Will I ever get over my spouse cheating?

He’ll never change and you’ll never get over it.

1 Like

Short answer: NO you will not,
2nd chance??? Ummm :thinking:
Why would you want too???
This isn’t about him anymore, this is about you… is that the kind of man you want ?? that it takes him cheating on you four times and possibly get another woman pregnant :pregnant_woman: to finally say I changed my mind now, I only want you?
Babygirl, you deserve a man that wants to take care of you and you only, you deserve a man that wants to spend time at home with his kids and you. If he was out cheating that means he was not at home spending time with the kids and you.
You deserve so much more and so much better, his brother knew what was going on that means other people knew that means he had no respect for you whatsoever. How can you stay with a man that has no respect for you your marriage or your children? You do know a real man does not need any second chances?? Because he would’ve never put you in a situation like that to begin with. So the best advice for you would be if you’re gonna stay with him forgive and forget. But my advice would be to kick him out, yes he has to leave because he’s the one who is out in the streets doing the dirty work. He did not have any respect for the family home, so he should not be allowed to stay there. :woman_shrugging:t2: 

I’d never get over it and leave

1 Like

That man has cheated on you, repeatedly, with multiple women. He hasn’t changed, he’s just perfecting the art of not getting caught.

Having kids together and spending 1/3 of your life with someone is no reason to stay! You didn’t do this to your family, he did!

To answer your question, no, you won’t ever get over it. You might move on from it. You might forgive him for it. But you will never forget it.

Not that cheating is ever okay, but this wasn’t a lapse in judgement and a one time thing. Multiple times. Multiple women. Your relationship will never be the same and 10 years from now, when you find out about more women and decide it’s time to move on, you will have wasted even more of your time and your life with this loser when you could be out there meeting the man that will treat you like the queen you are!

Tell this clown to kick rocks!

4 Likes

It won’t work , because even if you forgive him you will never forgot his cheating, and let me tell you something… once a cheater always a cheater they do not change, and the next time will be on you for giving him the opportunity to do it again.
You should be getting texted for stds every few months

1 Like

You may think you can move past it and not let it bother you but it will always be there. If you think he can change and he is working on himself and showing you the effort then I hope he doesn’t hurt you again. We can tell you to leave but we aren’t you.

Nope… he has a possible baby on the way . He needs to be involved in the process and get a DNA test once the baby is born to confirm they aren’t his. He had unprotected sex multiple times throughout your relationship. This is bigger than just cheating. He could have given you something. Please go get checked. He isn’t changed yet just because he’s behaving. Y’all need therapy to move forward not him denying a baby after having unprotected sex.

Slowly start to save up and leave Mr Nasty! You deserve better & you will never get over it

1 Like

No you won’t ever get over it. You break a vase and glue it back together it’s never the same beautiful vase. Trust is much the same. There will always be a part of you that questions if you can trust him and he’s proven no you can’t. Now your only choice is do you continue life with him knowing this or not.

1 Like

My own opinion, you will not be losing anything, because you never had anything. Certain animals mate for life. I think you got a free range rooster!

1 Like

From the 2nd sentence I was pissed for you! You won’t get over it better off figuring it out now.

2 Likes

Nope. You never get over it. He’ll cheat again too, any time he’s the least bit unhappy.

2 Likes

Nope they don’t usually change. Divorced and two kids later. Was gonna leave after catching him talking to the same girl from couple years before but turned out I was pregnant with my youngest so I stayed and he still did it. Took me 6 years to finally leave.

Like a man told me, should make it easier when he does it again.

It won’t work you will always have the supecious of him cheating and you will have many fights over it. It is draining and you are only allowing him to continue in doing it because he will asume you will give him many more chances. They say they change but they don’t. I mean he admitted to cheating on you 4 times, I wouldn’t be surprised if there was many more times. You should save yourself from more hurt and move on. You deserve so much better than this especially as the mother of his children. Don’t continue to let that baggage destroy you mentally. Years down the line you will find out he is still doing it and you just waisted so much more time with the dingbat.

1 Like

It can heal, but it won’t be easy.
I have, unfortunately, been on both sides of this.

