Backstory: She is only allowed supervised visitation. That is what the kids dad and I have agreed on since splitting up. I have no contact with her by my choice due to the mental and emotional abuse she causes me. I have promised to NEVER keep the kids away from her and my ex has held up on that end by allowing her to visit since the children live with him. She feels she is entitled to have alone time with her grandchildren. I have and so has my ex already explained to her why we are not comfortable with her having them unsupervised. She is toxic, narcissistic, and likes to play the victim. Because my ex won’t take the kids over to her house so they can spend the weekend with her she is now throwing a fit. She has sent my ex’s mother nasty messages since she provides care for the kids while my ex is at work out of jealousy and feels she has just as much right to the kids as his mother does.
I love my mother because she is my mother, however, I don’t believe she is a good influence on my children.
Will the court grant her what she wants? I fear for my children’s safety. I don’t know what to do.
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Will the courts give my mother what she wants?
No grand parents have no rights
Well what state are you in? I would doubt that the courts would but I guess it really does depend on the law in your state ultimately.
Depending on where you live grandparents have no rights and can only take your kids away from you by proving that both parents are unfit.
Get a lawyer.
If you and your ex feel she is a bad influence on your children, get proper legal advice.
Some states do allow for grandparents rights. Lawyer up, provide print outs of ALL communications from her to any of you including your MIL and go to court and hopefully the judge will rule in your favor. In the meantime DOCUMENT EVERYTHING and only communicate with her via text or email so you have written documentation. I discourage you from recording phone calls unless you research the laws in your state because that may be illegal. Talk to an attorney as soon as possible. Best of luck to you.
I would print out any sort of evidence that she has harassed any member of the family, in order to terminate her visitation rights. She does not deserve to see them, and I honestly feel like she’s only doing these things to upset you again. You may have to go no contact.
Depends on your state, a friend of mine was served by her ex’s parents for visitation rights after her sons dad died in a car accident, they now get him every other weekend and 2 weeks out of the summer
Grandparents have no rights. Take everything she has done as evidence. If they show that she is verbally, emotionally or physically abusive then a judge won’t give her any visitations.
Like others have said depends on the state. I do know that most states abide by the grandparents only get rights when one or both parents are: incarcerated, deceased, deployed or deemed unfit. So it’s highly unlikely she will gain any rights. If you have the means I would counter sue for pain and suffering.
She doesn’t have any rights to your children and she can’t say she does. My dad has said he does have rights but I’ve looked up that grandparents don’t have any legal right to their grandchildren so she’s full of herself.
Grandparents rights very from state to state. Document everything negative she has said date and time if possible. Print out all email and keep any voice mail, chances are she will not be granted what she wants. Just in case talk to a lawyer.
I’m not sure what state you’re in. But I looked into it once with my in laws and there was a list of criteria for reasons. If she fills/filled a parental role or if the children are in a dangerous situation and a few others. From the sounds of the post they won’t grant her anything. Like comments above said, document everything just in case.
Grandparent rights differ state to state, and can usually only be considered if the parents are unfit or deceased. But if your kids do not even live with you, their mother, full time, a judge could rule either way. Either see that as a sign or give her more possible reasons to get them. Very tricky case here!!!
Advocates Against Grandparents’ Visitation Rights
Join this group you’ll get great help and advice from where you live. You’ll need to make a fu binder.
She may get something. Don’t agree to anything. Unless it’s forced by courts.
Get a lawyer, take it to court. If you can get evidence of why y’all are uncomfortable with having her around by herself that will help tremendously. When y’all speak to her record it, even supervised visits. Any messages save them. Any witnesses, use them. Grandparents may have right in all states but only if they’re fit. Here are the laws etc per state.
Well if they let her file papers for grandparents rights my guess is she lives in a state that has grandparents rights.
If you truly are fearful of her being around your children and you have evidence on this, grandparent rights don’t even apply here, this is well being of a minor. This means you could get a protection order against her than you’d have all control over when the kids are near her and if she violates it would be in your favor. This is crappy though you have to go through this especially with your own family wishing you the best
Nope. They are extremely hard to get and usually are only granted to grandparentswhen one parent dies and the living one refuses visits
She needs to realise that grandparents do not have rights over the children unless neither parent is capable for any extreme reason. Rather than throw money at the courts, she’d be better using it on counselling and working on herself
You’re the mother and your kids don’t live with you. I’d be more worried about that!
