Why is my husband paranoid about me cheating?

He doesn’t trust you. He’s the one cheating and he’s sick.

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Drugs can make these behaviours worse, especially if they are hiding the drugs from you too.

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Usually when your SO gets that paranoid about you cheating, it means they are

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No it’s not healthy.

Is he cheating or maybe a narcissist?

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That’s abuse.
Leave that mf
Sounds like he’s projecting

Get out now with you and both your kids! That doesn’t sound right at all! I’d say he’s the one cheating but I’d be so paranoid wondering if he’s going to jump out at anytime around my house. He needs help, something not right in his head!

This is the major sign that your spouse is cheating unfortunately. This will be your new reality now

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Um no this is not trauma this is abuse called coercive control please leave and get out safely

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Keeping you defensive he is the one cheating !

No this is not healthy. This is obsessive behavior and frankly, freeking concerning. He needs help. You need to contact the right people and remove yourself from a dangerous situation. Do it now while you still can.

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That’s creepy AF!!! OMG!!

Did you cheat before?
Has he always been like this?
Is he cheating?
Has he cheated?

If he’s always been like this leave!

If you cheated and he’s refuses to stop acting like this leave cause he can’t forgive you is no reason to act this way.

The accuser is usually the doer, check his shit bet you find his side piece!!!

  1. I noticed you said you were working things out that’s great to hear that’s a good choice, nothing wrong to choice happiness for the sake of you and him and children
  2. If the previous problem before starting to work it out was cheating or talking to another person (you or him) it has to be clear all ties are cut
  3. I agree his behavior is abnormal and he has created negative thoughts. that have to be cleared either by talking with someone with outside perspective or doctor because if he can’t clear those negative thoughts
    It doesn’t matter if your faithful or not and it will just become toxic. he will always find something suspicious. Taking to long at the store. Talking on the phone. It doesn’t matter it’s a reason for him to become suspicious
  4. As his wife and a mom you always have a choice with your safety and mental health and childs wellness taking first priority. On how to establish clear boundaries and for him to respect them. If he can work on that hopefully his behavior will ease up.
    (Just advice I understand how you are feeling) I hope everyone ends up happy in the future
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Sounds to me that someone was cheating previously in the relationship or he’s been broken by a cheater before you!

Usually the one accusing is the one doing…

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Not healthy for you or your kids…. :pensive:

He’s likely the one cheating.

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Yikes. Run. Thats psycho.

His behavior is weird, but everyone saying he’s cheating because he thinks you cheating is cheating is foolish.

My husband cheated and never accused me. Now with that being said I have NEVER cheated and I will forever question my husband because of his past actions…

With all that, I would not stay with someone who acts like that.

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He sounds super scary. Get away from him.

Those who cheat, and cheat enough, often will eventually destroy their own trust issues with others.

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This sounds like a crime show waiting to be written. I’d definitely be removing myself and the kids from the situation before he escalated things

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He’s cheating. Thats why he’s so worried.

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Probably bc he’s cheating honestly. Those that do often accuse the other person.

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Usually the ones that accuse the other is usually the one out there cheating huge red flag!

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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Why is my husband paranoid about me cheating?

He’s been cheating and he’s looking for something to validate it. And possibly on drugs you would be surprised how well they can hide that shit. I’d go buy a kit and make him piss in it since he’s checking your phone and etc He shouldn’t have no problem pissing in a cup for you

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My first thought would be that he has a guilty conscience. But, some people just have major trust issues due to their past experiences. But to answer your question, no, that does not sound healthy. Hiding under the bed is a bit extreme. I’d suggest counseling because a relationship can’t and won’t work without trust.

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Nothing is going to work out with this much distrust. Not sure what happened initially that made you need to work things out…did he cheat…did you cheat?
Either way working things out means trusting one another even if it’s hard. You might want to reconsider whether it’s worthwhile to work on things or just move on. Checking up on you and hiding etc is ridiculous.

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They do this when they’re the guilty ones. Either way, unhealthy for you and the kids.