Seek counseling for yourself as well as an STD panel done.

Doubtful that he’s changed. He’s just learned to be more sneaky.

It won’t work for a while because as it easy is it is to forgive you won’t forget and your find yourself questioning where is he of he goes out and that’d not fair on you :heart: I hope things do work out xx

Throw the whole man away.

3 Likes

Reminder to always love yourself more.

Sometimes love isn’t enough. Just because you love a cheater doesn’t mean you can’t find and love a petter person more suitable for you. You said yall have been together for 7 years & that has been ⅓ of your life so you’re likely around 21 or 22 years old. You have so much life ahead of you. So much more happiness & healthy lifestyle for you & your kids. Let him find happiness wherever that may be as well.

Dump his ass and take him for everything you can!!!

It’s not whether you should get over it , it’s why would you ever believe a word he says ever again?
Leave the nasty man.

You will never get over it… the damage is done especially since it’s happened more than once with more than 1 woman. You can forgive him but you’ll always have it in the back of your mind. He should’ve “changed” before entering a committed relationship and having children.

Honey, once is a mistake… 3 times!!! He clearly doesn’t respect you, I’m sorry he’s treating you this way you must be heartbroken :pleading_face: I wish you all the best for your future xx

4 Likes

From my experience, it won’t work. I could never get over it and even when he said he was changing, he was still doing the same stuff behind my back.

1 Like

Omg that’s awful. You deserve better.

3xs… So 1/3 of ur life u spent home with ur kids while he was out w other women in their driveway… U may forgive but ull never forget. And until she has a dna test i wouldnt believe him 1 bit.

4 Likes

Ooof. A man who’s changing because he got caught is not a genuine man.

11 Likes

Not completely. But you can heal from the damage and rebuild your confidence.

It takes a lot of work. Not a little, a lot. You’ll have the lingering feeling that you lost your best friend, you’ll grieve in all ways as if someone you loved died, you will feel this in the back of your mind and heart for years. It really does take a long time and a lot of work to get past someone doing something like that. I made it work with mine, he never actually went through with the “act” but, things happened and apart of my best friend was shared with someone else. It’s never been the same since. I hope it will be someday. It takes work on both sides. I suggest therapy, asap, if you do want to make it work.

1 Like

Yes you can get past it if both are you committed to it. Relationships take a lot of work especially when something like infidelity happens. If you truly love him and he is changing it is worth giving him the chance. I’ve seen Relationships survive this but it takes work and not giving up cause anyone can just give up…that’s the easy way. Focus on your relationship and you can overcome. I wish you the best and kudos to you for not giving up on him

2 Likes

From my experience, no. A relationship where one partner has cheated will never be the same and there will always be resentment and insecurities from the person that was wronged. My ex cheated on me for over a year and I had no clue until someone called me who had seen him get in her car. It was his ex before me and we have a son together, he was 6 months old when I found out. I tried to stay and work it out but left after 6 months of constantly not feeling good enough and feeling hurt. After I left, I felt amazing. I felt free to do what I wanted and I didn’t feel insecure anymore. It’s been about a year and a half since I left him and I don’t regret it one bit.

He does not deserve you and you don’t deserve to be treated that way by anyone. Leave his a$$. You will find someone who appreciates you and treats you the way you deserve to be treated.

No you’ll never truly get over it. Even with counseling they’ll just teach you how to live with it. Getting over that kind of betrayal is next to impossible. Imo you should be done, what he did taints your relationship forever and is just disgusting now. Also he cheated more than once, no he isn’t going to stop.

1 Like

You gotta learn to forgive n forget n if baby is his learn to accept it other wise it won’t work

Been there done that sis… I tried so hard to forgive and forget but I just couldn’t forget about it and anytime he went out or I wasn’t around him I always had a feeling he was doing shady stuff (even if he literally wasnt)
It’s not easy… and I could not let it go… any fight we got into I always brought it up, anytime we would talk about feelings it would get brought up… it’s something that sticks with you… it’s something that completely breaks you and changes who you are as a person… I would honestly take this time and find yourself again and find love for yourself and do what’s best for you… he’s done it a couple times… he could possibly do it again even if he is “changing” it’s a hard battle togo through and to get through. Hope all works out but if it were me I would leave and take my kids and find myself again and figure out how your able to trust another person again… this is going to be a long hard journey… wishing you all the best! :heart:

Well that’s your decision if you want a player really he has cheated on you with 3 girls that you know of and who knows who they have slept with so your taking chances on getting a disease Ajax cannot take care of

Nope you’ll never fully trust him again :100:

2 Likes

Gross, he is obviously okay with some serious deception too. I would leave :nauseated_face::face_vomiting::face_vomiting:

Why in the world would you watch to be with someone who thinks so little of you?

