No it’s not wrong, you upfront told him how you felt and told him you wouldn’t take care of it. Get rid of it, he should’ve listened to you in the first place. Better yet, take it to a family member or something.
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Tell him straight up what you plan to do before he leaves. If he does not want that to happen, he can find someone to foster the dog while he is gone.
You have a lot on your plate, and will undoubtedly need a lot of help while he is gone, just with a newborn and a toddler. You do not have time in your life for a dog on top of that. Which any reasonable person should have realized beforehand. Your husband is extremely inconsiderate of you and your time. And inconsiderate of the dog he brought into a household where the people could not adequately care for it. Regime it, if your husband doesn’t foster it. But tell your husband first.
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Id re-home it. Your husband was in the wrong to get a dog YOU didn’t want and expect you to care for it while he is gone. I’d tell him to find a new home for it or you will when the time comes.
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Horrible situation to be in. BUT, it’s not the poor pups fault. I say keep him, give him a great home while your husband is serving our country, and really learn to love the dog. Your kids will love it and your husband will thank you.
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Marriage isn’t always just about what you want. If the dog makes him happy and isn’t an issue around the home why is it an issue?
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As much as he is sacrificing for you the least you can do is take care of a dog…
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I understand you did not want the dog, verbalized you did not want the dog. But think of the betrayal he will feel when he comes home to no dog. He may have gotten the dog truly believing you would become attached to it. You seriously need to talk to him before this goes further.
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Everyone seems to be missing the point where SHE WILL BE TAKING CARE OF A DOG SHE ALREADY SAID SHE DID NOT WANT. Regardless if he wants it or not he isn’t the one that will be taking care of it. She will have 2 children under 5 years old to care for. It was wrong for HIM to leave that burden on her knowing she will soon be taking care of NEWBORN plus a young child BY HERSELF. How selfish of him to leave that on her to deal with when he is already leaving her to raise the kids by herself as is. I see how many of you let your husbands walk all over your wishes and wants and needs:unamused:
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Maybe find a doggy daycare somewhere that the dog can go to during the day. Honestly you rehome it you might as well kiss marriage good bye but then again I fear for the dog if left in your care.
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My husband wanted a dog when my first was young and I didn’t. Said the same thing, I have enough on my plate and I can’t also care for a dog. So we talked about it, but he REALLY wanted one and he’s my husband so I gave in, I want him to have what he wants too. I said the same thing, I wasn’t caring for it… it was on him if he wanted it. Eight years later, that dog is my absolute heart and soul. About a month after we got him, I got pregnant with baby #2… and she is the most obsessed with him of anyone in our house.
Point being, give the dog a loving chance. You might change your mind. Also, don’t do anything behind your husbands back… It will absolutely just lead to more (bigger) problems than a good dog.
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I would tell him the dog goes when he goes. I love dogs but I know my schedule doesn’t allow me to be a good pet owner. He should have waited for a pet until he was home to take care of it. It was selfish if him to get a dog knowing your feelings and the fact that he wasn’t going to be there.
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Yes it is, there are things that I dislike but my husband likes. But I still consider him because he does the same for me
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I feel like you asked already knowing the answer. Poor dog 
If you’re going to neglect, ignore and resent this innocent dog, then please find him someone who will love him the way he deserves.
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Uh, yea, don’t do that.
You should have had the courage to put your foot down in the beginning. If you didn’t, congrats, now you own a dog.
Use some of the separation pay for a dog walker and poop clean up company.
I mean, seriously, giving away a deployed mans dog. SMH. That’s disturbing.
You’re supposed to be the person your husband can trust the most while he’s gone……
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totally wrong not your money time and not your dog so its not up to you where the dog goes i said other things on the other form you you asked i stand by what i said
No rehome the dog, it is not your responsibility
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All I will say is that you never know but that dog could be a major blessing to you and your kids when your husband is gone. That dog will look after all of you, that dog will be more loyal to you than any other person out there, that dog would take a bullet for you and the only thing that the dog needs is food, water, a bed, toys, love and companionship.
You have the right to feel the way that you do but for the love of all the universe, rainbows, and unicorns do NOT rehome that dog without discussing it with your husband. He is serving his country and that dog is probably doing a lot for him for his mental/emotional state such as keeping him grounded when your husband might be feeling some time of way. Also, if your man loves that dog and you just get rid of it like it’s nothing chances are that you’ll probably will be the next out the door like if you were nothing to him. Food for thought…
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I would definitely divorce over my spouse rehoming my dog while I was on deployment. Definitely should be more open communication between you two. Both when he got the dog and before you rehome him. And to the comments about newborns and dogs, you can absolutely safely and happily have both. Ive done this with 3 newborns and multiple dogs.