I live in michigan. We do not have grandparents rights. Check with your local child support system and ask if you have it in your state
Otherwise keep all records of her nasty letters, texts and voice-mail so if you do go to court you can use them
Why do your kids live with there father that’s a bit weird
If you’re honestly coming here to comment “omg the children live with their father and not you wow” fuck outta here. How is it unusual for kids to live with their dad? They have just as much responsibility as the mother for 1!!! And for 2, She’s asking something about the grandparents, completely different topic, y’all don’t need to go getting all nosy and shit Jesus 
R they old enough to choose, here its 7 when they can tell the judge what they want
It’s sad to me that so many people are concerned with why they live with dad.
As if there MUST be something wrong If they do…
Sometimes dads have really good jobs and live in areas with better schools.
Sometimes dads have work schedules that make it easier to care for the kids. (Maybe moms on 3rd)
Sometimes moms have been SAHMs for years and when they’re newly separated, this is something that has to be done temporarily while mom gets on her feet.
I’ve seen situations so fucked up, that mom was so severely emotionally abused that she presented poorly in court and mentally couldn’t handle raising kids, and they were handed to the ex.
Depending on state we’re talking about…. There is literally no telling…
There are literally a million reasons as to why they could have chosen this for their kids and it doesn’t necessarily mean anything is wrong with the woman.
Stop being bullies:woman_facepalming:t2:
Make sure you and your husband have a legal document as to what happens to the kids if either parent should pass away. Otherwise they might just end up with her anyway. Most people dont think of this and just assume the other living parent would have the kids but i have seen grandparents fight for custody. She does have to prove the situation they are in is unfit but nowadays you just dont know what can happen.
My friend went through this. And as long as the parents agree and aren’t keeping the kids from her, they’ll throw the case out.she will just have to deal with it
Most states don’t aknowledge have grand parent rights. Hopefully your state doesn’t either.
The same state that removed me from my mother and put me in foster care gave her grandparent visitation. Go figure…I packed up and moved 1700 miles away to Florida where they refused to enforce the order.
You are allowing her to see them… most.courts won’t mess with it.
I very much doubt it.
Are you and your ex on good terms?
Tbh, even if you’re in a state that has grandparental rights, you’re not denying her visitation. Nowhere does it state you have to allow them to take them/keep them overnight. Just that they have access for visitation.
Can I ask how old they are please
When they get to a certain age
The magistrate may ask the kids what they want
He/she will make a ruling based on that
Its hard when there are family issues due to possible
Unsafe conditions
Is there a reason she can only have supervised visits
Such as violence towards you or the kids
Best advice is talk to a women’s legal service group
They will be able to tell you your rights
They can walk you through the process
They can also advocate for you and your kids
You don’t stop her from seeing the kids its just superviced i don’t think she has any legal ground
Document everything and since you an your ex are on the same page. I don’t see why they would force either of you to do this.
Very rarely do grandparents have rights. She would have to prove that it would be harmful for the kids to not have her in their lives.
Bro move to a state without grandparents rights because most States don’t have them for this exact reason
I don’t think so… she’s still being allowed to see the children. You just don’t want her being alone with the kids. I don’t think court can force you to allow the kids alone time with her. I think courts can only enforce that when it comes to the parent seeking visitation. If you have any proof, text messages or anything proofing she’s toxic, or harassing, I would save those just in case. But you’re not stopping her from seeing the children so I don’t think the courts will change anything. Good luck!
Document everything and if you truly fear for your kids and can show the danger, file an exparte motion with the court to change her visitation and get a PPO. To have her unable to see them. If it isn’t safe it isn’t safe.
I live in South Africa here there is no such thing i also have a narc for a mother and have been no contact for 1 year and 9 months my son is 8 my daughter 2 my mum has tried going to court they laughed at her as only the parents have these kinds of rights here I’m so sorry you have to endure this it’s horrible i know exactly how you feel hun keep your foot down document everything like every single message everything
Grandparents can go to court to get visitation rights but its not automatic and unusual the court won’t grant it because it goes against parents rights
If you are allowing visits and you and ex are on the same page I wouldn’t worry too much about it. Explain everything in court along with your reasoning behind supervised visits, but since you are not keeping them from her anyway it won’t go far.
What state are you in because there’s not a grandparents law in any state
No but why don’t you have the kids? Why is it everyone else has them?
Usually you have to prove she is unfit to be around the children alone
If they live with your ex she needs to serve him
Always the parents choice❣️
If you’ve been allowing her to see them the courts aren’t going to do much. You have to fight for grandparents rights in most states.
Seek advice from a solicitor, if she’s that bad I wouldn’t allow her anywhere near the children personally x
Go back to court with the threatening messages!
I have legal custody of my granddaughter ! I share it with my son .