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I say he has an Guilty conscience…I hate to say but it will never work if he is this bad…No sense u living on eggs shells…UNHEALTHY for you and your kids…Good Luck, wish u the best…

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Not healthy at all. He needs to see a psychiatrist. There might be something wrong.

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Is anyone going to say something about a grown ass man sneaking in and hiding under a bed to watch what you’re doing?? Get out fast!

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A guilty contience speaks louder than you think usually when some one acts in this manner they are doing dirt an look for reasons to poit blame on spouse no matter at what length…been there 5yrs …

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Maybe he’s on drugs that’s so weird to be hiding like that and to go to those extremes especially when u gave him no reason

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Pls, protect your children from this. I have seen unhealthy relationships of this type teach children they should sabotage their marriages this way also

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Run girl, RUN! no that is not normal at all.

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He may have a mental disorder…if it’s this severe…you should read about othello syndrome…I have schizophrenia and I question everything…I have driven my husband crazy…

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There could be a few reasons for this. Guilty conscience or trauma being two of them. The majority of my relationships have ended with me being cheated on. So I sympathize with him. But, I also can see the controlling and guilty conscience aspect too as I have been in the same situation.

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This is definitely not Healthy! That sh!t can wind up with you being seriously hurt or worse over nothing! Get rid of that psycho fast!

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Because he’s cheating. Guilty conscience. It sounds cliche and it’s not the answer you want but it’s what is happening. I’d put money on it. There is a chance he’s been traumatized from a past experience but that’s not as common in men. Leave.

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Sounds like he has a guilty Conscience.
That’s been my experience. I was with a man who would constantly accuse me of the craziest shit, it would blow my mind and I would do all these things to constantly prove my innocence. Until one day he slipped up and I found out all the crap he accused me of was exactly what he was doing. Narrsisct. Be careful sister and protect your mental health.

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He def has mental health issues - he needs to go for help- if not, grab children and exit !

Run! Get a restraining order. It’s not healthy for either of you. He really needs help. RUN!!! DIVORCE!!! RUN!!!

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Do you think it’s ok? I don’t think you would be asking unless you had a sick feeling in your gut. Trust yourself

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He has a fear of abandonment. He’s been hurt by girls in the past or had a parent be absent or unreliable. Sit and talk with him. Find out what he needs from you then do it, consciously on purpose. Reassure him. Comfort him.

It’s not healthy… he’s most likely heating himself OR has sever trauma of a past relationship… it’s probably cheating and it’s not healthy especially if you’ve been faithful… let him know his behavior is not only acceptable but disrespectful to you and the relationship… if he can’t see what he’s doing is toxic then I suggest you please leave

Come on ladies that say he is cheating. I was married twice. 15 years and 10 years and was cheated on both times. Now I’m shot and can see myself doing that. I can’t have a relationship because of it. Maybe he’s just so insecure he can’t help. I know I can’t so I am going to die alone. Don’t judge till you’ve walked in his shoes

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Usually if someone is behaving that way & accusing their partner of doing things, they are the ones who’s actually doing it but have a guilty conscience. This behavior is definitely not normal & you need to get out

Must be exhausting being with a person like that. I mean…if he is hiding under the bed in hopes to catch you doing something is where you have to draw the line somewhere. Sounds like he needs professional help and you need to move on.

I hope the two of you are seeing a counselor not just trying by yourselves. And if you are the chance would need to be made aware of the circumstances of living under. Even if they figure out what’s wrong that’s not going to solve the problem the way you’re going to have to live. And what happens if he convinces himself that you’re cheating no matter what you say or prove and he does you bodily harm there’s so much about nowadays I would absolutely get in touch with a counselor of myself and get some advice. There are multiple hotlines for adults nowadays as well as his children if nothing else start with one of those and see where 2 go from there.

Maybe he’s doing something he shouldn’t be and just wants to blame you so you won’t find out.

Hey lady, that’s crazy behaviour. If this is a regular thing I suggest running… not walking. Sticking with that level of possessive is how you wind up an episode on a true crime podcast. Good luck to you!