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Wow. You’re a fucked up individual. He protects our country. The least you can do is care for his dog while he is away. If that dog brings him happiness and comfort who are you to take that from him.
He didn’t ask her he just brought home the dog.
Is it so wrong that she gets rid of it without talking to him? He literally just did that to her. He has none of the responsibility… its not fair … I think this couple needs to have better communication for one… the same could be said that he was selfish for getting the dog in the first place without asking her what she wanted… like clearly none of you have small children… a dog is like adding another child … 
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Is this dog bad or biting anyone I could justify that if he’s deployed, his dog might be his support animal for what he’s going thru while being strong for you and your kids
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Board it, until he comes back. You don’t get to say No, he’s an adult.
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Not everyone likes dogs and I don’t get why in the first world it’s like a crime to not like dogs. Some people don’t like dogs but like hamsters. You can’t force people to like dogs. I get that many of you love your dogs more than you love your own children but what the husband did was wrong. He needs to rehome the dog before he leaves. Tell him that he needs to rehome the dog or find someone to care for it while he’s away.
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As an alternative you could hire a dog walker and someone to look after the dog while hes deployed. I understand its very hard to give a dog the attention they need when you have kids. Its not fair to just throw away a dog but its also not cool to just bring home an animal without communicating with your spouse. Communication is key.
For the dogs sake…please rehome him!!
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I take care of 4 large dogs and 2 children age 2-4 every single day. Had 2 of them before I ever got pregnant and the other 2 after my first was born. Don’t sit there and act like he unbelievable to except that much out of you. If he loves the dog, and you love him, you make that sacrifice. It’s a living breathing family member, you don’t just throw it away, especially not while the man is gone ON DEPLOYMENT.
But, however if you’re not gonna find it in your heart to love that dog for the man that you love, then YOU don’t deserve that dog and your man should start taking a good hard long look at you.
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Ya’ll dependas are something else…
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Horribly wrong. What non-animal people don’t understand about animal people is that in many cases it’s a need not a want. Emotional support animals are a thing and after coming back from deployment he might really need that.
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I do not think this marriage will last. No respect from either side for each other.
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Listen, she’s allowed to not want a dog. The problem is now she has one, without her consent. That’s shitty of her husband. OP - I understand how you feel. It happened to me. However, you cannot re-home the dog behind your husband’s back. You can learn to love the dog, you’ll see. You said he’s a good dog, he’ll remain a good dog as long as you care for him and show him some attention. But you and your husband have some issues you need to work out.
Maybe consider finding a good foster home for the dog while he is gone? With the understanding that when he returns, the dog will come back home?
Those saying she’s selfish and wrong…you don’t think it’s selfish and wrong for someone’s partner to make such a large and life changing one sided decision without consulting the other person? Especially knowing how the other person feels to begin with? The decision for him to get the dog in the first place seems a little selfish, js 
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I would do it in a heartbeat since he knew you didn’t want it.
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The hubby should have made other arrangements for his dog. HE knew she doesn’t like dogs and she has children to take care of. That was very unfair of him to expect her to care for HIS dog!
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They have people that will take care of service people’s dogs while deployed. They foster specifically for them
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He probably thought you would love the dog once it was there. Very sad situation, poor dog doesn’t deserve it.
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Have your husband re home the dog- contact a rescue to do that. If you do it be prepared for a divorce, because that’s is exactly what would happen if anyone made that decision without me. Or he can hire someone to care for the dog until he returns. I have my own thoughts on this but if someone can’t agree to care for my pet in my absence/ I don’t want them in my life
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Definitely tell him to find a home for his dog before he leaves! Sounds extremely selfish that he would bring a dog home without your consent and expect you to take on the additional burden of caring for it while recovering from having a newborn and taking care of your other children all by yourself!
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You are going to have 2 children, that’s already going to be enough responsibility for you. I think it’s selfish of him to bring another living thing into the household for you to take care of without even asking you. He’s 100% wrong. Tell him to find someone to take care of it for him while he’s gone or rehome it. I don’t agree with getting rid of it while he’s gone & him not knowing. That’s kind of mean & may cause problems. It’s ok for people to not like animals, I love animals but I get some people just don’t like the aggravation & the extra responsibility.