In short, no, grandparents do not have a legal right to see their grandchildren in any of the 50 states. The law is built to protect parental rights above all else, and automatically granting grandparents visitation rights is seen as a violation of a parent’s right to decide what’s best for their child. But as stated
Google grandparents rights. She can waste her money on a lawyer, she’s just living up to the narcissistic person she is.
Yeah no. Unless there’s Grandparents Rights in your state, she isn’t entitled to anything. Most states don’t have that. You should read up on what state you are in leans toward.
Depends on the state… In my state, grandparents must prove it’s in the CHILDS best interest to form a relationship. If BOTH parents file papers with the court disputing this fact… It usually will get tossed out!! Grandparents are not automatically entitled like they would like to think.
If you both go to court and say why it’s the way it is I don’t think they will give it to her
In the state of Florida grandparents have no rights from what I understand
If you have nasty messages from her, print them and take them to court as proof of her character.
first of all, no one has to ‘love’ the woman who gave birth to them, just because she is one’s mother. Second, if she was allowed ‘supervised’ visitation with her grandkids, even taken your ex to court, just might not go in her favor, especially since she is sending his mother nasty texts. Make sure your ex prints them out to prove his point. And do I think the court will allow this, ??? Not really, it would be up to the parents of the kids to allow or disallow any visits & she has proven she isn’t one who should have them alone
I don’t know what state your in but iowa dosent have grandparents rights so no they won’t here
Grandparents don’t always get “visitation rights” depending on where you live. Regardless a court will always rule in the best interests of the child and if you and your ex are in agreement that unsupervised visits are not in the best interest of your children the court is likely to side with you both
I really think since you and your ex agree that you don’t want her alone with the kids, the court will take that into consideration.
It’s doubtful, but just in case Document everything. Ask your exes Mom, to save the messages she’s received and be a witness on y’all’s behalf if need be.
It depends on the state but regardless of that tell the judge the truth of why you keep your distance from her and why she has supervised visitation now
The courts won’t grant her crap. Even in states with grandparents rights, she has no leg to stand on because you’re allowing her to see them. She’s about to get laughed out of court.
My nephews paternal grandmother sued for custody of him, she ended up with every other weekend plus splitting holidays. The circumstances were a little different to your situation, she should have won full custody, however she is grateful to get what she has and is going to go back soon for more.
Grandparents can absolutely win visitation rights. I wouldn’t expect your mother to get what she wants though. She has no ground to stand on. You provide proof of her abuse and toxic behavior, then you have nothing to worry about.
My mom tried this same shit.
Make sure your state doesn’t have grandparents right. Must has to be if one parent died his/her parents for have visitation or if he / she is in jail. Sounds like they want to take physical custody. I would definitely contact a lawyer.
How old are your kids
Advocates Against Grandparents’ Visitation Rights
Daughters Of Abusive Mothers
Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers 2.0
These groups could possibly help you 
Not all states have GP rights but usually if they do then the GP needs to show they already had a strong relationship with the child and their removal from the child’s life would be detrimental, a parent has to pass and keep the child from the opposite sides GPs, or the parents must be unfit in some way (drugs jail etc) unless you can meet one of those criteria a judge would be annoyed for a GP wasting their time
grandparents have NO rights. she can throw tantrums all she wants. its your child and you get to say where they go and who they’re with. the grandparent literally has to prove that you are unfit and that it will be detrimental to the child if they dont see her which is incredibly difficult to prove in court especially if you are in fact a good parent.
I just want to say that you don’t have to love anyone. I have a bio Mom and an adopted Mom and I don’t love either one. I’ve been wronged my entire life by both of them and its caused me ALOT of emotions that I’ve taken out of the wrong people.
Girl I bet the court thinks your mom is being petty and acting crazy. They are YOUR children, not hers. I honestly don’t think there is anything she can do unless you are like, an extremely unfit mother (and from the sounds of this post you are a great mother!)
You need to document like crazy everything. If her contact with the kids hasn’t been completely revoked then she’s going to have a hard time proving the relationship was damaged and she needs more time. If she send threatening messages to people they need to file against her. Since it’s now a legal court matter you guys needs to consult with a lawyer or two and stop conversing with her. Once you’ve obtained legal counsel they will contact hers and you go from there. It’s a legal matter now so idk what she texts you guys that’s awful don’t play into her game!