3 Likes

If you didn’t know he was cheating in the first place how do you know he’s changing to pick someone up and do it in the car before work is not an accident by any means

3 Likes

Babe, please leave. That’s just so wrong and you deserve better.

2 Likes

Once a cheater always a cheater he’s disrespected you more than once he will treat u how u allow him to treat u

1 Like

Once a cheater… Always a cheater…

Never…wouldn’t even try!!!

What changes exactly has he made that tells you that he’s no longer a person that cheats and puts your life at risk? That he’s no longer a liar and respects you and the partnership/family you’ve created together? Is he in therapy really doing the hard work to figure out why he’s broken and chose that path and correcting that or is he just giving you lip service? What has he done to rebuild trust between the two of you? Has he taken full responsibility for the relationship needing to be rebuilt after he gutted it? And no there will always be before the affair and then after the affair. It’s a trauma that never goes away. Are you in therapy to work through the trauma he’s caused for you? To really decide if this is what you want for the rest of your life or are you settling bc you have feelings and the unknown is scary?

12 Likes

Y’all could maybe get past this if you try some counseling. And if he really is dedicated to changing and doing better. Prayers for you and your family.

1 Like

He’s only changing right now cause it hasn’t even been year since he got caught. A coworker? Lol lord. Been there and he continued to cheat. I ended up embarrassed and looking stupid because if people know you know and you stayed they quit telling you and laughing at you instead. Nevaaaa again.

He only wants you now?! What about if you didn’t find out? Then what? Kick that man to the curb. He’s trash!

Nope. Move on babe. :black_heart:

Do you really have ask…

1 Like

He can lie but DNA doesn’t.

10 Likes

Don’t feel stupid. Love makes us do so really weird shit sometimes. We’ve all been there I’m sure. Do you trust him? Like he might only be changing cause he doesn’t want to lose you BUT he might go right back to what he was doing in a year or figure out how to lie better. I hope he changes for you for the better. It’s a tough spot to be in.

So he cheated on you 3 times an a possibility of getting his CO-WORKER pregnant :thinking:
You know damn well if he wasn’t sorry after the 1st time he isn’t going to be sorry after the 10th time

And no I’m not downing you for loving who you love but also I’m not going to sugar coat it an say he’s going to get better and yall going to have a fairytale lifestyle because it will NOT be that .

So just prepare yourself for this love you want SO BAD

I would never be able to trust him again! Anytime we weren’t together I’d always drive myself nuts wondering what he was really doing.

It takes a lot so be ready for the long haul, both of you. You two might benefit from a couples therapist if you can afford even 1 session a month that’ll be better than nothing. If one of you already has a therapist work with them, and ask if once in a while the other can come in for a couples session. Rebuilding trust isn’t easy for either party and it can take years. You both need to decide if you are one of the couples that takes years can you handle that? Because if not you might as well split now and not waste any more of each other’s time. If you want to fight for your marriage no matter how long it takes though go continue TOGETHER. That’s the key is you both have to be on the same page doing the work together.

If you can’t afford therapy there are so many great self help books out there go get some, you can even get audio books and listen in your car.

Also baby math isn’t all that accurate. If it ends up being his baby y’all need to prepare for that too. Personally I’d want to hear it from her that the math doesn’t add up.

3 Likes

If you haven’t already, please go get yourself tested for std’s.

2 Likes

No you won’t ever let it go

If someone loves you, they don’t cheat. No matter what.