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Sounds like he needs a new wifey
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Since you like doing things behind his back while he is deployed…are the kids even his??
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He should’ve neverer brought it home to begin with.
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Rehome the dog,you told him you don’t want a dog, he should have respected your wishes
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Rehoming your husband’s animal companion while he is deployed is horrible. I get it’s more work, but you will break trust in a way that could be irreparable.
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You would be a trash human being for permanently rehoming your husbands dog while he deployed for his country.
Either board it or find a family member/friend to look after it and then seriously reconsider your marriage.
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Uh yeah no, you guys have bigger problems then this dog. Getting a dog is like having a child in the sense that it is a HUGE responsibility. This would be like you deciding to have a child and he was completely against it and you did it anyway. It would be a huge betrayal. I don’t know what I would do, but I can tell you right now that I would have said we need serious counseling. Because what he said when he did this was: I don’t care how you feel about the responsibility, we are taking it on regardless.
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I would definitely tell him about it but if he got the dog KNOWING U DIDN’T WANT IT N TOLD HIM UR NOT CARING 4 IT HES SELFISH…TELL HIM TAKE IT TO A DOGGY DAYCARE TIL HE COMES BACK N CAN CARE 4 IT… Its not like a cat thats pretty much self sufficient its like another child
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I just have to say that I understand being overwhelmed and not wanting the extra stress. But I personally think that honesty and communication are key in any relationship. Let your husband know how you are feeling. That you wish he would have discussed getting the dog with you before doing so. Personally rehoming the dog without your husband’s knowledge would be the equivalent to getting the dog without your permission. Have a conversation with each other and try to come to a mutual agreement. Be it hiring a helping hand with the dog or maybe temporary rehoming while hubby is gone and the dog coming home when hubby comes home. Hopefully you can find some useful information and it work out in both of your favors. Good luck.
Number one how on Earth do you just bring home a dog without even talking to your spouse about it…!!! That’s crazy. It’s not like you’re bringing home a goldfish. It’s a dog! Which the care they require is almost like having another child!! That is definitely unfair to you although I think it would be very mean to rehome the dog at this point… I think you need to have a serious talk with your husband. If he really wants to keep the dog maybe he needs to find somebody else to care for it while he is gone. You guys definitely need to have some serious conversations…
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If you want a divorce . . . rehome the dog!
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I would def find a foster family while he’s away.
I know he got the dog without your consent but getting rid of it while he’s away providing for his family seems harsh and 2 wrongs don’t make a right.
And work on communication . Express your concerns.
Good luck!
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I understand everyone can say what they would do in the situation and how you are wrong but you didn’t ask or agree to a dog…. I feel it is not right to just rehome the dog though… but a dog is a big responsibility especially with a newborn and toddler alone… maybe have him pay someone to come walk him etc or find someone in the family who wouldn’t mind temporarily having the dog.
Sounds like he should re home you…
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I don’t recommend doing that. I realize you don’t want the added responsibility. I believe there are other resources. Please don’t take your frustration out on the animal.
There is a group that takes care of animals of our service members that get deployed and give the animal back when they return.
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I’d do it. He got it knowing you didn’t want it AND he’s leaving. Uh uh.
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I’d be pissed if someone got rid of my animal while I was gone. Probably a good reason to split after that.
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Look for doggy day care during deployment. There are some places that will care for the dog during deployment and return the dog when they return. I understand it’s a lot. He should have respected your wishes but dogs can also be a big help when they return from deployment.
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He is being deployed to serve OUR country and protect our freedom. That’s YOUR country and YOUR freedom, your children’s country and your children’s freedom, that he is freely giving himself to fight for.
YES, it would totally be wrong.
BUT, that being said, if you are going to neglect or even abuse the dog because you don’t like him or her and you obviously have resentment against it because he “went behind your back”, you might consider asking one of HIS family members to look after this one part of HIS FAMILY until he returns.
I’m sure if he knew how you truly felt, and that you were posting anonomously asking if you’d be wrong to “get rid of it” (because let’s face it, that’s what you’d be doing, and it’s obviously something you are seriously considering), HE would want to make other arrangements for his buddy while he was gone.
I have 4 kids. I work full time, 45-50 hours a week. I run a small business. We bought a dog 2 and a half years ago and I could not even IMAGINE someone so much as SUGGESTING that I “get rid” of him. He is a part of our family.
