Would I be in the wrong to cut my mom off?

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why would your 11 yr old ask to sleep over this grandmother’s house if she & her sister are treated like this??? That just doesn’t make sense

My mother was the same way, she never asks about my kids (I have 3 boys that are 6,5, and 10 weeks old), cancelled EVERY SINGLE TIME we tried to set up a visit and then had the audacity to say we were keeping the boys from her, bitch please. I grew up in the system but moved heaven and earth to try and have a relationship with my family, stupid I know. I was adopted out of the system by my grandmother and went to live back with my mother until I couldn’t take it anymore at 21 and I went to a residential job corps in Tulsa. I met my husband there in August 2014 and by April 2015, I was pregnant with our first. My mother told me to get an abortion or tell my husband that I lost the baby and leave him. Fast forward to June 2016 and I’m pregnant with our second little boy, they’re 15 months apart. She told me again to get an abortion so I didn’t talk to her for about a year, complete radio silence. Because I guess I was a sucker for pain, I tried again to get her to be apart of the boys lives because I didn’t want her to miss out and be sad. She’s not. I finally got sick of being the only one trying to facilitate a relationship between her and my kids so I told her that if she didn’t step up and actually behave like a grandmother, the boys would forget her. It’s been 3 years and the boys have no clue who she is, as far as they’re concerned, I don’t have a mom or dad. My mother in law is by far the best woman I’ve ever met, she and my father in law drove across 2 states to see my babies while he was battling cancer. He was literally dying and he still moved heaven and earth to see them. It was an eye opener and it was so freeing not to want to have anything to do with my family, they never cared as much as we did :woman_shrugging: at the end of the day, its their loss because my kids are absolutely amazing and they deserve nothing but love and happiness with those who want that for them with no strings attached.

Use a little soap when you wash your hands so they are very clean and you won’t have that dirty relationship on your hands

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You only have one mama. Pray for a reconcilation.

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Not at all, I don’t see a point in having a relationship with someone like that, even if she’s your mother.

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I’m sorry your mom is like that. I would never expose my kids to that. I can not believe someone would treat their grandkids like that.

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I wouldn’t want my children around someone who says nasty things to my children. Grandma or not. Maybe start saying no to her for the things she has you doing too. I wouldn’t be able to enjoy my night either knowing my kids are somewhere they likely aren’t having fun at.

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cut her off, i wouldnt want someone like that around my children

Sounds like she needs Jesus

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Others are a blessing but to a certain limit​:pray::heart:ur kids needs all the attention cos urll never get another opportunity to h e thm st that age again thy growing up and kids d t forget anythng :heart::pray::smiling_face_with_three_hearts::pray::pray:

Don’t take your kids. When ever you have time help her, she is your mother. If she needs help and you can’t leave your kids alone just explain nicely

Cut her off your children does not need the mood she puts them in

I would stay home with my kids and cultivate the relationship you have with your in-laws. Let your mom come to your home where your kids can be kids in their safe environment. I’d tell her straight up why I would.not be coming back there.

Don’t let your kids see her she is mean and will hurt them you should tell her to not ask nothing from you

Sometimes we to delete the negativity by from our life s. If she wants to spend time with any of you she will come around. So don’t do it in positive way. And leave the rest up to her.

Nope been there u do whats best for you and kids

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Sorry you have such a terrible relationship with your mom. My mom always welcomed me, we lunched weekly and she’d come over and do my laundry or help me clean house. She’s been gone 9 years now and I miss not being able to watch QVC on Sunday mornings with her over the phone. She loved In the Kitchen with Dave. If I were you I’d stop being available so much, let her miss you. Prioritize spending time with your bonus mom your mother in law. You need to be on a positive place in order to be happier. Maybe your mom with have a change of heart eventually

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Why haven’t you cut her off already, you don’t don’t need or want that negatively around your babies anyways, she obviously doesn’t care or want your kids around, mother or bot does not give her the right to.treat them or you like that, I’m a true believer that family is who is in your life in a positive way and your inlaws seem to care, your mom can kick rocks, I hope you leave toxic woman’s life, mother or not!!!

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Your kids, your decision- the old saying - absence makes the heart grow fonder- it might work - but you’d have to stop doing things for her. My heart hurts you had to go through your miscarriage alone- :cry:but sweetie that right there should tell you her value of “ family” isn’t like yours- which is good - because your a good Momma- stick to the ones who love your kids unconditionally- the way it is meant to be.:v:t4::heart::sunflower:

She sounds like a very unhappy person. BUT that is no excuse to bad mouth a child especially in front of them. I think She and I would have to have a as my mom would say "a come to Jesus " talk. And lay it all out to her. If she expects you to uber her around, and run errands for her then her attitude HAS to change. And tell her she is Never, ever to talk to your children in a derogatory manner again. Other wise she can call an Uber, and take care of herself with out your help.

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Don’t let her do that to your kids, they will never forget it. My mom never said anything to her mother but my aunts tried to stick up for me.

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Some people can not handle children in their older age and that is the truth . You either understand it or sit down and have a real conversation with her . My mom was truthful enough to tell me upfront by my second child her nerves could not handle it anymore and I respected that but we had communication and it worked for us to be blunt and honest with each other . My ex mother in law was ten years younger than my mom and took care of the kids after that until they hit school age . Everyone is different so before you cut her off all together be glad the other in laws have the nerves to do it . I do not know if your children are hyper or not either since you did not imply . Sometimes we just have to take a step back and understand does she have the nerves for it . I have one hyper grandkid and I do all with him and he lives with us 24 seven and I love him to death but being 60 their is some days I need a nope from him and hand him to the papa and his mom but I chose to do it but I am blunt when I have had enough so communicate and get your answer . I do not know what your relationship is with your mom growing up to now .

No your not in the wrong

No you are not in the wrong . Leave her be

I don’t think it warrants washing your hands of her. Instead maybe start limiting access to your children while kindly but firmly explaining what type of behavior you will and will not accept from her towards your children. Cut back on the amount of things you freely do to help her and see if her having to ask you for things takes her down a couple pegs. Then sit her down for a big heart to heart conversation. Set some firm boundaries regarding treating the children equally.

Honestly no one is obligated to take your children. Is it nice to have family that is willing? Of course. But your mother has raised her child(ren) and some people just don’t have the grandparent trait. It’s doubtful she’ll change. Just don’t go out of your way for her anymore. You’re not obligated to her, either.

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Do not allow her to be around your kids if she says nasty things to them!

Bye bye! I cut my mother out of my family’s life twice. I didn’t talk to her for 6 years. I started talking to her late last year and then I said good bye again 6 weeks ago. I just can not handle a self centred drama Queen. Everything always has to be about her.

But it’s your mom,u can’t stay mad at mom