

1 Like

Sounds like heā€™s the guilty one

1 Like

Oh dear, Iā€™d run away very fast. This can lead to physical abuse Down the road & push you away from your loved ones cuz heā€™s insecure

1 Like

Please ask him to get some therapyā€”individual and as a couple. He needs to deal with his past if that is why heā€™s paranoid or heā€™s cheating and accusing you to deflect blame. Either way, his behavior is not healthy for any of you, but especially you and the kids.

1 Like

Trust is a choice. We all have reasons not to believe. If you have never given him a reason to doubt, take this by the horns. He either chooses to believe in you and your relationship, or he doesnā€™t. If he doesnā€™t, leave, because there is NOTHING you can do to convince him. We all have pasts. Decide your future

5 Likes

Heā€™s cheating or has cheated! You need to get out!

1 Like

My ex was like that it was horrible and he was hiding things turned out. :woman_facepalming:and it only got worse.

2 Likes

Toxic and controlling. Get out now!

1 Like

How old is this child?

1 Like

Heā€™s guilty of doing it

3 Likes

Not healthy and NOT normal. Leave while u still can

3 Likes

No this is not healthy! Healthy relationships have trust and security. These seem to be lacking here. Yā€™all need therapy or to split.

Sounds like heā€™s cheating sis

4 Likes

Cause heā€™s cheating.

2 Likes

Not normal, heā€™s mentally ill

2 Likes

It sounds to me like he needs counseling. This could stem from a childhood trauma of experiencing abandonment or rejection.

2 Likes

Usually the one accusing is the one abusing

2 Likes

Those who cheat become obsessive thinking youā€™re doing it too. They think if theyā€™re getting away with it whatā€™s to say you arenā€™t as well. Iā€™d be seeking some therapy together because no honey, this isnā€™t healthy.

5 Likes

In my experience when I was accused he was cheating

2 Likes

A guily mind is always full of suspicion.

Sounds like he has a guilty conscious

1 Like

He knows how easy it is to cheat because heā€™s the one doing it. So now heā€™s paranoid that youā€™re doing it too. Accusations are admissions.

Stalker, weirdo. What would he have done had a neighbor come over looking for his dog or just to say hello? This is where having a sister or brother to help set him up, to show him how stupid he is being. Does he sneak and dig through your things or is it blatantly right in front of you? Both are stupid but if he does it right in front of you he is controlling you with a so called power move. What would he do if your phone broke and you asked to see his quick? Heck. We hand each other our phones because we want it with but are sick of carrying it. Whichever one is close we use. Not healthy for you to have to go through this. And think about how you are allowing your children to see how mom is treated.

2 Likes

Iā€™m sorry to say this but it sounds to me like HEā€™S the one being unfaithful. He knows what heā€™s doing behind your back and his guilt is forcing him to believe that you are doing it as well. A wise, wise woman once told me this and itā€™s stuck with me for over 25 yearsā€¦itā€™s quite short and simple actually.
ā€œThe guilty always accuse.ā€ PERIOD. I would bail out now before heā€™s allowed to continue this behavior of making you feel some type of way when when in fact it should be HIM whoā€™s feeling all that guilt. Guilt that heā€™s trying to force onto you! Girl, put on your walkin shoes and go find you a good man that can love you the way you deserve to be loved, love you for who you are and can remain faithful! Best of luck to you!!

5 Likes

From experience heā€™s being unfaithful heā€™s doing it so he feels you are as wellā€¦ā€¦ itā€™s a huge red flag :triangular_flag_on_post:

2 Likes

My ex husband always accused me of cheating, come to find out he was cheating!

1 Like

Sisā€¦ if a grown man is hiding under the bed, heā€™s got problems. Let that boy goooooo. :face_exhaling::face_exhaling:

10 Likes

It might be drugs meth will make you so paranoid and do weird shit like that

I always believe that if someone is questioning your loyalty to them, they are the one being unfaithful. They feel guilty, and are reflecting their guilt on you.

3 Likes

Looks like he is insecure. He needs psychological help i guess

Be careful it could lead to obsession. Itā€™s unhealthy and draining. I suggest you seek counseling asap. Also because he is paranoid try to make it as delicate as possible as you canā€™t trust him as he is capable of anything right now.

The dirtier a cows tail, the more they switch it. Iā€™m sorry.