Dogs are only here for a very short time compared to the human lives we live. It’s up to us to make sure they have a great 8 to 10 years of life or a really really sad one.
I just feel so sad for your husband right now, and even more so for the dog.
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As a military spouse myself, you are stuck in a hard spot. There is a lot of questions that needs to be answered before a decision is made like this.
- Has he been deployed before?
- Has he been in true combat situations?
- Any form of PTSD?
- Is this a form of therapy dog for him?
When my husband was deployed (all 8 times) I loved having the dogs. The were great for protection and my kids loved them also.
However there is the extra feeding and watering and occasional vet visits.
And remember the dog never asked to be put in the position it’s in. And if it is loved it will be heartbreaking.
If you husband cares for it all the time the best thing you can do is talk to him and make the best choice for everyone including the dog.
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Its a dog! Its something that makes your husband happy. Keep it
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I was in a similar situation. My husband is active duty navy and is gone 95% of the time. We have 4 kids, including a 1 year old, and already had one dog at the time. Right before deployment he wanted another dog and I told him no way. He got the dog instead and assumed I would care for it while he was away… I have taken care of this extra dog and he’s been gone a total of 10 months out of this year, and it’s a little frustrating to me.
How can you say it’s selfish of her to want to rehome this dog that she made clear she didn’t want, but it wasn’t at all selfish of him to get a dog against her wishes and make her care for it while he’s away?
That’s like knowing your husband doesn’t want another baby and getting pregnant and making him care for a child financially and raise it until they’re 18 years old.
Yes, marriage is about compromise. He didn’t compromise on his end at all.
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Yessss U would be wrong….Dead Wrong for getting rid of his dog while he is gone!
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As long as you find a good home for the dog. But it sounds like you have bigger issues in your marriage if he is bringing home a pet without consulting you and wants you to take care of it. And I’m assuming you doing this will cause a lot of issues for you guys.
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I don’t like dogs at all either. But maybe you should take your husband’s feelings into consideration. Maybe he didn’t want two kids but here he is taking care of them. This is not supposed to be a sarcastic comment I’m just saying we learn to love and adapt.
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Girl, i’m not a dog person either. Have no interest in owning one. But I love animals. With that in mind, I would never not take care of one. I am caring for my father in laws dogs in my back yard as we speak. lol. He may feel as if he needs the dog. Be a little open and give it some time.
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I got a dog when my husband and I were dating. He did not tell me he wasn’t a pet person until after we were married and he started showing annoyance/anger towards the dog. I would honestly consider caring for the dog part of loving your husband. My husband takes our dog out every night and feeds him while I get the kids down (we have 4 kids under 7) and I know he would rather give the dog away. It shows me that he loves me and my wants more than his annoyance.
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I say your husband rehome himself and the dog.
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Some of these comments…. Yikes… while I do not agree that you should do it behind his back, he should have also respected that you didn’t want a dog. Why would you want a dog to be with someone that you know you cannot give the love they deserve? How is it a bad thing she wants the dog to be somewhere they are loved? Idk there’s a lot of different ways to look at this.
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I believe it’s wrong. Your husband musta really wanted that dog to do it without your approval. And to re-home whole he is away supporting and defending your family and defending the rest of us is hard to imagine. Plus with deployments and whatever he deals with as a soldier maybe he actually needs the dog more than you realize. Ask family for help or hire a dog walker/care taker to help but plz reconsider. Thankyou to your husband for his service 
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When your husband comes back with PTSD and needs his dog how will you tell him you got rid of it behind his back, while he was out defending our country and making money to support y’alls family…
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Tell him to rehome it before he leaves
Who doesn’t like dogs You’re sick if you don’t like dogs I mean everybody loves dogs
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Yes it would be that your husband baby his child basically he is going to serve our country and you want to rehome his dog .wtf is wrong with you
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His dog could be a comfort and protection for you and your children while he is gone and much needed support for your husband when he returns. But in the end even with all the comments…its still your choice.
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The dog may help with the older kiddo. Keep him occupied. My dog helps play with my son while we’re outside so I can focus on yard work or other things.
On the other hand, I’d really talk to him about it all. Maybe he can have someone foster the dog
You know pets can help with responsibility, is there away you can have someone come in and help you take care of the dog? A neighbor kid, can play with the dog and little ones. Teach your toddler how to feed the dog, ect. There’s always solutions to these situations. He’s protecting our country, you never know that dog might be a protector for your family while he’s gone. I would just rethink how having a dog is a good thing.