This is absolutely not healthy. His trust issues will only make your relationship worse.

Sounds like a guilty conscience. Usually when one is accusing the other of cheating, it is them that is doing the cheating

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I have been in a similar situation…while I was being accused of cheating he was the one doing it…
Not saying that’s whats up in your case, but something is off

Sounds like he’s got a guilty conscious and wants to find you at fault.

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I could not handle that at all and it’s absolutely not healthy at all. That would aggravate me to the point of telling him to get away from me. If there’s no trust you have nothing. If he can’t learn to trust (idk why the trust was lost) then you both need to move on. Those constant thoughts have to be making him crazy and I’m sure being accused is making you crazy. That’s definitely over board and needs to stop immediately.

I guess the question would be to ask ‘would you hide under the bed to spy on him?’ If the answer is no, then I think you know the answer.

Girl I am praying for u. My kids I know are austic and I maybe. But I don’t even understand what it is. But I drive my husband crazy trying to find out what it ia

In my experience if one spouse accuses the other of cheating it is usually because the accuser is cheating.

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It’s not just unhealthy, it’s probably unsafe. At best, he’s probably cheating. At worst, how far is he going to go with this stalking/controlling/irrational behavior?

Sounds like he’s insecure about what he was or is doing. U better run :speaking_head::speaking_head::speaking_head::speaking_head:

I learned with my first marriage, if he’s accusing you, he’s guilty (of something)

Nothing to understand Hon. You need to leave now. If he does this what’s to come of the future?

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Does he have any mental health issues?

Have you given him any reason to suspect that you are cheating?

Maybe he has been cheated on in the past and has issues.

Or could he be the one cheating?

The only time this can be healthy is if the two of you were playing Hide and Seek…

Have u cheated on him or be unfaithful the reason yall didnt work out before?

2 names come to mind. Control freak and toxic. It’s this now and leads me to ask what comes next? I’d run far and fast and NEVER look back

#narcissisticabuseawareness he’s the one cheating. Recognize the signs. Get out fast. Been there done that.

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Is this new behavior?

This is scary!
My gut is screaming run!

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Definitely not healthy he is paranoid you can not help him

So unhealthy especially if you never cheated. He is probably the one cheating

That man is telling you something. Just listen🤷🏼‍♀️ Red flags and showing you what he may just be doing👌🏽

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I mean…RUN away from that girl! Sounds scary af :flushed:

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U either cheated before or he is busy cheating now

Have u given him reason to think you are cheating .You need to go to counseling. This is not healthy

Hes been cheating trying to put the blame on you leave him quick get out with your kids

That would freak me out. I would be gone.

Sounds like a guilty conscious to me

The accuser is usually guilty of the accusations

Get out with the kids !

Not healthy. Get counseling. He may be cheating.

Cheaters will always be paranoid about getting cheated on.

His trust issues is getting the best of him, if you love him and can handle his “crazy”. Just reassure him until he finds his way

In my experience, he’s the guilty one who’s looking for a way out because he doesn’t want to own up to his Wrong doings. He’s hoping you slip up so he can leave.

Have you cheated before? If not, mayn’t guilty conscience. Maybe he needs help.

Have you ever been unfaithful,ever? Like prior relationships?
Has he ever (that you know of?) has any of his previous relationships had cheating?
Is it possible he has relationship ocd?

I recommend therapy.

Not healthy run for the hills

He needs help and you need to leave him. It’s only going to get worse from here

Probably cause he is guilty of something

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That’s kinda nuts unless you’ve cheated multiple times in the past

Guilty conscience is my first guess

Sounds like methamphetamine to me.

:tired_face: is he having any other mental health problems or delusions?
Or is there something that has happened that makes him think this or could’ve triggered these thoughts and feelings?
Possibly guilty conscience but I mean, if this is sudden and totally nothing of any substance, I’d def seek therapy or mental health help tbh.
That’s scary on some levels.

He is insecure and has low self esteem. The more you praise a man for the little things , and not complain about the little things , helps build him up. ( my experience)