1 Like

No way on earth is this a healthy relationship. Healthy relationships do not consist of always feeling like youā€™re walking on eggshells. Being scared, terrified being accused of cheating. Not healthy at all. Kids donā€™t need to see that either. Nitpicking like that leads to obsession then possession. Iā€™ve been thru it, never again got rid of him. Our kids didnā€™t need to see that narcissistic manipulative behavior.

7 Likes

This is definitely not healthy at all ,
Come on hiding under the bed , thatā€™s going to far !!!
He needs to address he has a serious problem ,
I agree with what most people are telling you ā€¦. He has more than likely cheated ā€¦.

He is or has cheated , red flags

9 Likes

Itā€™s not healthy. He might be cheating himself, or, it could go deeper. He could be facing major self esteem issues. If itā€™s his self esteem, he needs psychological help, and you by his side, encouraging him. But if heā€™s the one cheating, you need an STD test, and to get out.

4 Likes

Not healthy. Toxic. Run away! Controlling.

1 Like

Holy shit lady, this husband is crazy. You need to get out. He has probably cheated in the past and it is making him paranoid. Does he use any drugs? You are not a game and do not need a controller. Good luck

1 Like

It is NOT healthy by any means. Typically itā€™s gaslighting. He may be paranoid of YOU doing it because HE is/has.

7 Likes

He is the one cheating

5 Likes

Wellā€¦. Have you cheated before?? Sounds like thereā€™s mistrust for a reason and thatā€™s very hard to get back. If you did something to break that trust then you need to earn it back or end it.

1 Like

What the sam hell!! This guy has problems girl. Heā€™s beyond is she cheating. RUN AND RUN FASTā€¦ This guy sounds like the ones that will kill you and blame you for it

4 Likes

Past trauma. Possibly even childhood trauma related. I know thatā€™s where most of my trust issues stemmed from anyway. He needs to understand his behaviour isnā€™t healthy, for him, you, your marriage and children and put the shadow work in to change it otherwise itā€™ll be damaging and everyone will be miserable.

4 Likes

Attack is the best form of defence. Heā€™s accusing you because A.) He is cheating B.) He is gaslighting you. Either way, the lack of trust is incredibly unhealthy

5 Likes

Toxic af!!! Run and donā€™t look back!!!

1 Like

Run.
Seriously.
If he wonā€™t get real help, run.

When my husband started randomly doing that, it was because he has started cheated ā€œguilty conscienceā€ I just didnā€™t know that until 8 months later. Not saying thatā€™s whatā€™s going on with yours but keep your eyes open

4 Likes

He must be cheating on you. They say the ones that accuse is the one thatā€™s cheating UNLESS he is controlling!

4 Likes

Nope! Just all the nope. Run and run so far. I was here and that doesnā€™t ever change.

2 Likes

Heā€™s the one cheating
Heā€™s gaslighting you
This level of obsession worries meā€¦please leave

2 Likes

Not good. He is the one cheating and/ or he needs therapy and hope it works out.

1 Like

If he has no reason from the past to think you are cheating, then there are several things that could be going on. The obvious choice being heā€™s cheating. The not so obvious, and more rare reason is some kind of mental health issues, or even physical health issues. And head trauma lately could have caused something in his brain to be shifted or changed. Could have caused a paranoid disorder??

2 Likes

He is or was cheating why else would he be thinking like that

2 Likes

I mean, having insecurities and doing the wrong thing by checking phones etc is one thing but hiding under the goddam bed to spy on you is just something else all together. So unhealthy and toxic.

6 Likes

No it is not healthy. If youā€™ve never given him reason to doubt you, itā€™s obsessive at best.

3 Likes

He thinks that highly of you! He KNOWS u have ā€œoptionsā€

1 Like

Sounds like OCD. :raising_hand_woman:t2:

ā€œCheckingā€ is a form of OCD where you obsess over checking in something until you feel like itā€™s ā€œright.ā€

I can get like this with unmanaged OCD. He should see a therapist.

2 Likes

No, and he has probably also bugged the house and put trackers on your car. Be careful as he may escalate to hurting you and/or the kids if he thinks you might leave him. Plan carefully and get help from professionals

4 Likes

This is far from healthy. Have you given him reasons to think this or has he cheated?

We can all see the red flags waving with the flashing neon lights pointed at them! This isnā€™t good and Iā€™d say get out.

1 Like

I wouldnā€™t put up with it. Its verbal abuse imo.Usually the oneā€™s that do that mind game,have some kind of guilty conscience. Just tell him youā€™re not putting up with that game. Stop or youā€™re out

He could be suffering from a mental illness, or could b drugs?