Short answer, yes it would be wrong. He got that dog probably to protect you and his babies while he is gone. So he could worry less about intruders. It would be wrong to get rid of something that makes your husband happy too.
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That dog will protect ur kids in ur absence…I have seen it with my dogs and I have learned to appreciate them…
They are actually very lovely creatures…
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Surprise him while he’s gone and have it trained as a therapy dog.
It sucks that he went behind your back to get it but just bc you don’t like dogs shouldn’t mean he has to go the rest of his life with out one.
Another thought- can the dog be sent his/your parents while he’s away?
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Maybe your husband should get rid of you and keep the dog
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Maybe you can find another veteran who can take care of the dog until he returns.
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Yes, it is very wrong!
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This whole post is a shame. Maybe he should keep the dog and get rid of you. Sounds like a fair trade off.
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I hope he takes the dog and leaves you for even considering getting rid of what you say is his animal. You’re making it clear it’s his so it’s clearly not yours to rehome.
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It was incredibly inconsiderate of hubby to get a dog to which you never wanted…a lifetime commitment which he obviously can’t commit to being deployed….if he doesn’t respect feelings in regards to this decision what’s next? It’s not fair to the dog nor to you as you’ve already got your hands quite full…I am huge animal lover so dog needs to be placed in LOVING home where he/she is loved & accepted as part of family & not resented…good luck
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I think your husband was very selfish doing this but hes going to hate you if you did rehone it but tbh i completely understand you i would tell him to find a sitter. Or a temporary home for this dog while hes gone.
Getting a dog is a family disssion and he didnt take your opinion into account before getting it
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Yes for the dogs sake alone, let it be loved cared for and looked after properly by someone who wants and appreciates it. I don’t agree with you at all but hope the dogs needs are met and it’s put above your selfishness, if that means re-homing then that looks like what it needs to be FOR THE SAKE OF THE DOG. Oh and please DO NOT get any more animals EVER!
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Your husband deserves better. I hope he gets a divorce!
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Doing anything behind his back would be wrong.
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I think he needs to rehome you 
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Yup wrong. Wrong woman. Real wrong. My personal opinion though. You do you I guess.
I’m the odd one out, first there is so much communication missing. You’re husband one should have never gotten a dog if you weren’t on board. It’s called respecting your spouse and their choices not forcing them. I am the dog person i had to wait til my spouse was on board to get my first one then my second one and we have 2 kids. He now loves both dogs especially with how they are with the kids. Honestly a dog can tell when it is not wanted. I would sit down with him before he is deployed and both look for a loving family together if that is the choice between the two of you.
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This is so messed up. Definitely rehome him so he can be with a person that will actually love & take care of him. An unwanted dog won’t ever feel love and they deserve all the love in the world. Also, you sound really young because that is not how a wife should act towards their husband smh. Poor puppy and husband 
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If you care for him and that dog gives him peace of mind you should keep it. I never liked cats but we had a pet pass when my daughter was young and the same week a stray cat showed up at the barn and my daughter wanted to bring it home . At first I said only till one of here friends takes it that was going to but after a few days I told her we were keeping it
NO YOUR NOT WRONG. He shouldn’t be giving you more responsibilities when you’ve clearly stated you didn’t want it. People can’t just expect people to take care of their pets you’ve enough on your hands especially being pregnant you shouldn’t be lifting dog poo anyways. I would give the dog to a loving home who has time for it. Win win. When he leace the army he then will have time
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I’d be pissed if someone got rid of my animal while I was gone. Not right.
People are getting very triggered here.
If this was a joint decision I would be appalled, but I think people are forgetting you weren’t included in this decision.
The woman is clearly overwhelmed and knows her limits.
As long as the doggy goes to a family that can love and fulfil their needs whats the harm?
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If I came home and my dog was gone you’d be next
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If I was your husband and was literally deployed and providing for my family and you got rid of my dog because dogs aren’t your thing I would divorce you. Haha like no joke. That sounds harsh but dude, your husband is making huge sacrifices and you can’t even love on a dog for his sake. Grow up.
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Ummmmm yeah it would be wrong . I would be livid if my SO rehomed my pet, to the point where I would seriously consider divorcing that person. I wish people would stop treating animals like disposable trash.
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