Leave you deserve better

Once a cheater always a cheater

:smirk:. . . And you’re proving it’s ok and you’ll accept it, so why are you asking us if you’ll get over it. Clearly you will if you’re staying. Girl bye.

1 Like

I feel for you :broken_heart: I left the situation I was in but I couldn’t get over it… I see people commenting here saying, “once a cheater, always a cheater” but that is not always true. I don’t think you will ever fully get over it. I never could. You could go years thinking you are but then you see him just glance at another woman and suddenly feel the insecurity sneaking in. I hope he sticks to his word and that you’re able to mend the relationship and “get over it”. :heart:

6 Likes

Who said his actions are proving he’s changing - him or you?

If it’s him, I call BS.
If it’s you, then I would want actual evidence.
Is he in counseling for sex addicts?
Did he show you the paternity test?
Did he get std tested to show he’s clean?

Otherwise - I don’t think it sounds like he’s changing at all because he’s still lying every single day.

1 Like

That’s a hard pass. FOUR other women and not even a year ago…he is not going to change. He is paying lip service. You deserve so much better. You will never be able to “love” him enough to do right by you. Stop trying to do that. It’s a trauma response. Get out and go speak with a therapist.

5 Likes

I was married 31 years. The 1st 15 years my ex husband had several confirmed affairs. I stayed another 15 years trying to forgive and forget. I admit there were good times and the ex husband became much more involved with the kids and I. He tried to fix it but I couldn’t get past it. The kids grew up and moved out, I have always had a good job and my education, I moved out and divorced. I am so much happier with myself and life in general. I can’t say what’s best for you but I couldn’t get past it. My self esteem, self worth, and life in general was cloudy. I had to leave, I couldn’t stand it no more. It’s been 4 years and I have recently met a man who brings me such joy. He acts like I’m the center of his world. I’m so thankful that I didn’t waste another day, wish I had left years earlier. Good Luck and God Bless you.

1 Like

I’ve seen people stick it out after something like this but I feel like they are always on edge

Girl, he’s not sorry he did it. He’s sorry he got caught.
Get him out of your house. There are loyal men out there who don’t neednto stroke their ego by sleeping around.

4 Likes

He isn’t proving he’s changing :roll_eyes:
THREE women. THREE women he stepped out on you with, at least that you know of.
You will never not think of him with them. You will never not think if he’s cheating when he leaves early, comes home late, runs an errand, etc.

Not to mention that baby could very well be his.

I hope for your sake he’s a changed man, but ya know what they say about cheaters. :man_shrugging:

1 Like

No u won’t. Everything he does will be sus. Even how he kisses you or treats u will be sus. U will always be thinking bout it even if u forgive but won’t forget

2 Likes

That’s not a second chance, that’s multiple and I feel like it’s only a matter of time before you find out he’s still doing it. Unless you got an actual paternity test done, I wouldn’t put it past him that said child is his. It’s crazy how much we’ll be blind/in denial for over someone. :melting_face::woman_facepalming:t2:

3 Likes

Would he stay? Would he treat you with the same respect you’re showing him? Does he love you as much as you love him? What would you tell your daughters? Your sons of it was their girlfriends ? Follow the advise you would give them if you can’t think past your heart

3 Likes

I stayed with a man 9 more years after he cheated on me after the birth of our son. I eventually got over it but in that process lost all of my love for him. The ONLY reason he admitted it was because he got caught, same for your man. If this incident had not brought his ways to light, he would still be doing this stuff (sadly the chances of him still doing it are high) and you wouldn’t be the wiser. So his so called ‘change’ is likely temporary. Let that marinate dear. He is putting you at risk of STDs and so much more. Him cheating multiple times, he is literally showing you what you mean to him. A possible pregnancy scare? Obviously he isn’t being careful. Just…ew. In my personal experience, you will always wonder what he is doing. Your trust will never be the same again. The entire dynamic of your relationship will be forever changed and you need to think long and hard about that. Can you handle that? It is emotionally draining. He has shown you his true colors. Take a long hard look at those colors. Don’t let your love for him blind you like it does to so many women.