Bring that up at court and in ur affidavit. Do anything and everything u have to to prove y shes not capable to be unsupervised. They have a place where I live it’s called all abt kids it’s to help wit drop off and pick up to where u dont see the other party and the child or children r safe but its supervised for the kids sake. Since she dont want to be supervised wit u guys let professionals step in and thatll send her the message u rnt playing or budging when it comes to ur kids. You were raised by this woman u wld know better than anyone else all the true reasons ur scared to leave her alone wit ur babies. I know how hard it it is to grudge stuff up from the past cuz it might make u remember things that u buried for a reason but if it keeps it babies safe then do w-e is necessary and if u can afford a lawyer or get a pro bono 1 to help. Just suggestions. I’m lucky to have gotten away without a fight from my ex or his fam towards my son cuz they r way more than toxic and I’ll just leave it at that. Good luck to u hun. Ur doing what u think is best for ur children as u shod they cm first always.
Surely the judge would say she already has access to your children even those she isn’t the best person to be around them. Just go in there if it gets that far and with there dad and state your case of why you don’t want them alone together.
It depends on what state you live. Grandparents hardly get rights to the kids.
I doubt they would to be honest unless she pull some shyt out of her ass and makes you and your ex seem unfit but it’d have to be a huge thing and she’s need proof. It does depend on the state but I still doubt it
Let your mom see her grandkids
Make sure you go to court with him and tell the judge everything. I’m not sure why your ex has coutody though sounds like everyone needs some therapy.
To be fair Grandparents are vital to the stability of their grandchildren and people change. Please consider family mediation as all involved might benefit. I do think of the well-being of the children being dragged into court but even a short visit could benefit the children. I have a grandchild I’m not allowed to see and my heart is broken. He has been my world and because of a new wife my son has requested no contact. I don’t know of anything I have done except love my children and grandchildren too much. If she is not a sex offender or murderer please think about what is going on and don’t let issues with your parents keep them from their grandchildren. My heart goes out to all involved and I pray you can find a compromise.
Depends on the state you live in
If she’s not safe for an adult, she’s not safe enough for the children
grandparents don’t have rights.
Document EVERYTHING!!! Screenshot those nasty messages sent to your ex’s mom. Document the things you have experienced in your life. Your job is to protect your children. I’m so sorry you’re going through this but if the judge sees her own daughter is saying no, I cannot imagine he/she would grant it. Stay blessed and keep us posted 
Good enough to look after children when it suits the parents.
Just document everything and relax. Between your testimony, witness testimony (the other grandma) and documentation, you shouldn’t have any issues. Sounds to me as if this is just a move for control. Let her think she has it and then just smile when the judge laughs at her.
Give a copy of the nasty messages to the court. And any other nasty stuff she’s done.
In my experience tho, most Grandparents aren’t as nasty to their grandchildren as they were to their own children. You can continue to let him provide visitation, but document that is happening, time, duration and place. That way the court sees that she already gets to see the kids. I doubt a court will ever force a parent to make their children to spend the night with anyone, even grandparents…
Since she’s already allowed to have supervised visits, I doubt the court will do anything honestly.
Ny doesn’t have grandparents rights. Unless it’s unstable parenting… But cps is always involved
My mom fought me. Drugs were her biggest issue.
She did get court ordered supervised visits. However it was short lived as she never went to the access center.
People will say “grandparents have no rights” however each situation is different.
Also when thinking grandparents have no right ls the court always looks at the relationship of grandma and the children. You can just strip your kids away from someone.
PLEASE put everything in writing - stay as calm as you can with your words.
My mother was a Judge - they d not appreciate crying, etc., - but have to look at facts. Don’t lie about anything…
A Grama is a Grama and so important to kids - Gramas are Gramas and love those kids! BUT good parents protect their children…
Maybe public outings - parks - malls - zoos and if one of you can spend time at her house when the kids go that would be great. In a kind letter point out nice ways to talk to the kids …
We all do the best we can with who we are.
I was abused in every way as a child - I was not a 100% a great mom, but my adult children will tell you I’m a by-far-better Grama. 
I believe in 2nd chances, and my daughters have had to lovingly guide me through re-doing some of my verbal habits. <3
Here in the UK she would only get an hour a week IF she could prove she was a consistent part of there lives like used to have them regularly. I only know this because my son goes to his grandparents every other weekend and they wanted every weekend so I looked into it
It depends on the state that you live in and if there is any documented history of her being abusive to you therefore she will not be a great influence on your kids
The laws have changed over time and grandparents do not have rights. The only way they can get any kind of rights over your children is if the parents are deceased. I’d keep all the proof where she sends toxic messages etc and show them to the judge and they’ll pretty much laugh in her face.
Only place with grandparent rights is California . Been through this judge ended the hearing as soon as they walked in