Ouuu shady shady I mean you were swimming with your children this your husband not cool on both side he should not feel this way & you shouldnā€™t put him in a position to act this way. Unless he is just crazy & obsessive this is not okay in my opinion :woman_shrugging:t2::woman_shrugging:t2:

If heā€™s cheating then heā€™s going to accuse you of cheating

1 Like

Now you know this aint normal :unamused:

1 Like

He has cheated or is thats is his guilt coming out

1 Like

He is a green eyed monster :japanese_goblin:

Heā€™s cheating babe :woman_shrugging:t3:

2 Likes

Get out now ,not a healthy relationship

1 Like

This is not a relationship that is going to work, it sounds to me like you were unfaithful and he will never get over it.

Heā€™s probably insure and has been cheated on before, is or has cheated himself, or someone or something lead him to believe you are or have been cheating.

1 Like

no maā€™am. itā€™s not healthy, itā€™s downright scary. Run.

Accuser is usually the abuser

3 Likes

He probably cheating tbh

2 Likes

My ex accused me of cheating when he was

5 Likes

You really had to ask if this is normal? Girl you know the answer. Heā€™s probably the one cheating, thatā€™s usually how it works.

Not healthy at allā€¦ to be honest itā€™s scary. he needs proffessional help

1 Like

Guilty conscience maybe

5 Likes

Run love run, not healthy hes projecting his guilt or his severe insecurities on to you and acting phyco to find a way to play victim. He doesnt sound like hes ready for a relationship. But there is the benefit of the doubt hes very insecure and self conscious and thinks your put of his league and youll leave him when ā€œyou find betterā€ or what he veiws as you thinking is better and this is his way of being over gaurded and self sabotaging before theres a slightest sniff of trouble or getting hurt which isnt good either ā€¦

Yikes on bikes. My ex was like that. Accused me constantly of cheating on him in a dumpster at work. No joke. Went to the store one time to get a pack of smokes, I was 50 cents short and the cashier covered that for me. Guess what? I had to have messed around with the dude cuz who gives up THAT much money to a random girl for no reason at all right? :joy::joy:
Point of the comment, your man is ridiculous. Run, because they only get worse. He did for sure.

2 Likes

This sounds scary. You need to make sure that you and your children are safe.

1 Like

I would say either incredibly insecure or guilty conscienceā€¦ and either way sounds mentally unstable because thatā€™s nuts

Get out now. Take your kids n go or throw him out. This isn t normal or healthy n guess what? Your kids can pick up on that. He s either majorly insecure or cheating himself. But it s not healthy. Checking your clothes etc is bordering on control. He ll only get worse. Take it from one who knows

1 Like

Had the same problemā€¦I left

Change your locks, and phone passwords . Iā€™d day step away from this relationship. Not normal to hide under the bed. That seems like a mental break down on his part. Be safe

1 Like

Why the hell is that even a question thatā€™s not healthy in the slightest he needs counselling or heā€™s cheating or both.

5 Likes

Not healthy at all. Some people blame you for things they would do to you. Either that or he is not well in the head. Be careful and make sure to turn notification off for this post as he may see.

Yeah thatā€™s definitely insecurities it sounds like. Everyone has them BUT to take them out on another isnā€™t okay and you need to call him out for it and tell them he canā€™t keep that shit up or you will leave. Itā€™ll only get worse the more you allow him to take his insecurities out on you. Mentally he isnā€™t right for all that, he needs to seek help for that or youā€™ll never have a healthy relationship.

Try and sit down and talk he might has noticed something has changed thatā€™s what happened with me it was a small detail of my relationship that I asked if he was cheating see why he asking you that

He has trauma he needs to sort out

3 Likes

My ex did the same. I was faithful. He was the actual cheater and he felt guilty and always blamed me heavily and he was domestic violence towards me with his actions. I ended up getting a divorce. He was too toxic. Come to find out later he had a child with another woman. So I made the right choice , just wish that I could of had a way out sooner.

4 Likes

Guilty complex himself and not healthy behaviour at all

3 Likes

He sounds like he has a guilty conscience! Heā€™s probably cheating!

4 Likes

Odds sound like HE is guilty and projecting that on to you. The problem here is way worse than that tho. He isnā€™t stable, thatā€™s unsafe along with unhealthy

2 Likes