3 Likes

My husband of almost 10 yrs recently had an affair. For a few months apparently shes pregnant but we dont “really know that” bc apparently her tubes were tied :roll_eyes: so idfk. but we have 3 kids together. Saying all the sweet things and same things that im all he wants but the trust will never be the same and youll always have anxiety and be on high alert…its VERY VERY HARD RN STILL.

3 Likes

They can claim to be changing but it doesn’t mean they are. Once the trust foundation is busted it will crumble. Now you will always wonder if he is sleeping with coworkers before work, on lunch, after work if he runs late. You cannot trust he’ll be honest about it, plus with cheaters usually only sorry they got caught and then work harder to be more secretive about it.

1 Like

Hmmm, he may continue to do it because you have decided to stay with him. He obviously has no respect for you or his children. Whatever you decide, I hope God gives you the strength to totally forgive him because this is one of the worse type of heartache anyone should go through

3 Likes

It’ll never work, sorry I’m just being honest

I am a Relationship/Communication Counselor. Learning how to communicate with each other is the key to moving forward.
You can and will eventually forgive but you will never forget. Seeking a relationship counselor is good advice just be prepared for difficult questions and discussions with the counselor. As a counselor I would not recommend monthly sessions, twice a month could work as long as you both maintain the strategies from session to session. You will have many thoughts and reasons why you want to stay together and double that in reasons why you shouldn’t stay together. But in all of my clients the ones that stay together for the right reasons have a solid happy life together. It can be done but it does take work to make it good.

1 Like

You gave him a pass and that’s the worst thing you could’ve done, you devalued yourself, he’s a pig and will never change

6 Likes

I’m sorry but once the heat dies off he will cheat again… but you can only learn this lesson the hard way unfortunately :heart:

3 Likes

A cheetah :leopard: changing his spots…. Ok​:rofl:

You can forgive, but you will never forget.
You’re always going to wonder who he’s texting, who he’s talking to. Where is he when he’s late? Why he isn’t answering his phone. It will quickly turn toxic, and then you’ll be blamed for keeping a stranglehold on him.
It wasn’t a mistake. It was numerous times.

4 Likes

You can always forgive but never forget it!

Second chance? ITts more like the 5 th chance you are giving him not the second at all

5 Likes

Bottom line if we did what they do to us they would never forgive
And I’ve been where you’re at more times than I can count everyone I’ve ever been with has cheated and no matter how much you love them your trust just never comes back and you will always be second guessing yourself it’s up to you how you want to live personally myself I want peace

2 Likes

Well first off I know you will never get past it and secondly he isn’t a man he’s a little boy and he is NOT worth it!!! Don’t stay for the kids because I promise you they can have a beautiful life with a happy mama!!!

3 Likes

By allowing his behavior you’re allowing yourself to be exposed to STD’s, possibly one that could be lifelong.

4 Likes

I’d be having a chat with the girl that says she pregnant just to get her story. I would need to know for sure if it was his kid or not.

7 Likes

Yikes. That is a lot of different women to be cheating with. Shows a very clear cut pattern and personality issue. I wouldn’t give any “chances” here. He’s shown blatant disrespect for you, and your family.

6 Likes

Sorry but I don’t think he changed.

2 Likes

Why ?? Why do you love somebody who doesn’t love nor respect you ??? Why ???

4 Likes

Only you can ever make that decision.
Ide be packing his bags and kicking him out

2 Likes

Oh no. No no no. This is sad. Know your worth, honey. Leave.

3 Likes

No way in hell!.. I don’t think you will ever get over it!! He did the most disgusting thing to you… I’m so sorry but you deserve so much better

1 Like

Nah. Don’t ever forgive his Dumbass. Let him think the shits sweet and get your ducks in a row and LEAVE

You’ll forgive in time but you’ll never forget. Most days you won’t think about it but something will trigger and the hurt will be there. But if you really love him and believe he’s changed it’s all worth it

7 Likes

There is a saying once a cheater is always a cheater… He will do it again to you

3 Likes

Go to the dr gynecologist asap and get checked for sexually transmitted diseases.

7 Likes

You never get over it.

My now ex husband did the same several times the first 6 years we were together.

Told me the same he change etc etc

I stayed for another 8.

The only thing he did was get better at hiding it.

8 Likes